When are women’s “problems” really problems? According to the vintage ads I’ve collected below, only when they affect a man.
You gals may want to pay special attention to that delicate female problem that has destroyed so many marriages. And no, despite the headline for the ad below, I’m not talking about poor spelling.
And yes, that really was an ad for Lysol. The good folks at Lysol hoped to get women so worried about the effect of their “one neglect” on the men in their lives that they would actually put Lysol in their vaginas. Evidently this ad campaign proved successful; there are a lot of these old Lysol ads floating around. Like this one:
Lysol wasn’t the only brand hoping that women would blame their allegedly smelly vaginas for any problems in their marriages:
And speaking of that whole lady area down there, meet this fellow:
Once you’ve got all your female troubles under control, there’s a simple way to win men back:
The only question is if he’s ready for this jelly.
EDITED TO ADD: Here’s one more! It does not involve the lady regions, however.
I don’t think it says anything about their intelligence either.
That “Making Men Happy” book is either about drugging their jam with uppers, or is about how to give some sort of jelly-related handjobs… the mind boggles.
Its positively non-poisonous! SUPER!
Katz:
My thinking is the flip of this, actually. The original ad copy was for a woman’s magazine; then they decided to get the men to pressure their wives, so they changed the headline and ran the same ad in women’s magazines.
And yes, douches are just generally a horrible, horrible product. Not only are they a solution to a problem that real women don’t generally have*, but they actually can create that problem, by damaging the body’s natural defenses against various infections (which WILL cause issues).
*: My understanding is that in a very small number of women, there are actual medical issues that can cause a genuine problem that can be aided by douching; using this to justify marketing the product widely, though, is similar to saying everyone needs orthopedic shoes.
Oh, and is anyone else getting the Stepford Vibe from the woman in the Nervine ad? I swear it just looks like they’ve Photoshopped out the swinging amulet he’s been using to hypnotize her…..
So… is Nervine essentially Tums?
The Nervine ad is basically “Is your wife’s pesky personality interfering with your happiness? Drug her into compliance with Nervine! Faster and cheaper than a lobotomy!”.
Freemage: That explanation makes sense, too.
katz: Well, except the typo in the line where I said that they switched the title and then ran the ad in women’s magazines again. Because that makes no sense whatsoever.
Right, I figured out what you meant.
Guys, I’ve taken the pill. Was it red, or blue — I really can’t remember, but it’s that magic pill that causes those pesky feminist scales to fall from your eyes! (Maybe I just dipped my eyeballs in Lysol, since as we all know Lysol is gentle to those sensitive ocular tissues. Best side effect: My eyes no longer have that not-quite-fresh odor!)
Anywhooo, now that I can see clearly, I see that all of these ads truly ARE examples of sexism. Sexism against MEN!
Let’s take Dr. Miles Effervescent Nervine Tablets. (I’ve taken them. Have you?) Clearly some white knight mangina quack has decided to come to the rescue of ladies with nervous troubles. What about men with nervous troubles? Men are out there in the mines, dodging cave-ins and wooly mammoths, and I don’t see any tablets for them. And if they had any tablets, they sure as hell wouldn’t be effervescent! They’d probably be those big old horse pills that make you gag. But meanwhile, the ladies are treated to a pleasant, nerve-numbing sparkling beverage. Male disposability in action!
Lysol & Zonite — Men are completely dependent on a woman’s willingness to infuse her nether regions with a caustic liquid. What if she unreasonably declines? How can men ensure the complete daintiness of all of their surroundings, including but not limited to anything they want to be enveloped by? How come no famous surgeons and scientists have developed daintiness solutions for men? I’ll tell you how come. MISANDRY!
And now it’s time to talk about FEMICIN. The evidence is clear — the primary victims of menstrual cramps are men. Where’s the 5-ingredient formula for fast relief of Male Indirect Menstrual Pain (MIMP)? Where’s the rubber bracelet to raise funds for MIMP research? Where are the MIMP walkathons?
Finally, everyone knows it is not possible to make men happy with jams and jellies. This is just an example of how the mainstream media constantly infantilize and patronize men and male desires. The male gaze requires more than just jams and jellies. Men have NEEDS.
If we’re to achieve true equality, we’ll need to talk about marmalade.
And MRAs swear up and down that women were so much haaaaapier during this time. Right. I guess I would be pretty happy too if I could just pop some valium and painkillers every time I had a bad day. Or maybe not.
Whoa, wait, so Lysol cans aren’t for spraying up your hoo-ha? But my husband loves it when his peener smells like clean linen after a romp instead of gooey vagina! Next you’re going to tell me that I shouldn’t be taking heroin for my cough
Much happier with their best friend gin. My grandma was very outspoken for a lady of her time, but she admitted to self medicating with gin because all the ladies in her social group did it.
I can’t believe my grandma is already in her 90s. Wowzers.
Admittedly, my grandma was privileges. Therefore I doubt she has much knowledge of what other ladies did.
My grandma is a feminist. Just not a feminist by modern standards.
Actually, you shouldn’t be taking heroin for your cough. Use morphine. It’s a liquid.
Oh dear lord I knew women used to advised to douche but not with household disinfectant dear god!
I can only think that so many of these poor women must have had yeast infections since they’d killed off the bacteria that keeps everything in balance and then douched even more to try and get rid of the smell, thereby making it worse!
I think Lysol is an American brand and I’ve never seen it in the UK, but according to wikipedia it is highly poisonous to fish (insert joke here) and even more horrifyingly it was used as a form of birth control!
But I can’t believe Doctors reccomended this, we laugh at people 300 years ago believing that bleeding people in a fever was good for them, but seriously, the stuff that was put out as a good medical science only 60 odd years ago beggars belief…
@Cassandra, I didn’t think you did. I just addressed you because you said something about us laughing at silly people from days past. I was trying to support what you said, not disagree with you. Just want to be clear on that in case it got lost in text-translation. 🙂
Seriously, the slogan the MRM wants to adopt is Don’t Rest Until Capitalism Kills an Equal Number of Women on the Shop Floor!
Also, More Women Should Die in Shipwrecks!
cloudiah: Good points, all. *sage nod*
cloudiah, it would be funny if it weren’t so absolutely on point…
And so, I offer this kitten who couldn’t care less about those pesky female issues, because it has discovered the true source of evil in the world!!
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mbbEpuL1xvc&w=560&h=315]
@gillyrosebee,
My kitty Sekhmet would beg to differ. She knows her tail is the true source of evil in the world. That or my purse. More research is needed.
Lysol or anything with phenol in it is toxic to pets. Something about the liver enzymes.
@gillyrosebee
That kitty bears a striking resemblance to Jumpin’ Jack Flash, my neighbor’s cat.
Apparently, these Lysol douches were also often used as spermicides. So apart from being icky women smell ads, these were also subversive ads for birth control at a time when BC was frowned upon. God bless Griswold v Connecticut, the sexual revolution and the pill.