Regular readers of this blog, for better or worse, know one thing that makes “Men’s Human Rights Activist” Paul Elam’s penis happy: The prospect of harassing feminists. He is, after all, the man who wrote of one feminist that “that the idea of fucking your shit up gives me an erection.”
Now Mr. Elam has given us a rather more complete account of what it is that pleases his penis. I’m not sure there was any great demand for this information, but he has chosen to release it, and so here we are.
In a post with the tasteful title “on tits, ass and fucktards,” Elam informs the world that he is in fact a fan of the first two items in this list – that is, tits and ass. He is also, he goes on to explain, a lover of
Sorry, I have to stop for a moment to remind you that you are about to read about things that give Paul Elam — yes THAT Paul Elam — a boner.
I will not think any less of you if you stop reading right here.
If you are ready and willing to continue, here we go:
I like well-formed thighs that lead up to the promise land, and smooth knees above shapely calves. Of course, all that combined with a woman’s pretty face is a crowning glory; full lips that promise supple kisses and great blow jobs, clear eyes and unblemished skin. All this combines to make a woman utterly fuckable, and visually that is what I like most of all. I like to look at women that are little fuckmuffins.
Yes, he actually wrote all that, attached his name to it, and posted it for other people to see.
But as much as Elam likes to look at “little fuckmuffins” he does not actually seem to like most of them very much.
After roughly 150 words devoted mostly to cataloguing his favorite female body parts, Elam evidently runs out of nice things to say about women, and so he returns again to his favorite pastime, devoting the bulk of the post to a rant explaining how much he hates “feminist fucktards,” traditionalist women, and women with Facebook accounts.
While happy enough with “fuckmuffins [who] are sexually liberated and adventurous” and who “like to please and be pleased,” Elam informs the world that he feels no such love for all those awful “fuckmuffins” who “liv[e] life with prudish sticks up their asses made from the same wood that forms the chips on their shoulders.”
He’s also mighty pissed at all those who aren’t interested in hearing him expound at length on what his penis likes.
Of the now almost endless list of things that have grown annoyingly stupid and sanctimonious about feminism is the Victorianesque shaming of my sexual programming as a man. Even with the so called “sex positive” feminists, the most hypocritical assholes of them all, the only positive sexuality they embrace is that of women. To them, male sexuality, in all its glory, is something to be buried, controlled and allowed to surface only when it serves the sexual needs of some narcissistic, horny, self-absorbed little “sex positive” princess.
Unfortunately, more traditional-minded women aren’t much interested in hearing about his penis either. And for some reason they, like feminists, think that there might be some sort of connection between men and rape.
Who are those traditionalists? You will know them by their obsequious silence while feminists shame men for committing the scurrilous act of looking at women sexually. Or better yet, as they join in with their “men can stop rape” bedfellows to twist and distort the natural inclinations of young men with Puritan sexual guilt that marches in lockstep with the feminist hatred of male sexuality.
Elam stops for a moment to reassure his readers that despite all that stuff about “well-formed thighs” and blow-job lips he prefers Good Women to mere “fuckmuffins.”
Now, all that being said, is woman-as-fuckmuffin all I care about? Hardly. As a matter of fact, I would throw fuckmuffin to the curb faster than you can say “patriarchy” to spend time with a woman of good character and intelligence. I have learned in life that my dick has a healthy agenda for humanity, but not necessarily for me. So as my values have matured, so has my taste in women.
Heck, it turns out he actually sort of hates “fuckmuffin.” After all, he tells us,
fuckmuffin … is prone to act indignant when she feels sexualized (by the wrong guy). She can become so angry at being “objectified” that you can see her tits shake right through that tight sweater with the neckline that plunges to the vicinity of her toes.
And then he compares her to a bug:
Time and experience will lead [men] to understand that fuckmuffin should be regarded with same respect as you would afford a stinging insect.
Basically, he explains, the only problem with lustful young men who ogle women is that they haven’t learned to hate women enough quite yet. And so women shouldn’t complain when young guys stare at them. Or when they don’t. As far as I can figure it, he thinks women shouldn’t ever complain about anything.
Leave [young men] the fuck alone. There is nothing wrong with them. Nothing needs to be fixed. If you want to help a young man like that, just start encouraging him to connect the dots between fuckmuffin’s propensity to take her own picture and post it to Facebook four times a day and her ultimate tendency to make him miserable. Eventually he will get the connection. And if he doesn’t, maybe that makes him happy. Either way, it is none of your fucking business.
And so ends what’s probably the strangest work of erotica I think I’ve ever read.
@talacaris: This and this too.
I’ll eventually get around to making a stir-fry, if anybody wants some. Sadly, I’ve gone through all my rice.
Can I come and play in the Kingdom of Cool Story Brah, too?
I had peanut noodles with veggies. Sadly, not enough to share. Can I still have mochi?
@hellkell He’s a junior now, and he met them in the middle of his sophomore year. And it’s not like he was blown off by a large clique of feminists hell-bent on destroying any guy in their path. I’ve met a few of them. They’re just normal, nice girls (and a couple of guys, according to him) who he met in his classes and through blogging. They shared interests and apparently, a common goal to be free of discrimination.
And no, I’m not against all feminists. I know that people who identify as such can be assholes. But nearly every feminist I’ve met (in person/online) say that society hates the feminine traits guys like my brother possess, not the people themselves and I just don’t buy it. If that’s the case, why aren’t traditionally feminine women villified? And why do women w/ the “prized” masculine traits suffer, too?
I have problems with the movement itself, not the people in it. My views on it are pretty ambivalent, which is why I have trouble calling myself either a feminist, MRA, w/e. I’ve met many feminists who practice what they preach and that’s great, but I don’t agree with a lot of the ideologies behind it.
I sincerely hope that talacaris story is not one of those the “friend” was me dealios
Mochi for everyone! Except the trolls, none for them.
So he tells them the problems he’s facing, they explain how the perception of boys wearing girls’ clothes as “sissy” stems from the systemic devaluation of women, he refuses to listen to them, and when they get annoyed he whines endlessly because they’re not taking his man problems seriously enough.
Your brother and you must get along splendidly.
That’s a joke, right? Or maybe you are oblivious to the entire everything of everywhere?
Someone can distort media representations, too. Prime example: MRAs do it all the time.
Also, siryouarebeingmocked is not what I call a reliable source. His logic about Nice Guys not being real was that the sign of a nice guy is complaining you cant get dates and real nice guys would never complain so therefore nice guys can’t exist. Or something.
This troll is kind of boring.
Anyway, on sucky news (no one minds regulars blabbing about their personal life, right?) I can’t try to learn a language without coming in contact with annoying sexist example texts that I then rant about on Tumblr. In short, the example conversation had a guy being declared innocent of assaulting a woman because she was opening and closing her handbag a lot. Seriously. The judge said “served her right at the end”.
Curses! Foiled by the botched link.
http://fade31415.tumblr.com/post/47556303519/fail-harder-stupid-book
I’ve read this whole thread and have formulated a thousand comments in my mind as I did so. I’ve just come to the conclusion that nope, RavenSongXia, nope. Your appropriation isn’t appropriate.
Raven, I know you’re trying to hit all the strawman high points, but you’re an embarrassment to trolls everywhere.
As far as Talacris goes, the experience of realizing your friend might be a predator is probably not uncommon, given the number of people raped each year. Finding out a friend or family member might be predatory isn’t easy to process, so I’m inclined to offer what help I can. The pervocracy also wrote a post on the slavering beast that might be helpful and the ways society deals with predatory people.
Raven, your brother doesn’t sound like a misogynist from what you’ve said, it sounds like he doesn’t understand kyrairchy and the kind of incllusive feminism found here. Some further reading might help, and help him to find better allies for his struggles.
Your problem stems from using questionable posts from dubious sites. Those posts are frequently set up against straw feminism or are based on a lack of knowledge about the terminology or concepts being used.
I also was rather skeptical of feminism at one point, and read some of the same stuff. Eventually though, reading feminism through 101 sites and various blogs brought me around. As well as reading the comment blogs of even the moderate or skeptical MRA sites.
It’s a neat trick, attempting to twist a theory that the hypothetical brother disagrees with into personal discrimination against him. Smarter trolling than we’ve seen in a while, but ultimately still a fail.
You think they aren’t? Seriously?
Suffer in what way? Stop being vague.
Many butch women suffer from bigotry against gender non-conformity because they are seen as women desiring undeserved power reserved only for men. But in general, they also receive a lot of benefits for being masculine. For instance, a woman who distances herself from “useless and feminine” activities will probably be seen in a better light than a woman who engages in all kinds of feminine activities that are seen as worthless.
Maybe mochi is better with troll tears. I don’t generally like it.
Also, the main reason femme men face bigotry is that they seen as lacking in self-respect (because no man would ever want to be a woman for any reason). That alone is enough to show that sexism is inherently unilateral even though it affects everyone.
I originally assumed they were in good faith (albeit clueless), but now I think they are just a boring troll. A really, really boring troll. Did I mention I’m bored?
@katz
Hypothetical brother pretty clearly wanted feminists to help him with his problems without getting their stupid lady problems all up in it. And then he got upset when feminists didn’t go for it.
Oh, crap.
The blockquote monster thinks you’re full of shit.
There’s also the fact that butch women are considered boner-unfriendly, and how dare they not try to be more appealing?
I would stay away from open flames if were you, those straw feminists are quite flammable.