Sometimes my job here is too easy. Usually I have to leave the confines of my own blog to find examples of misogyny to share on the blog. Today, the misogyny came right to me, in the form of a cartoon-villain-esque monologue deposited directly into the comments here by a proud woman-hater named Mark Minter.
Oh, but don’t call him a misogynist. Because Mr. Minter has declared war not only on women (and on me) but on language itself. Rejecting the dictionary definition of “misogynist” as “one who hates women,” Minter declares himself to be a “woman hater” but somehow not a misogynist. I don’t get it either. Here’s his, er, argument:
Manboob,
You throw this misogynist term around like it is an insult. But you know me, who I am, what I write. And I honestly believe I am not a misogynist.
I am a Woman Hater. There is a world of difference.
Misogynist is a clever little Femcentric term that women created to hurl at men or society whenever men or society don’t fall to their knees for the little dears. Sort of like Racist, something that the thinking man, the educated men would never wished to be levied at him.
But I’m woman hater. And it came from a long, long time of seeing, watching, and being with women, and knowing the creepy, greedy, scummy, black hearted little bitches that they are. You can’t hurl that “you just get didn’t get any” thing women that like to toss at men’s bloggers, because I did and I know them to their fucking core, literally and figuratively. My number dwarfs the number of the average man.
A woman hater knows women, to their core, to their little black hearted center, and hates them as they are for who and what they are. I could less if the little dears get all the institutional things they want. Heck I want them to have it and create their little world that they are over there with them, and men are over here.
Hurl your epithets at me, your misogynist accusations and I don’t care other than, in a correct verbal sense, you are using the wrong term. Its a little insulting from that standpoint, but I find it fitting that you can’t tell a misogynist from woman hater. You defend them because you don’t know them.
See, being a woman hater is a sign of good sense, a realistic appreciation of the world, the way things are, and especially the way women are.
PS, I’m here because my name showed up with you bashing me over something and I wish you would do it more. It really gives me better cred with the fellows. Fuck, we’re even good for each other. I give you shit to write about so you can play your beta/omega game, “Look I stood for you against those bad bad men. Please don’t reject me.” and your slamming me gives me more cred in the ‘Sphere.
Toddles Manboob
Mark Minter
So there you have it.
Also, Mark, I believe you mean “toodles,” not “toddles.” “Toodles” is a shortening of “Toodle loo,” a slang term meaning “goodbye.” “Toddle,” by contrast, means “to walk with short, unsteady steps” or “to walk leisurely; stroll.”
Also, my name isn’t “Manboob.” “Man Boobz” is the name of the blog, and my term for dear fellows like yourself, who are men and also boobs. That is, “foolish or stupid” people. I’m David.
Toddles!
EDIT: In case you had forgotten who Minter was (I had), he wrote the little manifesto I wrote about here. You know, the one about how Obama’s reelection was going to lead to some sort of dystopian matriarchy. Pretty standard Manosphere moonbattery.
To TomBCat you are write. I have a throwaway email for this and it keeps saying I’m not logged into it, even though I am (logged into both it and my regular gmail). So you….LITERALLY read my mind.
Actually, I think a potential warning sign of MRA is if they write you using the weird slightly archaic language. There are other reasons some people do this, but the person I am thinking of wrote in this overly flowery and weirdly archaic prose about me. I’ll try to think of some more as they come to me…it’s actually surprising me how little reveal there was from this particular dude.
HA. You are write. Unsexual freudian slip. Thanks for being helpful, all!
Not to mention that, according to conservatives, there’s a wealthy and powerful science/academia lobby that’s always pushing through its agenda.
If you ever wish to retort with a biased non-peer reviewed source of your own, you can always submit to the Prestigious Journal of Scientific Psychology (my other other joke blog).
I bet that when Minter typed up that comment, he imagined it being read out loud like a noir monologue from a tough, hard-bitten hero who’s seen it all.
That sloth (previous page, video) is a total mangina white knight. How did I not see it before?
AhahahahahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA…..
That’s like the one about “the multi-million dollar animal research industry” or “Big Pharma paying academics millions to disprove homoeopathy and make useless cancer drugs they can MARKET for PROFIT”. Excuse me while I check my stipend payment, I’m wondering where the rest of it must have gone… also why my colleagues who use animals never seem to have as much funding as those who don’t…
Ok, so far I didn’t see anything like this in the comments–sorry if I’m repeating something someone already said. My computer/internet kinda sucks right now, and it doesn’t always load the comments.
I think in this guy’s mind a “misogynist” is someone who hates women as a group. He is a “woman hater” because, in his mind, every woman he has come across is “like that”. It’s hard to say though, since his rant implies he hates woman as a group, yet his moniker uses the singular. And he also switches inappropriately between singular and plural. Or I’m simply bored and over-thinking, and trying to rationalise his bad grammar.
Hey, if any one is there who’s up for derailing personal problems…
The guy who doesn’t get what the word ‘no’ is for started to call me again. He lives only streets away and we often meet on the bus (not since the incident though) but I’m bound to meet him again but don’t know how to act or what to do…
any suggestions?
(I’m sorry to start with this again, but I still couldn’t talk to any of my friends or family about this…)
@TomBcat
It is hard to give advice because I can’t predict how the guy would react. Thus I fear I’d give you advice that could put you in danger.
However, I’m sure there are wiser and more experienced folks on here who could help. I’m the type who would just change my entire routine in order to avoid the guy.
@tomBcat
Jedi hugs if you want them. 🙁 Sadly I don’t know what to do about it. :/ I have literally zero experience with this.
I don’t think he’s dangerous.But he might be persistent and get me to trust him once again.
He might try and make me feel bad for my decisions.
He might try and ridicule me out in public.
Usually I’m good at ignoring people or telling them to fuck off. But there’s something about this guy that makes me very vulnerable
.It was kind of a stupid question anyway, it’s a situation no one can really help with from afar. But hell, I don’t even know how to reinforce my decision. If he’s going to talk to me on the bus I’ll act like nothing has happened, and I so don’t want to do that. I need to say something that is short enough so I don’t choke halfway through and that doesn’t leave room for him to argue. But all I can think of is “please don’t talk to me” and that’ll just make him ask me stuff.(People always want explanationsI’m so going with Sam Vimes on this one…)
Aaanyway, maybe the force of Jedi hugs will keep him away 😉
hopefully he doesn’t own a light saber.
Also, melody, wow, that sounds hard. I hope you don’t encounter situations where you have to do that.I know lots of people who change their routing just to avoid certain individuals, it always hurts me to see how some asshole can force them to do that.I’m usually more the “fuck with me and see my claws” – type, but either way, it’s almost impossible to decide how to act(and both running and fighting have their downsides).
So anyway, sounded like you had some experience and I’m sorry because that sucks dinosaur balls.
Maybe you could just give him the total cold shoulder? Like, say something short and repetitive; “I’m not interested in talking to you.” “Why?” “I said I’m not interested in talking to you.” And then just stop responding to him.
Hopefully he’ll get bored? You shouldn’t feel obliged to explain yourself to him, and don’t worry that you’re being rude. You’re dealing with an asshole, not being an asshole, by keeping things brief and blunt.
And let’s be real, the odds are good that he knows what he’s doing and is purposefully manipulating you into feeling bad by not letting him walk all over you. If you keep your boundaries strong he’ll get the message, even if he pretends not to understand.
/talking with no knowledge of the situation
Marie: Dang Karalora, on the other thread you reveal that I’m thinking evil, here you reveal that I am an apple, what shall I do next? XD
Poison Snow White.
I always feel obliged. I always assume that somehow I’m the asshole and if he could just explain himself I’d see that.
On the other hand, why did he make me explain my ‘no’ in the first place? He then told me that I just like to be in control like that was a bad thing.What’s that even supposed to mean? That if I’d let myself go I wouldn’t feel the need to say no?
That he knows what I want and I’m just being silly?
so your suggestions are pretty much spot on, is what I mean.
Sorry I’m venting again, it’s just that I’m used to much worse and hate that I can’t deal with this one. I’m ashamed because I let him do that to me. I said no, he ignored it and I accepted it, now I’m basically victim blaming myself.
And then some idiot told me this week how rape culture wasn’t a thing here, that it was an american problem, we don’t have that.Also I shouldn’t speak of privilege, that’s counter productive.
I know one person who’d actually call himself a feminist, the rest just assumes I’m being bitchy because of some bad experiences.
So sorry again, m starting to post just coincides with a lot of this shit. At least I’m only talking about a few situations.
TomBcat: On the other hand, why did he make me explain my ‘no’ in the first place? He then told me that I just like to be in control like that was a bad thing.
It’s not a bad thing. It’s an essential thing. Yes, you want to be in control of what happens to your body. He’s complaining that he’s not being allowed to have control over what happens to your body.
That makes him the asshole.
TomBCat, I think that what Bagelsan and pecunium are saying is good. Also, I’m not trying do discourage you or anyone from asking for advice here, but have you tried looking at Captain Awkward? I am on my phone so can’t search there, but I bet they’ve dealt with similar situations, and they often suggest simple “scripts” people can use to get through uncomfortable situations. Check it out.
Hey thanks cloudiah! I only read it very sporadically, so I didn’t know there might be some advice to find.
Idk about where you are, but “leave me alone!” In the right tone on public transit can get him some serious side eye from everyone else (remember, they probably won’t be paying attention until Serious Voices are used, so the assumption will likely be that a stranger is bothering you) — if he gives a shit about how people perceive him, it might make him shut up.
Also, headphones. The actual inability to hear the assholery is awesome *says someone who spent the last 3 days trapped in conservative land*
Fuck, I know this will derail, and I don’t want to take away form TomBcat’s important question (being actually relevant to real things) but this happened:
[discussion regarding CT’s new gun laws]
You know that orders of protection/restraining orders don’t prevent the abuser from getting a gun?
They shouldn’t, it isn’t a felony! And anyways, restraining orders are pointless!
…
If Sharon Tate’d had a .38…
The NRA showed that rape rates fell after [something something] women carrying guns.
And this is why good sound canceling headphones are totally worth it (there isn’t that much difference between $50~60 and the fucking $200 ones, mine were $50~)
Nah, that’s fine, my question was over anyway.There’s only so much strangers on the internet can do…
But yeah, if gun laws make restraining orders pointless, we should just forget about restraining orders. Makes sense! (I don’t get it…)
TomBcat, one thing I think is essential is to recognize that he is doing the dominance dance with you.
People do it all the time in public in just these ways.
Sometimes just recognizing that makes a difference in how we respond to unwanted attention.
@thebwilderness
Time to elaborate? I don’t quite get it, but it sounds like something useful to get.
Captain Awkward has this: http://captainawkward.com/2011/03/24/the-art-of-no-continued-saying-no-when-youve-already-said-yes/
But that isn’t really what I mean when I talk about public displays of dominance. People demand our attention in public because they do not think we will “make a scene”. All they were doing is “being friendly” with that demand for attention. They get that your body language is saying no but they do not care because the point is to make you give them your time whether you like it or not. If you reject them it becomes all about how inappropriate you are instead of how effing inappropriate they are for refusing to take no for an answer.
Here is another bit that might help. http://yesmeansyesblog.wordpress.com/2011/03/21/mythcommunication-its-not-that-they-dont-understand-they-just-dont-like-the-answer/
Seconding Argenti on the headphones (and the price! Catch me paying $500 when $70 does the job). Also, would reflective sunglasses be feasible to wear? They mean creepster can’t make eye contact with you, another plus.