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Pompous Misogyny on Parade, Part Eleventy Million Billion

But of course! She's a she.
But of course! She’s a she.

Most misogynists, it would seem, are loath to admit that they’re misogynists. “How can you say I hate women?” they’ll ask. “After all, I love my sister. She’s not like the rest of those whores.” Or, “I just hate Western Women.” Or whatever fine distinction they like to make to pretend that their hatred of pretty much every woman they ever come across, or imagine in their overheated little brains, is something other than misogyny.

Then there are those who not only admit their misogyny but who are downright proud of it, thinking it’s a sign of their own personal superiority. Today, a pretty good example of Proud Misogyny, taken from the reactionary Christian blog Samson’s Jawbone.

Our intrepid woman-hater starts off by contrasting his brand of misogyny to the peculiar kind of woman-appreciation advocated by the PUA gasbag now known as Heartiste (but still known as Roissy when this post was written):

Roissy is fond of saying that he’s not a “misogynist”; no, learning the unvarnished truth about female psychology has given him a *higher* appreciation for women. Not so for me. Sociosexual philosophy has disillusioned me beyond all reckoning. Peering deep into the psyche of woman has rendered me grievously scornful in feeling and mercilessly unscrupulous in behaviour towards these unholy, ungodly beings. I venture to say that… I hate them. Yes, I hate them! And how could I not?

Did I mention that he has literary pretensions as well? Like a lot of reactionaries, Mr. Jawbone has adopted a melodramatic, vaguely archaic prose style that he evidently feels is the height of literary sophistication, but which sounds a lot more like the monologuing of some cartoon villain.

Oh, the vile criteria by which women judge menfolk! O, abominable, loathsome beings!

Is anyone else reminded of Newman from Seinfeld?

But Mr. Jawbone is just getting started:

A creature so damnably constituted as to admire a man for his “social dominance” – by which is meant his ability to waltz through an absurd series of meaningless, contrived riddles – rather than his work ethic, his self-sacrifice, his affability, his charity, his honesty, his justice – in short, his righteousness and integrity; such a creature deserves to be used and abused like a cheap street harlot – or better yet, a vermin-ridden ass – and discarded appropriately. Nothing more; she merits nothing better.

Here’s an actual vermin-ridden ass, having a nice scratch in the dirt:

donkey-lying-down-1-655x373

Oh, but Mr. Jawbone isn’t done yet:

Words like “honour”, “duty”, “kindness”… those things that define goodness and rightness… all meaningless, meaningless to this wretched, wicked half of the human race. And do women who profess belief in something “higher”; women who should know better, afford any solace? No. Instead they show themselves as fraudulent, fickle hellcats who think good men are “weak”. So alas, I can no longer view the distaff horde with anything besides revulsion and contempt. They perjure themselves by their own words; they are beasts, deserving nothing but callous treatment and damnation; and I can wish nothing upon them but furious hatred, ignominy and a miserable passing.

What a cheery fellow!

I take no joy in penning the above – but I feel clean and spotless as the lamb. What else is to be said for a lot that believes black to be white, up to be down, and good men to be worthless? Poor Ashley Wilkes, and all good men.

Hate to break it to you, dude, but you’re not actually a good man. You’re a pompous dickbag. Oh, sorry, you’re a base, proud, shallow, beggarly, three-suited, hundred-pound, filthy, worsted-stocking knave!

(Thanks to Shakespeare for that last insult, and to Quackers for pointing me to Mr. Jawbone’s post.)

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cloudiah
8 years ago

CassandraSays, Tell us that story again about you not being attracted to Brad Pitt. [cloudiah settles down to watch a trollsplosion]

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

I dunno, David, remember Meller’s feelings about how much more erotic men find cats than feminists?

hellkell
hellkell
8 years ago

Or the time you weren’t into Russell Brand. That was a good one.

I always spit on short dudes with ocular irregularities.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

Well, cloudiah, you see, Brad Pitt (though he seems to be a nice enough guy) is blond, like Liam Hemsworth, and I don’t like blonds. Or men who look like werewolves, like Russell Brand.

Shiraz
Shiraz
8 years ago

My thing with Russell Brand is that everytime I see him, I have a deep urge to wash his hair — like, with a hose.

hellkell
hellkell
8 years ago

David: if he’s Pell, he’s learned to keep his shit together.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

There’s also the fact that he always looks like he’s tweaking. Which can be entertaining for a comedy sketch, but doesn’t make me want to get any closer.

Perfectus Raymond
Perfectus Raymond
8 years ago

Shiraz:

Do you teach women coding often, troll? “Weird exceptions?” Whew! What a dick.

Sadly, yes. Recently that was the problem:

#include

main()
{
int x = 3+4%7;
printf(“%d”,x);
}

“Why is that not zero?”

Oh god.

hellkell
hellkell
8 years ago

Shut up, Al.

Kittehserf
8 years ago

David, trolly’s on about being from Boston, the great Al giveaway.

Seconding what hellkell said, too – Pell hasn’t been able to keep a sock going this long in ages. His meltdown time has got much shorter.

And of course cats are evil. Maddie was trying to beat me to death with her tail before. It would have been a very slow death if I’d stayed put.

Russell Brand, eww. There’s just something about his looks I can’t stand. Or maybe it’s just that I don’t like him, the person. Brad Pitt, yeah, good looking but not in a way I find appealing. If we’re talking blondes, I’d rather look at the young Paul Newman or Robert Redford. If we’re talking actors I’d rather look at Gregory Peck, ‘cos handsome + lovely human being. 🙂

Shiraz
Shiraz
8 years ago

Someone let you teach?!

You wrote, “Sadly, yes. Recently that was a problem.” after I called you a dick. I guess you’re slowly learning.

hellkell
hellkell
8 years ago

Russell Brand’s head looks way too big for the rest of him, it’s freaky to look at.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

There’s also the “soap is your friend, or at least it should be” issue.

Kittehserf
8 years ago

Maybe Russell Brand needs some Lux Toilet Soap!

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

Well, his eyebrows are a bit bushy, but I dunno that I’d recommend going that far in the other direction.

Kittehserf
8 years ago

He’d probably need Lux with a dash of Agent Orange to have much effect.

thebewilderness
thebewilderness
8 years ago

I have no idea who that is and I am not at all displeased in my ignorance.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

Um, what? I’m all for jokes, but that’s a bit much.

hellkell
hellkell
8 years ago

Agent Orange would be a bit much. Russell looks like a Lava sort of dude. That soap will get out all sorts of dirt.

Kittehserf
8 years ago

Sorry, my bad.

reginaldgriswold
reginaldgriswold
8 years ago

Al, as someone who routinely teaches coding to women (and girls), here’s my suspicion:

You’re a terrible teacher. Quit while you’re ahead.

Perfectus Raymond
Perfectus Raymond
8 years ago

@Shiraz:

Someone let you teach?!

Yep.

You wrote, “Sadly, yes. Recently that was a problem.” after I called you a dick. I guess you’re slowly learning.

I generally ignore insults, sorry. “Sadly, yes.” was an answer to the question if I teach. And what followed after “Recently that was a problem” was one example of the stupidity I’m constantly confronted with.

Other “gems”:

#include

main()
{
int x = 65536 * 65536 + 1;
printf(“%dn”,x);
// why is that 1 and not some large number?

int y = 4/2*2;
printf(“%dn”,y);
// why is that 4 and not 1?

float f = 1.0/11;
float g = 0.0;
int i;

for (i=1; i<=11; i++){
g = g + f;
}

if (g != 1.0) {
printf("g is not onen");
// but why?
}

if (-2147483648 == 2147483648){
printf("-2147483648 equals 2147483648");
// how?
}

}

Shiraz
Shiraz
8 years ago

It was nice fucking with you, PR! You took me utterly seriously, which is fucking funny, you literal-minded dope.

Have a Nice Day!

— Shiraz

Argenti Aertheri
8 years ago

Whee, we’re down a jester. Oh wait, I see scrapemind and Joe are both filling the role.

Are we still doing confessions? Because there are probably naked pictures of me loose on the internet.

Argenti Aertheri
8 years ago

Obvious thing is obvious. Moot now, but expert in obscene religion? Add that to the biography of Pell, and I feel dumb, that should’ve been obvious days ago.

Kittehserf
8 years ago

You reckon it was Pell? It read more like Mr Al to me. The “I’m an expert” was very Pell, but as was said, he kept his shit together much longer than Pell does, and the Boston bit was very Al.

Mr 99% indeed, if there isn’t in fact a troll clone factory somewhere in Boston …

lowquacks
lowquacks
8 years ago

@Kittehserf

Weren’t they one and the same?

Countless tales of drug-filled debauchery

Yeah, well, I don’t seed.

lowquacks
lowquacks
8 years ago

I do think Russell Brand is pretty alright-looking, particularly when looking less grody, but the fact that he’s entirely unfunny and consistently asinine when he tries to be serious ruins it for me.

Kittehserf
8 years ago

Who was the same – Pell and Mr Al? No, I don’t think so. Pell’s Tells are usually different from Al’s.

Speaking of Pells, did you see Georgie boy has been appointed to the Pope’s advisory committee on Vatican reform? Pffft fat lot of good that’ll do.

lowquacks
lowquacks
8 years ago

I thought it was all a big surprise when it all came out.

What the hell could Pell want to do with reform? He’s more into regression. New pope seems pretty reasonable for a pope, what’s he want to do with that piece of scum?

lowquacks
lowquacks
8 years ago

Nevermind, I’m thinking of Steele. And I read our most recent visitor as Al.

Marie
8 years ago

@Pompous Raymond

There are always weird exceptions, in general they are bad at math. Also for girls the proverbial “bad at math good at coding” is wrong, too: try to teach them C, they don’t get it, e. g. pointers, method prototypes… omg!

Dude, that was literately half the women in my immediate or soon to be immediate family who aren’t two years old. Some exceptions. Also, it looks like you might need a citation

@David

I’m trying to fiigure out why Raymond here is so offended by all the cat pics I post here, as the love of kitties is untainted by evil eros.

Of course, I do eat cats from time to time. With bavarian cream pie for desert. While having PIV sex (not with cats).

Well, so long as it’s not with the cats 😉

@cassandrasays

I dunno, David, remember Meller’s feelings about how much more erotic men find cats than feminists?

That sounds so weird.

hellkell
hellkell
8 years ago

Marie: Meller was a treasure trove of weird.

Aaliyah
8 years ago

if (-2147483648 == 2147483648){
printf(“-2147483648 equals 2147483648”);
// how?
}

Putting aside his misogyny, this is a really bad example of a woman (yes, woman) who is bad at coding. Whether the if-argument makes sense is besides the point because this is a perfectly valid set of code lines. Even someone only marginally familiar with JavaScript like me can see why.

It really does nothing more but support the idea that he’s a misogynist – he’s pointing out a trivial “error” made by a woman to give an example of how bad women are at coding.

Fade
8 years ago

I have a question:

If a trivial error at coding makes women bad at programming, does me getting some of it right when my brother was trying to teach me something cancel that out? (warning, I’m not good at programming, this was just like a logic programming-esque game he was playing with me).

I mean, she’s presumably good and she got something wrong (or maybe not even wrong from some of the actual programmers comments here), I’m bad and I got something right…

Or does the universe implode if it conflicts with I-can’t-even-remember-the-troll’s-name-cuz-he-was-so-boring’s description?

Aaliyah
8 years ago

does me getting some of it right when my brother was trying to teach me something cancel that out?

No, because a woman actually doing something technical right is an exception to the rule, remember?

Fade
8 years ago

Ah, thank you for reminding me.

That tricky exception to the rule thing, that you can use to justify anything.

Person 1:The sky is red.

Person 2:not right now, now it’s blue.

person 1:Oh come on, man that’s just the exception to the rule

Marie
8 years ago

@fade

Person 1:The sky is red.

Person 2:not right now, now it’s blue.

person 1:Oh come on, man that’s just the exception to the rule

XD That amused me way too much.

pecunium
8 years ago

I see that (in keeping with The Boston Baby), Raymond Imperfectus has decided to ignore me.

Looking at the wikipage I have to wonder, is he Roger Davies, or Moonraker (those being the two most active contributors to the page, of late).

Though of course, it being only about 5 years old, maybe he’s Rwflammang, (though that user seems more interested, and adept, in general issues of Christianity, so odds are this isn’t our little one’s actual self).

Well, ok, I don’t really think (looking at the content of the page) our heroic claimant of the status of the Perfecti, is all that involved in the writing of that page.

But it was a clever attempt to dodge the charge of facility. Pity there is evidence to be seen.

“Now you’ve admitted drinking alcohol, smoking weed, taking MDMA, anything else to confess?”

Well, this one time; at Ban Camp…. Ok, more than one time, and not just at Band Camp (ok… I’ve never been to Band Camp).

pecunium
8 years ago

Raymond Imperfectus: You should consider becoming a credens of Catharism, we are not homophobic.

Yeah, but you are challenged on the examination of texts.

I don’t consider promiscuity contradictory to Christianity.

You do, ergo it is not the church for her (which ignores the pomposity of the only evangelist for Albinensinism I’ve seen of late).

(still I have to tutor introductory courses where the girls are extremely stupid but somewhat hot

Tell.

Sinful, both of them. At least they don’t contain gelatine like crème bavaroise, so they are less sinful than this dessert from hell.

Tell.

This is sad, it’s not even Pell levels of clever. Sort of sadly exhibitionist, like a flasher in a speedo.

pecunium
8 years ago

I’d say it’s all Al. He was spewing stuff from his most recent incarnation (pastry/women who code).

Either it’s someone who decided to mine that specific pair of threads to get material to pad out his persona, or it was Al saying, “haha, fooled you again”.

Kittehserf
8 years ago

” Sort of sadly exhibitionist, like a flasher in a speedo.”

Now I’m seeing our Speedo-loving, camera-hogging Opposition Leader.

::hurl::

thankyouverymuch

Kittehserf
8 years ago

It’s kind of a pity Rays of Pomposity turned out to be the same old Mr Al just making up shit. I’d have enjoyed throwing stuff about ebil fleshly sexytiems that happen in Spirit at him. What a dismal notion of life, with this beautiful world being evil, and the world of spirit being something totally different …

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

(Warbles in a vaguely Sesame Street-like way)

Therapy, it’s good for you, therapy, it’s what we recommend!

Seriously, kid, you need to get some help for that compulsive trolling problem of yours.

Argenti Aertheri
8 years ago

Yeah ok, Al could certainly try for Pell “expert” tells. He’s proven he does have a brain in there somewhere (Steele!)

And I’m much better at posting drunk than I am after sleeping pill kicks in. (The cause of my “must be Pell!”)

Lacked the fatty fatty nonsense of Pell.

Kittehserf
8 years ago

“fatty fatty nonsense”

I have an image of Pell’s nonsense coming out in lumps of lard 😀

Yeah, it’s a pity Al’s intelligence is so mixed up with a toxic personality – and that he clings to all the shit that makes him so miserable. Maybe trying to change himself is just too haaaarrd and it’s easier to blame the world and wallow in his mess of hate and self-pity.