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Pompous Misogyny on Parade, Part Eleventy Million Billion

But of course! She's a she.
But of course! She’s a she.

Most misogynists, it would seem, are loath to admit that they’re misogynists. “How can you say I hate women?” they’ll ask. “After all, I love my sister. She’s not like the rest of those whores.” Or, “I just hate Western Women.” Or whatever fine distinction they like to make to pretend that their hatred of pretty much every woman they ever come across, or imagine in their overheated little brains, is something other than misogyny.

Then there are those who not only admit their misogyny but who are downright proud of it, thinking it’s a sign of their own personal superiority. Today, a pretty good example of Proud Misogyny, taken from the reactionary Christian blog Samson’s Jawbone.

Our intrepid woman-hater starts off by contrasting his brand of misogyny to the peculiar kind of woman-appreciation advocated by the PUA gasbag now known as Heartiste (but still known as Roissy when this post was written):

Roissy is fond of saying that he’s not a “misogynist”; no, learning the unvarnished truth about female psychology has given him a *higher* appreciation for women. Not so for me. Sociosexual philosophy has disillusioned me beyond all reckoning. Peering deep into the psyche of woman has rendered me grievously scornful in feeling and mercilessly unscrupulous in behaviour towards these unholy, ungodly beings. I venture to say that… I hate them. Yes, I hate them! And how could I not?

Did I mention that he has literary pretensions as well? Like a lot of reactionaries, Mr. Jawbone has adopted a melodramatic, vaguely archaic prose style that he evidently feels is the height of literary sophistication, but which sounds a lot more like the monologuing of some cartoon villain.

Oh, the vile criteria by which women judge menfolk! O, abominable, loathsome beings!

Is anyone else reminded of Newman from Seinfeld?

But Mr. Jawbone is just getting started:

A creature so damnably constituted as to admire a man for his “social dominance” – by which is meant his ability to waltz through an absurd series of meaningless, contrived riddles – rather than his work ethic, his self-sacrifice, his affability, his charity, his honesty, his justice – in short, his righteousness and integrity; such a creature deserves to be used and abused like a cheap street harlot – or better yet, a vermin-ridden ass – and discarded appropriately. Nothing more; she merits nothing better.

Here’s an actual vermin-ridden ass, having a nice scratch in the dirt:

donkey-lying-down-1-655x373

Oh, but Mr. Jawbone isn’t done yet:

Words like “honour”, “duty”, “kindness”… those things that define goodness and rightness… all meaningless, meaningless to this wretched, wicked half of the human race. And do women who profess belief in something “higher”; women who should know better, afford any solace? No. Instead they show themselves as fraudulent, fickle hellcats who think good men are “weak”. So alas, I can no longer view the distaff horde with anything besides revulsion and contempt. They perjure themselves by their own words; they are beasts, deserving nothing but callous treatment and damnation; and I can wish nothing upon them but furious hatred, ignominy and a miserable passing.

What a cheery fellow!

I take no joy in penning the above – but I feel clean and spotless as the lamb. What else is to be said for a lot that believes black to be white, up to be down, and good men to be worthless? Poor Ashley Wilkes, and all good men.

Hate to break it to you, dude, but you’re not actually a good man. You’re a pompous dickbag. Oh, sorry, you’re a base, proud, shallow, beggarly, three-suited, hundred-pound, filthy, worsted-stocking knave!

(Thanks to Shakespeare for that last insult, and to Quackers for pointing me to Mr. Jawbone’s post.)

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Marie
8 years ago

Also, does anyone know if there’s a way to make a youtube video embed part way through? I have a clip in mind that is extremely relevant to Raymond.

Marie
8 years ago

@cassandrasays

I love how you two work as a tag team.

Me and Fade?

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

Yep.

Fade
8 years ago

@ CassandraSays

😀

(Okay, I’m having a hard time thinking of responses. That’s because I feel sick. But that was to show I was happy about your comment.)

Ooh, anyone mind if I launch off into random story time?

*random story time below, read at your own boredom risk*

I went on a bike ride yesterday to see if I could have an option of biking to work (I don’t have work, but I’m applying for jobs) and then I felt mostly okay for the bike ride but afterwards I crashed. Then I went to karate for the first time in forever. Now I am all worn out in the achey, fibromyalgia-y way.

Also, fibromyalgia + tiny bike seat + not used to riding bikes = really, really, sore hipbones.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

Can you get a more padded bike seat? The really narrow ones are painful even for people who don’t have fibro.

Marie
8 years ago

@cassandrasays

Yay 😀

Fade
8 years ago

I’ll probably cough up the money for one if I get a job. If I don’t, I won’t be using it much, anyhow.

katz
8 years ago

Also, does anyone know if there’s a way to make a youtube video embed part way through?

In links you can just add &t=m1s2 to the end (with the appropriate minutes instead of the 1 and the appropriate seconds instead of the 2), but I tried embedding Cruella De Vil that way and it didn’t work.

Marie
8 years ago

@katz

I shall try! Thanks 😀

Kittehserf
8 years ago

“Boston (which as Babylon starts with “B” and ends with “on” and somewhat rhymes with “Sodom”), a depraved city of unrepentant sinners and in desperate need for divine judgment.”

LOL LOL this is Al’s old “Boston wimminz are mean and nasty and will fuck anyone except me!” rant in fancy dress.

Isn’t it strange how so many of our socks trolls come from Boston?

@Marie – seconding what Cassandra said about bikes. I gave up trying to ride them (only learned as an adult) for that reason, it was just too painful for the nether regions.

Kittehserf
8 years ago

Oh, and notice Imperfect Al isn’t even really trying to hide who he is now? The tells are all over the place and the claims and nonsense getting ever more extravagant. The Wiki editor bit was downright Pellish, like Marie said. I think he’s at the “hahahahaha I’m so smart look at me” point he usually reaches after a while. Kind of boring, really, this one was at least interestingly weird to begin with.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

And see, this is a case in which I’m happy to give sympathy to the menz! Because if a bike seat is hurting my bits. I’m guessing it can’t feel too great for someone who has balls either. Though the ones that are super narrow at the front are supposed to be a bit less awful for those who have balls rather than vulva (not having balls I am unable to test this theory).

I’m guessing that the design of bike seats must be optimized for speed, because they certainly aren’t optimized for comfort.

Marie
8 years ago

And…if I do this right, I bring you Raymond!

(if that didn’t work time is 4 min 27 seconds)

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

Like I said earlier, trolly is now deliberately dropping the tells of multiple people/socks (maybe he’s actually the 99%), because apparently that’s hilarious if you’re a stupid little boy with a grudge.

Marie
8 years ago

Nvm it was disabled ::Crying forever::

*hopelessly searches for new video because it’s not often I can try to post this*

Argenti Aertheri
8 years ago

“Now you’ve admitted drinking alcohol, smoking weed, taking MDMA, anything else to confess?”

Aww, precious! Guys, should I confess my oh so sinful pleasures to be judged by our pompous troll? Think he’s just jealous that I’ve had way more fun than he ever will?

Not right now though, right now I’m watcng the end of last week’s Doctor Who and lusting over Ten 🙂

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

Ooh, are we confessing? Add speed, cocaine, threesomes, and I’m sure I’ll think of more later.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

Oh, and there was this weird upper in Thailand but I’m not sure what to call it in English? Most people there just called in “pink and white amphetamine”. And then there’s all the kinky stuff. Is sex more or less sinful if you handcuff the other person first? Does it matter whether or not you use condoms? Inquiring (bored) minds need to know!

Marie
8 years ago

Man, I’m so boring, all I have is trespassing in when I was 12 or 13. XD I have also had, like, half a glass of wine* and I haven’t hit the drinking age yet. Beer too, but one sip and I didn’t come back for it.

*since forever I’ve been leeching sips of my parents, on new years I sweet talked** my dad into giving me half a glass.

**Marie’s sweet talk: please please please please please please yaaaay! Also, he said that it seemed like I was caffeinated when I had it XD

wow, I feel boring XD

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

Eh, you’re young, plenty of time for debauchery later! Unlike socky, who’s spending his prime debauchery years trolling us. He’ll regret that when he’s older.

Fibinachi
Fibinachi
8 years ago

Stick around, we’ll led you into temptation, sin, debauchery, depravity and cats.

Marie
8 years ago

@fibinachi

Yay! That sounds like fun, especially with the cats XD

(Also, I hope I’m making sense, I’m really caffeinated atm)

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

When I was maybe 15 my bestie bought me a badge that said “Lead me not into temptation – I can find it myself”. Socky seems to be a bit directionally challenged, though, so it’s nice that we can help.

Marie
8 years ago

@cassandrasays

That sounds like a nice badge XD

hellkell
hellkell
8 years ago

Ooh, are we confessing? Add speed, cocaine, threesomes, and I’m sure I’ll think of more later.

Add all the rugs, and that sounds about right, from what I can remember.

Better to be a total fucking deviant than a college kid who’s trolling a board devoted to mocking misogyny. Al is just sad.

hellkell
hellkell
8 years ago

^um, drugs, and that’s kind of a hilarious typo, considering.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

It sounded like you were confessing to lots of sex with men who wear bad wigs a la Donald Trump, which was quite funny.

Zanana the Pegging Queen
Zanana the Pegging Queen
8 years ago

ooh, I did it on the roof of an episcopalian cathedral one time! that’s blasphemy, right? can I confess that?
(i’m an ex-catholic, I miss confessing stuff… I’m just never sorry for the fun stuff anymore.)

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

Is fucking in the changing rooms at Selfridges a sin or just trespassing? I mean, you’re allowed to be in there, but I think the fucking part is rather discouraged.

katz
8 years ago

I had yogurt for breakfast.

Perfectus Raymond
Perfectus Raymond
8 years ago

Fade:

I am not a temptation. I am a person.

Maybe, but I recommend to watch “Audition” by Takashi Miike, the ending is a brilliant symbolism about how women are temptations and the physical and spiritual damage this can bring with itself.

Marie:

Go fuck yourself, bub. I used to be a christian girl, and may return to church if I find one not full of homophobic, slut shaming asshats, and I don’t consider promiscuity contradictory to Christianity.

You should consider becoming a credens of Catharism, we are not homophobic.

So, is everyone attracted to women, or is everyone heterosexual and gender binary and women just don’t have sex drives? O teach me your wise ways.

Okay, hypothetically speaking, if you are a woman and you are sexually attracted to men, then (though nearly unthinkable) men are a temptation, too.
Non-heterosexuals = not nearly as sinful, forgivable.
I admit, I was too focused on my own desires, they still trouble me, though thanks to (the true) God, I’m shielded from a lot of temptations because He didn’t give me interest in humanities or social sciences but a talent for mathematics. There are very, very few women and practically no tempting women in 500 level math courses (still I have to tutor introductory courses where the girls are extremely stupid but somewhat hot…).

Kittehserf:

Isn’t it strange how so many of our socks trolls come from Boston?

Actually, to be perfectly honest I’m just from Greater Boston (Cambridge, MA).

Kind of boring, really, this one was at least interestingly weird to begin with.

Blessed are the boring for their small minds are easily filled with faith.

CassandraSays:

Maybe tomorrow I will make rice pudding in his honor. Or get Mr C to buy himself some flan.

Sinful, both of them. At least they don’t contain gelatine like crème bavaroise, so they are less sinful than this dessert from hell.

Argenti Aertheri:

Think he’s just jealous that I’ve had way more fun than he ever will?

I’m not jealous, I am an instrument of His will and have to stay pure.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

My religion states very clearly that trolling is a sin. How will we resolve this conflict of faiths?

Fade
8 years ago

Maybe, but I recommend to watch “Audition” by Takashi Miike, the ending is a brilliant symbolism about how women are temptations and the physical and spiritual damage this can bring with itself.

Why would I want to watch a movie filled with misogynistic propaganda

And “maybe”? maybe I’m a person.

Fuck you, man.

You should consider becoming a credens of Catharism, we are not homophobic.

Just unbearable sexist, am I right?

katz
8 years ago

Maybe, but I recommend to watch “Audition” by Takashi Miike, the ending is a brilliant symbolism about how women are temptations and the physical and spiritual damage this can bring with itself.

Is it as good as The Matrix Reloaded?

Actually, to be perfectly honest I’m just from Greater Boston (Cambridge, MA).

The location of Boston University. Dude, you’re not even trying anymore. Just go ahead and start snivelling about how it’s so unfair and you just wanted to start with a clean slate and women spit on you and you once saw a bra in the laundry.

hellkell
hellkell
8 years ago

Is fucking in a DJ booth a sin? Sex, drugs, and rock-n-roll in tiny quarters.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

It depends. Was the club playing dubstep? If so and you didn’t pause for a moment to change the record, that’s a sin.

Marie
8 years ago

@pompous raymond

Maybe, but I recommend to watch “Audition” by Takashi Miike, the ending is a brilliant symbolism about how women are temptations and the physical and spiritual damage this can bring with itself

wow maybe she’s a person. Go hug a cactus.

You should consider becoming a credens of Catharism, we are not homophobic.

If you’re any representation, you’re bigots in other nasty ways.

Okay, hypothetically speaking, if you are a woman and you are sexually attracted to men, then (though nearly unthinkable) men are a temptation, too.
Non-heterosexuals = not nearly as sinful, forgivable.

Ah, so you were just speaking as if everyone was a heterosexual man for some unfathomable reason. (men = default + heterosexism + you being too ignorant to recognize either).

Is non hetero sexual sex less sinful because we’re subhuman? Or because it’s less likley to result in babies (because not all women have vaginas!) If I (a cis girl) have sex with a trans* woman, does that make it as sinful as heterosexual sex?

(still I have to tutor introductory courses where the girls are extremely stupid but somewhat hot…).

I see girls are bad at math again. I should tell my dad’s fiance, who enjoys it, or my mom, who’s had to learn a lot, being a scientist.

My religion states very clearly that trolling is a sin. How will we resolve this conflict of faiths?

::perfect comment:: XD

Kittehserf
8 years ago

@hellkell, I had visions of someone having threesomes on a heap of expensive Persian rugs then, and wondered if this was a reference I’d missed! 😀

Sounds rather fun though …

RUGS OF DEBAUCHERY

Come to think of it, Mr and I have a fur rug that’s seen a bit of debauchery, at least when it’s not covered in zzzzzzzzing cats and dogs.

“Blessed are the boring for their small minds are easily filled with faith.”

Hey, Al’s not a Cathar after all, he’s a follower of the Boring Prophet!

Fibinachi
Fibinachi
8 years ago

Didn’t like my rhymes much, I guess. Aww. And here I beg for an audience to fill the void in my heart.

hellkell
hellkell
8 years ago

Cassandra; It was a punk/New Wave type place. “Rock Lobster” is plenty long enough.

cloudiah
8 years ago

hellkell, I think I am now required by statute to quote the “in a giant clam” part of the lyrics. XD

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

Every time the 90% turns up I get the urge to start twisting Green Eggs and Ham to indicate our feelings towards him.

Perfectus Raymond
Perfectus Raymond
8 years ago

CassandraSays:

My religion states very clearly that trolling is a sin. How will we resolve this conflict of faiths?

I would consider it a sin in my religion, too. I would suggest, we do the usual: Cleanse! Purge! Kill!
There are a lot of prominent reallife trolls: Larry Summers, Eric S. Raymond (not me), James Watson, Michel Houellebecq, Steve Landsberg, lets start with those!

Marie:

I see girls are bad at math again. I should tell my dad’s fiance, who enjoys it, or my mom, who’s had to learn a lot, being a scientist.

There are always weird exceptions, in general they are bad at math. Also for girls the proverbial “bad at math good at coding” is wrong, too: try to teach them C, they don’t get it, e. g. pointers, method prototypes… omg!

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

Nah, I’d prefer to start with you. How does one cleanse a blog of a persistent troll infestation? So far we’ve tried scorn, banning, sarcasm, and ignoring the pitter patter of disgusting little feet. Would those little Raid-filled traps you can put out for roaches work?

hellkell
hellkell
8 years ago

Al, give it up. You’ve been told over and over again how you aren’t wanted here, yet you persist, and now it’s elaborate fantasy religion based on the Matrix. You are pathetic.

cloudiah: LOL.

Kittehserf
8 years ago

You’re slipping, Al. Going off on a “girls are bad at math” tangent isn’t very Pure and Faithful, it’s just bog-standard Mr Al projection. (Could it be that you’re not that good a tutor? I imagine your attitude toward women would be a huge stumbling block to effective communication, especially given you have trouble seeing us as human beings.)

hellkell
hellkell
8 years ago

I wish there was a Valtrex for blogular herpes.

Shiraz
Shiraz
8 years ago

Do you teach women coding often, troll? “Weird exceptions?” Whew! What a dick.