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Pompous Misogyny on Parade, Part Eleventy Million Billion

But of course! She's a she.
But of course! She’s a she.

Most misogynists, it would seem, are loath to admit that they’re misogynists. “How can you say I hate women?” they’ll ask. “After all, I love my sister. She’s not like the rest of those whores.” Or, “I just hate Western Women.” Or whatever fine distinction they like to make to pretend that their hatred of pretty much every woman they ever come across, or imagine in their overheated little brains, is something other than misogyny.

Then there are those who not only admit their misogyny but who are downright proud of it, thinking it’s a sign of their own personal superiority. Today, a pretty good example of Proud Misogyny, taken from the reactionary Christian blog Samson’s Jawbone.

Our intrepid woman-hater starts off by contrasting his brand of misogyny to the peculiar kind of woman-appreciation advocated by the PUA gasbag now known as Heartiste (but still known as Roissy when this post was written):

Roissy is fond of saying that he’s not a “misogynist”; no, learning the unvarnished truth about female psychology has given him a *higher* appreciation for women. Not so for me. Sociosexual philosophy has disillusioned me beyond all reckoning. Peering deep into the psyche of woman has rendered me grievously scornful in feeling and mercilessly unscrupulous in behaviour towards these unholy, ungodly beings. I venture to say that… I hate them. Yes, I hate them! And how could I not?

Did I mention that he has literary pretensions as well? Like a lot of reactionaries, Mr. Jawbone has adopted a melodramatic, vaguely archaic prose style that he evidently feels is the height of literary sophistication, but which sounds a lot more like the monologuing of some cartoon villain.

Oh, the vile criteria by which women judge menfolk! O, abominable, loathsome beings!

Is anyone else reminded of Newman from Seinfeld?

But Mr. Jawbone is just getting started:

A creature so damnably constituted as to admire a man for his “social dominance” – by which is meant his ability to waltz through an absurd series of meaningless, contrived riddles – rather than his work ethic, his self-sacrifice, his affability, his charity, his honesty, his justice – in short, his righteousness and integrity; such a creature deserves to be used and abused like a cheap street harlot – or better yet, a vermin-ridden ass – and discarded appropriately. Nothing more; she merits nothing better.

Here’s an actual vermin-ridden ass, having a nice scratch in the dirt:

donkey-lying-down-1-655x373

Oh, but Mr. Jawbone isn’t done yet:

Words like “honour”, “duty”, “kindness”… those things that define goodness and rightness… all meaningless, meaningless to this wretched, wicked half of the human race. And do women who profess belief in something “higher”; women who should know better, afford any solace? No. Instead they show themselves as fraudulent, fickle hellcats who think good men are “weak”. So alas, I can no longer view the distaff horde with anything besides revulsion and contempt. They perjure themselves by their own words; they are beasts, deserving nothing but callous treatment and damnation; and I can wish nothing upon them but furious hatred, ignominy and a miserable passing.

What a cheery fellow!

I take no joy in penning the above – but I feel clean and spotless as the lamb. What else is to be said for a lot that believes black to be white, up to be down, and good men to be worthless? Poor Ashley Wilkes, and all good men.

Hate to break it to you, dude, but you’re not actually a good man. You’re a pompous dickbag. Oh, sorry, you’re a base, proud, shallow, beggarly, three-suited, hundred-pound, filthy, worsted-stocking knave!

(Thanks to Shakespeare for that last insult, and to Quackers for pointing me to Mr. Jawbone’s post.)

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howardbann1ster
8 years ago

“callous treatment” “abuse”…

Wow, these guys…

Howard Bannister
8 years ago

But they’re not a hate movement!!!!!111!11!!1!!eleventy!!!

cloudiah
8 years ago

That is a cute ass. What? It IS a cute ass.

gelar
gelar
8 years ago

his self-sacrifice, his affability, his charity, his honesty, his justice lettuce

Things I Misread, part XIXVVOMGWTF

katz
8 years ago

Am I the only one who was expecting him at any moment to start going “I want to take the ears off, but I can’t?”

gelar
gelar
8 years ago

… There was supposed to be a strikeout in there!

princessbonbon
8 years ago

Wow, his nom de plume is apt considering his endless jawing.
He also is no different than misogynists of yore who said the same blatantly inaccurate twiddle twaddle centuries ago.

princessbonbon
8 years ago

That is a cute ass. What? It IS a cute ass.

A cheeky looking ass to be sure. 🙂

titianblue
titianblue
8 years ago

Justice Lettuce is the name of the lead character in the murder mystery novel I’m planning*

*not really

TomBcat
8 years ago

He also is no different than misogynists of yore who said the same blatantly inaccurate twiddle twaddle centuries ago.

How true!
I’m reading a book from the late 1800s right now, and the part I’m at is mostly mocking the misogyny of the century (about how a woman can never truly love like a man!)

carswell
carswell
8 years ago

Fickle hellcats, the distaff horde… shat a pretentious and self righteous prig.

carswell
carswell
8 years ago

Ooops. ^^ That was supposed to be “what a pretentious and self righteous prig”.

TomBcat
8 years ago

He talks out of his ass, so it fits anyway…

Karalora
Karalora
8 years ago

I’ve noticed something. Whenever an MRA complains about what terrible taste in men women have, and how we are attracted to all the wrong traits and disdain “good” men, what he really means is “How come all the women I want don’t want me?”

Lady Stark
Lady Stark
8 years ago

You had me at “distaff horde.”

lightcastle
lightcastle
8 years ago

I am rather fond of the word “distaff” though. Just because.

lightcastle
lightcastle
8 years ago

@Karalora

what he really means is “How come all the women I want don’t want me?”

– Bingo.

LBT
LBT
8 years ago

Meller? Is that you? Get off that cross, we need the wood!

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Given that “Samson’s jawbone” was the jawbone of an ass, his nym seems appropriate. Not that he’s exactly slaying his enemies, unless “dies laughing” counts.

Zach
8 years ago

Wow… absolutely horrible.

These guys don’t realize the reason they don’t love women is the reason WHY they have no success with women.

Their hate is just reflected by at them, further perpetuating this self-fulfilling prophecy.

Just love women, be real, be kind, and you’ll have all the success you could ever want.

Kristine
Kristine
8 years ago

Cloudiah wins the pun award!

Fade
8 years ago

I’m reading a book from the late 1800s right now, and the part I’m at is mostly mocking the misogyny of the century (about how a woman can never truly love like a man!)

That reminds me of all the guys who are like “no, you don’t know what it’s LIKE to have such a HIGH SEX DRIVE”

Different shtick, but same idea: men are super special, feel things stronger* than women, blah blah blah

*These stronger feelings being boners or morals or both.

thebewilderness
8 years ago

Notes from my boner, iteration nine kazillion and three.
They vary in style but the substance remains the same.

Mattir
Mattir
8 years ago

Worsted stocking knave? I’m a spinner and a knitter. You had better make your socks with worsted spun yarn – if you make them with woolen spun yarn you’re gonna have holes within 3 wearings.

/SIWOTI mode

princessbonbon
8 years ago

I’m reading a book from the late 1800s right now, and the part I’m at is mostly mocking the misogyny of the century (about how a woman can never truly love like a man!)

The misogynist I am reading about stated “Love I am firmly convinc’d is the Effect of Prejudice & Imagination; a rational Mind is incapable of it, at least to any great Degree.”

Ah pomposity, keeping jackasses going forever and ever and ever…

Marie
8 years ago

@fade

yeah, and I’m mostly tempted to respond ‘well you aren’t a women, so you can’t say how women’s sex drives are’ Any time someone makes a ‘all men/women are x/ so different’ I want them to step on a lego.

Mattir
Mattir
8 years ago

Also, a distaff is just a gizmo for holding fiber so you can spin it. Quite useful. I’ve never quite figured out how that became synonymous with “girly stuff,” as opposed to other female-gendered-tools like spindles or needles or large wooden spoons…

TomBcat
8 years ago

@Fade
Well, they are also still claiming that women aren’t capable of real feelings(while at the same time being too emotional), so whatever it is about, we either don’t know what it’s like, don’t have enough of it or too much of it.
more than 200 years, and there’s still no pleasing guys like these.
Whelp, lucky for them, sex bots are only illegal in Canada!

thebewilderness
8 years ago

The distaff was a symbol of female authority in an English household. I am guessing that it had to do with who decided the flax was ready to spin.

deezers
8 years ago

It’s so turgid I think it’s made me constipated

The Purple Star
The Purple Star
8 years ago

I asked my gf is she is a feminist and her response was: “Not at all, I hate most women.” I pointed out that she is a woman and she snapped back with “most doesn’t mean all, you douchebag!”. ‘Nuff said.

Fibinachi
Fibinachi
8 years ago

Ah, but you see, it involves a keen balancing act of the most astute of logic, nay, most sheer adroit focus of intelligence to uncover. To wit, bear witness:

If we assume that all womenfolk are emotional hellcats, then it follows that they are:
1) emotional
2) hellcats.

I repeat myself, says you, my most patient audience? Ah! But the repetitions the thing that’ll unmask the core o’ it all: FORSOOTH, see this is the magic of the moment!

Hellcats are felines most frightful from the frigid, festering foul vaguely Fallopian depths of hell. Hence the prefix. And beings from Hell are per definition creatures of endless guile, bad manners and lies. Lies, says I? Yes! Lies, my complete rational followers.

So if females are hellcats, and they are emotional, they must be able to only feel fake emotions! Have I blown your minds? I have indeed proven the noble adage that no woman can feel any real emotion despite being emotional! I am a true wunderkind of doublethink. My cognitive dissonances reaches astounding heights, astronomical heights, heights undreamed of by mere philosophers, lofty and airy structures of Thinking only reachable by the rigorous application of Inverse Logic. Logic that bears no relation to the muckracking, dirt bound aspirations of common sense. Pfah. Common sense is just another Feminist ideal, and we all know where they get those! Quantum mehanics. Female intuition. Nay, brothers! Onwards! Let’s Logic ourselves way, way out of the stratosphere.

Don’t think I quite have the style down.

The Purple Star
The Purple Star
8 years ago

Wow… absolutely horrible.

These guys don’t realize the reason they don’t love women is the reason WHY they have no success with women.

Their hate is just reflected by at them, further perpetuating this self-fulfilling prophecy.

Just love women, be real, be kind, and you’ll have all the success you could ever want.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Yer funny, zach. But not that funny. Just because love is transitive does not imply that it is symmetric. That is, loving someone else does not guarantee nor obligate them to love you back. If you want to be successful in terms of romance & sex, you have to be attractive to others. And unfortunately, espousing love to those you desire is just not enough to make them feel the same way. I realize people hear are going to chew me out for this because it’s not very romantic sounding, but it’s true. If you love women as a group that’s certainly sweet of you, but it irks me how you try to lie to yourself and to others that by doing so you’re going to get something from any of them for it. This is exactly the mistaken thinking that so-called “nice guys” make.

clairedammit
clairedammit
8 years ago

Poor Ashley Wilkes, and all good men.

Jawboner thinks Gone With the Wind was a documentary.

These guys don’t realize the reason they don’t love women is the reason WHY they have no success with women.

Their hate is just reflected by at them, further perpetuating this self-fulfilling prophecy.

Just love women, be real, be kind, and you’ll have all the success you could ever want.

But Zach, that would mean thinking that women are people.

deezers
8 years ago

It’s a bit like if Joaquin Phoenix’s character in Gladiator got really really drunk, and then someone asked him about his sister and set him off.

LBT
LBT
8 years ago

I get really pissed about the sex drive one.

I’m trans, okay? Even if you’re a strict biological literalist, I’ve been on testosterone and had the hormonal levels of a cis man. Did it change how I experienced sexual desire? Yes. But it was SO not uncontrollable, and it was SO not an excuse for bad behavior. (I was afraid of T for a long time because I kept hearing stories about trans men suddenly understanding how one could rape. What a relief it was to discover that it was completely untrue, at least for me!)

But I guess because I wasn’t born with the damn thing, that means I don’t count.

LBT
LBT
8 years ago

RE: Purple Star

My god, for like, most of that paragraph, I actually agreed with what you were saying. You were sooooo close, and then–

it irks me how you try to lie to yourself and to others that by doing so you’re going to get something from any of them for it.

Nah, dude. I love someone to love someone. Loving someone on its own feels good. I don’t do it in the expectation of getting something out of the deal! I love humanity, because… humanity is lovable. I don’t expect them to love me back.

Lady Stark
Lady Stark
8 years ago

And the Purple Star has demonstrated that he has managed to find a woman as thick headed as he is.

***Applause***

Fibinachi
Fibinachi
8 years ago

@The Purple Star:
Actually, I doubt anyone here really has much to chew you out for for stating that expecting people to love you back just because you love them is generally not a good idea.

Pretty much a given. Yep. Sort of a fairly normal statement. Emotional manipulation does not engender love. Can’t find much there to chew on. I agree with you.

Of course, everyone knows Zach there hardly meant love as in literally stating your adoration 3 seconds after meeting someone. In fact, Zach was probably aiming for the more nebulous concept of not regarding sex and romance as an arithmetic contest between variables of behavior and hierarchies of attraction. In fact, I’d take it so far to assume that Zach probably meant that loving women as a group would imply that you don’t, oh, I don’t know, random example, expect them to be stimulus response units set up to react to certain triggers in relation to your activities. As if, hmhm, doing anything else was some kind of lie one told one self to… live with a callous reality wherein people were merely responders, instead of inherent lovable beings in and of themselves.

So we agree! Awesome.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Lady Stark – find, or imagine? 😉

Fibinachi
Fibinachi
8 years ago

LBT:

That sounds utterly horrifying (to be told). Must have been a terrifying unknown to imagine. Thing is, it’s probably the flipside – people who were the kind of people who would rape someone suddenly have an excuse. Oh! It was my much higher T levels and the treatment.
Totally.
Honest, swear-to, Officer.
Oh, you’d do the same thing if you felt what I was feeling!

Bees. My god.

Antimony
Antimony
8 years ago

(Hello, first time commenter, long-time reader!)
I actually wasn’t sure whether Purple Star was a troll or not, since most of zir second comment was totally accurate. But yeah, just because your girlfriend said that, doesn’t mean all women are going to agree. We’re all, you know, DIFFERENT PEOPLE.

TomBcat
8 years ago

The Purple Puncher is back!
I’ve learned so much from him!
1)his girlfriend knows most women
2)Disliking someone is enough reason to deny them equal rights
3)specialest snowflakes! Because hating your own gender means you’re different from those bitches!

Kristine
Kristine
8 years ago

Fibinachi… are you a fellow Linkara fan?

If not, you should be.

Shaenon
8 years ago

But…Scarlett was crazy about Ashley Wilkes. He’s the one who rejected her, rebuffing her advances to marry Melanie. In fact, he’s pretty popular with the ladies in general, so I’m not sure how he’s an example of women treating good men badly.

(Not that I think Ashley is a particularly good man, since he’s also super racist, but so is everyone else in Gone With the Wind.)

LBT
LBT
8 years ago

RE: Fibinachi

It was a pretty scary thing. Even now, I still sometimes wonder if maybe the only reason I didn’t get it was that I wasn’t a real man. *shudder* Thankfully, those thoughts pass briefly.

I feel bad about it, but I don’t want to understand how someone could rape another on anything but an intellectual level.

Maudell
Maudell
8 years ago

@Karalora
I think they actually mean “how come this very specific subset of women I fancy who have nothing in common with me don’t want me? Boohoo, how unfair!” Women=2% of women between 14 and 22 (though to some, 22 year olds are clearly old hags for their stunning 45 year old body.
Women are superficial, you see?

katz
8 years ago

I’ve never seen a purple star, I never hope to see one, but I can tell you anyhar I’d rather see than be one.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

See, lonely single guys? There really is a perfect match for everyone. Look how The Purple Star has managed to find someone as abrasively unpleasant as he is.

TomBcat
8 years ago

@LBT
Just wondering (read as: I have no fucking idea what I’m talking about), one trans woman told me she did experience a heightened sex drive with hormones, so I always assumed it had more to do with psychological aspects, being more comfortable with oneself(yeah, because of one woman, but what she said made me happy so I chose to stick with confirmation bias I guess). Haven’t really looked into it. Don’t know how to phrase my question, any comments? Or reading tips, this interests me a lot.

But I can imagine it was hard, the thought that your hormones might change your nature that much sounds really scary…

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