Happy Easter, or what remains of it, for those who celebrate it! (And happy Deep Discounts on Peeps Day to all who celebrate that tomorrow.)
There’s an interesting, er, theological discussion about the meaning of Easter over on The Spearhead. In a short post, WF Price argues that the uppity ladies of today could learn a thing or two from Mary Magdalene:
One of my favorite subtexts of the Easter story is the devotion of Mary Magdalene, who kept a vigil at her Lord’s tomb, and thereby became the first witness to the Resurrection.
I don’t see it as a specifically Christian message, but rather a universal one: the woman, regardless of her background or past, can attain holiness through selfless love and devotion. I hope some day that our own errant women can follow Mary Magdalene’s example.
A nonbeliever with the clever handle fakeemail isn’t convinced:
Once a whore always a whore.
I have no interest for a whore who “saw the light” aka a 30 year old cock-carouseler who is out of options. I want the young woman who was smart enough to never be a whore in the first place.
Evidently MRAs never take a holiday from being dicks.
@daintydougal
Also a little late, but don’t feel bad. No ones annoyed, and this is a safe space of sorts, and your not stupid.People were really nice but you felt rejected and I think I get that especially since I was panicking after every third post I did for the last few days.
Also Marie’s right, it’s best to take a few steps back, think about what you want and then try again. Or maybe first post on topic to get a feeling for your environment. Both helped me to regain normalcy.
@ katz
There’s also the fact that “cis” doesn’t mean “gender conforming”, at least not in the way most people would use the latter phrase. A woman who’s butch is still cis, if she identifies as such. Actually I think that might be behind some (definitely not all) of the radfem pushback against the terms cis and trans, that some of them feel like butch women are being re-identified as trans without their consent*. Which is a misunderstanding of how the whole thing works, and based on the idea that gender nonconforming in the sense of clothes and hairstyles and so in is the same thing as trans, so maybe that’s what’s going on with the person who wrote that post? In any case, it’s not a helpful article at all for anyone trying to figure out how the terms work.
* Had a long conversation with a radfem who identifies as butch about all of this a few years ago.
On labels in general, I agree with what everyone else has already said, but there’s also an even simpler reason why they’re OK – people are allowed to identify themselves in whatever way feels right to them. Now obviously most people will put some limits on that (the term “trans-racial”, typically used to mean “I’m a white person but I just feel black/Japanese/first nations, man” gets justifiable pushback that trans and cis generally don’t), but in general it’s a good principle and kind of key to a lot of social justice movements. So if someone says “I’m trans”, why don’t you want to let them do that?
People get to choose the labels they use to identify themselves, basically. If most of the people in a given group like a particular label, that’s the label that everyone else should use, because the people whose opinions count most have decided how the group are going to be labelled.
Or maybe this was condescending…but to me it just sooo much sounded like I felt the last days(especially yesterday)
@cassandrasays
Wow, I missed the obvious one XD *feels silly*
I can see how this could get confusing in that there’s a level on which we’re arguing about what gender is, which can be a pretty complicated conversation. I just don’t think that has all that much to do with how the terms cis and trans are typically used, though. The way most people seem to use cis and trans is, do your various bits and pieces (primary and secondary sexual characteristics, to be technical about it) match what people generally expect to see when they hear “man” or “woman”, and does that match the way you think of your own body? On a basic level, do the bits you have feel “right” to you? Then you’re cis. If not, you’re probably somewhere on the trans spectrum. But if that doesn’t feel quite right to you either then you don’t have to call yourself trans, because people are allowed to self-identify. It’s descriptive, not proscriptive.
Throwing stuff like whether or not you have an assertive personality in there seems really weird in that I just don’t think that has anything to do with how most people use the terms.
Hi all. Very late to this thread, sorry. My partner is trans (MTF). It is very hard to explain the grey areas to anyone and Doctor knows we never would presume that our experiences are the same as anyone elses. She identifies as a kick-ass something else that rocks my world and makes me weak at the knees but we really do need more of an understanding of the squiggly lines that make us all up. Straight lines make cats unhappy. And none of us want sad kitties.
The article quoted by katz just makes me feel like the writer doesn’t like that she can’t separate all the groups cleanly and assign each their own problems. So she wants one group. Oversight…
Somehow it also makes me feel like people don’t get the meaning of privilege, but I have no idea where that thought’s coming from.
People often don’t realise their privilege until it’s pointed out to them.
*Shuffles back looking sheepish*
Thank you. IRL I have difficulty communicating so I sort of save everything up getting more and more worked up then vomit words over people and get surprised when said people attempt to respond to the nonsense that came out of my mouth instead what was in my head (anyone else sometimes assume people can read your thoughts? No?) Who’d a thunk I’d do the exact same thing not IRL.
In terms of my original ‘point’ (har har) I just want to clear up that I agree with everything that has been said and I can see how it came across as ‘I demand you explain to me…’ well, whatever. I think I was just all spun out from those articles and…I don’t know, wanted something. It was selfish and every time I do things like this I promise myself I’ll never get involved in things again but inevitably do. Thank you again.
TL:DR: I’m a silly bean. Have a small dog biting a bigger dogs ear
Yeah, but…you know. They get mad at the term because they don’t get why it’s privilege. They say things like:”These aren’t privileges, they are human rights that are denied to some!” Well, if they were human rights, they wouldn’t be denied, as long they are not, they are privileges, because rights can’t be assigned by default or be taken away.
Ah, yes! I know where it came from!
Because of the assumption that we want to take away the privileges of others, when we actually want to turn them into rights.
And the most common reaction to having privilege pointed out?
“Fuck you, I had to work hard to get where I am!”
That was mine, and I’ve seen it over and over and over again.
Which, yes, well, I did have to work pretty hard. It’s true. But, of course, I had to work harder than some because of lack of privilege along some axes, and there are tons of people with less privilege who probably couldn’t have gotten nearly as far as I did. And I was also given some boosts by a privilege-busting inclusive college grant program that was designed to give everybody a hand up.
But that’s privilege for you. It’s blinding.
@daintydougal
All is fine 🙂 It’s a cute puppy. And, I don’t remember if I gave you an official welcome, so I’ll just repeat. Welcome from over here 😀 Other people know what’s in the package, but sadly I do not, so just know it has cute penguins XD
@tomBcat
well, they *should* be human rights. (I’m not disagreeing, just rambling on your points XD)
@ daintydougal
Glad you’re back! Also welcome! Someone will probably come and give you scented fucking candles with matching bath towels and stuff!
ninja’d!
*explodes from cuteness*
On that note, my family (with our dog) is about to move into my dad’s fiancee’s house (with her dog), and I am curious how they will get along. Hopefully just as cutely, but I would be completely satisfied with they don’t hate each other and even maybe like each other.
/could go on about dogs forever.
This reminds me of how I used to communicate. I still do it a little on the internet, but it was super stressful for me earlier.
Heck, even now whenever I say something I think can be taken wrong I refresh the page every second under the impression that will make people respond faster, and therefore I’ll find out whether I said something wrong or not. XD
Though I think my problem is over explaining, because I worry everything will not be taken the right way, not under explaining, like thinking people can read your thoughts.
on a completely unrelated note (just to blabber): I’m technically on spring break, but due to my depression flaring up, I got a whopping 42* classes being in school, so I know what my weeks going to be dedicated to…
*I think it’s a week and a half, but I’m not sure.
@Howard Bannister Yes, anger, denial, all out aggression. That is almost universal when it is pointed out to those who never, ever thought about it before. Privilege is almost invisible, people choosing to be blind.
QF-I-So-Do-That-Too
@daintydougal I hope you are Irish! Love the doggies. *Dies*
Ok, back, sorry about that but fish emergencies are emergencies (technically a planted tank emergency, but point stands)
“‘Howard: (I love the phrase lived life, and I don’t care how redundantly redundant it is)’
I don’t think it’s redundant at all. It’s compressive, it’s poetic, but it’s spot on for explanatory power.
It’s way to say, “personal experience” without universalising it to “everyone’s personal experience”.”
Yeah, that.
“hear “man” or “woman”, and does that match the way you think of your own body? On a basic level, do the bits you have feel “right” to you? Then you’re cis. If not, you’re probably somewhere on the trans spectrum. But if that doesn’t feel quite right to you either then you don’t have to call yourself trans, because people are allowed to self-identify. It’s descriptive, not proscriptive.”
Cassandra, would it be appropriate to offer you cookies for that? Because you said that much better than my flailing about non-cis did.
Marie — yes I enjoy fish stores, but this was an in-and-out trip. Get to set up a new light once I finish eating and make coffee, should be fun (not sarcasm, I need one my spotlight and my planted tank will be all set up 🙂 )
Still catching up, please bear with me.
Is it being an errant woman to repeatedly refresh the page? I’m such an errant woman.
I just figured out that Argenti did not intend to eat the fish…
I’m an errant woman, too!
I forget, what’s errant woman a reference to?/bad memory
@bagelsan
I am rather errant too 😉 Curse my boredom.
nvm, I scrolled up. Now I know what it is. :blushes:
I had leftover hot cross buns for breakfast. Definitely an errant woman, considering that I didn’t even make them myself.