Here’s your Quote of the Day from the Men’s Rights subreddit. Well, not so much of THIS day as of a day four months ago, but, hey, I only discovered it today with the assistance of the AgainstMensRights subreddit. Bonus points if you can tell me what the hell a “public organ-orifice” is and/or how an AVALANCHE can “blare.”
Quite and excellent comment indeed!
And onward marches the World’s Greatest Guaranteed Top Quality Human Man Rights Man-Movement of the Twenty-First Century!
katz: Sounds rather like a Governments Get Girlfriends sock to me. And can someone explain the dessert thing?
He said he was all sorts of super cook because he can make Bavarian Cream. Other desserts (of a more difficult nature) were presented.
I suppose I could have talked about making a veloute, or rendering an honest to goodness demi-glace, or cooking on the fly inside the limits of no nightshades, no garlic, no fruit, and kosher, but that seemed a bit over the top: Yeah, I do it all the time, but I’ve had a few years to adapt to it.
@precunium- singing in Hebrew only works, I think, for people who have some familiarity with the language. Trying to explain the gutterals to my high school choir-mates was pretty well an exercise in banging my head against a wall.
Freemage: “French vanilla”. Still vanilla (using the more positive version I stuck up earlier on the thread), but starting to experiment a bit, and something that a lot of folks would prefer to ‘regular’ vanilla.
I have more of a problem with that formulation, actually. The cultural assumption is that “French Vanilla” is more sophisticated, and has “real flavor”.
Marie: The only difference between Vanilla and French Vanilla is that in French Vanilla has the seeds added to the custard base. Usually it’s a bit richer, but that’s not the distinguishing characteristic.
Oddly enough ice cream brands which use too much of the real thing (Haagen Daz, for one) tend to be less well liked, because they taste, “boozy”, and using the wrong vanilla (Tahitian when one is using heat, or Mexican when one is working with cold flavors/have no counterpoint) can ruin things, even though one has good ingredients.
Wow, so I have a lot or catching up to do. Awesome partially unintentional derail with help from troll who is not worth responding to.
I loved the discussion on phrasing and naming for kink and vanilla communities. I haven’t seen or thought of better terms, so the problematic words have stuck.
I also dislike a lot of the heteronormativity I find in kink communities. In fact, I find it is even stronger at times. Other times, the kink community very welcoming to transgender folks and sees them as capable of being desirable. I find that so rarely.
TMI for rest of post
I identify as a Top because of how problematic I find the Domly Dom terminology and culture. Part of that carries through in how protective our local scene is. Most tops are white, male, straight, and cis and perceived as a threatening figure upon introduction. They need to prove their knowledge and boundary respect. I both dislike this and see it as valuable to the typically female, white, s-types. Some of this is internalized paternalism no doubt, but it is also pragmatic.
No matter how deeply I think about these issues they get deeper and more interesting and troubling and freeing. I suppose like all good philosophical journeys, I gain confidence in both my abilities and my ignorance the more I consider and read.
Sorry, for being long-winded
Something smells fictional.
and he calls me right now 00 fuuuuck.
Kitteh’s: I can’t speak to all, but the hunter-gatherer societies I know (San and Kung, as well as California Indians (Ohlone, Chumash) have/had very segregated roles for men and women.
What they don’t/didn’t do is say that one groups contributions were more valuable than the others. In fact the Kung mock/insult those who bring in large amounts of meat, lest they think they are “better” than anyone else. It’s a sort of militant egalitarianism.
“Domly Dom”
::dies::
@tomBcat
Oh blah. 🙁 Internet hugs if wanted.
@optimum4themasses- Yeah I wonder about that. There was a blogger a while ago (can’t remember the site) who was a female top talking about how, in her experience of kink, the doms were portrayed as either white cis dudes (catering to the male gaze) or as female pros who were catering to the male sub’s fantasy (catering to the male gaze).
This is part of the reason that I prefer not to hang out in the official kink community, and prefer just to talk with my kinky friends about this stuff. (that and worries about my future career)
Also @ TomBCat- I am sending you all the love and support!
Apologies for my panic post.
Here, have a random act of cuteness:
http://sweetgrace.typepad.com/.a/6a00e553deebaf88340133f2fed143970b-450wi
Pecunium – I shouldn’t have generalised, but it’s not one-size-fits-all and that’s interesting that even when it is sexual division of labour, the attitudes are nothing like those the MRAs would attribute to all teh humanz evah.
I’m going to have to hunt down the links, but there was a good article reached (through ElodieUnderGlass, I think) that talked about various hunter-gatherer societies where the labour is very evenly divided – IIRC there is one group in Africa where they won’t go hunting if no women are free to do so, because they are seen as highly skilled. Not sure if that implies “more than the men” but it totally contradicts the MRM … as usual. 😛
There was also a lovely bit in the same article about how one Native American tribe put value on beautifully groomed hair – but the thing was, the men were the ones doing the women’s hair. A particular man was seen as an excellent provider and husband because his wife’s hair was always gleaming and immaculate. This man was also (again iirc) a formidable warrior and hunter. Can you imagine the reaction if MRAs were told it was manly and respectable to be doing a woman’s hair? Their little heads would explode.
@TomBCat- No apologies. This is a place where you are permitted to have a moment of panic and we will not judge you.
No apologies needed, TomBcat!
Is that your bunny hiding under all those furs?
Okay, but what the hell is this bit about?
Why is he deciding who gets dessert? Where did that come from?
Perhaps he’s confused getting desserts with someone getting their just deserts – I bet trollyboyfail would love to see all those nasty schoolmates and hairy women get theirs for enslaving him.
Cassandra: Does anyone have a good alternative to “vanilla”? I don’t like “non-kinky” because a. it’s clunky and b. why define yourself by what you’re not in that explicit a way?
The thing is I feel that way when someone asserts that “you’re vanilla”. They are asserting that person is somehow defined by what they are assumed to not like.
It’s also interesting, to me, the ways in which “Kink” has come to mean BDSM. Other things get defined as, “fetish”.
I am pretty much against defining normal when it comes to sex. I know what I like. I know that what I like is different from what others like (to the left and the right). To some I am “kinky”, to some I am perverse, to some I am dull as dishwater and to my lovers I am, most of the time (so they tell me) just what the doctor ordered.
Hell, look at Brandon, who was trying to impress us with the occasional spanking and sex while standing.
I do wonder to what extent early exposure to the nastier kind of porn might influence the development of people’s sexual preferences. I have an ex (from about… lord, fifteen years ago) who was complaining the guys she was sleeping with were all having sex as if there was a camera there to record it; changing position a lot, and expecting her to contort herself.
Those boys didn’t get a second tumble.
I really do want to know why that’s a thing. I’m just not seeing how it could be sexy from any perspective. My friend said it was like he was trying to play whack-a-mole with his cock – so hot!
I think it’s a form of dominance, “Look I can beat you, and I’m doing it with my dick!”. It’s an extension of the “cock makes you unclean” thing, and by whacking you with it they are asserting that you are so beneath them they can use their dicks to beat you.
It’s bizarre.
Booze, lots and lots of booze.
It makes it sound like sex was about as fun as sitting an exam – and I mean for the men as well as the women. I know there’s a whole cultural trope about sex being a performative thing for men (just men? Can’t recall) but treating it as if you’re on camera and shifting around – it reads like they thought they were doing something to get marks for it. How much pleasure can anyone gain from that? Or is the mighty orgasm the be-all and end-all?
Maybe? With the mention of his girlfriend’s thighs, it sounded like he makes a ton of desserts, then gives them to his girlfriend, then thinks his girlfriend is too fat, so he wants to make desserts and then not share them…? And someone is preventing him from doing this…?
Whatever; kittens.
M Dubz: I have no real problem with the gutterals (Russian is full of them), it’s just that I say things a little off. I’m getting better. What I really need is to take some lessons.
Kitteh’s: I think it was them not knowing what sex is about, and assuming that Porn = Good Sex, as opposed to Porn = Theater.
Someone has booze and isn’t sharing?!
On “topic” — whacking someone with your dick just sounds painful, not sexy. Like, I can remotely grasp the “I dominate you by slapping you with genitals!” but it just sounds like it’d hurt the slaper more than the slapee.
@kitteh
No, sorry, I just linked to a random bunny, haven’t got pics online but mines a lionhead too(only much cuter).
@ hellkell
“something smells fictional”
I wondered what you mean
I just really liked this, I get the same confusing feeling about this stuff.
Also, because it is really nice that this happened, I texted him shortly after about the vocalizing problem and he actually called to apologize and offered me to talk about it if and wherever I felt comfortable. I thought about this all day, and now I talk about it nice stuff happens.