I‘m beginning to wonder if every single complaint from manosphere misogynists comes back to their rage at the fact that women get to decide who can have sex with them. Take the following comment from MGTOWforums.com. The ostensible topic of conversation? A study reporting that women tend to feel more stressed than men at work. Watch how deftly MGTOWforums “senior member” 7 Deadly Sins turns the topic from “women in the workplace” to “my sad penis.”
They wanted to work so now they’re working. Oh work is too hard and stressing you out? Too bad. You wanted to be career whores, right ? Enjoy. If you give women what they ask for, they still want more. Who cares if they’re stressed out? They can always get dicked down and take some of the edge off. Men can’t get sex whenever they “feel” like it. Nobody cares what you whores think or feel any more.
Damn. That’s some pretty intense boner rage there, dude.
Heh. I kinda want a BonerRage comic book character now.
Mmm, I didn’t think I was hungry but apparently mention of sausages and spuds disproves that theory. 😛
Re: Hickory St murders, I assumed it was a matter of one or both of the women promising sex initially but that was expecting entirely too much logic of misogynists. It seems they just invited them to hang out, and met two days before killing them. 🙁
CassandraSays: I am horrendously intimidated by women. I have got better but that’s partially from hanging out with weirdos that are very often women. 😀 I have always found hanging out with men, like when I was the only woman on a (tiny) Navy ship (yeah, I know that sounds scary, but it was all good) or when I’m the only woman at sparring (muay thai), so kinda hyper-masculine environments, that those are the situations I feel I can naturally relax. Even now I find a lot of stuff men talk about in those situations problematic, it comes more naturally to me.
My gender confusion (I am mostly happy identifying as male with female life experience, I don’t THINK I’m going to transition but I am super torn) became more apparent to me when I realised I just don’t *see* myself as female. Like, despite knowing it and not being totally un-feminine, I’m *surprised* at people perceiving me as female.
I’m sure I have a lot of internalised misogyny too. 🙁 As far as attraction to women goes, that confuses me too, because I’m definitely attracted to women but I’ve never had that super magnetic thing with a woman. I had a kinda-girlfriend, who I was keen on at a party but once we tried dating, snuggling in bed just made me feel sick-nervous rather than aroused.
My replies to things are always excessively long, sorry. 😛
Random derail! Is it just me or does this look like a skirt rather than a top?
http://www.ebay.com/itm/Michael-Stars-Mustard-yellow-tube-top-one-size-/151017390661?pt=US_CSA_WC_Shirts_Tops&hash=item2329568245
Maybe wait for a situation in which you do feel a stronger pull? The nervousness could be unfamiliarity or it could be a situation that just isn’t right for you. I know I’d feel weird and not be able to get really turned on in a situation where I felt intimidated or otherwise not quite comfortable with the other person.
Yes it very much does. I do not think it would be the most flattering of tops. -_-
AND:
Every time I think I’m crazy about being into ladies I then wonder about this. I have a very specific set of turn ons that are common in men and less common in women – a little bit of androgyny, extreme geekiness and enthusiasm about something (men are probably more likely to start talking AT you in great detail, maybe?), someone who’s very firm in their approach sexually (I tend to be very forward and I don’t know what to do with the pretty ladies who tend to give rather than push back).
Aaaaand another reason I fear transition. I am definitely MORE into dudes than ladies. And I’d be a gay trans* dude. Which is popular with a certain subset of the population but suddenly puts me at a much higher risk of violence. 🙁
That’s what I’m running with! Bearing in mind, I had a bunch of sexual partners but only one baby relationship, then I’ve been with my partner 9 1/2 years, from 18 (and some) – 28. AND I’m kinda socially phobic. So I don’t meet people, and how many gay women want an inexperienced, kinda masculine-identifying, bi woman, when they would be a secondary partner to a man??? Yeeeeah.
That definitely looks like a skirt to me, and seconding Hrovitnir, I don’t think it’d be at all flattering as a top. Mind you I don’t think boob tubes and their descendants are flattering anyway. ::has dreadful 70s flashback::
And seconding Cassandra (I’m bein’ so original tonight) about the situation with women – if you’re not really comfortable with women socially, I wouldn’t expect it to feel that great trying to do sexytimes. *Trying* being a major factor, I’m guessing. Never been in the situation of sexytimes or potential sexytimes with anyone but Mister, but every time I’ve ever thought of it with a guy, I cringe. I’m much more comfortable with women (opposites again, lol). So yeah, that makes sense to me.
Herb and garlic sausages, spuds, pumpkin and cabbage – yum!
It makes more sense when you say that you’re uncomfortable with partners who’re very yielding, since women tend to be socialized to do that. Maybe some internalized stuff about how you perceive people who act in traditionally feminine ways too? I dunno, it’s much harder to figure this stuff out with people who you can’t see them interacting with others! (Normally I’m the person who all my friends ask to figure relationship/interaction stuff out for them.)
And yeah, just being bi alone will send a lot of otherwise suitable women running for the nearest exit. I’m thinking that the answer to your dilemma may be to gradually get involved with women who you’re friends with first, so you can work through the more general discomfort with relating to women before tackling the more emotionally complicated stuff.
(Please note that I say all of this very bitterly and with great anger, because I’m a feminist and I’d hate our trolls to feel let down.)
Oh man Kitteh, awesome. I LOVE steamed/boiled cabbage, though I think I’m unusual.
I think your sex history is pretty unique. 😀 All the better for how it works for you.
I freaking hate boob tubes 99.9% of the time. Let alone if they go OUT under the breasts. WHO would that suit? It’s one of those “if you’re extremely slim, with a specific shape, but probably unusually big breasts, it will look good but even so something else would look better” situations. 😛
“(Normally I’m the person who all my friends ask to figure relationship/interaction stuff out for them.)”
::pictures CassandraSays with white lab coat over goth gear, looking over spectacles while taking notes::
I call those faux-maternity tops. The billowy bottom makes perfect sense if the wearer is pregnant, but otherwise I don’t get it
LOL
You’re awesome: I love over-analysing my own and other’s stuff, consensually. 😉 On the plus side, I have lots of lesbian friends (not close friends, but friendly enough for coffees and birthday parties). On the down side, they’re all big drinkers and I don’t drink any more. On the super down side, they all know my male partner. lol
I appreciate insight! Definitely a combination of “women are mostly socialised away from my preferred behaviours” and “internalised badness about femininity”.
It’s rare, that’s for sure! 😀
Hey, a second person in the world who likes good old boiled cabbage? ::high fives again::
That boob-tube-with-flare sounds like how not to do an Empire line. I mean, yeah, high-waisted skirts/dresses, they can look great, especially if you’ve a curvy belly *cough*who me?*cough*, but on a boob tube??? Noooo!
You too, eh? 😀
Damn that Tasman!
I’m also imagining it blowing up every time there’s a breeze.
It does look like a skirt.
I enjoy cabbage as well (in its many forms).
“I appreciate insight! Definitely a combination of “women are mostly socialised away from my preferred behaviours” and “internalised badness about femininity”.”
I do wonder about how culture shapes us. We can never fully know. *sighs*
I like flared tops – I haz the shape for them – but that one’s got FAIL written all over it.
And I shudder to think what they’d want to pair it with. I just hope it’d be leggings rather than low-slung jeans.
Why did I have to give myself that image …
“Most of my torso, let me show you it every time there’s even a tiny spot of wind.”
I think it probably is a skirt and the person selling it is just an idiot.
Hahahahaha. Definitely the jeans. So low you can see the line where she shaves. (Seriously, I have seen this. Toooo low.)
I saw a bloke sitting on a step not long ago – his low slung jeans were halfway down his arse. Waaaaay too much information, dude, even from the back view.
Cassandra, I hope you’re right about the seller.
Be funny if they’ve been wearing it as a dress/top. “This damn thing doesn’t sit properly! I’m going to sell it!”
I prefer low-rise jeans but the general rule is that if they require a bikini wax to wear, they’re probably too low.
Hi, also have terrible dating luck (it’s come to my attention that I have flings with lovely people and date utter assholes) — so, fling success? Friends first, friend of friends where the yes also queer question is answered safely, online dating or at least figuring out the sexuality question with that safety buffer (note, I don’t do online dating, but find the “so, are you interested?” thing more comfortable at the safer distance of internet where rage and banning them can happen if needed)
Note: I am probably not the person to take dating advice from! I tend to sort of fall into relationships, eg the not-an-ex posted on FB about the apt upstairs being open, I needed an apt, it was out of my range but we started talking and you can likely guess the rest! Magic powers or something?
Now, if anyone has hints how to inquire with someone as to whether they’d be interested, with a whole series of oddities (please tell me how many kinky poly okay-with-gender-meh/are-genderqueer people there are? Because I kinda suspect the odds of finding another one who isn’t the not-an-ex remotely resemble the odds of asteroid strikes…and, oh yeah, I’m crazy and nobody wants to date crazy)
Ok now I’m just going to turn into a whiny drunk. Ignore me! Answer this: anyone else find it odd that Jaro returns right after Clifford has a Pelltdown?
So you’re coming around to the “maybe it’s all one guy and wow is he ever obsessive” theory, then.
@cassandra
“That’s part of why I guffaw when these guys start ranting about how easy gay men have it. Try dealing with a situation in which about 90% of the people of your preferred gender not only aren’t ever going to be even potentially interested in you, some of them might also try to kick your ass if you even suggest that you’re interested in them, and then we’ll talk.”
My life, you describe it.
Yes, I could just go down to the sauna, but the guys who frequent the sauna are the kind of people who can’t get sex anywhere else – that is they’re old, fat and often smelly.
In gay clunbs it’s easy… so long as you are hot, masculine in a gay way, well muscled, okay with taking your shirt off in public, don’t look like you’re over 22, and well dressed. From what I can see is it’s actually harder to get sex with attractive men if you’re gay than if you’re a woman. Mainly because there are more attractive straight men.
Low-rise jeans would look dire on me if I didn’t have a long top over them – I’m not huge (83kg) but I have a prominent, droopy belly. The gut-protruding-twixt-pants-and-top is not one I’m going to try! 😀
Argenti, I don’t know what you’re like in person but you do not come across as a whiny drunk online. Drunk maybe, whiny no.
There. Aunty Queen has spoken.
I hadn’t thought of the Jaro/Pelltdown thing, I don’t take much notice of posting times, but … hmmm. Mind you if he is Pell, he’s being remarkably coherent straight after all that frothing about his abs on the other thread.
HEY CLIFFORDPELLJARO LIFT YOUR GAME SON