The regulars at PUAhate.com – we’ve met them before — are a strange and bitter bunch. Most seem to be self-loathing so-called “incels” who blame their lack of romantic and sexual success on their average or below-average looks. Rejecting the basic premise of the pickup artist crowd – that average guys can transform themselves into suave lotharios by mastering manipulative pickup formulas – the PUAhate regulars tend to be true believers in what they somewhat pretentiously call “looks theory,” the odd and obviously untrue notion that women only date men with “male model” looks.
As one PUAhater put it recently:
PUA makes you think that all your problems are because of your personality/behaviour – i.e. things you can control. So when you keep failing, it means that YOU are fucking up and doing things wrong
the reality is that many of us just lost the genetic lottery. we are ugly, the wrong race, the wrong height etc, and that fucked us up. there is NOTHING we can do about it
So, naturally, the PUAhaters spend a lot of their time jealous of tall, good-looking men for their supposed monopoly on the women of the world — whom they also hate.
But the strange thing is that the PUAhaters pretty much hate everyone else as well. They get angry when guys they consider ugly score “hot chicks.” They get angry when guys who are good-looking but not male models get attention from “really hot girls.” And so on, and so on, and so on.
Indeed, many of the regulars seem to walk around in a perpetual state of rage, angry at each and every man who’s managed to pair up with a woman, not to mention the women as well.
One regular recently described his “day from hell” to his comrades:
To start the day I saw a couple where it was an average White guy with an OBESE Asian girl. They were walking around acting like they were trying to prove shit. LMAO. I wanted to kick the guy in the fucking nuts for dating that landwhale. If you’re going to use the racial advantage, at least date a girl who is under 300lbs. Later I go to the gym and see the same tall guys I usually do. Even if I had a good face, how the fuck do you compete with guys who are fucking 6’4”?
Then at the gym there’s this good looking White guy there talking to this Asian dude about how Asian girls are easy and how they approach him. To make things worse after that these fucking frat douchebags come in with their girlfriends to show off . Then to cap off the day a girl I used to know from freshman year walks right past me without even saying anything. I used to fucking live next door to this bitch and now she doesn’t even say anything and acts like a pretentious cunt. She’s an Indian girl dating a White dude lmao. Days like today make you wonder why you even still try in the first place.
Of course, as I’ve mentioned before, most of those posting on PUAhate don’t actually seem to be ugly by anyone’s standards but their own, at least judging from the pictures of themselves they sometimes post to the site, which reveal them to be mostly average-looking guys, with some of the regulars even quite conventionally handsome.
But evidently they would rather believe that they have “lost the genetic lottery” rather than face a more obvious explanation for why the girls don’t like them: because they’re shallow, self-obsessed assholes who hate themselves and hate women and radiate their bitterness from every pore. (And some are even creepier than this, like this pedophile – sorry, ephebophile – who’s angry at me personally because unlike him I don’t chase after 15-year-olds. Link NSFW.)
The PUAhaters often talk about getting surgeries to “correct” their supposed genetic flaws. They would do far better to spend that money on therapy.
I would love to put kitteh on my shoulder, but my kitteh weighs 10.4 pounds and my health insurance isn’t all that great.
Yeah its your fault because you arent a nice person to be around. i mean wtf? You’ re Assuming that puahaters are idiots who go around being mean to people and expect positive behaviour? Assuming that everyone out there is a nice person and puahaters are the only mean people on the planet. Where do you get off David.
I personally have been nice to plenty of people and have been met with disgust because I dont fit the profile and ” type” of person some people want to associate with.
Use your head.
Hey looksy, everyone here knows people get bullied sometimes because of the way they look. That’s one of the reasons we’re anti-fatshaming and anti-abelism and anti-judging people on their looks. Thing is that women get bullied and shamed far more than men do. You (and the PUAhaters) just don’t notice because all you care about is what happens to you.
So, if you’re bullied and shamed, that is a horrible thing to happen to you and I agree it can be very emotionally damaging. But the people at fault are the bullies who did it (I would put money on plenty of the bullies being guys too) and society at large that encourages that bullying (pro tip: the one men are in charge of) not ALL women and certainly not feminists.
They don’t have to be mean – being completely self-absorbed and lacking in empathy is more than enough to put people off.
women get bullied and shamed far more than men do
^^^
Bold statement!!!! how do you know this, Id be more inclined to the contrary.
So, if you’re bullied and shamed, that is a horrible thing to happen to you and I agree it can be very emotionally damaging. But the people at fault are the bullies who did it (I would put money on plenty of the bullies being guys too) and society at large that encourages that bullying (pro tip: the one men are in charge of) not ALL women and certainly not feminists.
^^^
but the bullies post-high school tend to be women.
It is really hard to fit into groups and social circles when the “women of the group” dont want you around.
If women dont want you around it affects the status of the rest of the group and you get kicked out of social circles quickly, because ” women dont like you”
This is youth group dynamics. Women are the key. If you can gain acceptance from women, you can gain acceptance from men. Failure to do so results in being avoided by all parties.
Actually, if women don’t like you, that situation is unlikely to improve with age. Groups of older people don’t want men who all the women in the group can’t stand around either, as you can see from the response you always get here.
Science!
Dude, science isn’t prescriptive. There’s no “defying science.”
I can say that being snubbed socially seems to lead to resentment and bitterness. You can’t deny that! I’ve got a sample! It’s science!
And we have moved seamlessly and elegantly from comparing women to RPG quest objects to … Pokemon.
“Cuckolderess uses REALITY! It’s not very effective.”
Also I think that upon closer reflection, my marriage actually is based on “defying science” …
Isn’t it anti-Pokemon, though? Can’t catch any of them! Therefore hate all of them!
I love the idea that science is trying to prevent some people from hooking up. I’m picturing a National Institute of Correct Fucking that monitors who’s hooking up with who and intervenes if someone who’s scientifically not hot enough is about to get laid.
Yeah, sorry but if you’re *friendless* and not just not having sex, it’s probably because of your toxic personality. Most people don’t give a crap about your looks when it comes to be friends.
And the idea that beauty is an objective thing is laughable. I suspect you also think the same of music, when I find the following to be beautiful music, unlike what I expect is 80% of the human race (due to the use of distortion and such).
I also find “Piss Christ” to be a really beautiful piece of art (and I mean aesthetically), again unlike a lot of Christians out there.
Personally I’m pretty average to low average in looks according to your so-called objective social standards, I have a cute face but am pretty fat, generally dress in a very utilitarian manner, etc. And yet I have two lovers right now (one woman, one man) and they both find me actually attractive, not just settling. So this idea that looks is the most important thing in the world is to me extremely ludicrous. If anything, if you’re the type to be into market theories about dating, you ought to realize that niche markets exist.
@CassandraSays: And their enforcer is CockBlock, millionaire playboy by day, RAGING DOUCHEBAG BY NIGHT! He answers the call, whenever it might come, to prevent incorrect fucking! His arch nemesis, the wily PeaCock, plots nefarious schemes to avoid the Institute and fuck incorrectly!
Also! Our trolls like to remind us that David is fat, which according to them is the worst thing ever. According to PUAhate, men who aren’t model-hot are actively scorned by all women in not only a sexual sense, but a social sense too. So why do so many of us like David so much?
Please explain, Looksy.
CockBlock has a sidekick who looks like Elizabeth Hurley’s character in Bedazzled. Whenever PeaCock is about to win she saves the day with the power of derisive female laughter.
Dude, as has been said, beauty vary in time and in place.
In pre-modern Japan it was considered the height of beauty for women to blacken their teeth and to shave their eyebrows and paint black smudges on half way up their forehead.
Also, traditionally in Japan the female neck is seen as an extremely erotic area, somewhat like legs are in the West.
In medieval Europe fashionable women plucked their eyebrows completely and then plucked their hairlines as well.
They have differed for men as well, in early medieval Norman England pretty much all Norman men had full beards, but across the border in Wales men had clean shaven chins but kept large moustaches.
In some cultures in Africa it was (and still is) considered a sign of beauty, wealth and prestige for young women to be highly overweight, young girls and women were force fed and put on special diets to make them as fat as possible.
Even within a culture standards of beauty vary and people find different things attractive. I personally have always found guys with wonky or big noses attractive as they give a face character. I also find six packs and highly defined muscles deeply off putting.
And Looks_Law, people get to choose who they talk to and associate with. People don’t owe you their time or interest, you’ve got to be worth their time. And if you walk around talking about how much you hate everyone who is attractive and every woman who doesn’t want to sleep with you then you aren’t going to be popular. Funnily, enough who hate everyone who isn’t them don’t tend to be the best friends.
Everyone suffers from rejection at times, I have been, and I’ve been bullied and ostracized, I went through most of my time at Secondary school without a single friend (and any that I had were usually horrible to me) and certainly no hope of any sexual partners.
You know what I haven’t done? Decided that the rest of the world is awful and that everyone who doesn’t lavish me with attention and praise and sex at the drop of a hat is a bitch or an arsehole. I also didn’t and don’t resent other people for having found happiness as couples. I don’t insult their appearance for merely existing in my presence.
Bad things happen to people but when you are an adult they do not excuse you from acting like an arsehole.
The idea that beauty is scientific is kind of crap too. There are a few general rules (people generally prefer symmetry to really obvious asymmetry, people usually prefer clear skin to skin with acne), but people have experimented by creating images of the “perfect” face, and usually the reaction is sort of “meh…pretty, but not that exciting”. Most people prefer faces with some sort of “flaw”. Mr C and I were watching a move the other day and talking about this, how both of the leads had obvious “flaws” in their faces but they’re almost universally regarded as super attractive, and would probably be less so if the “flaws” were removed.
Putting that aside, though, here are the basic issues with Looky’s rambling.
1. No, being unpopular/lonely/whatever doesn’t mean that it’s reasonable for you to decide that everyone else is evil.
2. If you do so, and won’t shut up about it, don’t be too surprised if people don’t want to hang out with you. Who wants to be around that kind of negativity?
There are no gay women, apparently.
You go from the above evo-psych garbage to the very next paragraph of your screed where you argue that every woman in the Western world is a cheating whore. So we are biologically less sexual AND we are sex crazed whores, all at the same time. Sure.
Apparently we fuck around just to make men miserable, no other reason.
Also I can’t be the only person nearly peeing myself laughing over the idea that if you’re an ugly man hooking up would be much easier for you if you were gay. Because gay men aren’t picky at all.
I love how they simultaneously argue that a) men cannot control their sexuality while every sexual act that a woman performs is coldly calculating and b) men are the logical sex, while women are ruled solely by emotion
It makes sense if the only emotion you acknowledge as real when coming from a man is anger.
This is highly relevant to the conversation.
Wait, no, don’t click on that link, it’s doing something wonky.
It’s supposed to be a link to an old Bloom County strip, wherein Opus is in a funk because he’s not in a relationship.
Milo’s response?