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How to Hate and Envy Every Single Person in the World, PUAhate edition

Some guys get all the chicks
Some guys get all the chicks

The regulars at PUAhate.com – we’ve met them before — are a strange and bitter bunch. Most seem to be self-loathing so-called “incels” who blame their lack of romantic and sexual success on their average or below-average looks. Rejecting the basic premise of the pickup artist crowd – that average guys can transform themselves into suave lotharios by mastering manipulative pickup formulas – the PUAhate regulars tend to be true believers in what they somewhat pretentiously call “looks theory,” the odd and obviously untrue notion that women only date men with “male model” looks.

As one PUAhater put it recently:

PUA makes you think that all your problems are because of your personality/behaviour – i.e. things you can control. So when you keep failing, it means that YOU are fucking up and doing things wrong

the reality is that many of us just lost the genetic lottery. we are ugly, the wrong race, the wrong height etc, and that fucked us up. there is NOTHING we can do about it

So, naturally, the PUAhaters spend a lot of their time jealous of tall, good-looking men for their supposed monopoly on the women of the world — whom they also hate.

But the strange thing is that the PUAhaters pretty much hate everyone else as well. They get angry when guys they consider ugly score “hot chicks.” They get angry when guys who are good-looking but not male models get attention from “really hot girls.” And so on, and so on, and so on.

Indeed, many of the regulars seem to walk around in a perpetual state of rage, angry at each and every man who’s managed to pair up with a woman, not to mention the women as well.

One regular recently described his “day from hell” to his comrades:

To start the day I saw a couple where it was an average White guy with an OBESE Asian girl. They were walking around acting like they were trying to prove shit. LMAO. I wanted to kick the guy in the fucking nuts for dating that landwhale. If you’re going to use the racial advantage, at least date a girl who is under 300lbs. Later I go to the gym and see the same tall guys I usually do. Even if I had a good face, how the fuck do you compete with guys who are fucking 6’4”?

Then at the gym there’s this good looking White guy there talking to this Asian dude about how Asian girls are easy and how they approach him. To make things worse after that these fucking frat douchebags come in with their girlfriends to show off . Then to cap off the day a girl I used to know from freshman year walks right past me without even saying anything. I used to fucking live next door to this bitch and now she doesn’t even say anything and acts like a pretentious cunt. She’s an Indian girl dating a White dude lmao. Days like today make you wonder why you even still try in the first place.

Of course, as I’ve mentioned before, most of those posting on PUAhate don’t actually seem to be ugly by anyone’s standards but their own, at least judging from the pictures of themselves they sometimes post to the site, which reveal them to be mostly average-looking guys, with some of the regulars even quite conventionally handsome.

But evidently they would rather believe that they have “lost the genetic lottery” rather than face a more obvious explanation for why the girls don’t like them: because they’re shallow, self-obsessed assholes who hate themselves and hate women and radiate their bitterness from every pore. (And some are even creepier than this, like this pedophile – sorry, ephebophile – who’s angry at me personally because unlike him I don’t chase after 15-year-olds. Link NSFW.)

The PUAhaters often talk about getting surgeries to “correct” their supposed genetic flaws. They would do far better to spend that money on therapy.

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Marie
11 years ago

Now I feel a little weird, cuz I actually like my chiropractor 😛 Haven’t noticed much woo stuff w/ her, but I’m not super chatty w/ her. *shrugs*

freemage
freemage
11 years ago

Mary: Don’t mean to minimize your individual experience, for the record. I’m speaking in terms of averages and trends, only.

augochlorella
augochlorella
11 years ago

I wonder why 😛 Are lots of canes that expensive? It’s like…a lot.

My roommate eventually chose a high-quality cane, but I’m pretty sure it came in under a hundred dollars. From what I could gather, the bull penis cane was abnormally expensive for a cane. Perhaps the market has a shortage of bull penises, thus driving up the price? Where are those troll pseudo-economists when you need them?

Marie
11 years ago

Mary: Don’t mean to minimize your individual experience, for the record. I’m speaking in terms of averages and trends, only.

Ah, okay. Not that it matters too much to me, since idk if I’d say “minimize individual experience” for it, since I wasn’t really upset, just amused. Idk if that made sense… anyway, yes, now I know you are speaking averages…um, anyway, hopefully that was clear-ish.

@augochlorella

Well, it’s nice to hear canes aren’t normally that expensive 🙂 It’s just suck if someone had to buy something for near a hundred dollars just to help them walk, so that’s why I asked :/

Marie
11 years ago

Um, oops was that comment to me? I thought it said marie when I answered. *blushes*

ignore answer if it’s not.

freemage
freemage
11 years ago

*Blinks* Gah, no, it was to you, Marie. I think interacting with Hank in the other thread eroded my typing skills.

Now, augochlorella, on the whole matter of bull penis cane economics, I think it’s more a matter of a dearth of cane makers who are willing to work with bull penises (penii?), than it is a lack of available raw materials.

augochlorella
augochlorella
11 years ago

@ freemage I’ll keep that in the back of my mind if I ever have trouble finding a job in the future.

BigMomma
11 years ago

Mr BigMomma is a physiotherapist (and thus very useful on Manboobz Island) and he gives chiropractors the side-eye.

Just contributing to the thread.

Dvärghundspossen
11 years ago

@Ostara, okay! If you merely meant to say that being male means you have male privilege, I’m on board. I guess I misunderstood you, since I thought you said it’s worse being a woman than being a man EVEN if the woman has certain privileges the man lacks.

Dvärghundspossen
11 years ago

I’m a bit drunk now since me and husband watched Conan the Barbarian while drinking this new beer we found from a local micro-brewery. It’s called “I fucking love bunnies”, and has a pink glittery bottle with bunnies on it. It’s got a really strong taste and TONS of alcohol, and a text on the bottle saying “are you gender-queer enough?”.

freemage
freemage
11 years ago

Dvärghundspossen: Do you have any sort of link for that brewery? I know someone who would vastly enjoy seeing that bottle, if nothing else.

Dvärghundspossen
11 years ago

Oh, and I made this interesting observation that by looking at aimed-solely-at-a-male-demographic, trashy, action pop-culture stuff, you can see that the world has actually, as a whole, become more feminist over the years.

So, Conan the Barbarian, the 2011 movie: Conan meets this girl who’s a monk (yeah, they refer to her as a monk, not a nun), and the bad guys want to kidnap her because for various reasons she’s the only person they can use for bringing the spirit of a dead witch back to Earth. The bad guys chase her, she fights them off pretty well by herself for a while (she’s portrayed not so much as a master fighter, but as very quick-witted and resourceful), but is eventually helped by Conan. Conan’s like “oh, I came up with this plan involving you posing as my slave-girl, but rather than sharing my plans with you I’m just gonna drag you off” and she’s like “uh, since I’m chased by Bad Guys this very moment there’s no time to argue so I’ll put up with his bullshit FOR NOW” RATHER THAN “oh I’m so impressed by this dominant go-getter of a man”. She quickly sets things straight as soon as the situation’s calmed down a bit, saves Conan when he’s about to be killed by the bad guys by setting up an explosion and physically dragging him off (quite a feat considering the size of the man), bangs Conan (either forgetting her vows of chastity – or maybe in this fantasy worlds it’s perfectly okay for monks to fuck, I don’t know really), and is eventually kidnapped by the bad guys and saved by Conan.

What I’m thinking is – okay, he saved her in the end. But she was resourceful, tough and confident. Some decades ago, heroes in trashy action flicks aimed for a male demographic didn’t get resourceful, tough and confident girlfriends. But really, most trashy male-aimed action flicks nowadays take that approach. So… some proof that the world HAS moved forwards, feminist-wise, during the last decades or so.

Marie
11 years ago

@big momma

Mr BigMomma is a physiotherapist (and thus very useful on Manboobz Island) and he gives chiropractors the side-eye.

curious more on why, if you don’t mind sharing. 🙂 Or is it just what other people said, claiming it can do more than it can?

Dvärghundspossen
11 years ago

@Freemage: Here’s the pic http://sodramaltfabriken.se/?page_id=922 , but you can’t read the text on the bottle from the pic, and it doesn’t show that the bottle actually glitters. Anyway, the text was in Swedish.

timetravellingfool
11 years ago

@ Howard- Hey, just today someone suggested I should be a firefighter! I can lift a 200 lb man over my head, so that’s a thing I can do that might be helpful. Plus my old coach was rabidly against female fire fighters and I like to stick it to him. And it’s as close as I can get to risky helpfuk work without shooting someone.

Gillian
Gillian
11 years ago

“I think it matters whether wanting them to suffer the way they made others suffer is just a way to get a slight comfort that the universe is just, and you’d never actually encourage it. Versus actually honestly thinking this is a damned good idea and others should agree.”

I think wanting bad people to suffer the way they made others suffer is a knee jerk emotional reaction to something bad is a normal reaction that anybody who can empathize with the victims feels. This isn’t a bad thing as long as you can take a step back and think rationally about whether or not it would do more harm than good.

Doing a quick drive by; as per usual, when I’m on my own time, I tend to fill it with “omg I have a free minute, quick do the fourteen things that have been on the top of the to do list for the last month!” When I’m on contract hours, I generally have a product to work on, so as long as I’m getting that done (or just sitting and waiting for someone to bring me more redlines) I feel less like I have to get EVERYTHING done in the next nine minutes.

If that makes sense… My cats woke me at 3 this morning by knocking things all to hell in their pursuit of a fly or a moth or their own damn imagination because who the hell thinks cats have to have a reason? I’m not at my most coherent, really.

For me, the above comes down to a perfectly natural, perfectly human response to stimuli and then what do you do next? It’s perfectly normal and human to think that people who do something horrible deserve to have something horrible done to them, and even to speculate about what you’d like to do. But I am starting to worry about what too much of that does to a person. I think you kill off a bit of your (the universal you, that is) own humanity by dwelling too much on that kind of thing.

It’s like the person the other day who suggested that we have to have sympathy for rapists. On the one hand, no, absolutely not. But on the other hand, we do have to recognize their basic humanity, even under the inhumanity of what they have done. Not sympathy, not ever, but we can’t be inhumane in return, mostly for what it does to our own humanity.

My feeling about the death penalty has always been not that some people don’t richly deserve to die, but I think that killing them, even when it would be better for society, diminishes us. As Pratchett says, in the voice of Commander Vimes, you can’t do bad things, even for good reasons. Because it forms a kind of callus, and he observes that eventually you will find yourself doing bad things for bad reasons too. But I also think that doing bad things to other people leaves a stain that never comes off.

I myself have fantasized doing bad things to people who have hurt me, but I try not to think that way for too long, because that callus forms pretty easily, and I’d rather not think of myself as being like them.

I fail, but I keep trying, if that makes sense, and that feels to me like it must mean something.

freemage
freemage
11 years ago

Dvärghundspossen: Thanks, that’ll do–it’s the name of the beer that’s the key for this particular friend.

My wife just sent me a link to an article about the guy behind Henri, the Existential Cat.
Let’s see if this works:

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q34z5dCmC4M&w=560&h=315%5D

freemage
freemage
11 years ago

Well, it was a link, anyway. Anyone got a WordPress for Dummies lesson on embedding Youtube videos in a comments thread?

Gillian
Gillian
11 years ago

Jones, that’s super interesting and I do hope you keep posting here with it. I am kinda fascinated (in a sick sort of way) by the movement and the movement’s backlash, and so I’m interested in everything you are willing to share about it.

On a related note, I went by that ‘come here and whine after you get rejected’ thread, and I was pleasantly surprised to see that there was at least one guy there (he might even have been a mod?) who was calling the others on their shit, pointing out when they were being dramatic or over inflating something that sounded like it could be as much about someone just being in their own head instead of being about the individual PUA hater dude.

So, in short, you will always find a receptive audience here.

On the other hand, I’m having an ongoing privacy issue, so I completely understand the fear of being doxed, so do what you have time for and feel up to.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Wow…I’m home sick today and this thread was an excellent thing to catch up on while I sat on the couch and wallowed in my misery (common colds make me very melodramatic, fyi).

::fistbump from fellow at-home-with-cold-person::

Gillian
Gillian
11 years ago

@freemage Okay, bear with me, because it’s something I just learned, and I’m sleep deprived, but here goes.

Go to your youtube video and look for the place below the image and above the contents section that says “Share” (it is/should be next to “About”). Cllick on it and it will bring up the url permalink. Above that there should be a bit of text that says “Embed”. Click on that and it will give you more text plus the permalink. You can make some choices about size and features and then copy the text and paste it into a comment window.

Like this

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mF6ijhSrbBQ&w=420&h=315%5D

The problem is that a couple of those spaces need to be deleted. So delete the space between “315” and src and the one between “0” and allow and you should get this (please let this work!!)

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mF6ijhSrbBQ&w=420&h=315]

Gillian
Gillian
11 years ago

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mF6ijhSrbBQ&w=420&h=315]

freemage
freemage
11 years ago

Gillian: Heh. That’s what I did and ended up with the link I got. Hrm…. To all, forgive the experimentation. I figure at this point, a couple extra posts ain’t no thing, though:

Myoo
Myoo
11 years ago

@freemage
Just post the youtube link in its own line, with no spaces before or after it. Also, make sure it’s http:// and not https://

Gillian
Gillian
11 years ago

Okay, so the text is something like this

with extra spaces added in front of the first and after the second “iframe” Those spaces need to go. As does the one between “315” and src and the one between “0” and allowfullscreen

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