The regulars at PUAhate.com – we’ve met them before — are a strange and bitter bunch. Most seem to be self-loathing so-called “incels” who blame their lack of romantic and sexual success on their average or below-average looks. Rejecting the basic premise of the pickup artist crowd – that average guys can transform themselves into suave lotharios by mastering manipulative pickup formulas – the PUAhate regulars tend to be true believers in what they somewhat pretentiously call “looks theory,” the odd and obviously untrue notion that women only date men with “male model” looks.
As one PUAhater put it recently:
PUA makes you think that all your problems are because of your personality/behaviour – i.e. things you can control. So when you keep failing, it means that YOU are fucking up and doing things wrong
the reality is that many of us just lost the genetic lottery. we are ugly, the wrong race, the wrong height etc, and that fucked us up. there is NOTHING we can do about it
So, naturally, the PUAhaters spend a lot of their time jealous of tall, good-looking men for their supposed monopoly on the women of the world — whom they also hate.
But the strange thing is that the PUAhaters pretty much hate everyone else as well. They get angry when guys they consider ugly score “hot chicks.” They get angry when guys who are good-looking but not male models get attention from “really hot girls.” And so on, and so on, and so on.
Indeed, many of the regulars seem to walk around in a perpetual state of rage, angry at each and every man who’s managed to pair up with a woman, not to mention the women as well.
One regular recently described his “day from hell” to his comrades:
To start the day I saw a couple where it was an average White guy with an OBESE Asian girl. They were walking around acting like they were trying to prove shit. LMAO. I wanted to kick the guy in the fucking nuts for dating that landwhale. If you’re going to use the racial advantage, at least date a girl who is under 300lbs. Later I go to the gym and see the same tall guys I usually do. Even if I had a good face, how the fuck do you compete with guys who are fucking 6’4”?
Then at the gym there’s this good looking White guy there talking to this Asian dude about how Asian girls are easy and how they approach him. To make things worse after that these fucking frat douchebags come in with their girlfriends to show off . Then to cap off the day a girl I used to know from freshman year walks right past me without even saying anything. I used to fucking live next door to this bitch and now she doesn’t even say anything and acts like a pretentious cunt. She’s an Indian girl dating a White dude lmao. Days like today make you wonder why you even still try in the first place.
Of course, as I’ve mentioned before, most of those posting on PUAhate don’t actually seem to be ugly by anyone’s standards but their own, at least judging from the pictures of themselves they sometimes post to the site, which reveal them to be mostly average-looking guys, with some of the regulars even quite conventionally handsome.
But evidently they would rather believe that they have “lost the genetic lottery” rather than face a more obvious explanation for why the girls don’t like them: because they’re shallow, self-obsessed assholes who hate themselves and hate women and radiate their bitterness from every pore. (And some are even creepier than this, like this pedophile – sorry, ephebophile – who’s angry at me personally because unlike him I don’t chase after 15-year-olds. Link NSFW.)
The PUAhaters often talk about getting surgeries to “correct” their supposed genetic flaws. They would do far better to spend that money on therapy.
Phenomenon.
Gah.
OT, but has anyone seen this?
@Freemage
Did ur Z button survive that trip into Incel Island? 😛
@emilygoddess & yoyo
Congrats to both of you
Shadow: I know it’s a bit infantile, but honestly, I have to include that sort of thing just to let off steam as I’m typing, or else I’m gonna end up breaking my keyboard against the cubicle wall, y’know?
Or perhaps one of these.
augochlorella, that is pretty awesome.
@Freemage
The internet has inured me to dangerously high levels of Zs and exclamation marks lol Besides, it lends to the air of authenticity 😛
For people who get turned off by the spirituality aspect of yoga, perhaps doga would be more your speed?
As long as we’re linking to Homestuck, I’d like to point out that a bull penis cane makes an appearance. Warning: The gif may be migraine/seizure inducing, as Homestuck gifs often are.
@katz, A co-worker of mine is very interested in your kittens, particularly the gray/white one (Robb). She’s going to talk to her husband tonight, but it looks promising.
To keep this thread going, I will start personal conversations with everyone here that could more properly take place on email. 😀
Re: chiropractors — the narcissist ex had a chiropractor friend, so I got a steep discount. I was wary, but he offered on account of having noticed my scoliosis (and it isn’t nearly serious enough to be obvious) — the ex asked if it’d correct my back, he tied to fumble in case I was hopeful, I said dude, it don’t work that way. But he could at least help loosen the painfully tight muscles keeping my back lopsided. And yeah, I had to see him every couple of weeks but it did help.
So yeah, for back problems it does help, assuming your chiropractor isn’t all woo.
Tina — I think it matters whether wanting them to suffer the way they made others suffer is just a way to get a slight comfort that the universe is just, and you’d never actually encourage it. Versus actually honestly thinking this is a damned good idea and others should agree (*cough*Ruby*cough*). If nothing else, you clearly know wanting bad things to happen to them is wrong, and thus aren’t going to encourage it.
Pretty sure we all want to bash someone upside the head, or worse, from time to time. Just don’t actually encourage it, or go around talking like your eye for an eye “justice” should really happen.
I’m biased here though, I just got verbally shot down for arguing with my parents that the Petit killers shouldn’t be raped, bound, and burned alive (like their victims). Like, actually arguing this, pissed I wouldn’t agree. Versus my narcissist ex is back in jail with a “well someone beat your ass” mugshot…and I’m sorta thrilled, he had it coming.
Idk, maybe I’m just no better.
Cloudiah — Yale art gallery? Peobody museum? Pizza? Coffee? Your choice 🙂
Oh and it’s snowing here again.
Argenti, Wasn’t one of Yale’s museums recently remodeled/refurbished? Is it the Yale Art Gallery? Maybe cannolis? Snow better go away.
Looks like Peobody is undergoing remodeling still. And my brother’s useful sometimes!
Canolis work, yummy. And hopefully the snow will lay off, doesn’t it know that it’s spring!
Yes. I am often struck by a sudden urge to punch whoever the most horrible person in the world is right now (usually the last person to totally excuse a horrific rape). A very strong urge. Because that shit is horrifying.
But punching people in the face doesn’t actually change minds. Or the world. It just perpetuates cycles of violence and toxic masculinity.
So I take a deep breath, remind myself that there are constructive ways to try to wipe that kind of attitude from the world forever, come here and try to educate somebody.
Of course, I spend more time learning than educating, but that’s good too. Can’t educate till I know.
But, yeah.
“I think it matters whether wanting them to suffer the way they made others suffer is just a way to get a slight comfort that the universe is just, and you’d never actually encourage it. Versus actually honestly thinking this is a damned good idea and others should agree.”
I think wanting bad people to suffer the way they made others suffer is a knee jerk emotional reaction to something bad is a normal reaction that anybody who can empathize with the victims feels. This isn’t a bad thing as long as you can take a step back and think rationally about whether or not it would do more harm than good.
Awesome! Does she have any other cats? Because we have a rule that we don’t adopt out kittens as only cats, because they’ll be totally wired if they don’t have a kitty friend to play with.
You’re right, that’s an unfair comparison. Obviously intent isn’t magic, but my intent was not to say that these dudes lives are necessarily BETTER than mine, or every woman’s, but that they do have privileges, whether they are “loveless” or not. Having privilege in some areas does not necessarily make that person’s life awesome, it just means they don’t have to deal with certain bullshit.
Again, obviously what I did not articulate can’t be known, but I wasn’t thinking “lonely guy vs. partnered woman” I was thinking “lonely guy vs lonely woman”. As someone who had a really hard time too in the romance department until almost a year ago, I will say that yeah, worrying that I could be raped and blamed for it, worrying that a group of old men (US government) might decide to rule that I had no right to what happened inside my own body, having to fend off unwanted touching from men on buses (and in bars or crowds, etc), and watching men (with less experience!) get hired at higher pay rates than women I worked with was actually worse than the loneliness I experienced. Not to mention that the first two also gave me pause when deciding to date, which is something else these dudes don’t even realize they don’t have to deal with. Obviously my experience isn’t everyone’s but my intent was not to claim that my life was SO MUCH worse (in a lot of ways I think it’s better, very much in part because I’ve distanced myself from the kind of detrimental thinking they engage in) just that there is a lot of bullshit these guys don’t even realize they don’t have to deal with.
I don’t know if this is making sense, this might be a good time to start eating my foot since re-reading my shit sounds weirdly Oppression Olympic-y which is also not good and was not my intent. Er, again, not that intent is magic.
@ Pecunium
I definitely know what you mean about pull ups, I have mass and a lot of muscle in my chest and long arms so pull ups are extremely difficult for me. But it all goes with functionality. Having trained for years in Kenpo, I developed more of a close in punching style with the ultimate goal being to close and use elbows and knees to finish a fight quickly.
@ Howard
I agree on the functionality part, I lift heavier weights and try to use pliometrics to increase the fast twitch muscles.
@katz, Yup, she does have an adult male cat she described as “a very friendly (to people and other cats) Siamese mix” who is apparently lonely since they lost their other cat last Fall. She’s going to let me know next week after they spend the weekend cooing over the pictures. If they are still interested, how should they contact you — through your blog (the Chimaera one)? If you don’t want to answer here, you can email me at cloudiah [at] gmail
Thank you for clearing that up. 😉
Seriously Argenti Aertheri, what is that?
@joanimal- It’s rot13 encrypted. go to http://www.rot13.com, and the correct letters will show up.
Cloudiah, I emailed you and anyone interested can email me at that address. FYI, I’m out of town this weekend.
@augochlorella
I wonder why 😛 Are lots of canes that expensive? It’s like…a lot. Um, rambling. All my caffeine just hit me, so I may be a little rambly.
@kittehs
for me it’d be ‘but then I’d be walking around…holding…a bull’s penis’. No logic besides I have the maturity level of a sixth grader XD
@yoyo
Yay! (didn’t hear about the lump in the first thread, but glad to hear that you’re okay :D)
@kittehs
um, I don’t know, but that sounds like a very weird troll O_O
wow, that sounds really confusing… So the troll thought that mr K didn’t exist or was dead? And because of this he wasn’t consenting but…nevermind my brain exploded trying to follow that. Um, feel free to ignore this rambling 😉
(followed the link from argenti aertheri and the troll was baffling O_o)
@ Deoridhe
But my kitten is too cute to change! 😀
And thanks for the tai chi info 🙂
@gillian
😀 Happily accepts hugs.
@ostara
YES. I want to throw this line at them, I swear :/
@howardbann1ster
Kind of incoherent here, but are you snarking that they call it science. Cuz when I first started watching that show and Ed (think Ed said it first) it’s science not alchemy I started cracking up. Still loved it, just made me roll my eyes.
Honestly, if you’re looking at going to chiro, I’d say find someone who calls themselves a “Physical therapist”, with expertise in back pain, instead. The odds of woo-free treatment seems to skyrocket, then. (My wife’s PT when her neck got strained was freakin’ awesome.)