The regulars at PUAhate.com – we’ve met them before — are a strange and bitter bunch. Most seem to be self-loathing so-called “incels” who blame their lack of romantic and sexual success on their average or below-average looks. Rejecting the basic premise of the pickup artist crowd – that average guys can transform themselves into suave lotharios by mastering manipulative pickup formulas – the PUAhate regulars tend to be true believers in what they somewhat pretentiously call “looks theory,” the odd and obviously untrue notion that women only date men with “male model” looks.
As one PUAhater put it recently:
PUA makes you think that all your problems are because of your personality/behaviour – i.e. things you can control. So when you keep failing, it means that YOU are fucking up and doing things wrong
the reality is that many of us just lost the genetic lottery. we are ugly, the wrong race, the wrong height etc, and that fucked us up. there is NOTHING we can do about it
So, naturally, the PUAhaters spend a lot of their time jealous of tall, good-looking men for their supposed monopoly on the women of the world — whom they also hate.
But the strange thing is that the PUAhaters pretty much hate everyone else as well. They get angry when guys they consider ugly score “hot chicks.” They get angry when guys who are good-looking but not male models get attention from “really hot girls.” And so on, and so on, and so on.
Indeed, many of the regulars seem to walk around in a perpetual state of rage, angry at each and every man who’s managed to pair up with a woman, not to mention the women as well.
One regular recently described his “day from hell” to his comrades:
To start the day I saw a couple where it was an average White guy with an OBESE Asian girl. They were walking around acting like they were trying to prove shit. LMAO. I wanted to kick the guy in the fucking nuts for dating that landwhale. If you’re going to use the racial advantage, at least date a girl who is under 300lbs. Later I go to the gym and see the same tall guys I usually do. Even if I had a good face, how the fuck do you compete with guys who are fucking 6’4”?
Then at the gym there’s this good looking White guy there talking to this Asian dude about how Asian girls are easy and how they approach him. To make things worse after that these fucking frat douchebags come in with their girlfriends to show off . Then to cap off the day a girl I used to know from freshman year walks right past me without even saying anything. I used to fucking live next door to this bitch and now she doesn’t even say anything and acts like a pretentious cunt. She’s an Indian girl dating a White dude lmao. Days like today make you wonder why you even still try in the first place.
Of course, as I’ve mentioned before, most of those posting on PUAhate don’t actually seem to be ugly by anyone’s standards but their own, at least judging from the pictures of themselves they sometimes post to the site, which reveal them to be mostly average-looking guys, with some of the regulars even quite conventionally handsome.
But evidently they would rather believe that they have “lost the genetic lottery” rather than face a more obvious explanation for why the girls don’t like them: because they’re shallow, self-obsessed assholes who hate themselves and hate women and radiate their bitterness from every pore. (And some are even creepier than this, like this pedophile – sorry, ephebophile – who’s angry at me personally because unlike him I don’t chase after 15-year-olds. Link NSFW.)
The PUAhaters often talk about getting surgeries to “correct” their supposed genetic flaws. They would do far better to spend that money on therapy.
@kittehs
*whew* *sighs in relief* I know I keep mentioning this, but combined with lack of sleep and this thread going so fast I feel like my comments are coming across all weird. I’m not proofreading as much as I normally do, or thinking as much before posting :/ I normally at least read my comment through once because I tend to have really sharp mood swings, where I’m giddy and hyper one moment and meh and sad the next, so my comment-mood may change a lot between them. Anyway, just makes me more worry that I come off really boundry-not-know-y, or weird.
Thanks, Marie! I’m just hoping it doesn’t turn out to be something structural, because that could mean surgery. Mind you, if it isn’t, I’ve no idea what’s going on or why it isn’t responding to treatment.
I’ll say this much – when the whole back and legs are sore to the point my jaws are involuntarily clenched*, it does take my mind off general anxiety issues! 😛
*omg does this make me INCLENCH?
Tai Chi should not offer you too many options to hurt yourself, if you practice the simple movements (No advanced jump diving backsplits). Pick a soft style and a slow cadence and it’s very, very gentle and easy. Problem though: It also tends to be a combination of breathing and movement, so if you’re not too into breath exercises you might not get as much out of it as you’re hoping (if you’re hoping).
—
As an aside, there’s not too much difference between yoga and tai chi. I mean, sure, there is – obviously – but it boils down to specific movement patterns at the end. You can find yoga that you can do standing, with a few simple movements. Even stuff that doesn’t stress your knees too much if you look for it. I wouldn’t know *Where* though, sorry. My health is almost stupidly good, so I am very wary about saying “Hey! Do this! It’s easy”, since, well, it probably isn’t. Hey isn’t that privilege coming back to haunt us…
—
You might want to look into Qi Gong as well? I had a routine I did every morning for a few months as a test, and it was very easy and simple and offered no direct strain of any muscles. Just sort of a wake-up thing. I think it was based on either Five Elements or Five Animals (One of those motiffs).
Fade – yeah, I asked my osteo about the breathing last night, and she said tai chi does a bit of breathing stuff, but isn’t really focussed on it. It’s more about flow of movement.
On a sore-leg fashion note, I got a gorgeous floral walking stick yesterday. 🙂
@fibinachi
What’s Qi Gong? Never heard of it before.
@kittehs
well, good wishes from over here 🙂
Relatively related, but I just went to the doctor (yesterday) and the good news is I don’t have fibromialgia (sp?) or early arthritis, they just don’t know what it is.
No Tai Chi for me, but I have done some yoga. When I lived in LA, you either did yoga or pilates. Iyengar was really big at the time (more equipment, including straps and blocks, in addition to the basic mat) but Bikram was popular as well. Now I see Bikram everywhere.
I eventually got into Hatha, which has been, in my experience, the most gentle form, most focused on being at the place where you are rather than pushing and pulling and twisting and turning or, alternatively, sweating your ass off in a badly ventilated room full of strangers. Hatha also has less of a focus on the religious/mystic aspects of the practice and tends to focus more on just developing a calm mindset. It’s useful for finding a place of stillness, especially when you’re under a lot of stress.
I’m actually hoping to get back into it soon, just as soon as I clear two really big chunks off my plate. I could use some calm right now…
Pillow in hell — ok, because my immediate response was “oh fuck I didn’t just read that, First Nation people do get actually dangerous racism” and then saw it was you and went all “huh?!” — makes sense now!
FTR, I also have a supposedly Native great grandmother, I’m inclined to believe it, as somewhere around here there’s a photo of a Native woman holding her chopped off braid, but I have no actual proof I’m related to her. Point her is I have no real clue what tribe either, but get the impression it was deliberately um, white washed (literally I guess). But since I look way more Italian, and am for that matter, I know when to STFU!
Semi-related and why I’m babbling, you twitter? If so, check out #OpThunderbird for some awesome First Nation women doing so awesome work regarding the intersection of racism and misogyny. Utter respect for those ladies!
“(No advanced jump diving backsplits)”
LOL not even at my fittest would that have been happening! I’ll leave the athletics to the Mister.
@kittehs
That sounds pretty 🙂
I should probably check out tai-chi then 😀 Only bad thing is the karate dojo I go to I can kind of go w/o paying (my dad works there and me and my sister can go for free) so I’m not sure where I’d conjur the money for tai-chi classes. But I’ll have to at least talk to someone about it 🙂
@Kittehs.
Ah, that’s actually mildly comforting, considering the breathing katas in the system of karate I practice freaking hurt for reasons I am not sure of* and some gentler breathing would be nice.
The only problem is if I start Tai Chi, I’ll have to pay for my martial arts**
*aka probably fibromyalgia
**Right now, my dad teaches some classes and our family gets in free 😀
lol, ninja’d by my own sister.
actually, now that I read that again, it sounds really, really painful. And my legs work fine, it’s just my back that sucks.
Tai chi, I’ve tried it. The one I tried used visualizations in addition to the forms. I don’t have breathing problems so using the breathing patterns didn’t bother me. I do have a foot with several poorly healed microfractures and I had no problems with doing the excercises beyond my general poor coordination and a strong tendency to do thIngs left handed. You get as much or as little excercise as you want just by slight variations in speed and posture, I found. Also, there are different types of Tai Chi, designed to help with different things.
I wanted to meditate, but can’t sit still or focus on emptying my brain the way most meditations work. I like the flexibility of yoga, but the forms throw me off and I end up strangely upset afterwards.
Wait, am I fully stoned now? Are Marie and Fade sisters?
Qigong? Fancy word for breath and movement practices. Uh, sorry. “Ancient Chinese Practice of health and vitality accumulating exercises, in relation to expanding human potential, as one focuses and channels energy from self and the world.”
Something like this:
I liked it. Although you should strip away anything with the phrase “Energy” in it. Energy energy energy.
@Argenti
My father is hispanic, but looking at me you would never guess. When people know they then tell me that it shows in my hair, but if they didn’t know they would never think that.
Ack! And if you don’t want to say, whether you are or not, just change the topic to bubbles!
… Sorry, thought that would just link, not implement. Mea culpa.
Gillian — in a word, yes.
Marie, that’s great news about it NOT being fibromyalgia or arthritis!
Fibinachi – I know zip about Qi Gong, bar the name. I’ll do a bit of reading.
Gillian – yeah, the religious basis of yoga’s one of the things that puts me off about it, I have to admit.
@ Gillian
Yeah. I think I mentioned that in my first comment to clarify I wasn’t a sock (since we share the same IP address when we’re in the same house) but that one got read by no one since it was in a quick moving thread and it went through the waiting approval process all of the comments do.
Which means I can repeat my line there:
Manboobz! Fun for the whole family!
@Gillian
I don’t mind saying (and if she didn’t mind saying she probably wouldn’t have mentioned it XD)
but yes. Word of mouth, same website find. Bad sentence bad. Um, …I’m incoherent atm, but maybe one day that sentence will make sense.
@Fibinachi
Thanks for info 🙂 Just unfamiliar w/ it.
I heard some about that but not much. Wondering outloud….gah why am I so rambly in the night.
Anyway, if you don’t mind answering, is it a any religious thing, or was it implemented in a way that made you uncomfortable or…idk rambles. I’m just curious how it worked.
You guys tell me if I get too annoying/ hard to follow.
Hey cool, I had no idea you were sisters! 🙂
The walking stick’s black with pink and pale green roses all over it. Aaaand on that note I gotta use it, time for me to commute!
Qi Gong is the tai chi I tried. It uses visualizations of Chi energy as meditation as you move through the forms.
Argenti, I live right next door to a local native center! And yes, the Thunderbird movement is doing a TON of good work.
Jones, your story is why I don’t post on any MRA site. I just don’t trust those idjits because I’ve heard of women being doxxed.