The regulars at PUAhate.com – we’ve met them before — are a strange and bitter bunch. Most seem to be self-loathing so-called “incels” who blame their lack of romantic and sexual success on their average or below-average looks. Rejecting the basic premise of the pickup artist crowd – that average guys can transform themselves into suave lotharios by mastering manipulative pickup formulas – the PUAhate regulars tend to be true believers in what they somewhat pretentiously call “looks theory,” the odd and obviously untrue notion that women only date men with “male model” looks.
As one PUAhater put it recently:
PUA makes you think that all your problems are because of your personality/behaviour – i.e. things you can control. So when you keep failing, it means that YOU are fucking up and doing things wrong
the reality is that many of us just lost the genetic lottery. we are ugly, the wrong race, the wrong height etc, and that fucked us up. there is NOTHING we can do about it
So, naturally, the PUAhaters spend a lot of their time jealous of tall, good-looking men for their supposed monopoly on the women of the world — whom they also hate.
But the strange thing is that the PUAhaters pretty much hate everyone else as well. They get angry when guys they consider ugly score “hot chicks.” They get angry when guys who are good-looking but not male models get attention from “really hot girls.” And so on, and so on, and so on.
Indeed, many of the regulars seem to walk around in a perpetual state of rage, angry at each and every man who’s managed to pair up with a woman, not to mention the women as well.
One regular recently described his “day from hell” to his comrades:
To start the day I saw a couple where it was an average White guy with an OBESE Asian girl. They were walking around acting like they were trying to prove shit. LMAO. I wanted to kick the guy in the fucking nuts for dating that landwhale. If you’re going to use the racial advantage, at least date a girl who is under 300lbs. Later I go to the gym and see the same tall guys I usually do. Even if I had a good face, how the fuck do you compete with guys who are fucking 6’4”?
Then at the gym there’s this good looking White guy there talking to this Asian dude about how Asian girls are easy and how they approach him. To make things worse after that these fucking frat douchebags come in with their girlfriends to show off . Then to cap off the day a girl I used to know from freshman year walks right past me without even saying anything. I used to fucking live next door to this bitch and now she doesn’t even say anything and acts like a pretentious cunt. She’s an Indian girl dating a White dude lmao. Days like today make you wonder why you even still try in the first place.
Of course, as I’ve mentioned before, most of those posting on PUAhate don’t actually seem to be ugly by anyone’s standards but their own, at least judging from the pictures of themselves they sometimes post to the site, which reveal them to be mostly average-looking guys, with some of the regulars even quite conventionally handsome.
But evidently they would rather believe that they have “lost the genetic lottery” rather than face a more obvious explanation for why the girls don’t like them: because they’re shallow, self-obsessed assholes who hate themselves and hate women and radiate their bitterness from every pore. (And some are even creepier than this, like this pedophile – sorry, ephebophile – who’s angry at me personally because unlike him I don’t chase after 15-year-olds. Link NSFW.)
The PUAhaters often talk about getting surgeries to “correct” their supposed genetic flaws. They would do far better to spend that money on therapy.
Itsallaboutyouyouyou: Did you even bother to read this thread? If you had, you would have seen exactly what we’ve been dealing with and why we didn’t strew your path with rose petals and pop the champagne when you showed up.
Okay, I read some of your old comments, and I think the reason people assume you are a troll is first your username.*
*Haven’t read too much, so there is a huge chance I missed something.
I think that comment was a dig at feminists and you thinking they blamed men for everything… but you also blamed society for men not being able to wear make up… so one would think you’d be able to understand feminists blaming society and the patriarchy for lots of the problems it addresses… It’s not blaming you, dude.
Shiraz: what kind of wine you hitting?
“Idk about the get a date thing (I just skimmed most of the comments, so I can’t tell if you mentioned dating at all* but someone calling you blind to your privilege IS NOT ANTI MALE.”
So by just grouping me in with all the other young men who are blind to their privilege she isn’t treating me different because of my gender?
“It is.. jeez. You have male privilege because you are man. Okay? This includes things like statistically higher pay than a woman of your same situation (race, background, education), generally taken as more competent, not really expected to change your last name or take on most of the housework in a marriage…”
In addition to those great privileges of being more likely to commit suicide or be incarcerated.
“If it was that date thing, ask someone who has been reading the comments all the way.”
Its fine, I shouldn’t expect you to explain what has been said by others anyway.
Marie Go! Sleep! (unless you don’t want to). I just thought I’d check in while waiting for my meds to kick in. The weather is still playing hell with the pain levels.
By the way, how did the osteo appointment go, Kittehs? And someone else was also having some pain issues?
Had a good laugh about Looksie Lou over dinner and one of my housemates had a great perspective on the whine. Looksie reminded him of guys he went to high school with (all boys Jesuit school) who, as he put it, would “rather be right than be happy.” (For a given value of right, I suppose, mostly having to do with being able to get people to be mean to them by acting like a cockwad and thus proving that people were always being mean to them.)
Even when well meaning friends would try to give them good, solid, simple advice, they would rather argue about how other people should treat him first, or bring up all the people who he felt were already guilty of not having been nice to him and therefore were not worthy of anything but his contempt.
Sound familiar?
Nah, I didn’t think so… 😉
He also reminded me of this
“Cynicism is often the shamefaced product of inexperience.” – A. J. Liebling
I love my housemates!
the negative effects of patriarchy are not misandry.
the negative effects of patriarchy are not misandry.
the negative effects of patriarchy are not misandry.
Also, go back up to Argenti Aertheri’s post. She explained well to you. I don’t know where teh suicide thing comes from, but men go to prison more often because women are seen as weak and helpless. Even though it affects men negatively it women too, and like I said, the patriarchy does have negative effects on men, just not as many.
@Marie I am on here at work.
Which is why 1) I’m not making insightful comments
@) why I haven’t read EVERY comment.
@Marie I am on here at work.
Which is why 1) I’m not making insightful comments
2) why I haven’t read EVERY comment.
oh, dang dramatic line fail
*giggles*
that should be the negative effects of patriarchy ON MEN are not misandry
@melody
oh sorry. Did I say something that made it sound like I thought you should have read every comment? They’ve been going fast today, so I can’t remember well :/
“yeah, I went back to the conversation before I engaged you and it just looked like it was about balding so…. if you have a problem with that you’re going to have to talk to whoever you have the problem with. Difficult as it to believe, us feminists are not a hivemind”
Sure, I just hope you can appreciate why I might have been slightly distressed now. I will go back and re read what you wrote earlier too, I’ve just been slightly distracted. Thanks for your responses anyway.
“Itsallaboutyouyouyou: Did you even bother to read this thread? If you had, you would have seen exactly what we’ve been dealing with and why we didn’t strew your path with rose petals and pop the champagne when you showed up.”
I didn’t expect you to. I just hoped you might be able to judge me on what I say, not what other males before me, or on a site I have read from said.
@Marie
Nope you are fine. I was responding to several comments you’ve made. One on this page asking if anybody was tired.
I am at work….
And there were a couple comments and I aimed them all at you.
I’m not certain you were the one who made them.
So, confused right now.
@ ItsAllAboutPersonalityJKlolololol
You may have noticed my suspicious cat. My cat is suspicious of you.
My cat is suspicious that you came here looking for a productive discussion at all. My cat suspects this because someone looking for a productive discussion does not behave the way you did – aggressive assertions, ignoring the points of others, disrespectful approach, etc. Oh, and your username certainly doesn’t say, “Hi. I’m here because I’d like to talk about some things you may disagree with, but I promise I will utilize appropriate discourse and won’t be an asshat even a little bit.”
If you’re really looking for your points to be heard, or to persuade people to see your side, you may want to rethink your approach. If you just want to vomit your rage on strange women on the internet, though, it looks like you’ve got your method down pat.
He’s still wanking on and on? They never do leave when they promise to.
…
higher rate of being incarcerated because HIGHER RATE OF COMMITTING CRIMES.
Though I think male judges tend to give female defendants lighter sentences due to viewing them as less capable which… lets wait for it… goes back to SEXISM (not some kind of reverse man sexism). Female judges give female defendants HIGHER sentences.
Yeah, and as for higher rate of suicide, I am not sure if I’ve seen stats on that… but if it is so, it is something that should be addressed, but wait for it… DOES NOT NEGATE MALE PRIVILEGE.
Let’s list this:
The (not in use any more) draft: A portion of boys got drafted into the army, and ALL of them (all the boys, not just all the ones in the army) got the reward of being treated as more competent and capable that girls, and ALL of them got higher pay or access to better jobs.
Higher rate of being incarcerated: I actually do think men are socialized as more violent than women, which shockingly often backfires on women… because men commit crimes against then. Have you ever heard of a woman shooting men randomly because she blamed all men for not getting dates? Because.. I could swear that happened (that guy in the gym a while back… ugh, I don’t really want to remember it, but does anyone know what I’m talking about?)
And if you’re going to try to use suicide statistics for evidence of “negating” male privilige (hint, it does really not), you might as well argue back that 1/6 women is raped, which is way more than the porportion of men who commit suicide.
And if you’re going to compare statistics like commiting suicide…
*another theory for why guys commit suicide more often is they are socialized that sadness is wussy and they should just be angry so they are not really helped when they are depressed. Which still needs feminism, since it actually addresses that men can be depressed or victims sometimes and they do not have to be He-Man-Tough-Guy all the time, like in the patriarchy.
And dude… you are acting… I don’t know if blind is the right word* but really, really IGNORANT about your privilege. So it’s not anti male to group you into that group of other guys who are really ignorant about it.
*Anyone feel like that has ableist connotations? I’m not really sure.
@melody
Ok 🙂 I was just making sure I wasn’t making an ass out of myself. Going to go back and check now and see if I missed a comment you made at me.
Oh man.
If I walked onto a site about racism and said “once, I walked into a business and they stopped and frisked me cause they thought I was native canadian” or “once I went to a bar, and the bartender refused to serve me because they thought I was native canadian” and that site was predominently POC and their white allies, I GET MY ASS HANDED TO ME. And rightfully so. Do you know why? Because an instance or two of being treated poorly gives me only the slightest hint of what its like to be POC. And because there’s a ton of shit that happens to oppressed people, and they learn very young just how much they need to fear it and how very little they can do about it. That space I walked into was probably a tiny little safe spot, where they could talk about things that bothered them and share ideas on how to overcome racism. It was not likely put there to personally spoonfeed a total ignoramus like me who sincerely believes my one experience puts me on the same footing.
That’s why there’s 101 blogs.
You want to discuss things? Then do some background reading. When you come back to ask questions, make sure its not something that’s been said eleventy million times, or that you just need a quick clarification of a simple point.
When I wanted to better understand racism, I lurked on a few blogs for months. I did some research and I did a lot of thinking. But most of all, I worked to get over myself and realize that my one or two experiences weren’t a water molecule in the ocean.
If you do that, you’ll still make an ass of yourself and piss some people off. Keep working on it and you’ll get better.
Don’t laugh, hellkell — Shiraz, Milton Park Thorn-Clark.
Effing insufficiently nice to asshats? Srsly? Have yourself a trollhouse cookie and STFU!
Now my post feels pointless, because Pillow in Hell just explained it perfectly.
QFT.
@gillian
omg I missed your comment!
(so my brain remembers what I’m responding to, incase everyone’s curious why I blockquote almost everything that’s not super recent)
I do need sleep, but I have friday off 🙂 And talking with you guys is so worth it 😀
What you say is what every clueless jag says when they wander in here all wide-eyed and excited because THEY HAVE THE ANSWERS, and will set us feminists straight!
No dude, you just wanted your ass kissed and to be fed all your information. Go away, baby bird.
Negative attention isn’t the kind you want.
Ho lee shit, it’s the jilted guypocalypse over here! I cannot believe I have been missing the fun!!
THINGS THE MRAS TAUGHT ME ABOUT MYSELF TODAY
1. I am only attracted to men for their looks. When deciding whether to have sex with a man, I don’t take any other factors into account.
1a. Except maybe $MONEY$.
2. Furthermore, I am only attracted to a very specific male type: men who star in blockbuster action movies aimed primarily at men. All other men are hideous to me, and I would never have sex with anyone who is not the star of a film franchise based on a Marvel comic.
3. Men ask me out on dates every day of my life.
4. When guys holler “Nice tits, wanna fuck?” from half a block away while their buddies snigger, they are making a sincere and heartfelt offer of sensitive lovemaking. I really ought to respond more graciously.