The regulars at PUAhate.com – we’ve met them before — are a strange and bitter bunch. Most seem to be self-loathing so-called “incels” who blame their lack of romantic and sexual success on their average or below-average looks. Rejecting the basic premise of the pickup artist crowd – that average guys can transform themselves into suave lotharios by mastering manipulative pickup formulas – the PUAhate regulars tend to be true believers in what they somewhat pretentiously call “looks theory,” the odd and obviously untrue notion that women only date men with “male model” looks.
As one PUAhater put it recently:
PUA makes you think that all your problems are because of your personality/behaviour – i.e. things you can control. So when you keep failing, it means that YOU are fucking up and doing things wrong
the reality is that many of us just lost the genetic lottery. we are ugly, the wrong race, the wrong height etc, and that fucked us up. there is NOTHING we can do about it
So, naturally, the PUAhaters spend a lot of their time jealous of tall, good-looking men for their supposed monopoly on the women of the world — whom they also hate.
But the strange thing is that the PUAhaters pretty much hate everyone else as well. They get angry when guys they consider ugly score “hot chicks.” They get angry when guys who are good-looking but not male models get attention from “really hot girls.” And so on, and so on, and so on.
Indeed, many of the regulars seem to walk around in a perpetual state of rage, angry at each and every man who’s managed to pair up with a woman, not to mention the women as well.
One regular recently described his “day from hell” to his comrades:
To start the day I saw a couple where it was an average White guy with an OBESE Asian girl. They were walking around acting like they were trying to prove shit. LMAO. I wanted to kick the guy in the fucking nuts for dating that landwhale. If you’re going to use the racial advantage, at least date a girl who is under 300lbs. Later I go to the gym and see the same tall guys I usually do. Even if I had a good face, how the fuck do you compete with guys who are fucking 6’4”?
Then at the gym there’s this good looking White guy there talking to this Asian dude about how Asian girls are easy and how they approach him. To make things worse after that these fucking frat douchebags come in with their girlfriends to show off . Then to cap off the day a girl I used to know from freshman year walks right past me without even saying anything. I used to fucking live next door to this bitch and now she doesn’t even say anything and acts like a pretentious cunt. She’s an Indian girl dating a White dude lmao. Days like today make you wonder why you even still try in the first place.
Of course, as I’ve mentioned before, most of those posting on PUAhate don’t actually seem to be ugly by anyone’s standards but their own, at least judging from the pictures of themselves they sometimes post to the site, which reveal them to be mostly average-looking guys, with some of the regulars even quite conventionally handsome.
But evidently they would rather believe that they have “lost the genetic lottery” rather than face a more obvious explanation for why the girls don’t like them: because they’re shallow, self-obsessed assholes who hate themselves and hate women and radiate their bitterness from every pore. (And some are even creepier than this, like this pedophile – sorry, ephebophile – who’s angry at me personally because unlike him I don’t chase after 15-year-olds. Link NSFW.)
The PUAhaters often talk about getting surgeries to “correct” their supposed genetic flaws. They would do far better to spend that money on therapy.
Dude, the reason you’re getting zero dates is because you are a rage filled racist bag of shit. Because of this, I have zero fucks to give about you. Bed, made, LIE, motherfuckers.
The only thing that couple was proving is that they aren’t hopeless assholes like the OP.
So this guy’s idea of a “day from hell” is a bunch of people walking around just kind of existing at him? He has not led as hard a life as he thinks.
Thinking about it, I actually don’t think I know anyone who hasn’t had at least one prolonged “dry spell” in their lives, whether it’s because of health issues, lifestyle, bad luck, etc. regardless of how conventionally attractive they are. Hell, I know someone who was literally a model and very social, and she didn’t even have her first kiss until she was 22. It’s almost like human relationships are complex things based on more than just physical appearance!
Well, you know, for someone who has dedicated his/her life to destroying all existence, walking around having people exist at you is pretty bad.
ostara321: Honestly, it’s very difficult to grow up in this society without some of those feelings. I hate to be all “what about the menz”, but the pressure on guys to find a narrow range of media-dictated beauty attractive is there. I got a lot of shit from my peers for expressing attraction for women who were considered too old, or two fat, or too skinny, or too ugly compared to the media stereotype.
All that just helps feed back into the cycle of dudeshit.
@Dvärghundspossen
I found it.
@Everybody
If you didn’t read this the first time, you should go have a look at it. 🙂
It’s like MRAs are antihappymatter, and any time they encounter happymatter they explode.
How do you tell if you are an incel?
Do you have a website that uses the word “bitches” non-ironically? You might be an incel.
The most baffling part about the PUAHate group (or most MRAs, really) is that they can read through their own statements and still not see how their attitudes drive people away. If someone talked about them like that, they’d go ballistic!
I think way too many of these guys watched really bad tv shows/movies growing up and imprinted on them. Sort of like baby ducks. Only not so cute and fluffy.
Re: Wikipedia’s incel page. Wow, there really are a lot of [citation needed]s, aren’t there? Plus, if you examine most of the citations, a lot of them are newspaper and magazine articles rather than scientific literature.
Read their own stuff? I was under the impression that they did stream of consciousness writing. Just sat down in front of a keyboard without thinking about what they were saying or reading it afterwards.
I think the Wikipedia incel page is a hot mess. It’s written as though it’s a real, known phenomenon, whereas it ought to be written from a sociological perspective about the subculture and their beliefs.
Aworldanon, invest in some flip flops. Getting clean is good; getting athlete’s foot is not.
Yep. I had this happen to me too, more than once actually. A guy friend who I assumed would never be into me because I was taller, fatter, awkward, and by conventional standards, far less attractive, confessed that yeah, he was pretty into me and I was so flabberghasted that I rejected him. I had so bought into the idea that I was hideous and horrible and that no one would ever want me that I had no idea what to do with someone actively pursuing me.
Yes, definitely. I’m certain these PUA haters think I’m totes lying, but I generally don’t go for the “male model” body type. I remember my beau joking after we watched Batman that he would never look like Christian Bale and I was like “um, that’s good, because while I can recognize that he is conventionally attractive, he doesn’t do it for me.”
Right, I know that that is definitely a thing. For a while that knowledge was part of my own self-pity as well. I’d be all “even if a dude IS attracted to me he’ll never say so because, FRIENDS!!!”
But again, eventually I realized that apart from being inaccurate, my assumptions were totally self-defeating. It wouldn’t matter how pretty I was if couldn’t learn how to deal with someone flirting with me, or hell, even learn to talk to someone for starters.
Do self-proclaimed incels &c really want to find a relationship or sex?
Because sometimes it’s not socially not acceptable to not want this and everybody around gets very concerned about this. What is more acceptable is to have really high beauty standards( he has a very good taste), so if the beauty standrads are set to the top, you can increase the chance of failure. Sending poor messages and whining about women’s impossible standards will be seen as proof that you are actively trying.
Wellcan there be something like the Producers going on.
I think talacris’s post is a fine example of how it’s impossible to make this shit even sound like it makes sense.
In spite of my unfortunate situation and the smelliness caused by it, I couldn’t be happier, though I really ought to just brave the showers more, I might just be lazy.
Not caught up!
“I don’t know what CBT means to you, but in this context with what it means to me, it’s hilarious.”
*dies laughing* I forget that it also means that — in context, cognitive behavioral therapy. Really truly in context, changing their reactions to being ignored, turned down, etc.
No anatomy was tortured in the making of this comment, for masochist pleasure or otherwise!
Eh, I do actually tend to think that perhaps subconsciously, some of them engage in this kind of shit that only pushes people away because they aren’t actually ready for a relationship or sex. I think that was sort of the case for me. Part of my learning how to date (how to reject and be rejected) was a big realization that I actually probably did a lot of the shit I did in my late teens/early 20’s because I wasn’t actually ready for a big serious relationship and was afraid of sex. It was weirdly liberating to realize that deep down I actually probably wanted to be single for a while and that yes, I definitely pushed people away because of that.
Obviously, that’s not an excuse to engage in rank misogyny and racism and I don’t necessarily think that guys like this are the majority of incels. But I don’t think it’s altogether unlikely for this sort of thing to apply to a portion of them either.
aworldanonymous — just don’t take a shift in the cafe dish room until you’re on speaking terms with the showers. Having to capitulate to using them while covered in spoiled milk is teh suck. (And Latin is great for SAT scores btw!)
talacaris, I think that might be the case for some people you might meet in real life or who casually post to message boards about it–you know, who occasionally whine about not meeting women’s high standards or whatever, but not generally bringing it up themselves or making a big deal of it.
But for people who are part of the “incel” communities or who post downright hateful stuff like David tracks down? I don’t think so. If they didn’t want a relationship, why would it consume them so much? Some of those guys seem to spend as much time thinking/posting/talking about dating as other people spend actually dating.
I think it’s possible that they don’t want an actual relationship in the sense of a mutually-respectful bond with a partner, but I think most of them want to have sex.
@kiki – there’s one cock there, but the rest are hens, I think. That guy is a totally slutty slut mcslutster and he’s not even an alphagod! 😛
[quote]Puey T. Hater: “Women hate me and no one will date me because I am physically hideous!”
Random woman: “You aren’t hideous, really. Just try being relaxed and asking a girl out.”
PTH: “Hideous! Children run away from me in the street! Grandmothers try to beat me with their canes!”
Random woman: “No, really. You’re being too hard on yourself. Women aren’t a monolith and if you just tried…”
PTH: “I’m completely horrific! I work out at the gym three hours a day and women who live by me won’t evey say hello to me as they walk by!!”
Random woman: “Seriously, look at that guy over there. He’s no more attractive than you are and he has a girlfriend…”
PTH: “Look at HIM?!? He’s a dickwad and she’s totally not worth someone like him!!”
Random woman: “Okay, I think I’m beginning to get a sense of what your problem might be.”
PTH: “What the fuck do you know, you lying, skanky status whore?!”
Random woman: “Wow, you really are a dick, aren’t you?” Turns away and pretends PTH doesn’t exist.
PTH: “See, I’m so physically horrible!! Women won’t even talk to me!! Woe! WOE!!”[/quote]
I shit you not, I have HAD this ENTIRE conversation with a young man I met two years ago, who seemed really down. He was a nice looking bloke, lovely blonde hair, defined features and glasses. Little overweight, but barely.
He later got my number from a mutual friend, sent me multitudes of texts over the next 24 hours, including texts asking me if I wanted to date him, with follow up texts when I didn’t reply to moan about how I’m shallow and repulsed by his appearance, thus my silence.
Yep, only one cock, the rest are hens. Buff orpingtons.
Which reminds me, I’m going to have to insist on chickens on Manboobz Island.
Chickens, hell yes we will! There’s people in my ‘hood who have the most awesome fluffy butt chickens. I love them and want to hug them.
I miss having quails. They really did a number on the cockroach population.