The regulars at PUAhate.com – we’ve met them before — are a strange and bitter bunch. Most seem to be self-loathing so-called “incels” who blame their lack of romantic and sexual success on their average or below-average looks. Rejecting the basic premise of the pickup artist crowd – that average guys can transform themselves into suave lotharios by mastering manipulative pickup formulas – the PUAhate regulars tend to be true believers in what they somewhat pretentiously call “looks theory,” the odd and obviously untrue notion that women only date men with “male model” looks.
As one PUAhater put it recently:
PUA makes you think that all your problems are because of your personality/behaviour – i.e. things you can control. So when you keep failing, it means that YOU are fucking up and doing things wrong
the reality is that many of us just lost the genetic lottery. we are ugly, the wrong race, the wrong height etc, and that fucked us up. there is NOTHING we can do about it
So, naturally, the PUAhaters spend a lot of their time jealous of tall, good-looking men for their supposed monopoly on the women of the world — whom they also hate.
But the strange thing is that the PUAhaters pretty much hate everyone else as well. They get angry when guys they consider ugly score “hot chicks.” They get angry when guys who are good-looking but not male models get attention from “really hot girls.” And so on, and so on, and so on.
Indeed, many of the regulars seem to walk around in a perpetual state of rage, angry at each and every man who’s managed to pair up with a woman, not to mention the women as well.
One regular recently described his “day from hell” to his comrades:
To start the day I saw a couple where it was an average White guy with an OBESE Asian girl. They were walking around acting like they were trying to prove shit. LMAO. I wanted to kick the guy in the fucking nuts for dating that landwhale. If you’re going to use the racial advantage, at least date a girl who is under 300lbs. Later I go to the gym and see the same tall guys I usually do. Even if I had a good face, how the fuck do you compete with guys who are fucking 6’4”?
Then at the gym there’s this good looking White guy there talking to this Asian dude about how Asian girls are easy and how they approach him. To make things worse after that these fucking frat douchebags come in with their girlfriends to show off . Then to cap off the day a girl I used to know from freshman year walks right past me without even saying anything. I used to fucking live next door to this bitch and now she doesn’t even say anything and acts like a pretentious cunt. She’s an Indian girl dating a White dude lmao. Days like today make you wonder why you even still try in the first place.
Of course, as I’ve mentioned before, most of those posting on PUAhate don’t actually seem to be ugly by anyone’s standards but their own, at least judging from the pictures of themselves they sometimes post to the site, which reveal them to be mostly average-looking guys, with some of the regulars even quite conventionally handsome.
But evidently they would rather believe that they have “lost the genetic lottery” rather than face a more obvious explanation for why the girls don’t like them: because they’re shallow, self-obsessed assholes who hate themselves and hate women and radiate their bitterness from every pore. (And some are even creepier than this, like this pedophile – sorry, ephebophile – who’s angry at me personally because unlike him I don’t chase after 15-year-olds. Link NSFW.)
The PUAhaters often talk about getting surgeries to “correct” their supposed genetic flaws. They would do far better to spend that money on therapy.
@Looks-guy
A vast majority of the men pecunium mentioned are considered Hollywood institutions (as leading men). Just because not every single one has been in a blockbuster from the past year or two does not change that. And to that list of not conventionally attractive men who somehow seem to be in LOTS of popular movies, I would like to add Tom Hanks, Michael Cera, Seth Rogan, Vince Vaughn, Owen Wilson (my own personal opinion).
For the record, of your list I do NOT find Christian Bale, Andrew Garfield, Chris Hemsworth, Daniel Craig, OR Robert Pattinson attractive. It’s almost like people are individuals who like or dislike certain characteristics. And honestly, a lot of people fall in love with the CHARACTER that actor is playing, which makes them seem more attractive in real life.
Lastly, since you managed to ignore the other comment about this, I dare you to come up with a list of women who are not considered conventionally attractive that is even HALF as long as the list we have come up with. It is not just MEN being given unrealistic standards for looks in HOLLYWOOD, stupid. And in fact, you’ll find men in Hollywood have a broader range in which they can be considered “attractive” than women are.
(Sorry all, this is a pet peeve of mine, the Hollywood standards are so patently obvious.)
See the way you feel about Gosling= Halo Effect.
We tend to feel positive things about people who are attractive.
“I don’t know what it is, he seems interesting”!!
Its because you like how he looks and are responding appropriately man!
Its not a sin to like how someone Looks feminists.
As far as the Avengers cast, Robert Downey Jr. is hotter than Hemsworth and Evans combined. Then, I suppose Jeremy Renner. The rest (save Mark Ruffalo) are all to pretty for me. Of course the hottest guy in the movie (and in the Iron Man movies as well) was never actually on screen (just his voice).
Ahhh… Paul Bettany. Nice to look at AND talented.
RE Falling in love with the character rather than the actor, yep. That’s why I like Cheadle even though he’s not tall and wispy like the guys I usually go for. It’s also why I like Kaneshiro so much – sure, he’s gorgeous, but what really makes him stick in my mind in a way a lot of equally pretty actors don’t is that he’s consistently played characters that I’ve really liked.
(Also why I didn’t like him as much in House of Flying Daggers even though he looked great – the character wasn’t very likeable.)
Am I the only one heartless and evil enough not to give a solitary crap if whatshisface is suicidal and anxious? Maybe it’s ’cause I’m leaving for my own therapy in half an hour, but being a mess doesn’t actually make you behave like an obnoxious troll. So he can stuff it about the suicide or, frankly, put his money where his mouth is and get treatment.
No, but it’s the height of arrogance to assume that your standards are universal because SCIENCE!!!!
Say it with me, “Women are people too”. Individual people, individual preferences.
@ Bagelsan
Nope. Although I might care more if I thought he was being sincere and not just trolling again.
Oh, FFS. Keep telling us our thoughts and opinions, because we don’t know ourselves. You, a stranger on the internet, are going to mansplain it all to us. You are fucking ridiculous.
Oh no! By not finding certain men hot we ladies have lost the right to find any men hot, or else be hypocrites! Guess it’s time to start that lesbian commune.
Yep, what CassandraSaid
Character =/= Actor.
I <3 Captain Jack Harkness. (And would have a chance with him! So would you Looksdude)
Pretty sure not the same for John Barrowman.
But from a physical POV I don’t think Gosling is very attractive. He has pretty eyes, but he’s too buff and too blonde and too masculine looking for me. It’s the personality that makes him appealing.
@Cassandra Back when Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy came out, Gary Oldman did the rounds of all the shows and made me swoon all over again. Incredible talent, warm and engaging personality, and a great, self-deprecating sense of humor.
Oh, and he was in Batman too, so he’s still getting jobs.
I must be some kind of cat-phile, because I find most of the people on this thread very interesting and attractive but they all look like cats! I must be attributing positive traits to them based on my subconscious urge to sleep with anime cats.
Oldman I love in more of a yeah, man, pick those pieces of scenery out of your teeth way. He’s just so hilariously over the top.
What’s ironic (pay close attention Jeffries) is that I have spent most of my adult life dating men who -physically at least- pretty much all fit the bill. Don’t get me wrong, I love men so I haven’t exclusively dated within the confines of “my type” but that’s been the majority.
And then I fell head over heels in love with somebody who is a big, bearded, barrel-chested, goofy, teddy bear of a man (adorable and sexy to be sure) who looks more like Scrubs era Donald Faison then the dark, slinky, slightly bug-eyed, seemingly intellectual types I’ve always favored.
What can you do?
We tend to feel positive things toward actors who play characters we like.
BTW soap operas are a great example some of the actors who played villains in soap operas were reviled by the fans of the show. They DISLIKED the actor because of the character they played.
Whereas I’m finding Bagelsan’s weird yellow abstract icon really hot right now. Who knew I had a geometry kink?
starsitka: *sigh* Captain Jack Harkness. 😀
On John Barrowman–just based on the wikipedia article, I’m finding him more attractive already.
(but I’m a non-Whovian, so that’s my first real exposure to him anyway)
(exposure is funnier in this context if you’ve read the link)
It is not just MEN
being given unrealistic standards for
looks in HOLLYWOOD, stupid
^^^
This is another thing I wanted to point out.
Why do women complain about “unrealistic” Hollywood standards.
I don’t complain about Hardy, Hemsworth, they are very realistic to me.
They aren’t holograms. They are men who have won the genetic lottery.
I’ll never understand the fat acceptance movement against “unrealistic” hollywood standards.
To me its just women getting butthurt that they didn’t luck out and win Kate Upton/ Megan Good Genes.
Also, don’t people often seem hotter once you get to know and like them? I always am more physically attracted to people after liking them as people. YMMV but I’m sure my experiences aren’t unique.
Looks_Low: Dude… if it’s, “SCIENCE” and there’s nothing to be done… suck it up. You lost the “genetic lottery” and aren’t gonna get any nookie. Too bad.
But you don’t think that. You think you deserve some action, but the, “stuck up bitches” won’t give you a tumble.
So, on the face of your raging about how “unfair” the way things are is… you don’t believe what you say.
Looksie: Men do the asking out
Thank god you are wrong, or my early sex life would have been a lot less active (as in non-existent).
“Gosling never did anything for me until I saw how sweet and funny and down to earth he seemed in interviews. Now I like him.”
Yeah, I was really apathetic about him until I read this story about how he learned knitting from some extras and said it was one of the best days of his life. Suddenly my heart exploded into fluff.