The regulars at PUAhate.com – we’ve met them before — are a strange and bitter bunch. Most seem to be self-loathing so-called “incels” who blame their lack of romantic and sexual success on their average or below-average looks. Rejecting the basic premise of the pickup artist crowd – that average guys can transform themselves into suave lotharios by mastering manipulative pickup formulas – the PUAhate regulars tend to be true believers in what they somewhat pretentiously call “looks theory,” the odd and obviously untrue notion that women only date men with “male model” looks.
As one PUAhater put it recently:
PUA makes you think that all your problems are because of your personality/behaviour – i.e. things you can control. So when you keep failing, it means that YOU are fucking up and doing things wrong
the reality is that many of us just lost the genetic lottery. we are ugly, the wrong race, the wrong height etc, and that fucked us up. there is NOTHING we can do about it
So, naturally, the PUAhaters spend a lot of their time jealous of tall, good-looking men for their supposed monopoly on the women of the world — whom they also hate.
But the strange thing is that the PUAhaters pretty much hate everyone else as well. They get angry when guys they consider ugly score “hot chicks.” They get angry when guys who are good-looking but not male models get attention from “really hot girls.” And so on, and so on, and so on.
Indeed, many of the regulars seem to walk around in a perpetual state of rage, angry at each and every man who’s managed to pair up with a woman, not to mention the women as well.
One regular recently described his “day from hell” to his comrades:
To start the day I saw a couple where it was an average White guy with an OBESE Asian girl. They were walking around acting like they were trying to prove shit. LMAO. I wanted to kick the guy in the fucking nuts for dating that landwhale. If you’re going to use the racial advantage, at least date a girl who is under 300lbs. Later I go to the gym and see the same tall guys I usually do. Even if I had a good face, how the fuck do you compete with guys who are fucking 6’4”?
Then at the gym there’s this good looking White guy there talking to this Asian dude about how Asian girls are easy and how they approach him. To make things worse after that these fucking frat douchebags come in with their girlfriends to show off . Then to cap off the day a girl I used to know from freshman year walks right past me without even saying anything. I used to fucking live next door to this bitch and now she doesn’t even say anything and acts like a pretentious cunt. She’s an Indian girl dating a White dude lmao. Days like today make you wonder why you even still try in the first place.
Of course, as I’ve mentioned before, most of those posting on PUAhate don’t actually seem to be ugly by anyone’s standards but their own, at least judging from the pictures of themselves they sometimes post to the site, which reveal them to be mostly average-looking guys, with some of the regulars even quite conventionally handsome.
But evidently they would rather believe that they have “lost the genetic lottery” rather than face a more obvious explanation for why the girls don’t like them: because they’re shallow, self-obsessed assholes who hate themselves and hate women and radiate their bitterness from every pore. (And some are even creepier than this, like this pedophile – sorry, ephebophile – who’s angry at me personally because unlike him I don’t chase after 15-year-olds. Link NSFW.)
The PUAhaters often talk about getting surgeries to “correct” their supposed genetic flaws. They would do far better to spend that money on therapy.
None of us. Given that we don’t know what you look like, you know that’s not about your looks. It’s your personality that kills libidos at 100 paces.
YOU’RE RUFOUS I WIN ALL THE ARGUMENTS FOREVER
“Hey, where did Looksie go? Hey Jeffiepoo, your sock is more interesting than you are. Send him back!”
This is the fourth time you’ve addressed me since since announcing to everybody you were done with me. You may just have an internet blog addiction.
Looksie is totally a sock for one of our previous trolls. Even down to the dating advice column.
“None of us. Given that we don’t know what you look like, you know that’s not about your looks. It’s your personality that kills libidos at 100 paces.”
Why is it acceptable to hate on another person just because they have a different personality than you’re used to? Diversity is the spice of life!
Looksie, who are you kidding. No one here would go out with you, even though we don’t know what you look like, how you dress, or how much money you have. What we know about you is that you like to throw tantrums and insult people, that that’s why no one here would even go to coffee with you.
You could always try to act like a decent person first and see what that gets you.
I asked you before if you could manage to say one decent, non-insulting, non-snarky, neutral to complimentary thing. One thing that was not about you or your anxiety or your stress or your poor, lonely boner. Try it, as an exercise. Try writing something reasonable, or something sincere.
Can’t do it, can you?
Hey, if Looksy asks a question it’s only fair for us to give him an honest answer. See how kind and helpful we are? This is useful information for him.
@Jeffries
Because the plural second person pronoun is identical to the single second person pronoun, and you did not specify which ‘you’ you were referring to, and thus I shall amend my question:
Who is transphobic, and why are they so?
Why would I date someone who: 1) thinks that all modern women are horrible, hypergamous bitches and 2) doesn’t understand the difference between a woman and a peahen?
And we’re totally incompatible because I’m incredibl social and when I’ve dated men who were shy/socially anxious in the past they found being in a relationship with me to be stressful. They were much happier with women who were also more introverted.
So those are reasons I’m not interested and they have nothing to do with your bullshit LMS theory.
Looks_Law: Assume I mean “hypothetical person” when I write “you”.
A) Friends are not a resource that you gain and attain in a strict linear fashion – so “competition from men with more friends” is a null point – as it says nothing about no one. You don’t flash your friends to potential lovers and make them swoon that way.
B)Get thee to a therapist. A person in college has access to student counselling services, and a few months of sharing frustration with a trained professional can help you get over anxieties and worries and fears, provide perspective and help.
C) I won’t play your game, because it’s a non winning proposition. The reason I won’t go on a date with you is that the personality you’re displaying through your posts is not a good one, but when I or anyone say that, you will retort with “HAH! SHANK HOS GOT’CHA”. You’re playing the Got’cha Game.
It’s a fun game to play, if you like winning misery.
D) Seriously, B).
E) I would also suggest in order: Stop stressing about your looks by realizing that it means little to many people, find clubs and activities you enjoy doing because this will give you a shared ground to communicate with others, find hobbies that you can do that bring you joy / pleasure and that give you something to do with your time so you don’t sit around being miserable, breathe, breathe, breathre, realize the world isn’t out to get you, talk to a therapist about my anxiety and see if it’s reasonable based on the expectations and events I’ve experienced and had, or if I’ve accidentally stepped into some sort of chronic thing.
F) Get the book “Neurosis and Human Growth”, Karen Horney. Snicker at the name, enjoy the book.
Looks_troll:
1. Suicidal? Get therapy. Seriously, call a hotline, talk to someone (not us), NOW.
2. DROP THE FUCKING MISOGYNY.
3. Stay in therapy. If you don’t think your therapist is helping, get another therapist.
4. TRY NOT BEING AN ASSHAT.
5. Keep going to therapy.
6. Once you’re past the suicidal part, develop your interests. Don’t just do things because there might be HOT WOMEN there; do them because you like to do them.
7. Stay out of nightclubs & bars if you don’t like them. You’re unlikely to meet people in a setting where you’re uncomfortable.
8. STOP TROLLING MAN BOOBZ.
“Because the plural second person pronoun is identical to the single second person pronoun, and you did not specify which ‘you’ you were referring to, and thus I shall amend my question:”
I was speaking to hellkell, and they (notice gender-neutral pronoun) were making negative comments about my gender. I’m trans.
Right, Billy Crystal looks just like
Harrison Ford who looks just like Sean
Astin who looks just like Danny DeVito
who looks just like William H. Macy,
who looks just like Joe Pesci ^^^^
Are you mentally unstable?
Why are you mentioning D-List straight to DVD actors that don’t have the drawing power HOLLYWOOD is looking for?
Avengers- Hemsworth, Captain america guy
Batman-Tom Hardy, Christian Bale
Superman- Henry Cavill
Django- Dicaprio
Great Gatsby- DiCaprio
Promethues- Fassbender
Twilight- Patterson
Inception- Tom Hardy, DiCaprio
James Bond/Skyfall- Daniel Craig
Amazing Spiderman- Andrew Garfield
Drive- Ryan Gosling
Haven’t even gotten to the newer movies and others.
All male leads= HOT
Why? Because they bring in numbers, WHY? Because Looks Matter to people who consume these movies, The general PUBLIC.
Idiot.
And now Looksie is turning into a therapy troll. What an amazing surprise.
Steve Buschemi disagrees.
The only one of those who I find hot is Gosling, and that’s mostly because of his personality…
Anyway, there’s your golden advice: Who you are at any given moment is not an indicator of you will be, given time and practice and direction.
Decide to be the kind of person you’d like to be, then work on it every day. Start now, don’t deviate, and speaking of that, I should get going. Having already won the thread, I can leave gracefully.
( q: )
@ Looks_Law
taking what you said seriously, I recommend
A) http://www.suicidehotlines.com/
B) Go to your college counseling center
C) Do more of what you enjoy doing (painting, board games, biking, scuba diving, woodworking, knitting, rock-climbing, etc.) and join a group focused around said activity, for the purpose of doing more of that activity with other people who also like that activity.
“1. Suicidal? Get therapy. Seriously, call a hotline, talk to someone (not us), NOW.”
4. TRY NOT BEING AN ASSHAT.
8. STOP TROLLING MAN BOOBZ.”
The fact that this guy said he was suicidal and you still continue to bully him and tell him what to do is disgusting. You are a disgusting human being. Where’s your compassion for the suicidal?
Looks_law – it’s okay for these things to bother you. Troll if it helps you feel better. Get help and you will have my support.
Pro tip – this is not a therapy group. We have told you this before.
“taking what you said seriously, I recommend
A) http://www.suicidehotlines.com/
B) Go to your college counseling center
C) Do more of what you enjoy doing (painting, board games, biking, scuba diving, woodworking, knitting, rock-climbing, etc.) and join a group focused around said activity, for the purpose of doing more of that activity with other people who also like that activity.”
I agree with this. Very responsible way to handle it starskita.
Chris Hemsworth is Thor. Chris Evans is Captain America.
Looks, for real, if you are suicidal, GO TO THERAPY. Even if that’s hyperbole and you think your anxiety is holding you back, go to therapy. You have to deal with those issues. Also try expanding your realm from nightclubs. Nightclubs amplify the worst aspects of men, women, dating and the society we live in. (Also, I assume you’re there to look at good looking people? So, why is it only the women who are horrible in this situation?) For real. Try theater. Or book club. Or LARPing. Anything. College has EVERYTHING.
I know you’re a troll, but goddamn, this shit is tedious. Expand your definition of women who are worth knowing/dating. I’m a grown lady and I’m telling you straight up, I have been attracted to men of all shapes and sizes and looks. The personality and chemistry is everything. None of those men have wanted me back and I do not hate them, nor blame them, nor all men for my lot in life. I’m still working on it. And my life is pretty great. Worry less about finding a girlfriend every second and just participate in things you like. Lord. It’s not SCIENCE.
Gosling is one of those rare instances where someone who is not my type could totally get it. I feel like it has more to do with his style than his looks, though. I like the way he dresses and I like his posture. Or his character’s posture in Drive.
But yeah.
Could totally get it.
Looks_Law? Take your ass to Dr. Nerdlove and read everything from the beginning. Get therapy now before you graduate. Stop hanging out with a bunch of assholes who tell you that you’ll never have a relationship because you’re ugly.
Now that’s it; that’s all the free advice I’m giving out today. You keep hanging around and you’re getting mocked.
Also – find friends first, dates later. Trying to do things the other way around will probably not end well.