Raw Story on The Top 5 Rape-Apologist Reactions to the Steubenville Verdicts [UPDATED]

I can’t help but wondering if what’s bothering people is the permanence of it, and they want a way for the label to be removed if the person doesn’t do it again. But the thing is, if you’ve raped someone, you are a rapist. You don’t become not-a-rapist as a result of rehabilitation.

Basically this all feels like a way to try to avoid acknowledging how common rape is and how hard rapists are to identify until they actually hurt someone and you find out about it. And refusing to say “yep, that guy over there is a rapist” just contributes to the culture in which everything gets swept under the rug and victims who call out their attackers are shamed for making everyone uncomfortable.

“Taking advantage” of someone, by the way, is my least favourite euphemism for rape. You take advantage of lucky opportunities that arise in your life, like when that sweater you’ve wanted for a month goes on sale. Or you take advantage of your friend’s good mood when deciding when to ask her for that favour you’ve been wanting. You don’t “take advantage” of someone being drunk and passed out, like it’s some sort of happy accident that’s happened to you. You make the conscious decision to assault and rape them.

QFT

In the past quarter century, we exposed biases against other races and called it racism, and we exposed biases against women and called it sexism. Biases against men we call humor.
—Warren Farrell, Women Can’t Hear What Men Don’t Say

ow. My head hurts from all the face palm.

And this girl’s getting death threats. The media may have shielded her name but everyone in her community knows who she is.

o fuck I don’t wanna live on this planet any more 🙁 🙁 🙁 🙁 gaaaaa grrrr rant.

@tina

So the next time a teen boy slut gets drunk at a party: drug him, ….

Idk. I feel like lots of rape culture where I am (America) is still pretty biased against boys. A girl who is raped should have known better than to be drinking while female, or of course the boys can’t help it (*barfs*) but I do feel like (in America) there’s lots of men can’t be raped thoughts because men aren’t supposed to be vulnerable, and men are supposed to always want sex. Idk, /rambling.

It seems to me that if the situation would be flipped around that nobody but a few would care

I agree, it probably wouldn’t have gotten as much press :/ (assuming that’s what you were trying to say)

@falconer

D’awww. Your babies are so cute <3

@marinerachel

I actually do feel sad for the rapists in this case

You’re probably a better person than me then. :/ All I can think is that no matter how bad they feel, well good. But I’m a vindictive bitch.

@nitram

I get uncomfortable with the description of these perps as “rapists” because it sears in our mind this pervasive myth that rapists are monsters and monsters are rapists. These boys are a product of rape culture.

um, yes, rapists are a product of rape culture . They’re still rapists though. And shitty ass people. Culture may make it more common, but it does not make it excusable.

and I am in no way excusing these two boys’ actions.

I guess the first part just seemed like that to me :/ Though I’m glad you clarified (in the actual comment too) I just had to comment on it. Sorry if it bugs you.

In short, “rapist” sort of neatly categorizes the problem. “He’s a rapist”, that’s what he does. Why are otherwise good people doing heinous acts? Why are we not horrified? I hope I’m explaining this clearly.

Otherwise good? Dang, I feel like I’m too vindictive to say much here, since I seem to be much more pissed than lots of people at them (though not all people here!) Also, I can’t tell if you’re not exlaining it clearly, or my brain’s just wonky today 😛 could be that last one, since I feel like I’m not getting you at all.

What I’m thinking is that the term rapist conjures up a mythical figure of the monster in the shadows, and I think that myth needs to shatter for any real change to occur.

Yeah, but part of rape culture is the ‘xie can’t be a rapist, xie is a good person, not a monster.’ I don’t think avoiding calling rapists rapists will help at all, only add to that myth. If I’m making any sense today.

No. A rapist is a person who has raped someone. Referring to someone by a term that describes what they did in a very clear way is not the same thing as buying into the slavering beast myth. In fact, you’ve got things exactly backwards – refusing the label these boys as rapists supports the slavering beast myth, because part of what upholds that myth is the refusal to admit that rape is common and rapists are all around us, just walking around looking like everyone else.

QFT

Do we have trouble calling a murderer a murderer? Do we have trouble calling a burglar a burglar? Why should we not call rapists what they are? Why is the term so terrible that we should flinch from calling a rapist a rapist? Fuck that. Fuck protecting them because they’re not big monster rapists. That’s exactly what they are. Never mind the leaping-out-of-bushes scenario: the minute you rape someone you are monstrous, whatever the circumstances, whatever the level of overt or visible violence (rape is a crime of violence however it’s perpretrated) – to rape someone is a monstrous thing. Too many humans are good at monstrous.

As for sympathy for these rapists … never. Not from me. Nothing forced them into the crappy US justice system. Nothing forced them to rape that girl. They weren’t caught up in some stupid Kantian ethical dilemma. They chose to do a monstrous thing to another human being.

@cloudiah

@_@ wow………. that spearhead comment. >:( No words

Yep, that Spearhead comment – because we’re all actually wondering how many girls these big, tough jocks have raped in the last 3 years.

@somegal

I did it and it destroyed my life so much that I am perfectly fine.

not getting laid until after HS has definitely destroyed my life. So much that I’m out of high school and not-laid I’ve the best I’ve been in years*

*actually getting diagnosed for depression does wonders 😛

The Spearhead never lets you down just when you think worse things can’t be said.

Josiah’s comment in the screenshot makes me think of the Shakesville piece about why rape jokes are so bad (my Google is failing me, so I’m paraphrasing badly): “When you make a rape joke, decent guys will know you’re joking, but rapists will take it as confirmation that rape is normal and every guy does it. And since you don’t know who is a rapist unless they’re caught…”

I’m another woman who has been falling-down drunk around lots of guys and not been raped. I’ve even had sex with guys I’m in established relationships with (and had established that we’re both okay with drunk sex), and somehow they managed to still be respectful and not rape me. In fact, I’ve even had a drunk boyfriend I was with literally say, “Hey, you don’t seem as into this as you usually are. Want to stop?” So no, Josiah, not all guys are rapists.

On the other hand, the time I was raped, there was a big difference: I was with a rapist. Funny how that’s what actually made the difference and not what I’d had to drink or what I was wearing or anything else except that I happened to be around someone who wanted to rape me and felt that he had the opportunity to do so without consequence.

Update: That MKP comment from the Spearhead that I posted now has 11 upvotes, making it by far the most popular comment on the post — and the rest of the comments have devolved into racism and worse.

Having said that, it’s amazing that no one – especially women – care to address one of the most vital points of the story: the fact that loud, drunk, aggressive, criminal or borderline-criminal football players like this get all the sex they can handle, while polite, respectful young men routinely go home alone. How many girls do you think these big, tough jocks have fucked in the last 3 years? And how many girls do you think their nerdy classmates – the ones who would NEVER do something like this – have been with in the same period? Or, hell, their entire lives?

Yes, so amazing that no one gives a shit about the poor unfucked boners. Women are getting raped and pissed on but there are DUDES! Not getting LAID! It is HORRIBLE! It is the biggest tragedy of our times! /sarcasm

Silly manboobzers. Alphas never rape women. Our panties just magically drop in their presence, and our vaginas automatically become red and inflamed like a hyenas, so no consent is necessary. Conversely, in the presence of nice guys, our vaginas fold in on themselves like a collapsed star.

@Hellkell:

I was thinking today just how tired this story makes me feel. It’s been 25 years of bullshit: Tawana Brawley, Mike Tyson, Anita Hill, William Smith, Bill Clinton, Srauss-Kahn, Assange, I’m sure I’m forgetting some case, but it all seems to boil down to “bitches ain’t shit” and I am tired.

…Yeah. All of this. I feel this sort of numb despair.

And how many girls do you think their nerdy classmates – the ones who would NEVER do something like this – have been with in the same period? Or, hell, their entire lives?

Refraining from rape is not noble. It’s really not something to wave about like it makes you some sort of moral exemplar. I haven’t murdered anyone, but I don’t go around demanding that women praise me for it. Not do I expect them to fuck me for it.

Also even if you did do something noble and self-sacrificing – like, I dunno, pull a baby from a burning building – it is not a sad story when nobody rewards you for it with a faceful of genitals.