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MRA: We shouldn’t tolerate misogyny in the Men’s Rights movement. Reddit Men’s Rights mods hit the delete button.

You must be THIS MAD to post in the Men’s Rights subreddit.

Here’s a suprisingly candid comment from an MRA in the Men’s Rights subreddit, challenging the misogyny within the movement:

MRrightsbot

Oh, wait, that’s not from the Men’s Rights subreddit. HalfysReddit did originally post this to the Men’s Rights subreddit, but the mods deleted it, and so now the only reason it’s still available is that there’s a bot that automatically reposts all self-posts to the Men’s Rights subreddit.

Before it was deleted, HalfysReddit’s post did inspire some discussion amongst the Men’s Rightsers. Well, it was “discussion” only insofar as a bunch of comments telling HalfysReddit to stuff it counts as discussion. Here’s one thoughtful comment:

MRrights2

Sorry, did I say “thoughtful?” I meant “delusional.”

Though I’m pretty sure he’s right that feminists aren’t going to fight for anonymity for rape defendents or the “right of paternal surrender.”

Oh, and here’s a guy comparing Men’s Rightsers to the Black Panthers.

MRrightsBlkpanthers

The Men’s Rights subreddit, where the notion that MRAs should tone down the misogyny a bit is too radical to even debate.

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Argenti Aertheri
7 years ago

And I do use crazy for myself (and nuts, and batshit, depending how much I’m joking instead of freaking out) — I think it is just the internalized “at least I’m not that nuts” which is quite obviously not an attitude that’s helping anyone! Bad Argenti, go sit in the ableist corner of shame! (I totally deserve it right now)

Argenti Aertheri
7 years ago

Kitteh — white wolf malkavians (the um, clan that’s seen as insane) have a dementation power. But seeing how it’s a damned good way to get out of fights, I’m always amused any time I can fit dementation into conversation. (They’re only sort of insane, more like they see too much of reality for anyone else to comprehend…it’s complicated, and entirely RP minutiae)

Outside RP, not really as far as I’ve heard. Or maybe I don’t even notice it.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Every time I see “batshit” I think of a) Republican wingnuts or b) Bat Guano from Dr Strangelove. 😛

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

They sound like an updated version of the Berserkers. Are they given to chewing their shields? 😉

Okay, must head off to work now … backbrace, check. Knee brace, check. Walking stick, check.

Dvärghundspossen
7 years ago

But a word like “nuts”… does that really have much to do with mental illness? I get mad (haha) when people use “psychotic” as a slur, because in my experience this use goes together with actual prejudice against psychotic people. People who say this think that having some kind of psychosis disorder=irrational and stupid, and that’s why they use “psychotic” as a slur. But I think some terms are just slurs, period, they’re not really connected to mental illness or disability any longer, even if they once were. Take a word like “idiot” – a long time ago it was actually a medical term used to describe mentally handicapped people. Nowadays it’s a MERE slur. At least I think so (you might think I shouldn’t discuss finer linguistic points in a language which isn’t my mother tongue, but when it comes to “idiot” we have the exact same word in Swedish).

At the end of the day, it’s always gonna be the case that people sometimes get pissed off at others and say something angrily at them – there are always gonna be words for that. Which means that although we should totally criticize people who use, say, “retarded” or “psychotic” as slurs, it’s more or less impossible to cut out all words from a language which have SOME connection, however historical or loose, to mental illness or disabilities. (And no, I don’t know exactly where to draw the line.)

At least that’s my two cents on the matter.

Argenti Aertheri
7 years ago

Kitteh — they’re vampires, it’s their particular strain of blood curse.

Creative Writing Student

@Argenti

RE: crazy – I use it for myself and with close friends who also use it, otherwise no. Sometimes its the only word that describes ones symptoms, really.

(BTW, about therapists – have you tried bringing along someone to collaborate, at least for your first session? It’s crap that your therapist doesn’t believe you like they should but having a second person saying “yeah, it’s really like that” can help. You can say they’re there for moral support or something.)

Argenti Aertheri
7 years ago

Problem is I live with rape apologists I’m not about to tell anything. And my not-an-ex is such because I moved 500 miles away when I moved back in with my parents (cuz broke, cuz unemployed, cuz crazy)

Creative Writing Student

@Argenti

That really sucks 🙁

*hugs and other comfort if wanted*

Emmy
Emmy
7 years ago

@ Some Gal

Dang! I hoped it wouldn’t come off like I was saying that I think other people should feel the same way about the terminology or that one way is objectively better, I’m just really involved in anti-stigma stuff at the moment and the way the media projects this totally biased and false view of mental illness. I thought about changing the wording when I wrote it, and I probably should have.

@ Everyone else kind enough to greet me and reply:

My undergrad major was human anatomy and biology, but I’m completing a graduate’s diploma before applying for grad school where I want to major in science communication, with a special emphasis on the dissemination of information about health. Bioethics has its own (small) department and its an open undergrad paper that students from all disciplines can take; I feel really old sometimes and it really makes me cringe to hear people with limited or no experience with the science behind healthcare preaching that, for example, diabetics living below the poverty line would be better off if they had to rely on private health insurance “because it provides a financial incentive to not be ill”.

Thankfully, the lecturer that said the off colour things about mental illness gave a single introductory lecture only and is a very elderly man who doesn’t have much contact with the students, and I spent a long time debating whether or not to talk to the course coordinator before eventually deciding to wait and see if things got better.

Argenti Aertheri
7 years ago

Ah, so that just leaves douche, sort of good. At least he’s not a respected authority figure and might get challenged by either classmates or lecturers/profs. Is just burying your head in an electronic device an option?

And optional bioethics course = awesome! I, for one, would be thrilled to discuss your class topics, if you like.

Creative Writing Student

diabetics living below the poverty line would be better off if they had to rely on private health insurance “because it provides a financial incentive to not be ill”.

… You can’t bribe a pancreas and immune system to get along, I tried that (with chocolate) and it just made the problem worse 😛

Dvärghundspossen
7 years ago

WritingStudent, was that written by someone who thinks a) one become diabetic because one’s FAT, and b) if FAT people are given the right incentive, they’re gonna magically go thin and c) with magic thinness comes perfect health?

I guess it would completely boggle that person’s mind to tell zir about type 1 diabetes.

hellkell
hellkell
7 years ago

emilygoddess: congrats, that’s an awesome job!

katz
7 years ago

Emily: Woo! *fistbump*

I couldn’t handle a job like that; all the poor hurt animals would make me too sad.

Argenti Aertheri
7 years ago

So…I walked in, she asked how things were, I said that considering this seemed to be pointless, maybe there’s someone else I can see? She was thinking the same thing, the head of the clinic has a recommendation and the receptionist will call me to schedule.

Here’s hoping new-psych is a better match!

hellkell
hellkell
7 years ago

Argenti: congrats! I hope the new psych is a much better match.

Man, I have been staring at and working on a spreadsheet all day. My brain is f-r-i-e-d.

katz
7 years ago

Argenti: Good for you!

Falconer
7 years ago

Good for you, Argenti!

cloudiah
7 years ago

Perfectly handled, Argenti!

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Argenti – yayyy! That’s great!

Marie
Marie
7 years ago

(to the point my ex-fiancée’s brother said it sounded like something their emotional abusive mother would pull)

O_O wow. That’s a really bad thing for anybody to be doing (the “your body gets used to it” thing) and from a psych…gah. I mean, they’re suposed to help you >:(

particularly considering I’m more comfortable talking to y’all even with the risk of trolls than with her. Oh gods was that a run on sentence!

O_O I’m not reacting much your psych just sounds really bad 🙁

@katz

But it completely gets rid of the pain for several hours. It’s also great at getting rid of anxiety, nausea, and general bad mojo. For me, there’s a dosage that does all that and doesn’t get me high

Thanks for info 🙂 I am at least debating trying it, but idk where I’d get it, and my d.a.r.e. programming is kicking in 😉 And my pains been relatively okay recently 🙂 My depression stopped flaring up and is back under control, and my back is some better. I got diagnosed with vitamin D deficiency, which in theory taking supplements will help. Good news is I went to a specialist and I don’t have fibromialgia or early arthritis. Bad news still don’t know if anything is wrong.

Sorry to derail about me (so skip if you don’t want to read :)) but I actually had a very good doctors appointment. Two doctors who were woman (reason I’ve been super un-easy around guy doctors recently, could post a link to help explain why, but partly is just a me thing). The first one was asking me about my depression and recognized when it was making me uncomfortable and actually asked if I wanted her to stop. Maybe that should be standard of decency, but so unusual for doctors I’ve seen recently. The last ones I’d seen who weren’t my regular one tended to ignore everything I said and just went with their original assumptions about the problem. Anyhow /me derail

@emmy

self-important douche who tried to argue that the poor don’t deserve healthcare for ‘reasons’.

WTF. Just…bwuh. May he step on all the legos. Sorry you had to meet that person 🙁

Also because the last time mental illness came up someone claimed that rapists must be mentally ill because normal people wouldn’t do that and the lecturer agreed that mentally ill people are ‘funny’.

And sorry you had to meet that douche too 🙁

Hugs if you want. Lots of hugs.

Guys, help me with the spanx part, it was too funny not to include, but spanx isn’t a remotely feminist gift, I don’t want to imply anyone needs spanx the way everyone needs bath towels.

I missed when the spanx got added XD

Oh and question for resident corset wearers: does wearing a beige elastic back brace wot does up with velcro count as suitably whorish? Or is it too too hopelessly dowdy and boner-killing for all that? I must know if I’m upsetting the manly menz or the feminist overladycats.

Must ask corset wearers something! Those who would like to answer, does it stabalize your back any? I’d like something for back support but it’s so hard to find any braces for mid-upper back.

@emilygoddess

Yay for your dream job! 😀 Congratulations.

“because it provides a financial incentive to not be ill”.

O_O wtf.

@argenti aertheri

Here’s hoping new-psych is a better match!

Yay! Good luck finding a new psych 😀

cloudiah
7 years ago

Guys, help me with the spanx part, it was too funny not to include, but spanx isn’t a remotely feminist gift, I don’t want to imply anyone needs spanx the way everyone needs bath towels.

I missed this too. But clearly, Spanx aren’t added to the welcome package because we want people to wear them. It’s just that we’re so proud of them because apparently Spanx are the only thing ever invented by a woman. 😀 (Also because in a pinch they could be used to slingshot any MRAs away from your general vicinity.)

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Must ask corset wearers something! Those who would like to answer, does it stabalize your back any? I’d like something for back support but it’s so hard to find any braces for mid-upper back.

My bff wears a corset when she’s at conventions, Renaissance Fairs and the like (she’s a write so is stuck there for hours) and says they really do support her back a lot. She says she can almost lean into hers like a chair back, iirc.

If you google “upper back support” a list of stuff comes up – lots to be bought online. It’s a pain how difficult it is to find things in actual physical shops, though!

Marie
Marie
7 years ago

@kittehs

Thanks for info 😀 I have actually checked out braces online, but couldn’t find any, though. Well, I found some, but just didn’t like much XD They all looked rather uncomfy, especially around the boobs, which is why my mind went to corset XD

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Are you looking for something that covers your breasts or not? Most of the brace-type things I’ve seen sit under them.

What bugs me with the back support stuff I can find in the shops is that it’s mostly thermal, ie. is made to keep heat in as well as supply support/compression. Which is great in cold weather, but when it’s 30C + outside I Do Not Want to be any hotter than I am! 😛

Marie
Marie
7 years ago

@kittehs

I want something that looks comfy 😀 Lots of the things looked like they went under, but it seemed uncomfy. Tmi coming on, but my boobs are super sensitive, especially the undersides. My bra fits, but has underwire, which normally works, since it fits well, but really bugs me when I sleep on my chest wrong. Um, anyhow those were my reasons ^_^

I love the thermal stuff, heat helps my back so much. I’ve had heating pads on while doing karate XD Super sweaty, but worth it. Sadly, I had to stop wearing heating pads because the constant heat was actually giving my back burns 🙁

dusty
dusty
7 years ago

LOL. I mean this blog is pretty great but the sanctimonious circle jerk that goes on in these comments, I could VOMIT. Bourgie white feminists and your lip service to intersectionality, ooh look at us we’re so enlightened and progressive, high five everyone now let’s post cutesy wutesy videos and cupcake recipes all day from our cushy office jobs

Marie
Marie
7 years ago

@everyone not dusty

aparently talking about bras is totally a circle jerk. Here I thought I was just asking for advice 😛 Also welcoming de lurkesrs. I guess some people were talking about jerks they met, but like, really, I can’t tell how it’s a circle jerk. I guess we were in agreement that poor people should get healthcare…

anyhoo, random troll is random and boring.

hellkell
hellkell
7 years ago

Fuck you, Dusty. Take your Tumblr bullshit and go. You don’t have to be here, and FYI, not everyone on this board is white.

We’re to mock misogyny, not make the internet women;s studies set happy.

hellkell
hellkell
7 years ago

Here to mock misogyny…

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

LOL LOL first it was all “don’t call me a PoC but I’ll totally say twat if I want to and youse are all Yanks and I hate Yanks”, now there’s not even a pretence – c’mon, braindustyfromlackofuse, you just hate women, don’t you? Nothing like assuming everyone here is a woman, or white, or middle class, or USian to give away your own hangups. Nothing like having a little ragefest because people are enjoying a conversation that’s got nothing to do with you. Got a few issues, have we, hmm?

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Back to the more interesting and important conversation – Marie, yeah, I get it about sensitivity, I’m much the same (seams! Why the fuck to they put seams across the cups???). Sounds like maybe a good fitted corset might be worth checking out.

Marie
Marie
7 years ago

@kittehs

Yup 😀 I’ll probably check one out…soon actually, now that I’ll be getting some spending money.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Cool! 🙂

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
7 years ago

One of the reasons I don’t always trust psych diagnoses – my ex (the stalker one) was initially diagnosed as schitzophrenic, and then later diagnosed with anti-social personality disorder (ie. what laypeople call sociopathy). When he got the second diagnosis (which he got while he and I were both in college taking psychology – this fact will be important later), his psychiatrist just kind of…brushed off as not a big deal the fact that he was misdiagnosed in the first place? But he (ex, not psychiatrist) talked to me about it, and turns out that he made up schitzophrenic symptoms because he wanted that diagnosis instead of the one he eventually got, and the first psychiatrist had no idea he was lying. Even though the stuff he made up sounded a bit off even to me, and I was only an undergrad. It made me side-eye a lot of psych diagnoses and research for a while, because so much of the research is done on psych undergrads, and if you’re a psych student it’s often pretty easy to figure out what the experiment is looking for. In the case of my ex, he was worried that a correct diagnosis might result in him being treated in a way he wouldn’t like, so he made stuff up to get a diagnosis that he figured would result in his parents feeling sympathy and continuing to support him (it was them who forced him to see the psych in the first place).

Kind of OT, but that experience (first psych was totally useless, prescribed drugs that didn’t help, and generally allowed himself to be played by a 19 year old undergrad who was smarter than he was) is why I’m so wary of bad psychiatrists and/or therapists, and so quick to urge people to stop seeing them if they don’t seem to be grasping what the issues actually are and therefore don’t seem likely to be able to help.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Cassandra – holy shit. 🙁

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Someone I know was told by their psychiatrist (since dumped) that they had to stay on whatever-the-medication-was until they got married.

They weren’t even dating at the time. But apart from that … there was so much wtfuckery with that I can’t even begin to unpack it.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
7 years ago

So, like, was marriage supposed to make whatever the meds were for go away?

Marie
Marie
7 years ago

@kittehs

that psych O_O …why? people like that should not be psychs >:(

melodyraewood
melodyraewood
7 years ago

I’m pretty iffy on psychiatrist as a general rule.
Some stuff I believe like my diagnosis of RAD and ADHD, but other things like borderline personality disorder I am less accepting of.
It is a soft science after all.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

It seemed so! I was so WTF I never got any real detail, and I’m not sure my friend really knew what the psych meant either. I had the impression it was all “being married will make your stress/anxiety/whatever it is magically better” or something. Like marriage doesn’t bring a whole lot of other stresses, and like the person you marry is signing up as your unpaid shrink/medicine cabinet …

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

I would absolutely NOT see a psych who was into any Freudian stuff. I have a most passionate hatred of Freud and his notions and the sort of loveless, fucked-over thinking that Freudians can produce. (Yes, Elizabeth Wirth Marvick, I am looking at you.)

Some Gal Not Bored at All
Some Gal Not Bored at All
7 years ago

@Argenti

Congratulations! That is fan-fucking-tastic!

katz
7 years ago

cupcake recipes

Again with the cupcakes!

cloudiah
7 years ago

Is dusty like the SJ/tumblr version of NWOSlave?

You ladies with your cushy desk jobs and silky underdrawers, and you won’t give up your seat on the bus to sweaty hardworking MEN (for NWO)/LUMPENPROLES (for dusty)?

That’s just kinda sad.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Maybe we should wave some Scented Motherfucking Candles at dustybrain.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
7 years ago

Does exorcism work on the tendency to be an asshole?

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

If only!

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
7 years ago

Begone, spirit of assholery! Out, foul fiend of rape apologism! And so on.