So there’s an old school type of Pickup Artistry called Speed Seduction in which, instead of simply trying to manipulate the ladies into bed, our would-be seducers try to literally hypnotize their prey by repeating prefabricated “patterns” that supposedly work on people’s subconscious minds without them realizing it. The whole thing is based on something called Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), which most scientists seem to think is quackery. Most of the pickup techniques inspired by NLP are beyond ridiculous.
One NLP-inspired PUA “pattern,” for example, involves using the phrase “below me” when talking to the Hot Babes. Since “below me” sounds vaguely like “blow me,” you see, the Hot Babe you’re talking to will be subconsciously primed to want to give you a blow job. And no, I’m not making this up.
The creepiest PUA “pattern” I’ve run across so far is something called the “Door Pattern,” invented by some dude named Alex Domnikov, and recently brought to my attention by Mike Booth, the guy behind the hilarious Some Grey Bloke videos on Youtube.
One PUA has described the Door Pattern as “the “bad boy” of all patterns. … evil and cruel, playing on the fears and deep insecurities of women.”
Essentially, the idea behind this little routine is to manipulate any Hot Babe you’ve somehow convinced to sleep with you into desperately worrying that you’ll abandon her. Why she would consider this a bad thing, I’m not sure, as PUAs are not known for being especially sensitive lovers. But we’ll just suspend our disbelief and continue.
[TRIGGER WARNING for emotional abuse in what follows]
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So how does this dastardly Door Pattern work? Well, after you’ve had sex with a woman, and she’s feeling all glowy, you point to the door and ask her “sweetheart, what’s that over there?”
And she’ll say, “well you know, that’s a door, silly.” And you say, “yeah, you know.. I’m a real positive person, but.. I mean, can you imagine.. I mean, you don’t know what can happen from day to day, when you think about it in your mind. I mean, what would happen if I walked out that door and the door closed and as the door closed, it slammed shut, and no matter what you did, you could not open the door and you knew that you would never be able to look into my eyes again and you’d never be able to hear my voice again and you’d never be able to feel my touch again.” Ok, right here is where she starts going, “I don’t like this door business at all.”
So you reassure her a little, and then it’s back to the “door business” again:
Have some more fun with her, bring her to another orgasm or whatever and say, “you know, a terrible thing happened the other day. My friend was hit by a truck. I mean, it was awful, by the time they got him to hospital he was dead. I can’t believe it, you know? It’s almost as if, it would be a horrible thing you know when you think about..” (point towards the door) “..that no matter even if you were to get that door opened and you were to search, that you could never find me again..” Then she starts freaking out. You calibrate more on that part of, “you will never be able to see me again, you’ll never be able to hear my voice again.”
Repeat as necessary, and pretty soon any time she starts to get uppity, all you have to do is point to a door, and – ta da! – no more “bullshit” from her!
Having anchored that sense of loss and pain to the door, you can trigger it whenever needed. Whatever negative behavior may come up that you want to stop, the first time you just get up and slam the door. Whether you walk out the door depends on the level of bullshit. On later occasions you can just indicate tbe door in some manner. The example Alex gives: If he’s talking on the phone and getting any crap from her, and he knows the relation of where the door is to her desk, he says, “sweetheart, could you please turn right and take a look at what’s over there..” and that was the end of the bullshit.”
Assuming the Hot Babe doesn’t either laugh in your face and/or throw you out the first time you pull this creepy shit with her, what we’ve got here is a template for ongoing emotional abuse.
Happily, one enterprising soul has turned the Door Pattern into an ExtraNormal video. I find that the robot voice in the video meshes well with the psychopathic creepiness of the content.
The Door Pattern is not to be confused with the Doors Pattern, in which you get drunk and babble on about Nietzsche and everyone around you tells you you’re a genius.
There’s a video for that one too:
Oh, and here’s a cat singing the theme song to Game of Thrones. For some reason this popped up on YouTube when I was looking for drunk Jim Morrison videos.
Me was there first time, when Og rub sticks together make fire. Fire useful for cook food, but also can hurt hand. Og hurt hand own hand, ask others make fire on sticks pile not own bearskin. Now Gank clan want kill us clan with fire we made. Hurt with fire is good times for them, but not all folk be Ugg Gank clan head or even can read Gank cave pictures.
Welcome Equivamp (and I think Hyena Girl and coreywrenn? Apologies if you aren’t new and my memory has failed)! Also welcome to anyone else I may have missed. When I went back to check the first page, it seemed like there were a lot of new people.
I know Argenti has been offering an awesome welcome package with scented candles and some other stuff (see? My memory is not necessarily that great). It is always great when people emerge from lurking!
Kittehs’, I am shocked, I tell you, SHOCKED at your outfit. Perhaps I shan’t recover. [swoons]
Falconer: It’s trivia, but my house in Israel was built in 1961 on land owned by the Greek Orthodox Church, an indigenous Levantine community, to whom I pay rent. Palestinian-American college girls on tour mistake the Arabesque design for that of the genuinely stolen houses in the neighborhoods to the south, and snark at me as a colonist, while I waste no time detailing the benefits of making my further acquaintance.
Palestinians are also learning the wrong lessons from history, seeing Levantine Jews as colonizers and proposing to “outlast” us. (Which is what “sumud”, “steadfastness”, implies.)
It was Soissons, but years before the Fronde; it was during his unsuccessful rebellion in 1641. It’s just as likely to be apocryphal. It’s also suggested he was shot by one of his officers.
Not at all sure how Soissons fits with your failed punning attempt (I’d leave out puns if you’re in an unfamiliar language AND trying to annoy people you know don’t like you anyway – just a hint). The English term refers to shooting yourself in the FOOT, not killing yourself.
If only people mistook your rhetorical arabesques for genuine argument, hey?
*waves burning feather under cloudiah’s nose*
Eurosabra’s rhetorical arabesques were put up by the Dodgy Brothers, so it’s no wonder they’re falling to bits already.
@Eurosabra
Wrong lessons? O_o *judging you*
Hello de-lurkers! Except for GlennP (PUA “coach”) — I’m not putting out the welcome mat for you, duder.
I’m off to make dinner, and then watch more Doctor Who.
I am hard pressed to see any benefit to making your further acquaintance.
@Eurosabra
Why do you think we care about your opinions on anything? We are not your friends, we don’t even like you, and we think you are a horrible person based on the things you’ve said. Fuck off.
Let’s make this nice and simple, shall we?
Eurosabra – go away. We do not want to talk to you. If you continue to talk to us you will be ignoring our clearly expressed wishes, which reinforces all the negative things that people say about PUA. So bugger off. It’s good PR.
@The Kitteh I am in awe.
Even if I wear a short dress I have to wear tights because I don’t want to be too revealing.
Tunic+leggings for me would be a bit much. I have a curvy butt. I would fear it all hanging out….
So did anybody else spend an hour and a half listening to the cat singing the Game of Thrones theme over and over?
…because that’s totally not a thing I did today.
I had actually seen the Xtranormal video of the creepy robot explaining the Door Pattern before, probably through r/thebluepill, but at the time it struck me as simply being comically absurd. That anybody would be twisted enough to want to try it, and that there are people who actually have tried it, is both astounding and disturbing.
*presses replay*
D: Gah, that door thing is creepy. Like, in a way, it’s funny… but that’s the kind of thing that would’ve WORKED on my predecessors. Though definitely entertained by the failures people mentioned here.
And oh god, I remember MIDIs… WHY do I remember MIDIs…
Because MIDI is sixteen bit music and the soundtrack to Lemmings was awesome?
The leviathon should totally be an olympic event.
Same here, melody! I’m curvy too (size 16-18 Aus, which is about 12-14 US) and have had a bit of a hangup about the arse-hanging-out look, which I was rattling on about a few weeks ago, iirc. But I picked up this tunic the other night and damn, it’s just meant to go with black leggings. I started with a little black skirt this morning but thought nope, just the leggings, and tough luck what anyone thinks. Which they’re probably not, anyway. 🙂
I can’t find a pic like it, but the tunic’s one of those ones with a false front panel, so it looks like a jacket with handkerchief points hanging over a narrow black top. The main part is see-through burgundy with random marks like a starscape.
😀
My abusive ex did not do this particular thing, but I’ve never seen anything else on this blog that more strongly resonated as exactly the sort of thing he WOULD do. He was really into the idea of using NLP and hypnosis to make girls fuck him. (I say “girls,” not women, because he always vastly preferred to hit on 18-year-olds.) It’s only after the fact that I recognize how many of our interactions involved deliberate attempts to “program” me – and how many of them worked to some degree.
And, contrary to the notion that “the only people more pathetic than those PUAs are the girls who are dumb enough to have sex with them,” as someone stated on the first page, I’m not dumb. I was just 18, away from home for the first time (at a very, very good school of the sort “dumb” people aren’t exactly likely to get into), with no real support system, and came from an abusive home. One of his tricks was to tell me that I was a good, worthwhile, lovable person – something no one had ever told me before – and that the only proof of that I needed was that I was able to make him happy. He explained to me, so kindly, so patiently, that I didn’t need other friends or a life outside of him, because as long as I continued to make him happy, I wasn’t worthless. It sounded really nice – right up until the point when it turned into “You won’t have sex with me right now? Well, that doesn’t make me happy…”
@polliwog
Gah. That’s icky. Especially on this post, we’re the topic is puas being abusive. It seems like blaming the girls because they aren’t ‘bright’ (or as the point you made, experienced,) enough recognize when someone’s an asshat.
I’m sorry to hear about your abusive ex 🙁 Glad to hear you’re away from him though.
*where, not we’re
burgundy tunic
Anteater… so… cute… <3
I always cringe a bit at how thoroughly we ridicule these pieces. Not because they're not deserving of ridicule, but because it inevitably looks like a couple of pages of "you'd have to be stupid to fall for that!"
And sure, the script is beyond ridiculous. And the stories of people experiencing it are hilarious and bizarre. BUT a good manipulator with a little bit of imagination is going to be able to run with these concepts.
Aaaaand I just wrote out an involved scenario where it would definitely work based on this (it would take a slow build up, like any emotional abuse), but thought maybe I didn't want any PUAs reading it. :/
Basically, I was brought up by a family that alternated between telling me I'm wonderful and telling me [sic] I destroy everything I touch. This means I am incredibly sensitive to tone: it takes only the tiniest amount of imagination to picture a scenario where my partner going and standing in a doorway makes me shrink inside to a quivering, non-functioning blob.
So yeah. The people who imagine this are unbelievably revolting human beings.