So there’s an old school type of Pickup Artistry called Speed Seduction in which, instead of simply trying to manipulate the ladies into bed, our would-be seducers try to literally hypnotize their prey by repeating prefabricated “patterns” that supposedly work on people’s subconscious minds without them realizing it. The whole thing is based on something called Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), which most scientists seem to think is quackery. Most of the pickup techniques inspired by NLP are beyond ridiculous.
One NLP-inspired PUA “pattern,” for example, involves using the phrase “below me” when talking to the Hot Babes. Since “below me” sounds vaguely like “blow me,” you see, the Hot Babe you’re talking to will be subconsciously primed to want to give you a blow job. And no, I’m not making this up.
The creepiest PUA “pattern” I’ve run across so far is something called the “Door Pattern,” invented by some dude named Alex Domnikov, and recently brought to my attention by Mike Booth, the guy behind the hilarious Some Grey Bloke videos on Youtube.
One PUA has described the Door Pattern as “the “bad boy” of all patterns. … evil and cruel, playing on the fears and deep insecurities of women.”
Essentially, the idea behind this little routine is to manipulate any Hot Babe you’ve somehow convinced to sleep with you into desperately worrying that you’ll abandon her. Why she would consider this a bad thing, I’m not sure, as PUAs are not known for being especially sensitive lovers. But we’ll just suspend our disbelief and continue.
[TRIGGER WARNING for emotional abuse in what follows]
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So how does this dastardly Door Pattern work? Well, after you’ve had sex with a woman, and she’s feeling all glowy, you point to the door and ask her “sweetheart, what’s that over there?”
And she’ll say, “well you know, that’s a door, silly.” And you say, “yeah, you know.. I’m a real positive person, but.. I mean, can you imagine.. I mean, you don’t know what can happen from day to day, when you think about it in your mind. I mean, what would happen if I walked out that door and the door closed and as the door closed, it slammed shut, and no matter what you did, you could not open the door and you knew that you would never be able to look into my eyes again and you’d never be able to hear my voice again and you’d never be able to feel my touch again.” Ok, right here is where she starts going, “I don’t like this door business at all.”
So you reassure her a little, and then it’s back to the “door business” again:
Have some more fun with her, bring her to another orgasm or whatever and say, “you know, a terrible thing happened the other day. My friend was hit by a truck. I mean, it was awful, by the time they got him to hospital he was dead. I can’t believe it, you know? It’s almost as if, it would be a horrible thing you know when you think about..” (point towards the door) “..that no matter even if you were to get that door opened and you were to search, that you could never find me again..” Then she starts freaking out. You calibrate more on that part of, “you will never be able to see me again, you’ll never be able to hear my voice again.”
Repeat as necessary, and pretty soon any time she starts to get uppity, all you have to do is point to a door, and – ta da! – no more “bullshit” from her!
Having anchored that sense of loss and pain to the door, you can trigger it whenever needed. Whatever negative behavior may come up that you want to stop, the first time you just get up and slam the door. Whether you walk out the door depends on the level of bullshit. On later occasions you can just indicate tbe door in some manner. The example Alex gives: If he’s talking on the phone and getting any crap from her, and he knows the relation of where the door is to her desk, he says, “sweetheart, could you please turn right and take a look at what’s over there..” and that was the end of the bullshit.”
Assuming the Hot Babe doesn’t either laugh in your face and/or throw you out the first time you pull this creepy shit with her, what we’ve got here is a template for ongoing emotional abuse.
Happily, one enterprising soul has turned the Door Pattern into an ExtraNormal video. I find that the robot voice in the video meshes well with the psychopathic creepiness of the content.
The Door Pattern is not to be confused with the Doors Pattern, in which you get drunk and babble on about Nietzsche and everyone around you tells you you’re a genius.
There’s a video for that one too:
Oh, and here’s a cat singing the theme song to Game of Thrones. For some reason this popped up on YouTube when I was looking for drunk Jim Morrison videos.
It seems that blathering all over the web about your techniques means ladies know you are doing them.
@Kittehs’: The Illuminati were actually real … in the 1700s. They were founded in Bavaria. They proved to not have the staying power of, say, the Masons.
Eurosabra’s fluent in bullshit, but that’s about it. Fortunately one doesn’t really need to read him to know he’s just peddling misogynistic rubbish.
From GlennP (was stuck in moderation on page 1)
I think it is OT for this topic too.
You don’t teach manipulation at all? Have you been reading here long enough to know what we consider to be manipulation? (just so we know we’re on the same page about the meaning of the word). If you’re not sure about it, when do you think it might be viable?
I ask in all seriousness because I do believe it’s possible to teach “meeting people” skills without being misogynist. (Why you would want to hang out in the PUA community if you’re not is more of a mystery).
@cloudiah
kk. Thanks for the warning.
I KNEW that fascist asswaffle Eurosabra would ooze in here. He mist have a Google alert for PUA.
Go away, scuzzball.
cloudiah: I’m reading Lords and Ladies too.
Thanks, Falconer – I knew there was a historical basis to the Illuminati but not their origins.
Figures that the name would be a bogeyman to Owly and the like – they were against state and religious abuses and for gender equality. Yup, that’d get the tinfoil hatters raging.
GlennP: so you take money from suckers, do you feel good about yourself?
I was going to suggest you meant anti-semitic, but I thought about it, and really, he’s both.
Now I really wish I knew if I typed the right word…
I want to comment but I have nothing to say so..
baby goats.
Experience of Algerian Jews = indigenous Arabophone Jews denied Algerian citizenship, for Saharans, stateless because J**s. Or “Yahud” in Arabic. Sahrawi Jews experienced statelessness under religious law under the French (ca. 1884-1962) and statelessness under civil law under the Algerian Republic (1962, departure of the community to France.) If Palestinians talked to them, much mutual understanding could occur. Very few people have gone from being “natives” under the colonizer to being “colonizers” under the new regime literally without legislation and only a short pause for rape, murder, and spoliation by their Islamic brothers.
So I’m pro-semantic, actually.
Artist’s impression of the PUA Illuminati at the creation of the Door Pattern.
Go away, creep.
Marie: your subconscious told you the right word, ‘cos anti-semantic sure as hell describes Eurosabra’s mangling of the language! 😀
Kim: seconding what you said. GlennP: What sort of decent man is involved in PUA at all? It’s not about teaching men social self-confidence. It’s Pick-Up Artistry: doesn’t that say enough about their atttiudes toward women? Why would you want to identify as one of them if you’re not a) treating women like fuckdolls or b) in it to screw money out of suckers, as hellkell mentioned.
Yay to everyone reading more Pratchett!
@kittehs’: Adam Weishaupt founded the Illuminati, but when he was accused of sedition he fled Germany and the Illuminati collapsed.
I blame Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson for the Illuminati’s popularity in the loony Web. Steve Jackson Games, you aren’t helping.
Night, all!
So PUA doesn’t teach the basic concept that if people appear to be really bored when you’re talking to them you should stop talking?
So much for that whole improving social skills thing.
lowquacks – brilliant!
“So I’m pro-semantic, actually.” Except you don’t know the difference between semantics and Semitic. Which kind of defeats your claim.
Night, Falconer! And hooray for lowquacks!
And also for bouncy little goats — hooray!
Okay, one last comment for Marie:
Anti-semitic, I think, is the word you wanted. The semitic peoples include a whole list of folks who originated in the Arabian peninsula and the Horn of Africa, generally, but recently anti-semitism has been used to mean kicks the shit out of Jews, either figuratively or literally.
Eurosabra claims to be an Israeli Jew. He claims to be a Zionist, which means he supports running the Palestinians off their land and restoring Israel to its pre-diaspora borders, roughly speaking.
Learning The Right Lessons From History: Eurosabra is Doing It Wrong.
Now I mean it. L8r!
Night, Falconer! Hope you and Beloved and the babbies sleep well. (Or as well as can be expected …)
Cassandra – maybe boring a woman unconscious is Eurosabra’s technique?
I mentioned it on the other thread but it’s prolly lost (and any trivia is more interesting than Eurosabra): I have caved and am wearing leggings and a short tunic sans skirt.
I blame Manboobz for this moral collapse into slutty slut dressing.
@falconer
K, thanks for the info 😀 And goodnight.
I was there at the creation, having both an original Pokemon Red and Pokemon Blue cartridge from sometime in the early 1990s. It is formally exquisite entertainment, but it is also a terribly addicting game, and its effectiveness is the effectiveness of its addiction. My parents themselves wished they’d never bought the games on many occasions, withdrew the games from my brother and I (when we were grounded), then bought us newer, modified Pokemon Yellow editions contingent on us shutting up about how cool Charizard is. It appeals to those like my brother and myself, who want to motivate by catching them all. Being a pokemon master is sexy within the calculus of the Kanto region, but not all of us are (or even read) the character Red from the Pokemon Adventures comic.
… I played Solitaire with actual cards …
I was punning, dammit. I am pro-Semitic, and, well, my semantics suffer from a Hebraization of my English. Isn’t there a story of a Frondiste who accidentally shot himself raising by his visor with the end of his pistol? My memory says M. Le Comte de Soissons, probably fallibly.