Categories
creepy evil sexy ladies misogyny sluts

The search for a slut-free college

Don't let the books fool you -- these gals are up to no good!
Don’t let the books fool you — these gals are up to no good!

So the high school freshman who calls himself Bostonian42 is thinking ahead to college. And he’s got questions. Well, actually just one question, which he’s asking people about every college he’s interested in: is this college full of sluts? Because if it is, he wants none of it.

Here he is, inquiring about Dartmouth:

Dartmouth

He’s posted similar comments for eight other colleges.

Sounds like he may want to avoid whatever college it is that Amanda here is going to. (See here for more from this inadvertantly hilarious comic book.)

110

(Thanks to @MaraWritesStuff on Twitter for alerting the world to Boston42’s noble quest.)

(Oh, and I guess I’m back to posting again, though my posts may be a little light for awhile.)

Subscribe
Notify of
guest

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

321 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
cloudiah
8 years ago

Welcome back!

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Seconding the welcome back!

What is it with these whiny Boston teenagers? One who was perpetually whining that he was uglier than Quasimodo and women spat on him, now this twit.

Just how does he think he’s going to know a “promiscuous” girl from one who isn’t? Is being seen in the company of a boy enough to warn him, or does he propose sneaking around the dormitories to find out who’s doing Naughty Things and who’s Pure?

Protip, kid: if you trot out these attitudes, you’ve a fair chance the “promiscuous” girls won’t want anything to do with your judgmental little self. Trouble is, there’s every chance the others won’t, either.

Viscaria
Viscaria
8 years ago

What does he think these slutty college girls will do to him? Bewitch him, and turn him away from his righteous path? Also, lol @”also sexually conservative and attractive”. Because, of course.

I do feel a little bad picking on a 15 or 16 year old. But then, he’s not so young that he can’t form his own opinions. Not to mention the teenage girls in his vicinity don’t deserve to put up with that sort of thing.

Sid
Sid
8 years ago

That’s so sad it’s adorable.

As an aside (and please forgive me if this is an inappropriate place to ask this), are the forums still active? I attempted to sign up, but never got an activation email. Not sure if I did something wrong, or Hotmail ate it, or what.

titianblue
titianblue
8 years ago

…are they so prevalent that I won’t be able to ignore them?

Ok, so he gets to college and discovers it’s swarming with “promiscuous” young women. Why can he not ignore them, given their sex lives are none of his business? And what does his not ignoring involve, exactly? I don’t know why but I imagine him standing on street corners haranguing people …. I hope it’s no worse than that.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

I wonder how whiny he’d get if he found this attractive-but-sexually-conservative girl and she said NO to his horny little self? Or does sexually conservative mean what it does with the *cough*adult*cough* bonerwhiner brigade: fucks me and nobody but me?

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Sid – it does take a while for the activation notice to come through. I don’t know how active the forums are right now; they weren’t the last time I looked a couple of months back.

Sid
Sid
8 years ago

Yeah, I got the email like a minute after I posted. I now believe David is a ninja.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

He is, he totally is! ๐Ÿ˜€

Some Gal Not Bored at All

I think someone needs to wait until he matures a bit more before he goes to college. I am trying to remember all the people I entered college with, many of them “sexually conservative,” and if any if them would have thought to care about the sex lives of other people beyond maybe a bit of jealousy. I’m drawing a blank.

My guess is that very few college meet his criteria. Maybe Liberty University?

titianblue
titianblue
8 years ago

And I give you the “weeping angel” cat – whatever you do, don’t blink!

hellkell
hellkell
8 years ago

This kid is going to have a very rough time in college with his attitude, unless he goes to an uber-Christian school.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

titianblue – I’ve seen that video a few times and it always makes me laugh! Ninja kitty with the big black eyes …

cloudiah
8 years ago
Viscaria
Viscaria
8 years ago

I find your blog endlessly amusing, Cloudiah ๐Ÿ™‚

cloudiah
8 years ago

That is because manboobzers are endlessly amusing. ๐Ÿ˜€

Kim
Kim
8 years ago

Does he think other people have sex just to spite him? He’s not self-centered at ALL.

blitzgal
8 years ago

He doesn’t even define “promiscuous,” as if we are supposed to all just understand what he means. So I’m presuming that he means, “virgin, except she has to fuck me.”

Rise of Slimer
8 years ago

I can think of a few:
-Wheaton (IL)
-Liberty
-Bob Jones
-Oral Roberts

However, the girls there would probably expect him to pay on dates and hold open doors for them, god damn succubi . I’m delurking for the first time, hi manbooberz!

titianblue
titianblue
8 years ago

Bless him, all these other people are having the sex! And making him think about the sex! And he just can’t concentrate on his studies for all the thinking about all the sexiness!

Viscaria
Viscaria
8 years ago

@blitzgal:

So Iโ€™m presuming that he means, โ€œvirgin, except she has to fuck me.โ€

I think that’s part of it. I suspect he’s also talking about women who wear clothes he doesn’t approve of. After all, he’s not going to know how many sexual partners a given woman has had just by looking at her, and he seems to be concerned not only about potential romantic/sexual partners but also any woman he might happen to run into (see: the “so prevalent that I won’t be able to ignore them” bit).

cloudiah
8 years ago

Hi Rise of Slimer! Glad to see delurkers!

Sideliner
Sideliner
8 years ago

I read a few of his back and forth’s with other schools. He clarifies that he’s not religious or politically conservative, just sexually conservative, so I’m thinking Rise of Slimer’s list is out.

He’s a little weird with the copy/paste…not only are his questions identical, but his responses to responses are identical.

As a long time Boston resident, I’d like to clarify he is not a representative sample of my city :P.

Jayem Griffin
8 years ago

Attn: Bostonian42

Do not go to Chicago. Chicago is full of slutty sluts who sleep around and use abortion as birth control and ALSO make you wear condoms. Stay away from Chicago.

(What? I don’t want to have to deal with him.)

hellkell
hellkell
8 years ago

Austin is also a slutty, slutty hellhole. Stay faaaar away from here, Bostonian42.

Seriously though, we are full up on conservative jagoffs. No need for one more.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Welcome, Rise of Slimer!

Sideliner – that’s … weird. His fixation on women’s sex lives sounds like standard religious/conservative nonsense. I wonder if he’s just OTT insecure about his own inexperience and has some notion that people can SEE if you’re a virgin or not? It sounds like it, given his schtick about being unable to ignore all these promiscuous women on campus. OH NOES I MUST FIND ANOTHER INEXPERIENCED PERSON WHO WILL NOT SHAME ME AND THEN THE SLUTTY SLUTS WON’T SHAME ME EITHER

Sideliner
Sideliner
8 years ago

@The Kittehs’ – Yeah, the people trying to answer him seem confused too. I think the response from someone at Colby wins:

There are enough people on campus that there are people with similar interests to almost everyone here.

That about sums it up: if you want to know that much about others sex lives, you’re going to have to do the homework yourself. They don’t actually put those numbers in the brochure for you.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

Caifornia? Full of slutty sluts in slutty clothes. The whole state. Also we have legal pot dispensaries. You’d hate it here, kid – maybe stay all the way on the other coast? The residents of California thank you for this decision.

katz
8 years ago

Los Angeles is the sluttiest of all slutty places.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

And kid, don’t, just don’t, think of being an international student in Australia. The universities here are full of slutty sluts who wander around in short shorts and you won’t find anyone dressing like a Mennonite.

Sideliner
Sideliner
8 years ago

@Jayem Griffin @CassandraSays @hellkell

I have discussed it with the Royal Order of Bostonians, and we are willing to offer any of your fine states the following items in exchange for your acceptance of Bostonian42:
10 lbs of baked beans
2 dozen Boston cream donuts
1 Mark Wahlberg movie
2 complementary passes to Plimouth Plantation
Assorted Patriot, Red Sox, Celtics and Bruins gear in a variety of colors and sizes

Think about it.

Sideliner
Sideliner
8 years ago

Offer stands for all international locations as well.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

The Sluttiness OIympics will begin when the ISOC committee has decided on the host city. Have your bribes ready, contestants!

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Sideliner – LOL!

Can you make it something other than baked beans? Our trains smell bad enough as it is.

Halite
8 years ago

Canada? More like Slutlandia! STAY AWAY! SO MANY SLUTS! Also Calgary has more sluts per capita than any other city on earth. YOU WILL CATCH SLUTOTOXICITY AND DIE FROM IT.

Hey, I’m just helpful like that. I thought you all should know.

Jayem Griffin
8 years ago

@Sideliner: With all due respect, no fucking way.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

@ Sideliner

We will give you all the fresh produce you could ever need if you promise to keep him. If you insist on sending him anyway we may have to send you all the conservatives who live in Orange County in retaliation.

Jayem Griffin
8 years ago

I am now imagining a map of the world with little pinup girls doodled in the countries/states of residence of all the Manboobz commenters, with “Here Be Sluts” written underneath them.

Sideliner
Sideliner
8 years ago

@The Kitteh’s – my first thought was I could substitute clam chowder, but I don’t think that would help with your trains. Drat.

*heads back to drawing board*

Sideliner
Sideliner
8 years ago

@CassandraSays – you don’t play fair.

@Jayem Griffin – I’d be mad you won’t take him, but your map idea is a fantastic visual!

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Jayem – you could use pics from the old Jane cartoon, with relative states of undress relating to greater or lesser sluticity of the area.

Karalora
Karalora
8 years ago

Seconding katz on the OVERWHELMING SLUTTINESS of the Los Angeles area. UCLA, USC, CSUN…total slut factories.

hellkell
hellkell
8 years ago

Sideliner: gonna have to pass on your Boston bribery. I’ll send you some brisket and pralines if you take him.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

Of course if we wanted to be really evil we’d send him to Germany. Imagine his reaction to random people sunbathing naked on whatever spots of grass are available in the summer.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Iโ€™ll send you some brisket and pralines if you take him.

Make that “I’ll send you a Biscuit” and we’ll take him on. ๐Ÿ˜‰

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

oh noes, I haz woken the Blockquote Monster!

hellkell
hellkell
8 years ago

No, no Biscuit sending! He may be pure tiny orange evil, but he’s my pure tiny orange evil.

Sporklift
Sporklift
8 years ago

I will point out at this time that Milwaukee is close to Chicago and is rife with sluts. And beer. In fact, I think the beer to slut ratio is almost even, which means there’s a lot of both. I hope this guy would find this information helpful.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

*gnashes teeth*

Foiled again!

1 2 3 7