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Man Boobz Contest: Find the Whiniest, Most Entitled Response to Anita Sarkeesian

From "Damsel in Distress: Part 1 - Tropes vs Women in Video Games."
From “Damsel in Distress: Part 1 – Tropes vs Women in Video Games.”

So Anita Sarkeesian, who apparently didn’t run off with all her Kickstarter money to found a Misandist Gynarchy in the wilds of Canada, has  released the first video in her Tropes vs Women in Video Games project. (I’ve embedded it below.)

Naturally, this is causing great consternation in certain corners of the Internet (*cough* Reddit *cough cough* everywhere else that misogynistic nerds congregate *cough*). In the Man Boobz forum, Katz has started a contest to see who can find “the whiniest, brattiest, most entitled response” to Sarkeesian’s video on the Internet. So far Katz and Myoo have found a couple classic comments from irate Sarkeeianaphobes:

[H]ow does one go about stating that genders and gender roles are social constructs? I mean is evolution nothing to her? Does the patriarchy make male peacocks dress provocatively?

Yes. Yes it does.

And:

I’m gradually losing respect for the opposite sex. I’ve unfollowed people on tumblr who talk about how great she is, because it actually causes bile to rise in to my throat.

Yeah, that’s a totally reasonable response to a woman making a video about video games.

So anyway, I’m thinking we should bring the contest over here.

See what you can find! Consider it a sort of scavenger hunt.

Here’s my contribution, from the Men’s Rights subreddit, complaining that Damsels in Distress are the truly privileged ones:

mrsarkees

Amazingly, this acutally got called out on r/mr as being pretty damn stupid.

Also, I have another question, to add to the stack of other questions I’ve been asking lately: Just why do you think so many guys get so angry when girls and women invade what they consider a male sphere, like gaming? (Also, why do they consider gaming to belong to boys and men?)

Oh, and here’s the video that’s causing all this hubbub:

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Argenti Aertheri
8 years ago

Hug at pubic level? As in around the hips?

neuroticbeagle
neuroticbeagle
8 years ago

Clifford made my vagina wet.*

*With urine. I was laughing so hard I peed myself

marinerachel
marinerachel
8 years ago

I guess so. Outside of the femurs, not the pelvis, but still hips, yes.

In other news, my vagina had a great day and wanted you all to know.

marinerachel
marinerachel
8 years ago

You peed into your vagina? Can you teach me how that’s done?

neuroticbeagle
neuroticbeagle
8 years ago

@marinerachel I am wearing underwear and pants. Everything tends to get wet if you wet your pants.

Argenti Aertheri
8 years ago

Nice pussy…yeah that feels dirty, even in reference to the cat in the joke picture…

So I was just playing in tvtropes looking for a Reid-centric Criminal Minds (cuz I really will take men either lanky or plump isn’t even the right word…undefined? Enough to hold onto? Y’all know what I mean!) — my favorite lanky geek boy aside though, I click “but liquor is quicker” and it’s about “loosen inhibitions” with a bit about specifically for sex…no real world examples, that’s stat rape in many jurisdictions and might open a few cans of worms. Yeah, the wording could be stronger, but fuck, they get that getting someone drunk to enable sex is rape, it’s a goddamned start.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

“But liquor is quicker” reads as an Ozzy/suicide reference to me.

(Not that you’re wrong, just having a metalhead moment.)

Argenti Aertheri
8 years ago

Really? Because I always go to “candy is dandy but liquor is quicker” — Wonka style. (Oh Christ, the movie while tripping…Pure Imagination is probably my favorite song ever now, because of what it represents…and that sounds like I’m way drunker than I am…)

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

I think the actual line is “wine is fine but whiskey is quicker”.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Hey, did Pell have to go work at the gym (‘cos gyms totally offer jobs to anyone who happens to be working out there) after he got booted from his *mumblemumble* job at *mumblemumble* university for trying to grope the students?

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

Hey, he always has his part time job as a doctor/psychiatrist to fall back on!

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Poor confused MontyCliffordPell, one minute it’s all “I’m so ripped and gorgeous women’s vaginas get all wet when I walk down the street, because SCIENCE” and the next it’s all “oooh ick stop talking about your disgusting gushy vaginas”.

Which reinforces my suspicion that little Pelly boy never has and never will have anything to do with a vagina.

Go buy a Fleshlight, kid. Just remember, you’ll have to clean it yourself, though. OH THE MISANDRY!

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

I don’t think they let people buy those until they’re a little older…

(I’m guessing he’s 16, tops.)

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

“And when I say “I” what I mean is my vagina. My vagina just got home, and my vagina is drunk.”

Shame cloudiah, you mean you let your vagina go out drinking all on its own???

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

“I don’t think they let people buy those until they’re a little older…

(I’m guessing he’s 16, tops.)”

Maybe Uncle Monty can buy one for him.

katz
8 years ago

…Again?

And while I was gone? Again?

grumblegrumbleupdatethebiographygrumble

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

He’s doing you a favour, katz – gotta keep all us unemployed people occupied, y’know!

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

I still think it might be one guy with 50 different internet personas and a really creepy obsession with this blog.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

He is the 99% …

Argenti Aertheri
8 years ago

Kitteh just an another internet.

katz — at least he was quick to Pelltdown (whoever said that? best term ever) — women like blonde white buff men with muscles and blue eyes, even if they say otherwise; he’s working on his 7th and 8th abs and works at a gym. And idk how much of it matters, but that rant about two sides to everything. Check the other current threads too, he dropped one or two comments in basically all of them.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Twice for a recycled joke, I am teh GREEN internet winner!

::strains brain:: I can’t recall who invented Pelltdown. I remember seeing it but not who should be congratulated.

If he thinks Mr’s dyeing his hair blonde just to prove a point, he can think again. Blech!

katz
8 years ago

OK, that was totally worth staying up for. He’s in rare form. The thing I love about Pell is that, every time, he makes up a different specialty for himself. Anyone want to bet on what he’ll pick next? Remember, law, medicine, computer science, statistics, psychiatry, photography, gaming, and now exercise have all been done.

Argenti Aertheri
8 years ago

Hmm, well, probably not music, because of the “you’d be famous” problem. Nor politics, same reason. But something prestigious, at least in a subculture…general though, works at gym, doctor, law, not personally trainer or yogi or anything, nor neurosurgeon or family doctor or ER, nor divorce lawyer, litigator, etc.

Probably just giving him tips >.<

All in all, up and coming sports, business something or other prestigious but unspecified, entrepreneur who won’t say what field because we might steal his idea (actually, probably that one, unless he’s smart enough to avoid my guesses)

Whatever it is, I’m sure it will be something he thinks people respect, maybe something he aspires to be (6 pack? wishes he worked out more // wasn’t so lazy), but general enough to fudge around when called out or questioned.

/armchair psych

hellkell
hellkell
8 years ago

So this is M. Al pretending to be Pell, right?

AL: get a life, you sad bastard with piss poor boundaries and negative self-esteem. If this the only way you can get women to talk to you, you may want to have a think about your life choices. I’m so tired of your shit.

My vagina doesn’t seem to respond to blond men at all. Is it broken?

Mine too. My vagina secretly rules the world, though.

katz
8 years ago

Hmm, well, probably not music, because of the “you’d be famous” problem. Nor politics, same reason.

When has obvious refutability ever stopped him? He claimed his family came over on the friggin’ Mayflower.

Ooh, I’ve got it: Pilot or astronaut.

Viscaria
Viscaria
8 years ago

So I checked and Pell was definitely using blockquotes before he went into full melt-down mode, which reinforces my belief that he likes getting caught. Thank goodness I wasn’t that obnoxious as a teen.

Viscaria
Viscaria
8 years ago

So I checked and Pell was definitely using blockquotes before he went into full melt-down mode, which reinforces my belief that he likes getting caught. Thank goodness I wasn’t that obnoxious as a teen.

Marie
8 years ago

@viscaria

@Marie, having been where you are now, I would suggest go to bed before future-you gets super mad. But maybe future-you is more forgiving than future-me!

No worries, I ended up doing just that XD lets see how the troll went w/o me. Super long comment ahead, because the moment I think a response I tend to type it.

@clifford

Now I’m one of the fittest people on any given sidewalk, and if only takes about an hour a day *flexes*

… Armstrong? http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m2zpgiE5Hl1qezk6n.gif

When I walk down the street people stop and admire my guns.

Ok, now I just know you’re making things up.

You’re all fucking losers on the fatmobile except for when you sto[p at mcdonald’s to gorge on whoppers.

Can my fatmobile stop somewhere else? I don’t like mcdonalds.

When I walk down the street I wear tight tank tops to show every etch of my pecs and abs, because I want everyone to see what i’ve worked for. Every ab stands out in sharp relief, and I see the females looking out for the fatmobile and laugh.

Ohmygod, this is perfect XD. Even in the winter?

Like Elam said females can get away with any crime, get sex and dating, and get coddled. It’s rare to see a female with pecs and abs.

ok, it would be harder to see pecs on a woman with bigger boobs, since they’d be, you know, covering her pecs.

Evolution designed them to want a specified blueprint, so I sculpt myself after that blueprint.

I’m am 95% sure if there was only one way for humans to evolve a butt more of us would look like that. Also “evolution designed”? omg is it sentient now?

If what Clifford does to vaginas worked on other forms of moisture we could all stop worrying about rising sea levels.

Shit, I just died laughing XD

All females have the same preferences, because you weren’t custom designed by god, you were mass produced by evolution. Your vaginas wetten in the presence of a blueprint. Therefore every man who is like the blueprint will wetten your vaginas. This is scientific fact.

you…you really have no idea how evolution works, do you?

Cassandrasays nobody wants to hear your vagina updates. No one gives a shit about your lubrication level, stop making this thread about that.

Don’t go telling us how wet our vaginas are if we aren’t allowed to correct you 😉

I got a plumber to come fix my vagina recently so it hasn’t been leaking so much.

So glad I wasn’t drinking anything XD

My vagina doesn’t seem to respond to blond men at all. Is it broken?

Yeah, you should probably ask Evolution to replace it for you.

Your vagina is going to be swamped in paperwork.

XD I cannot believe I missed this thread! Curse you, sleep! Curse you!

Pell has a mom? Are you implying… HE CAME OUT OF A VAGINA?

But vagina’s are so gross guys!!!!eleven!!!1

She hates interacting with other vaginas. She gets so jealous.

*continues being sad that I missed this XD*

thebewilderness
thebewilderness
8 years ago

I best liked the part where he totally misunderstood why peeps were staring at him on the street.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

It is kind of funny that one of our trolls is now pretending to be one of our other trolls. Unless..dun dun dun!…they’ve both always been the same guy, which would be both hilarious and really sad.

Argenti Aertheri
8 years ago

Fuck was that Mr. Al? Dude seriously needs therapy, proto.

Shiraz
Shiraz
8 years ago

Wow. Just caught up with the thread — all the bits that came after I went to bed. Was that troll the same one who barged in on another thread and started poo-poohing Chris Hemsworth? Because cliffy’s idea of the superior “blueprint” for a man sounded an awful lot like Thor. But then he claimed to look like Thor, more or less, then proceeded to curse us damn females for liking those Valhalla types — which is weird, because he freaking claimed to look just like Thor.
Naturally vagina talk warded him away — just like the infamous pube warding spell that kept baby cynic temporarily at bay. Funny, they’re obsessed with getting laid, but seem to be geuinely terrified and disgusted by the actual bits they’d have contact with if they should ever find themselves getting any… or that vaginas are paired with an actual human person who has opinions and thinks. That must be frustrating.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

@ Shiraz

We’re working on a new theory that we only have a couple of trolls and they each have eleventy billion different personas.

katz
8 years ago

Nah, I don’t think it’s Mr. Al. It’s a classic Pelltdown start to finish and I honestly don’t think Al has ever been that good at socking.

Shiraz
Shiraz
8 years ago

OK. Well, the fat-shaming came out of left field.

“You women are fat, and I hate you I hate you I hate you!!!” In the meantime, he’s blessed with guns. *giggle*

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Shiraz – “But then he claimed to look like Thor, more or less, then proceeded to curse us damn females for liking those Valhalla types — which is weird, because he freaking claimed to look just like Thor.”

Could be that even though he looks totally like Thor, women ignore him (or point and laugh) anyway. 😉

hellkell
hellkell
8 years ago

Shiraz: LOL at “pube warding spell.” So true.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

The Pube Terror thread was wonderful.

katz
8 years ago

Well, he has previously gone off on fat women (and accused women who disagreed with him of being fat).

Shiraz
Shiraz
8 years ago

Kitteh:
That or he was lying…I mean, he actually sounded like someone who would cannibalize Hemsworth just to obtain his magic Alpha properties.

Hellkell, I can’t help it…that was a good time!

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Lying? A troll lying?

::faints::

Shiraz
Shiraz
8 years ago

*catching you*

And there we have it — a trust fall!

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

All we’re saying is, maybe someone should warn the Hemsworth brothers about the kid who might try to eat their livers as a way to get taller and more buff. You know, just in case.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

A trust fall?

FEED ME CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES TO RESTORE MY FAITH

Shiraz
Shiraz
8 years ago

@Kitteh. here you go *Handing you a cookie*

Cassandra, I’d hate to write that email/letter:

Dear Hemsworth Brothers, your lives are in danger…”

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

*nom nom nom*

LBT
LBT
8 years ago

Goddammit, I MISSED the peltdown! I am so sad! But I really was falling asleep at the keyboard.

My junk is also sad, but that is for entirely different reasons. (Going off hormones, I’ve discovered, has called me some issues that I didn’t expect. Or maybe Pell just cured me of my libido.)

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

Or maybe Pell just cured me of my libido.)

Always too horny? Feel like your libido is interfering with your ability to work or study? Ask your doctor about Pell today! Guaranteed to kill any libido in 15 minutes or less.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

😀 😀 😀