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Getting their PUAHate on

Early PUAs hold a "boot camp" on a beach.
Early PUAs hold a “boot camp” on a beach.

PUAHAte.com is an … interesting place. A site for debunking the ridiculous claims and shitty behavior of Pickup Artists? Sounds great – at least until you realize that the denizens are mostly dudes who hate PUAs for all the wrong reasons. That is, they hate PUAs not so much for being manipulative scumbags but for being ineffective manipulative scumbags — whose alleged magic formulas for bedding the hot babes don’t really work.

The other day I was introduced to a fledgling Twitter account, @puahate_txt, which reposts hilariously awful comments from PUAhate.com. This inspired me to take another look at the site and do a little poking around for awful quotes on my own. They weren’t hard to find. (It’s harder, really, to find comments that aren’t awful.)

Here’s one charming fellow, who calls himself ToadLookingMaggot, and who holds a grudge against the entire female gender because of a $3 loan gone awry.

After reading ” The manipulated man ” i saw women really for what they where, little selfish Moneysucking vampire Whores.

This rinsing stuff starts in high school if not earlier they try to leech money, food, free rides and basically anything that benefits them in some kind of form. I borrowed a female 3 dollars for meal a meal one time, for months she said that she was going to let me have it and in the end i never got them back.

It doesn’t matter if it’s 2 dollars or 2.000 dollars there freaks never pay you back. Only idiots buy drinks for women.

Men are ruining women because they let them get away with anything. Never in my life will i ever spend money on women unless we pay 5050 on a date.

Uh, obvious question here, but if you hate women, and think that they’re all “Moneysucking vampire Whores,” WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO DATE THEM? I’m pretty sure that you’re not going to find many interested in you either, at least not after they get a whiff of your personality.

And that’s your PERSONALITY, not your looks. PUAhaters seem obsessed with the notion that women only date male models, and spend a lot of time bemoaning their own looks – I just quoted a guy who describes himself as a ToadLookingMaggot, after all. Yet whenever they post pictures of themselves they seem to be completely normal, average, not-actually-bad-looking-at-all guys. Guys, your problem isn’t your lack of beauty on the outside. What’s ugly is your attitudes.

Speaking of which, here’s RomanCitizen, a self-described Incel, lamenting that life is sad to all but the “top 10%” of men? Why? Because ladies walk around looking all pretty, yet for some reason they do not allow RomanCitizen to fuck them.

The life of man is a sad one

Excluding the top 10%.

Born into a world of plenty, of abundance, of denial.

See, smell, imagine.

Do not taste, touch, feel.

Like a caged animal in a harem, fed only occasionally fish heads (scraps in the game).

And when the caged animal gets the fish head (scrap), he is happy and rationalizes his pitiful existence, like many men …

But, the cage is still a cage. A fish head – still a fish head.

PROTIP: If you think of the women you don’t find sufficiently desirable as “fish heads,” and walk around in a perpetual boner-rage, you’re probably not going to seem especially charming to the women you do find desirable. Or to anyone else except perhaps the denizens of PUAHate.com. And not all of them, either.

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lowquacks
lowquacks
11 years ago

However, that being said, nobody wants to date, be friends with, or otherwise associate with a person who isn’t even trying to do something with his/her life. Would you be attracted to a person who wasn’t working, had no interest in working, no particular interests or passions in life, who was just content to survive off someone else, or a series of other people? I wouldn’t, and you shouldn’t, either.

Idk, there are some pretty amazing unemployed layabouts around.

Re: “borrowed” – I think that’s a Northern (i.e. Northern English) thing. Possibly East Anglian or Midlands, but my dad uses a lot of that vernacular but not “borrowed”. Certainly somewhere provincial and slightly depressing.

Catfish
Catfish
11 years ago

Doesn’t celibate mean “not marrying” and abstaining from sex?
I’m just saying that calling oneself involuntarily celibate doesn’t really make sense unless these guys want to get married but can’t (because women are bitches).

It just seems to me most of these guys only complain about the lack of ladies orbiting their dicks, and a lot don’t want to marry to begin with.
Just a thought.

PUAs on the other hand, are simultaneously hilarious and creepy.
The few PUA methods I’ve read through are either completely stupid or not different from any relationship advice I’ve seen in lifetime magazines (a lot of which is also ineffectual or just applies to specific types of – usually stereotypical – people). When they are not incredibly rapey that is.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
11 years ago

lack of ladies orbiting their dicks,

I really shouldn’t share the image I had from that …

Yes, we had the whole celibacy discussion in a recent thread (can’t recall which one) – I said the same thing, that celibacy is NOT the word they’re looking for, it has much more meaning than “not getting laid”.

“Incel” definitely deserves scare quotes, because it is Not a Thing and these creepsters don’t deserve of the validation – even unintentional – that comes from using the word as if it is.

My favourite use of “borrowed” just came back to me; it was in a Pogo strip from the 70s, and was Spiro Agnew (drawn as a hyena in a sort of military dictator getup) saying “Lend me the borry of your hat.”

LTRs: I guess I could say I met Mr K in the library at college, if you go from when I saw his picture (apart from seeing a really bad copy of it when I was a kid … or the unnamed cartoon version of him in The Three Musketeers series in The Banana Splits*). For when I first heard or saw him many years later, memory is a bit fuzzy! 😀

*Unnamed, looked nothing like him, but I always hung out for episodes where the King came into it … weird, no?

melody
melody
11 years ago

Celibacy as defined by webster means abstaining. Abstaining is a deliberate choice. So, I agree with you Catfish that the phrase “involuntarily celibate” doesn’t make sense.

Dvärghundspossen
11 years ago

Thinking about it, I wonder if the 23 % internet dating in the statistics I posted includes people who met through some website which isn’t a dating site, decided to go on a date and ended up in an LTR? If so, I can understand the high percentage. If it only includes people who met through actual dating sites I think it’s surprisingly high.

I was a member of an internet board for dog owners for several years before I tired of it (a big board with thousands and thousands of members), but during these years it happened repeatedly that some members started flirting, went chatting in private, decided to go on a date irl and ended up in an LTR. Maybe this is just dog people, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it were a common thing on websites devoted to other hobbies and interests as well.

Kim
Kim
11 years ago

Personally, I’d put meeting on a dog related board as meeting because of a hobby, and limit “Internet dating” to time spent on the internet actively looking for a date. Does it say in the study what their definitions are? or if they asked people to clarify? And, what do they consider a LTR?

Dvärghundspossen
11 years ago

I read the article again, and it actually seems as if “internet dating” is merely meeting on a dating site. But I can’t find the original research, so I don’t know what their definitions were.

Trae Dorn
Trae Dorn
11 years ago

So they use borrow when they mean lend and celibacy when they mean abstinence. Is anyone surprised these guys can’t get their words right?

I mean, stupidity and an inability to look things up seems to be right in character for these guys 😛

Jessay (@jessay)
11 years ago

@Shaenon, it’s all about Charlie!

Ughh, the talk about not brushing teeth. I go crazy if I have to skip a day because I dropped my toothbrush on the floor or something, lol. I can’t imagine going half a year. Like, it would just feel disgusting.

@BRZ if not having a girlfriend can send you that far over the edge it’s not a gf you need, but serious psychological help. Whatever happened to being happy with the person you are and your friends and letting a relationship happen when it happens? Just dwelling on the lack of one is going to almost guarantee it’s not going to happen for you. Not having a gf =/= being a social outcast. And you can invite people over for a movie night or some other cheap night in. It’s hard to be without friends and for some it’s really hard to make them, but you can’t make or keep friends if you’re unwilling to get creative in tough times.

BTW, if a guy is really suffering extreme depression where he can’t take care of himself he can seek out disability. It’s a pain in the ass and a lot of paperwork, but it is a possibility.

And speaking of NWO, I saw an old comment of his on an article I was reading today. It was weird. Spewing th same old shit though.

As for where we’ve found relationships, in reverse chronological order

Coworker
Coworker
At a show in a bar (I actually blew off going to another bar with this famous actor whose band I went to see because I was so taken by this guy who was a perpetual student nearing 30 when I was 21, so f your bullshit hypergamy theories)
OKCupid (ok this relationship lasted a month but I struggled with LTR when I was young so a month was a long time for me)
At a show in a nightclub

Now that I think about it, I’ve never met a LTR through a friend. But casually dated a few.

Dvärghundspossen
11 years ago

Re PUA, a friend recently posted a comment on Facebook about Swedish PUA Henrik Fexéus being creepy… Now I haven’t read his book, but I commented back that whatever advice he gives he’s gotta be leagues ahead of people like Roosh and Roissy, considering he aimed his book at all genders and orientations. So whatever that book actually contains, rest assured it could have been way worse…

Tina
Tina
11 years ago

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=incel

Welcome to the real world. Like we women have never felt like this, too. Like most people haven’t felt like this. Whiney.

Tina
Tina
11 years ago

BigKitty: the long comment picking apart Brz, wonderfully said.

Dvärghundspossen
11 years ago

@Tina: And apparently ALL “incels” are wonderful, wonderful people who are merely scorned by women because TEH WOMENZ ARE EVOL!

Jessay (@jessay)
11 years ago

Yeah, men who want others to commit suicide for the cause are super wonderful and deserving of all women. Just hand them over.

titianblue
titianblue
11 years ago

OMG, actual (well, alleged) spermjacking! Not quite as sexy as the MRAs’ fantasy version but still …. Manosphere will explode over this!

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-21641073

hellkell
hellkell
11 years ago

On topic! Do people seriously establish long term relationships with people they meet at bars and clubs?

That’s how I “met” Mr. HK. I put met in quotes because while we work for the same company, his department was in a different building. I knew who he was by sight, but we had never talked before we were all at a happy hour.

starskita
starskita
11 years ago

I didn’t meet my husband in a bar or a club, but we met at a party, where at least one of us was intoxicated.

We started dating at another party where both of us were very intoxicated. Note that neither of us used any “game” nor did anybody try to take advantage of anybody else.

Some Gal Not Bored at All

My first date with the boyfriend was a group outing at a club. We spent the whole time in the courtyard talking.

The “moral”: Some bars and clubs are more conducive to getting to know someone than others.

Nepenthe
Nepenthe
11 years ago

My parents met at a frat party. 39 years coming up soon.

(My mom was freaking out over online dating. She was like “It’s not safe! They could be anyone!” And I was like “And how did you guys meet?” “Oh, well, we were both drunk at a party… I get your point.”)

drst
drst
11 years ago

Someone needs to make an accurate Urban Dictionary definition of incel so we can upvote it.

whataboutthemoonz
11 years ago

The second definition of incel says that women cause men emotional trauma by not dating them.

EMOTIONAL. FUCKING. TRAUMA. For not dating them.

Viscaria
Viscaria
11 years ago

I knew my bf vaguely from work and had already decided I was interested beforehand (as had he), but the first time we actively flirted was at a big party with much drinking. We scheduled our first date on the phone the next morning, after we had both sobered up.

Some Gal Not Bored at All

The second definition of incel says that women cause men emotional trauma by not dating them.

EMOTIONAL. FUCKING. TRAUMA. For not dating them.

Well they cause me emotional fucking trauma by attempting to extort me into dating them. So there. 😛

Marie
11 years ago

re:urban dictionary.

I skimmed the definition since I’m super flighty, and somehow missed the emotional trauma bit O_o. Kinda grossed out right now.

emilygoddess
11 years ago

I’m seriously wondering if GGG wrote that Urban Dictionary definition.

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