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Getting their PUAHate on

Early PUAs hold a "boot camp" on a beach.
Early PUAs hold a “boot camp” on a beach.

PUAHAte.com is an … interesting place. A site for debunking the ridiculous claims and shitty behavior of Pickup Artists? Sounds great – at least until you realize that the denizens are mostly dudes who hate PUAs for all the wrong reasons. That is, they hate PUAs not so much for being manipulative scumbags but for being ineffective manipulative scumbags — whose alleged magic formulas for bedding the hot babes don’t really work.

The other day I was introduced to a fledgling Twitter account, @puahate_txt, which reposts hilariously awful comments from PUAhate.com. This inspired me to take another look at the site and do a little poking around for awful quotes on my own. They weren’t hard to find. (It’s harder, really, to find comments that aren’t awful.)

Here’s one charming fellow, who calls himself ToadLookingMaggot, and who holds a grudge against the entire female gender because of a $3 loan gone awry.

After reading ” The manipulated man ” i saw women really for what they where, little selfish Moneysucking vampire Whores.

This rinsing stuff starts in high school if not earlier they try to leech money, food, free rides and basically anything that benefits them in some kind of form. I borrowed a female 3 dollars for meal a meal one time, for months she said that she was going to let me have it and in the end i never got them back.

It doesn’t matter if it’s 2 dollars or 2.000 dollars there freaks never pay you back. Only idiots buy drinks for women.

Men are ruining women because they let them get away with anything. Never in my life will i ever spend money on women unless we pay 5050 on a date.

Uh, obvious question here, but if you hate women, and think that they’re all “Moneysucking vampire Whores,” WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO DATE THEM? I’m pretty sure that you’re not going to find many interested in you either, at least not after they get a whiff of your personality.

And that’s your PERSONALITY, not your looks. PUAhaters seem obsessed with the notion that women only date male models, and spend a lot of time bemoaning their own looks – I just quoted a guy who describes himself as a ToadLookingMaggot, after all. Yet whenever they post pictures of themselves they seem to be completely normal, average, not-actually-bad-looking-at-all guys. Guys, your problem isn’t your lack of beauty on the outside. What’s ugly is your attitudes.

Speaking of which, here’s RomanCitizen, a self-described Incel, lamenting that life is sad to all but the “top 10%” of men? Why? Because ladies walk around looking all pretty, yet for some reason they do not allow RomanCitizen to fuck them.

The life of man is a sad one

Excluding the top 10%.

Born into a world of plenty, of abundance, of denial.

See, smell, imagine.

Do not taste, touch, feel.

Like a caged animal in a harem, fed only occasionally fish heads (scraps in the game).

And when the caged animal gets the fish head (scrap), he is happy and rationalizes his pitiful existence, like many men …

But, the cage is still a cage. A fish head – still a fish head.

PROTIP: If you think of the women you don’t find sufficiently desirable as “fish heads,” and walk around in a perpetual boner-rage, you’re probably not going to seem especially charming to the women you do find desirable. Or to anyone else except perhaps the denizens of PUAHate.com. And not all of them, either.

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LBT
LBT
11 years ago

RE: Molly Ren

Yeah, lack of car is really rough, depending on the region. At this point, I specifically rig my moves to be places where no car is required. A car is a WAY bigger investment than a goddamn cover charge.

RE: Some Gal

Huh. That actually makes a fair amount of sense, in a way.

Trae Dorn
11 years ago

Brz wrote

People socialize in big cities by going into bars/clubs/gyms, places you need money to enter.

Speak for yourself. I’ve spent most of my life living in big cities, and you just named three places I never go to.

I’m just starting to believe you’re the least creative person I’ve ever encountered.

Tulgey Logger
Tulgey Logger
11 years ago

Sorry Brz, I am too busy listening to Justice Sotomayor schooling a racist.

Someone please tell me this is a thing I can listen to on the internets.

BigKitty
BigKitty
11 years ago

Brz – jeez, where to begin? What the hell, I’m feeling kinda chewy:

1. Being poor/unemployed sucks for everybody, men and women alike, but it does NOT mean nobody will meet you for coffee/find you charming and attractive/want to date you. (Um. . . er. . . well, I mean “you,” as in, “hypothetical poor/unemployed person who might actually be charming and attractive.” Odds of any human of any gender finding you personally, as in Brz, charming and attractive may be rather longer.)

2. You suddenly jump from “women won’t go for coffee with an unemployed white dude” to “women won’t share their life with an unemployed white dude.” Whoa – there’s a bit of a difference! I daresay most people, men and women alike, don’t “share their life” with ANY random, hypothetical person, employed or not. Women, and men, decide to “share their life” with someone else after knowing them, having lots of experiences with them, developing intimacy and love with them.

If you mean “women won’t give an unemployed white dude a chance,” then I’d like to know how you define “women.” I mean, I’m a woman, and in my life, I’ve dated and had long-term relationships with two wonderful dudes who were both unemployed (ok, one of them was Asian, but still) when I met them. So I suspect that when you say “women,” you actually mean “that quite-small subset of women who are not only tall, slender (but with big gazongas!), blonde and under 25, but who ALSO frequent certain kinds of bars and clubs where hedge-fund managers and investment bankers look for trophy girlfriends; and who ALSO are never seen without full-Hollywood makeup/hair, $1000 shoes and designer outfits.” In other words, you first define “women” as “stereotypical gold-diggers,” and then bitch about how ‘women” won’t have coffee with unemployed dudes.

3. Before we leave the “no dates for unemployed dudes” subject, let me also add that there’s unemployed, and then there’s “unemployed.” The first is a temporary problem; the second is an extremely unattractive lifestyle.

We live in troubled times; it’s hard to get a job in a major recession. However, that being said, nobody wants to date, be friends with, or otherwise associate with a person who isn’t even trying to do something with his/her life. Would you be attracted to a person who wasn’t working, had no interest in working, no particular interests or passions in life, who was just content to survive off someone else, or a series of other people? I wouldn’t, and you shouldn’t, either.

4. OK, now here it gets deep.

You wrote: “No support, no welfare, no compassion for white hereto dudes, but we’ll police them to prevent them from being racist by complaining that welfare only goes to non-white or to be sexist by trying to pick up in the street ”

This has to be picked apart in pieces, so let’s go with 4(a), (b), (c), etc.

4(a): ‘No support, welfare or compassion for white hetero dudes.’ First, it’s not true: welfare, insomuch as it still exists (in a pathetic skeleton-form that provides ridiculously inadequate financial assistance to poor people for a lifetime total of 5 years, called “TANF” – look it up, it is an embarrassment) is totally available to white hetero single dudes. It is insultingly, impossibly inadequate, but it is no less available to white hetero single dudes than to anyone else.

4(b): Who are the voters who keep electing Republican politicians – the ones who hate the very concept of a social safety net, and who think compassion is for losers? The ones who champion the blathering madness of Ron Paul, sonny Rand Paul, their sidekick Paul Ryan, and their cannibal/reptile goddess, Ayn Rand? The ones who applaud and cheer when a politician says a poor dude without health insurance (as I recall, he was a hetero white dude) should JUST DIE? If you are suddenly all butthurt about how white hetero dudes can’t get “welfare” – just see 4(a) above, if you still believe that “welfare” is a thing.

4(c): So, poor white dudes are cruelly policed to make sure they won’t complain that welfare only goes to non-white people? That’s your next complaint? WELLL, honey, your problem here is that the overwhelming majority of government assistance to poor people in the USA (horribly and unacceptably inadequate as it is) goes to white people. You are just wrong. In terms of facts. So maybe you should put a lid on the whining.

4(d): And now comes the part where you’re all butthurt because women are grossed out by your icky PUA attempts in the street. (If there were no other evidence that you are not a Frenchman, this bit alone would prove it. No actual Frenchman worthy of his noble heritage would lower himself to hit on a strange woman in the street as crudely and unattractively as you would.)

(My personal favorite experience of being hit on by a Frenchman hearkens back to my younger days, 1993 or so. While walking through an unfamiliar part of Paris, looking for a music store, I happened upon a guy who saw me looking at my guidebook. Dude asked, very casually, “Can I help you find something?” I said, “Maybe – have you ever heard of a music store called “Flute de Pan?” Dude smiled, said “I know it well, and I’d be pleased to take you there. I’d also be delighted if you’ll join me for a coffee afterwards.” I did, he did, we did – we had a nice coffee date, but didn’t turn out to be an item. Still remember how nice it was to be hit on by a dude who didn’t expect anything. Frenchmen Rule!!!)

Binjabreel
Binjabreel
11 years ago

Thanks for the welcome, Some Gal! Also, that totes makes sense, people with property and status and money would be much more interested in arranged marriages so they can maintain/increase said property/status/money; only the grinding poor would’ve bothered with such trifles like, “Do I actually like this person?”

And @Brz:

Hah, screw you. I worked my ass off for a degree then spent the next six damn years working one barely-above minimum wage job after another with well over $30k in debt hanging over my head during our glorious Lost Decade under Bush the Second. Even when I was out of work I opened a bread stand at the farmer’s market, sold my art, worked as a private tutor, got on damn food stamps, taught myself to rebuild PC’s and sold vegan baked goods to a local coffeeshop. And you know what? Almost every one of those things led me to meet new people (Well, not so much the getting-on-food-stamps, but hey, eating is nice too.)

Plus, a big city is a much easier place to be poor than the country. I’ve tried both, and let me tell you, even though living on a farm means you get to grow and raise and hunt for some of your own food (Damn I got good at cooking an entire dinner out of tomatoes and zucchini), but fuck I’d have traded all of that for the ability to *WALK* somewhere.

Trae Dorn
11 years ago

Hell, Big cities mean bus system – which means you can live without a car.

Brz
Brz
11 years ago

@Trae Dorn

As for me, I’ve never encountered you but I’m sure you’re a very creative person who respect women and who can’t be assimilated with those jerks who write misogynist stuff Internet and are not creative persons like you.

AK
AK
11 years ago

Seriously, the whole “broke guys can’t date” cracks me up. I know tons of broke guys with little chance of changing that (like, we’re talking generational poverty, or punk rockers with facial tattoos, or small farming communities with no jobs) who have great romantic relationships and no problems getting dates. They’re just decent guys who actually have something to offer despite their lack of finances.

Shiraz
Shiraz
11 years ago

I just realized…I don’t know any rich dudes.

Some Gal Not Bored at All

I lost my virginity to a guy crashing on his aunt’s couch. I didn’t know him well, but I am pretty sure he wasn’t rolling in dough.

WeeBoy
WeeBoy
11 years ago

Get a guitar and tell people you’re in an amazing Indy band being screwed over by the recording industry. That will allow you to date a woman and live rent free in her apartment while you are “making your new demo”.

(I keed, I keed)

LBT
LBT
11 years ago

Re: Shiraz

I know rich dudes. My grandfather was one. (Petroleum geologist.) I have a friend who works in the patent office, and though he’s probably comfortably middle-class or higher now, I have no doubt he’ll reach his goal of making $100K a year. HIS father is a lawyer. My father was friendly with rich dudes who did things I didn’t even UNDERSTAND.

Plus I was on a cruise ship once. Now THAT was a weird experience, class-wise. I was ribbed for only eating meat once a day. (Which was actually rather difficult, with the menu.)

hellkell
hellkell
11 years ago

WeeBoy: Ha, not kidding by much. Like the old joke: what do you call a drummer without a girlfriend? Homeless.

Ghost Betty
Ghost Betty
11 years ago

Yeah, regarding the girls don’t date broke guys thing–my sister’s now-husband was living under a bridge in Vienna when she met him. She was an exchange student and he was a ski bum/sometime carpenter who saved money by not paying rent. She still makes more money than he does, and probably always will. And when she met him, she was a hot, slim, large-breasted 20-year-old (seriously, I will always be jealous of my sister’s tits, even after 3 kids). In other words, the kind of girl these manosphere asshats always assume would only be dating rich investment bankers. Protip: not all hot young girls want a sugar daddy. Plenty of them want someone who’s interested in the heart underneath that sweet rack. If you’re focusing on the gold diggers, you’re doing it wrong.

Behind the Orange Curtain
Behind the Orange Curtain
11 years ago

I don’t know what Brz means by socializing at the gym, when I go to the gym I go to work out, and I find the people treating the gym like a meat market a little annoying

joanimal
joanimal
11 years ago

When my wife (girlfriend at the time) and I were broke, it kinda sucked. We applied for food stamps and welfare. Received the former but not the latter, something to do with the umbrage my wife expressed when they asked personal questions.

A friend of ours had bought a 100 pound bag of apples and a 100 pound bag of rice and shared them with us. We used the food stamps to buy things like tofu and canned pineapple to season the rice.

That was the summer the Winchell’s Donut Corp introduced chocolate chip cookies, offering free cookies for the coupons placed in newspapers, no purchase necessary.

I was really sick of pineapple, rice, and chocolate chip cookies by the end of that summer.

Makes a funny story now. LOL

thebewilderness
thebewilderness
11 years ago

Back in the day they called it “walking out” with whooziwhatsit. Walking, and then you go outside with your friend that you want to get to know better, and maybe you window shop if you live in the city or walk to the park. Really! This is not ancient history.
Sorry Tulgy, they do not record SCOTUS sessions and it is a damn shame too. From what Maddow said about her visit to the court yesterday we would all enjoy seeing them. She said Scalia is like an internet troll who says inappropriate things for the pleasure of shocking people. I saw a clip of her on the Daily Show.

Some Gal Not Bored at All

@thebewilderness

I saw her on The Daily Show and all I could think of was our trolls here. Scary to think of them having any power. If my disgust for Scalia didn’t overwhelm all other emotions, I’d find him terrifying.

melody
11 years ago

My brother lives with his gf (they’ve been dating 4 years) and in unemployed.

I’ve dated unemployed guys, but I don’t date perpetually unemployed guys. I get I was laid off and unemployed for 3 months its rough, but if you aren’t interested in working at all then I’m not interested in dating you.

Ranter (@socialrants)
11 years ago

I’m still blown away by the “socializing costs money” tripe. Maybe its because most of my friends are as broke as me, but we get by on bus passes, free concerts, and knowing which restaurants serve huge portions. If we were expected to shell out lots of money every time we went out we’d never leave the house. Big city = so much fun free stuff to do!

But then, small towns too. I grew up in a small town and we never spent money to hang out. There’s the park, the rec center, someone’s house, and when all else fails head down to the grocery store after it closes. Most of the highschool kids would hang out in the parking lot talking, drinking, smoking, whatever. Meeting people and making friends doesn’t have to cost money.

pillow in hell
pillow in hell
11 years ago

Hmm, I suppose you could say that socializing costs money, provided that you point out the social and economic class of people who you want to be friends with. If you’re part of a group that insists on going to the movies or bars/restaurants/whatever and don’t get together anywhere else then yes its going to cost money to continue seeing those people. And if that was your crowd it can be isolating when you get pushed to the fringes.

There are plenty of guys who are poor and find great places to meet people and date and hang with friends. They aren’t isolated because they maintain a friendship with their wealthier friends that stuck around AND they didn’t turn their noses up at hanging out at the local Timmies, or hanging out at a library, or packing a luch and heading to the park, or inviting friends to their place for a potluck, or stopping on the street to talk to people they knew, or going to local concerts that are free to the public, or dropping in at a local art gallery, or getting together to pick up a few groceries at a new deli, or hanging out at the local barbershop, or taking a hike through a local conservation area, or hopping on bikes with a fishing pole, or or or. There are plenty of things to do that cost little. The trick here is to have broad interests and remember that what you’re doing is more about shooting the shit with people you like and making new friends.

Most popular things that the poor guys do around here in the summer? Take their kids around. I see a lot of guys with lower incomes actually looking after and spending time with their kids. And then the guys get together and there’s a huge tribe of cute little kids on the loose and the dads talk, and watch the kids and play all kinds of games with them.

Some Gal Not Bored at All

On relatively inexpensive entertainment, there are also board games. Some of them can be a bit pricey up-front, but you get a lot of bang for your buck. The boyfriend and I also consider them about the best gift to someone you barely know because you can play it with them when you give it, have fun, get to know them better, and they are in our price range.

FWIW, Zero is one of my favorites for trivia games. It is a lot harder to guess least popular answers than most popular, but far more fun.

Unimaginative
11 years ago

I just realized…I don’t know any rich dudes.

I know some rich guys.

Some of them made it clear, within moments of meeting them, that they’re rich, so that I could be appropriately deferential (not my forte, tbh). Some I found out were rich only by accident. The first type are pretty much universally obnoxious assholes. The second type were usually pretty fun to hang out with.

So, you now, it all comes down to people being people, and it being kind of pointless to paint everyone in a certain subgroup with the same brush. I know some poor people who are assholes, too (including, occasionally, me). It all evens out.

Unimaginative
11 years ago

Effing blockquotes. Also not my forte.

melody
11 years ago

I don’t know if this will work:
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6WVL4TLIkDY&w=560&h=315%5D

Have you guys seen this?