So @catches_stars on Twitter is pretty hilarious. She’s also got an OkCupid account, and regularly posts snippets of her conversations with some of the more problematic dudes who contact her, some on her main Twitter account and some on @okcupid_TXT. With her permission, and because I’m too lazy to actually write a post today, I’m passing along a few of my favorites.
This overeager fellow has a rather sudden change of heart when his stated plan runs into an obstacle, that obstacle being that @catches_stars finds him completely repulsive.
This guy is either totally high or trying some weird and misguided PUA wizardry on her. (It does not succeed.)
This foot-obsessed fellow spammed her with the same message from several different accounts.
This guy, who seems to be shirtless in his profile pic, gets what I assume is, to him, a very disappointing answer.
As does this fellow.
Romance is hard.
@Kitteh
Where’s the proof!? Please, show the proof! I’ve read many commercially published works on the subject. Yet no-one has ever cited the physical, hardback books found in stores like Waterstones or Barnes and Noble when making the claim that it’s about rape.
If you know so much about the game and PUA then you’d know the difference between the two terms. Which you have demonstrated you do not by what you have just written.
PUA – Pick Up Artist / Pick Up Artistry
Refers to the people and practices involving “picking up women”. Obviously this isn’t an academic text, it’s not theory, it’s practical.
Game – the theory, which I explained
Now please show me an authoritative, published source that proves what I said to be untrue.
So a man can never say they know more about a subject they’ve studied intimately than a woman or it’s personal? Please re-check this, that’s a huge logical fallacy.
You are correct however, that I can never say I know more about your personal experiences than you do. But you don’t “experience” a theory. Game is a theory, PUA is practice. I spoke of the former.
So I take it you can make the claim with valid justification that the game as a theory has not affected men as well as women then?
Also, even if that is justifiable, why should it be personal?
Now I’ve just had to “mansplain” something someone clearly did not know, this confirms why it’s good for people to explain in-case people do not know something.
Kitteh, Heathcliff is usually one of those boring comic strips that’s been running way too long and doesn’t have anything funny to say anymore. But it’s funny when the comic makes no sense at all!
1. Because women are hounded out of places such as bars and clubs by creepy PUAs and their creepiness. And I’ve explained why your “theory” thing is bullshit too.
2. Most of the people who have responded to you ARE WOMEN. Most of those women have been on the receiving end of a variety of creepy fuckers. Of course it’s bloody personal.
@cloudiah
Driving is itself practical, while the highway code is a set of rules governing how people should drive.
PUAs doing awful things are doing awful things. People reading up on and interpreting the game are not doing anything other than reading up on and interpreting the game.
Why people have gotten so personal over a simple, balanced explanation of a *theory* is beyond me….
@Martyn you seem to have confused “published in hardback” with “authoritative source”.
And you have been told where you can find numerous examples of PUAs advocating rape (and in at least one case, confessing to it). That you chose not to follow up is your own problem.
Martyn: keep digging that hole.
CWS – exactly. PUAs don’t even like women. None of the crap they say is “playful banter,” it’s just abusing strangers, and it’s all this shite about having to be dominant. It’s about forcing a woman to comply, because they don’t see us as humans, just as things to be programmed, some sort of challenge for their precious egos. Was it in a recent thread or an old one I read lately, where the discussion pointed out how strongly homosocial and competitive the whole business is?
The joke is that one can have all that banter and touching and hell, tossing each other around, in a trusting relationship. Doesn’t even have to be love, just one where trust has been earned. If the dominance is there, it’s consensual and pleasurable for all the parties involved. And physical play doesn’t have to be all sexytimes! It doesn’t have to be about him showing what a manly dominant man he is! It can simply be fun!
But then, fun isn’t really on the radar for PUAs, MRAs, etc, etc.
Scenario #2: Martyn steps on a woman’s foot in an elevator.
Woman: “Ouch — get off my foot!”
Martyn: “Where’s the proof I stepped on your foot?”
Woman: “Proof?”
Martyn: “We’re in the mall. Let’s go to the Barnes & Noble and you can show me the physical, hardback books proving I stepped on your foot.”
Woman: “You’re still on my foot! Why should I have to prove it with books? Just get off!”
Martyn: “You’re talking about practice, but I’m talking about theory. Do you have any authoritative sources about the theory of me stepping on my foot? I’ve been reading up on that for a long time, and I think I know what I am talking about here.”
Woman: “What the fuck are you on about? Get off my fucking foot?”
Martyn: “Why are you making this so personal?”
Woman: “I’m calling security.”
Martyn: “You can’t experience a ‘theory’. Why are you forcing me to ‘mansplain’ this to you?”
Not the fucking “balanced” shit again.
Do you think white supremacists offer a “balanced” view? There are matters where there IS no argument to be made for the other side. This is one of them.
You are talking as if a theory for how to commit rape and get away with it should be given fair consideration.
Go away, rape apologist kid.
Disingenuous troll is disingenuous.
“Gee, I don’t know why these silly women get their tiny ladybrains all het up about a theory,” he said, totally ignoring the fact that the theory under discussion is used by assholes to perpetrate asshole behavior.
^theory of me stepping on your foot^
cloudiah, how many internets are you trying to win today? We’ll have to restock at this rate.
Here’s an achievement: Martyn is the second troll whose comments are so inane that when I try to read them my brain says “No. Too painful. Skip it.” The first was B____n, and that took at least a month. Either I’m getting crotchetier or Martyn, your commenting style is preternaturally obnoxious. Or both.
@Creative Writing Student
If you have citations, I’ll be happy to see them. Otherwise, I’ll go by what is defined at the published source.
Although no-one can really prove either way, has anyone thought creepy fuckers would be creepy with or without the game? Game isn’t the be all and end all of PUA, it’s a PUA theory. PUAs which don’t follow the Game standard exist all over the place. Ross Jeffries stands as an example. But hey, I’m just “mansplaining” this right?
Martyn, here are some examples of times, in this thread alone, when you’ve done one or more of the following extremely obnoxious behaviors:
-Framed yourself as the authority on a subject
-Acted like you’re here to teach everyone else
-Assumed that you are always right and everyone who disagrees is automatically wrong
-Blamed people for misinterpreting you
-Assumed that, if someone doesn’t agree with you, it’s because they don’t know what they’re talking about, and if they understood, they’d of course agree
-Doubled down on something people have disagreed with
-Etc, etc.
OH MY GOD JUST SHUT UP.
The fact that you don’t understand why people are upset, even after having it explained to you, is part of why they’re so upset.
Kittehs’, I actually think his response to my first scenario was (unwittingly) funnier than the scenario itself.
Fuck, of course I messed up the blockquotes. But only a little bit.
Martyn is going to have a very rough existence if he’s like this all the time.
@emilygoddess: How many times have I said PUA != Game? Game is not about rape.
@hellkell:
Gee, I wonder why Game is a term referring to a theory while the practice (PUA) is what you’re really criticising. Game in theory partially explains successes in social interaction by people who aren’t PUAs too, the practice I’m referring to is called flirting. But hey, more mansplaining right?
I’ve not ignored the fact that a theory can be abused, but it can also explain good behaviours too.
But failure to separate theory from practice has resulted in personal attacks! A good way to debate a theory, amirite?
Honestly, I have no idea how to explain things to someone who doesn’t understand the concept “If you are doing something and it has a result you don’t like, stop doing it.”
Martyn, if you are talking about something and people get mad at you and you don’t want people to be mad at you, then stop talking about it. You know, like if you eat something and it gives you a stomach ache, you stop eating it.
@hellkell
Good. Buttocks up there is making me wish I could throw the contents of my wastepaper basket at him via internet. It’s mostly empty packets of ham.
Go fuck yourself kid. Go eat shit, build up that supply. You’re telling women there is some magical theory and that’s just fine hunky dory, like this theory matters when it’s about COMMITTING RAPE. You’re splitting hairs and trying to claim game and PUA aren’t the same. You’re ignoring all the pointers given to sites YOU CAN REACH FROM HERE to show you exactly what PUAs and their game are about. You’re either incredibly stupid or a liar or both.
You’re demonstrating that you don’t actually give a damn about what happens to women; you dismiss our experiences and words and just want your ego stroked, because you are a Man who’s Read Stuff in Books!!!1!!elebenty!
It’s like he can’t fucking see people.
Hey, don’t call him that … buttocks can be cute! 😛