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antifeminism creep-shaming creepy homophobia incoherent rage men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny okcupid penises PUA the c-word

How not to impress the ladies on OkCupid

cupids2

So @catches_stars on Twitter is pretty hilarious. She’s also got an OkCupid account, and regularly posts snippets of her conversations with some of the more problematic dudes who contact her, some on her main Twitter account and some on @okcupid_TXT. With her permission, and because I’m too lazy to actually write a post today, I’m passing along a few of my favorites.

This overeager fellow has a rather sudden change of heart when his stated plan runs into an obstacle, that obstacle being that @catches_stars finds him completely repulsive.

okeager

This guy is either totally high or trying some weird and misguided PUA wizardry on her. (It does not succeed.)

oksecret

This foot-obsessed fellow spammed her with the same message from several different accounts.

oktoes

This guy, who seems to be shirtless in his profile pic, gets what I assume is, to him, a very disappointing answer.

okbody

As does this fellow.

okchicks

Romance is hard.

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princessbonbon
11 years ago

I would probably just correct the spelling and other errors in the gentleman’s rant and then laugh at his sputtering at my gall to tell him he is wrong.

Martyn Hare
11 years ago

@clairedammit && @HellKell:

I was being deliberately facetious (I couldn’t help myself as an IT student, I’m deeply, deeply sorry but really couldn’t control myself). What you’re saying is correct; it’s not right to judge someone on their phone and it’s also not right to make insults based on gender or sex.

I could give a very long-winded technical discussion on the technical reasons as to why iOS is inferior to Android but I think it’s enough to say I was making a bad nerd joke 🙂

@Kitteh:

Martyn’s the sort of self-satisfied little twit who gets geeks a bad name.

You didn’t tell I was being deliberately facetious? Shame on you!

It’s pretty telling when people get all emotional over product choices and I TBH don’t really care what people choose to buy or even whether they’re informed about their purchasing decisions or not, not really any of my business.

BigMomma
BigMomma
11 years ago

It’s just a tactic to feel superior.And they have TRUFAX about it. I find my polite disinterest sadly is often mistaken as tacit approval. While my eyes burn with effort of staying open, in my head, I am often planning dinner during one of these verbal dissertation monologues.

leftwingfox
11 years ago

Ashley: Yeah, you win. 😀

Martyn Hare
11 years ago

@Baroncognito:

What’s it called? Also, have you ever heard of beautifulpeople.com?

I’m tempted to run a free service to GIMP/Photoshop peoples photos who have had their applications rejected, to get them on to the site, to teach shallow-minded people a lesson >_>

cloudiah
11 years ago

“Hey, cutie. Wanna see my kitten?” *reaches into coat pocket, withdraws a tabby kitten*

This actually happened to me and a friend on the street in Oakland. Although the actual phrase was “Hi. Do you want to see something cute?” [reaches under his overcoat while we frantically look for escape routes, then pulls out an adorable kitten]

BigMomma
BigMomma
11 years ago

There’s a problem, Martyn in that you are not well known enough around here for people to recognise if you are facetious. After your misguided comments on lesbian sexuality and the age of consent, you will have to choose your words with the utmost clarity.

I recommend the /sarcasm tag in future.

cloudiah
11 years ago

to teach shallow-minded people a lesson >_>

Oh fuck off. Seriously. What “lesson” are you hoping to teach them? That if they have people they are and are not attracted to they are “shallow” and deserve to have their preferences ignored? That they have a duty to date people they’re not attracted to, because those people are really nice guys?

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
11 years ago

Martyn – you’re a newcomer here. You came in defending these “reasonable” MRAs you claim to know, in the face of all the evidence that the MRM is nothing but a hate movement. You persistently push the line that the MRM and feminism are somehow equivalent. You’ve tried to claim erasure = privilege. Now you’re talking about how wonderful PUA is and delivering a eulogy which totally overlooks its complete hostility to women. And you think anyone’s going to read your blather about iphones and god knows what with a favourable eye, and take it as a joke? You think everyone here is going to say “Oh, geek humour”?

Stop and think about the impression you’re making on strangers. So far, it hasn’t been good.

John
John
11 years ago

It would be nice if a girl would send a message to me ever.

Martyn Hare
11 years ago

@cloudiah

The premise of the site is exclusionary. Members get to vote to include and exclude people from joining the site based on looks alone; it’s not about a duty to date anyone, if someone sees someone they think is ugly, they can just choose not to message them. Check it out, if it’s the same as when I last checked it out, you’ll realise what I mean =]

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
11 years ago

Oh, and I can do my own photoshopping, thank you very much. And with a much simpler program than GIMP, too.

Picard says it well.

Baroncognito
11 years ago

Oh, and after signing up for Beautiful people, should I sign up to Christian Mingle too, teach those close minded Christians that maybe they can find love outside of their faith? (says the man who has an account at JDate)

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
11 years ago

LOL!

Martyn Hare
11 years ago

@Kitteh:

you’re talking about how wonderful PUA is and delivering a eulogy which totally overlooks its complete hostility to women

I just explained the theory in as shorter form as I could, nothing more. I did not comment on PUAs themselves or the PUA lifestyle. Why is my explanation of the theory of it considered a eulogy at all, when did I praise it?

I never cast a judgement on it, I just gave an explanation since no-one had already done so and I’d already done all the pre-requisite reading from many common source materials. Also, “good game” was put in quotes for a reason, to hint at the bias in that I don’t think it’s so good.

@Baroncognito:

Oh, and after signing up for Beautiful people, should I sign up to Christian Mingle too, teach those close minded Christians that maybe they can find love outside of their faith?

So do Christians on Christian dating sites community reject/approve people based on freehand qualitative questioning surrounding the Bible? Somehow, I don’t think so.

Creative Writing Student
Creative Writing Student
11 years ago

@Cloudiah

http://notalwaysright.com/factual-innuendos/2558

I’m rather amazed that there’s more than one member of the general public who does this…

cloudiah
11 years ago

@CWS, Amazingly, he wasn’t even trying to pick us up.

Martyn, “Members get to vote to include and exclude people from joining the site based on looks alone” — and why shouldn’t they? And why is it okay for you to trick them into including people they don’t want to? What makes you the judge of which preferences are okay and which aren’t. Just fucking respect peoples’ wishes, even when you don’t agree with them.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
11 years ago

I just explained the theory in as shorter form as I could, nothing more. I did not comment on PUAs themselves or the PUA lifestyle. Why is my explanation of the theory of it considered a eulogy at all, when did I praise it?

Bullshit.

“good game” is based on push/pull theory and the idea of playing a game in the form of a light-hearted power struggle where, by the end of the date, both people feel like equals but your partner felt a nice interesting emotional journey along the way in order to create the feeling of having done so much together within a shorter period of time. To accomplish this, rather than dishing out compliments willy-nilly (which will friendzone you fast), you instead do the challenging and teasing yourself to better stimulate your potential partner with a wide range of emotional reactions.

You don’t grasp the idea of implications, do you? Your wording implicitly praises the idea, and the description is, as hellkell said, delusional. Have you actually read Roissy or Roosh V or any of those self-proclaimed PUA gurus? If they’re telling the truth about their exploits they’re rapists. Their hatred of women comes out in everything they write.

I don’t give a flying fuck what you think the theory of Game is. It’s what men do to women in the real world that matters here, and Game is about coercing reluctant women into sex – and making them feel bad about it. You know Roosh (I think it was him and not Roissy) wrote once about how he doesn’t mind being unable to orgasm, because it gives him another chance to try laying a guilt trip on his unfortunate partner?

Stop trying to paint the MRM and PUA as benign. They’re not, and you’ve chosen the wrong site to push that line.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
11 years ago

CWS – that link is like the Live Parrot Sketch. Can’t you just imagine Cleese with the parrot in his coat?

Baroncognito
11 years ago

So do Christians on Christian dating sites community reject/approve people based on freehand qualitative questioning surrounding the Bible? Somehow, I don’t think so.

I wouldn’t know. I have never attempted to sign up for one. I also don’t know what it takes to get onto beautiful people because I’ve never felt tempted to check it out.

Some Gal Not Bored at All

@Martyn

We are already familiar with many “theories” of Game. No one was asking for help, we have heard it all before. What howardbann1ster wanted was for known trolls to come and play. It was pretty inevitable that anyone answering the “question” seriously (let alone by unquestioningly reiterating a spin put on Game by adherents) would get pushback.

I think that you should try to do a bit more listening and asking questions and a little less attempting to joke around with people who barely know you.

SaltPickles
SaltPickles
11 years ago

I think my cat has been negging me 🙁

Some Gal Not Bored at All

@SaltPickles

Probably.

cloudiah
11 years ago

@SaltPickles, I’ve started negging my cats. It doesn’t seem to have any effect on them whatsoever — especially “Nice claws. Are they press-ons?”