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How not to impress the ladies on OkCupid

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So @catches_stars on Twitter is pretty hilarious. She’s also got an OkCupid account, and regularly posts snippets of her conversations with some of the more problematic dudes who contact her, some on her main Twitter account and some on @okcupid_TXT. With her permission, and because I’m too lazy to actually write a post today, I’m passing along a few of my favorites.

This overeager fellow has a rather sudden change of heart when his stated plan runs into an obstacle, that obstacle being that @catches_stars finds him completely repulsive.

okeager

This guy is either totally high or trying some weird and misguided PUA wizardry on her. (It does not succeed.)

oksecret

This foot-obsessed fellow spammed her with the same message from several different accounts.

oktoes

This guy, who seems to be shirtless in his profile pic, gets what I assume is, to him, a very disappointing answer.

okbody

As does this fellow.

okchicks

Romance is hard.

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pseudo_star_17
pseudo_star_17
11 years ago

@Sir Bodsworth

Evil practices can be made to look good on paper, therefore we must continue trying to make them look good on paper? Because that’s the best I can come up with.

THANK YOU. I was trying to come up with an explanation as to why “well in PRACTICE is different from theory, THEREFORE practice has no relevance to how we judge a theory” is unkind, privileged BULLSHIT, but it all ended up as a rambling screed. Especially after the “I know women suffer real life consequences, but THINK OF THE THEORIES!1!!” Although I also like whoever made the connection between the theory of “separate but equal” sounding “good” (to people like our troll), but the main point (to anyone who’s not a morally bankrupt piece of shit) is that it was used to justify racism. (I think it was Kitteh’s who made that analogy?)

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

I’m so tempted to start snarking on the similarities between the stupid troll idea that nobody should be allowed to tell someone that the conversation they want to have is not welcome at the present time/in this particular social space/with the specific person they’re talking to/if they’re the one doing the (clueless) talking and the PUA idea that women shouldn’t be allowed to just say no to sex without any man who happens to be interested being allowed to at least try to manipulate and/or bully her into it.

I see this pattern all the time and I always wonder why the guys who do it don’t realize that their behavior in non-sexual situations offers clues as to what their behavior in sexual situations might be like.

Some Gal Not Bored at All

@CassandraSays

I think it is fitting that Martyn illustrated brilliantly “how not to impress the ladies” on this thread. (He didn’t seem to impress anyone else either.)

Your PUA point bridges the OP and Martyn really well too.

thebewilderness
thebewilderness
11 years ago

Let us all gather around and have a theoretical discussion on the matter of who we will breed and who we will put down. I’m kinda gobsmacked.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/02/27/collin-brewer-disabled-children-put-down_n_2775019.html

lowquacks
lowquacks
11 years ago

I didn’t read all the thread but there seems to be less Stadler & Waldorf love here than I’d have expected from the Men Boobzer?

In other news, I think an old school friend of mine has hooked up with a genuine, NLP-spouting, eyeliner-wearing*, creepy-facebook-post-making, fitness-obsessed, middle-aged-but-dating-teenagers PUA and he’s just about the ickiest thing ever.

lowquacks
lowquacks
11 years ago

*there’s nothing wrong with wearing eyeliner regardless of your gender, it just stands out as an obvious Mystery homage with the baldheaded-and-suited look this dude prefers.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

Hey, I like guyliner! Not on PUAs who prey on younger women, though.

lowquacks
lowquacks
11 years ago

@CassandraSays

I forgot to tack on the asterisked bit I’d prepared for.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

Does he have a funny hat and goggles too?

lowquacks
lowquacks
11 years ago

Not that I know of. I’ve only met him once and seen him making very posts on facebook/twitter.

They seem pretty happy together, though, so that’s good? And he seems more on the “vaguely misogynistic pseudoscience” end of things than the “rapey bitterness with some new-right racism” end of things. Still skeeves me out, though.

lowquacks
lowquacks
11 years ago

@neuroticbeagle

Perfect!

lowquacks
lowquacks
11 years ago

And in a complete coincidence (no, really) I’ve just discovered that Bret McKenzie of Flight of The Conchords fame has written a song for a muppet film:

melody
11 years ago

Looks like there was a show down on manboobz.

Eugenics is a disgusting idea. I have nothing new to say, but just wanted to affirm that I agreed with you guys on that.

Oh, in high school I also had the smartest kid in the room thing going on. College shook that out of me though. I did well in college, but no longer top of my class good.

neuroticbeagle
11 years ago

“Looks like there was a show down on manboobz.”

There was. It was great.

Coming in first was…
the manboobzers! (Or is it manboobzians? Please let me know. I do not wish to offend.)

Coming in second by an unusual turn of events was…
Muppets!!

Third place was..
Cute baby animals! (Normally second place, they did not make much of an appearance on this thread and so beaten by the Muppet challengers.)

Not even placing was Martyn, representing obnoxious mansplaning trolls.

WeeBoy
WeeBoy
11 years ago

Martyn, I have no idea if you’re still reading, but I hope you are, because I am going to offer you a COMPLETE AND EXACT EQUIVALENT of the shit you’ve been spreading.

So, I am part of a group of queer people who go out for dinner and drinks and coffees every couple of weeks. We’re called Social Fruits. So imagine, we’re having one of our dinners, a dozen LGBTQ* people around a table. Now, we’re cool with allies coming along so really it’s open to anyone who isn’t an asshole.

And you sit down next to me, and I don’t know you, and I’m going to be nice, cos you might be new.
Me: Um, that’s a good beer you’ve got.
Martyn: Yeah, anyone who drinks mass-produced beer loses fifty alcoholic points! Hey, have you heard about pray away the gay?
Me: Uh, you know this is a queer group, right?
Martyn: Yeah, I just wanted to discuss praying away the gay. It’s really good, so that people who are gay can not be gay and not get discriminated against! And people who know gays can pray for them and not feel weird about their friends being gay!
Me: Um, no, that’s actually really damaging. It causes queer people to commit suicide by alienating them from their families.
Martyn: But I’ve read so many good things about it, it’s a great theory! we should discuss this theory.
Me: No, really, we shouldn’t. There are people at this table who have been kicked out of their families, or who have denied themselves for years because of trying to pray away the gay.
Martyn: But where’s the proof? I’ve read books about ex-gays! Show me the books about people who have been damaged by it.
Me: You don’t need a book! You can talk to people here, you know, I can’t go back to the church I was baptised in because of this theory?
Martyn: No, that’s just in practice, you shouldn’t tell me anything about what happens when this theory is used, I only wanna talk about the theory – Straight people with gay loved ones helping them not be discriminated against!
Me: But it’s not just a theory! it’s a real thing which happens and hurts people. Not only does it not work, and is completely unscientific, but it makes people like me kill themselves!
Martyn: Excuse me, I want to see this in hardcover books, give me references! I’m trying to learn here! I haven’t heard you say anything about the theory of praying away the gay. Why are you taking this so personally?

And trust me, by now three people would be about to punch you.

Martyn – you’re coming to an established group, talking about something we no more about, and demanding academic references when we have experts here who can tell you how Game affects women.

So fuck right off.

Tulgey Logger
Tulgey Logger
11 years ago

So, is anyone else privately rejoicing in the fact that a year after this happened we now have an actual Ashley whose website is loveashley.net?

@WeeBoy, very well put.

Love,

Tulgey

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
11 years ago

Dear Weeboy,

Please accept this shiny new internet with our thanks and appreciation

Yours, etc

PS Social Fruits is a great name

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
11 years ago

Drat

WeeBoy, not Weeboy

@Tulgey – yup!

WeeBoy
WeeBoy
11 years ago

Kittehs, most of us wanted to name it “Queer as Fuck”, but apparently that isn’t appropriate.

Kakanian
Kakanian
11 years ago

>Perhaps I have an unrealistic expectation in that I expect arguments to be backed up. The reaction(s) I’ve seen to a harmless explanation of the game have been ridiculously blown out of proportion.

Is this the point where we demand the patrons of a korean restaurant to explain why they support the consumption of dogs?
Or we ask people living in Washington why they want to grab our guns?

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
11 years ago

LOL I can imagine there’d be a few stumbling blocks if you wanted to make bookings in the group name!

Jeez, that reminds me of the bottle of KEUCK I saw altered to read FUCK at a bar once. Altered by the staff, I might add. Lead to much hilarity among my co-workers and me. (Well, we were pretty juvenile.) 😛

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