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antifeminism creep-shaming creepy homophobia incoherent rage men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny okcupid penises PUA the c-word

How not to impress the ladies on OkCupid

cupids2

So @catches_stars on Twitter is pretty hilarious. She’s also got an OkCupid account, and regularly posts snippets of her conversations with some of the more problematic dudes who contact her, some on her main Twitter account and some on @okcupid_TXT. With her permission, and because I’m too lazy to actually write a post today, I’m passing along a few of my favorites.

This overeager fellow has a rather sudden change of heart when his stated plan runs into an obstacle, that obstacle being that @catches_stars finds him completely repulsive.

okeager

This guy is either totally high or trying some weird and misguided PUA wizardry on her. (It does not succeed.)

oksecret

This foot-obsessed fellow spammed her with the same message from several different accounts.

oktoes

This guy, who seems to be shirtless in his profile pic, gets what I assume is, to him, a very disappointing answer.

okbody

As does this fellow.

okchicks

Romance is hard.

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cloudiah
11 years ago

“Sounds wonderful, doesn’t it?”

NO OMG IT DOESN’T SOUND WONDERFUL IT SOUNDS TOTALLY RACIST AND BOUND TO END BADLY.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

Oh yeah, I had smartest kid in the room syndrome in high school and college too, but the thing is, I never interpreted that to mean that people of a different sex/race/sexual orientation would be just fascinated to hear my perspective on their lives because what do you mean they don’t care?

Tulgey Logger
Tulgey Logger
11 years ago

I don’t believe game holds up to scrutiny, but casting game as a “misogynistic system of thought which portrays women as puzzleboxes for men to solve through manipulation and even intimidation” is harmful – it stifles discussion of ways for people to better express their desires in a more attractive way to others.

Dude, this is very much not the place you want to go to discuss how to “better express [your] desires in a more attractive way to others.” Source: scroll up and look at the header.

Not only that, BUT having already been given links by ithiliana discussing exactly why this Game shit is dangerous, your whining here is incredibly dishonest. Complaining that feminists aren’t serving your dick sufficiently when they accurately describe misogyny is pretty misogynistic, btw. This site is not here to help you get laid (Source: scroll up and look at the header) and it reflects massive entitlement to insist that it should.

Because, lets face it, if someone does not want to have sex with someone else, they’re not going to have sex with them.

Um. Unless one party does not respect the other party’s lack of consent. Which is rape. Which is one of the problems with this Game shit.

I feel for people who suffer shit because people who wont take no for an answer try to manipulate and intimidate others but that should *never* *ever* stifle legitimate discussion of any psychosocial theory or concept (and yes, I use the term loosely here).

Go fuck yourself.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

The service I was on about allows a small number of people to exclude a person from the rest of the members who have not seen the person’s pictures based entirely on looks. Imagine running a nightclub, where random people already inside the nightclub determine whether those others who have not already attended the nightclub can be allowed access purely based on a quality which is non-quantifiable and arbitrary.

6. Kid has never been to a club, or at least not the kind that has a strict door policy.

cloudiah
11 years ago

katz, Thank you for resuscitating the journal. Peer review has never been so peer-review-ish.

Everyone, Thank you for the muppet clips. [sniff, sniff, but in a good way]

Some Gal Not Bored at All

@cloudiah

Who the fuck thinks that eugenics could ever sound good except someone who is really racist and/or ableist? I think in this case we may be dealing with more of the latter, frankly. That it could “improve” us by getting rid of disease and disability, but those wascally racists ruined it for everybody.

Glad to know I am probably not a good enough version of a human.

katz
11 years ago

Probably not possible, but wouldn’t it be cool is there was a way to give select regulars, those who have shown that they are smart and not trolls, a way to downvote people. Then after say 3 downvotes that person is put in a temporary ban until David has a chance to read over it and make a decision. Obviously that power couldn’t be given to everyone, just for select ones. *wishful thinking*

I’m against up/downvotes (for this site); however much I wish I could downvote some people into oblivion, I don’t want it to become a popularity contest (even among regulars). If you don’t like something, you should have to say so and why.

Nobinayamu
Nobinayamu
11 years ago

NO OMG IT DOESN’T SOUND WONDERFUL IT SOUNDS TOTALLY RACIST AND BOUND TO END BADLY.

Thank you!

I don’t know, there’s hope for guys like Martyn. They’re still young enough to grow out of it, maybe. But I feel like so many of the IT guys I have to work with never did so… there’s that.

cloudiah
11 years ago

@Some Gal, Someone with no moral compass? That’s all I got. I hear eugenics and all I think is the totally logical result of the “theory” which is forced sterilization and “genetically superior” women being made to act like glorified brood mares. It gives me a case of the shudders.

Sir Bodsworth Rugglesby III
Sir Bodsworth Rugglesby III
11 years ago

Um… what? You ‘proved’ your point about looking at Game in a neutral, theoretical by going to eugenics?

I really don’t know what you’re trying to say here. Evil practices can be made to look good on paper, therefore we must continue trying to make them look good on paper? Because that’s the best I can come up with.

Viscaria
Viscaria
11 years ago

I squirm to think of the harmful crap I believed and acted on when I was younger. I also get uncomfortable thinking about the many unexamined harmful attitudes I must still hold. But, you know, what Deoridhe said (better than I ever could).

What makes me so angry about Martyn is it doesn’t seem like he squirms at all. He learns why what he’s been doing is damaging, and then, as far as I can tell from what he’s said, shrugs and says “Neat! I learned something! This has been a good day! No harm, no foul, right?” Uh, no. Lots of harm. Lots of foul. The pain you cause matters regardless of whether it is a learning experience for you.

Some Gal Not Bored at All

@cloudiah

Not to mention the other loss of reproductive freedom the “glorified brood mares” would have if they happened to conceive a less than genetically “perfect” specimen.

clairedammit
clairedammit
11 years ago

Has Martyn melted down yet? I’m tired of him – he needs to be a puddle.

Martyn, this is for you.

cloudiah
11 years ago

After this eugenics interlude I’m just glad I am bookended by two cuddly cats. Better than muppets even.

Some Gal Not Bored at All

Here is a cat able to parachute away from Martyn’s bullshit:
http://ilovecharts.tumblr.com/post/44233749148/via-amyvernon

Trae Dorn
11 years ago

Martyn – You really don’t understand social dynamics, do you.

You have shown up at an established community, which means to join you have to adapt to them – not the other way around. If you want to challenge the community, the onus is on YOU, not THEM.

Think of it this way – a group of people are sitting down together sharing a meal. You ask to join them, but the. Immediately tell them they’re wrong about everything and that they have to defend themselves rather than continue having a good time.

Then you got surprised when they started throwing food at you.

cloudiah
11 years ago

Some Gal, That is the best illustration I’ve seen all day. And I work with pictures!

clairedammit
clairedammit
11 years ago

I love I love charts. Thanks for the introduction, Some Gal!

katz
11 years ago

Deoridhe, Viscaria: I was the same way when I was his age. Wasn’t even that long ago. There are so many things I wish I could go back and un-say.

But I can’t imagine I was as dense as that. Surely not, I hope.

Kim
Kim
11 years ago

not with the intent of being offensive, upsetting or forming any attempt at invalidating the personal opinions of others.

Intent! It’s fucking magic!

katz
11 years ago

Maybe next he can come back and lecture us on nudity.

Deoridhe
Deoridhe
11 years ago

I really hope for more lectures on psychology, because I so have home court advantage.

Kim
Kim
11 years ago

I feel for people who suffer shit because people who wont take no for an answer try to manipulate and intimidate others but that should *never* *ever* stifle legitimate discussion of any psychosocial theory or concept (and yes, I use the term loosely here).

Yes. Yes it should. This is the bit where you fail the hardest. You can discuss anything you want, but there are times and places where it is just inappropriate, and if you think your right to discuss what you want trumps other people’s right to feel comfortable in their own spaces then that shows just what kind and how much of an arsehole you are.

Some Gal Not Bored at All

@Kim

I love that piece more and more each time I read it!
I forgot that part of Martyn’s sucky “how could I know?” “apology.” Ugh.

Shiraz
Shiraz
11 years ago

Yep. Man boobz regulars kick ass. A force to be reckoned with.

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