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How not to impress the ladies on OkCupid

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So @catches_stars on Twitter is pretty hilarious. She’s also got an OkCupid account, and regularly posts snippets of her conversations with some of the more problematic dudes who contact her, some on her main Twitter account and some on @okcupid_TXT. With her permission, and because I’m too lazy to actually write a post today, I’m passing along a few of my favorites.

This overeager fellow has a rather sudden change of heart when his stated plan runs into an obstacle, that obstacle being that @catches_stars finds him completely repulsive.

okeager

This guy is either totally high or trying some weird and misguided PUA wizardry on her. (It does not succeed.)

oksecret

This foot-obsessed fellow spammed her with the same message from several different accounts.

oktoes

This guy, who seems to be shirtless in his profile pic, gets what I assume is, to him, a very disappointing answer.

okbody

As does this fellow.

okchicks

Romance is hard.

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Tulgey Logger
Tulgey Logger
11 years ago

“queer fembot count”

I know what he meant (I think), but it’s fun to pretend he wasn’t trying to use a slur but instead was calling her a member of the nobility.

Counts: can’t stand authority.

Ashley
11 years ago

I was on that site for all of 2 days before I could no longer stomach the try hards who thought that they were pua.

leftwingfox
11 years ago

I know what he meant (I think), but it’s fun to pretend he wasn’t trying to use a slur but instead was calling her a member of the nobility.

howardbann1ster
11 years ago

I saw the link pop up in the Twitter widget, and went to see it.

It’s basically PUAs of OKC. And it’s horrible and awful.

And for some reason I can’t stop laughing today.

Oh, where’s Dragon Slayer and Inconvenient Truth to tell us how game works?

Oh, god, I’m going to hell….

howardbann1ster
11 years ago

To be clear, not because it’s bad to laugh at PUAs. There is no higher calling in life.

But I do feel conflicted because on the other hand somebody had to get that message before they could repost it.

I feel like maybe PUAs would be funnier if we could lock them all up in a little bubble world of their own. Where they couldn’t inflict negs on anybody except each other.

Ashley
11 years ago

“Why yes, I am a count. That’s 1, 2, 3 fucks I don’t give!!!!”

Shadow
Shadow
11 years ago

“Why yes, I am a count. That’s 1, 2, 3 fucks I don’t give!!!!”

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
11 years ago

“Why yes, I am a count. That’s 1, 2, 3 fucks I don’t give!!!!”

::dies::

Martyn Hare
11 years ago

@clairedammit: I happen to agree that iPhones suck. As an IT degree student, people with iPhones lose 50 nerd points immediately! Those who use an iPhone yet insist on a Windows-based PC to run their it00nz on lose another 50! iDevices are for people who are too lazy to run a decent UNIX-style OS like GNU/Linux. Thankfully, there’s Android, which is Linux-based, to fill that niche of lazy people who want decent quality software at a decent price 😉

@howardbann1ster:

You’re going to hell 😉 While you’re there, may I do the honours back here instead? I happen to have Mystery Method, The Game, Rules of The Game and a few NLP-like books like How to Make Friends and Influence People.

“good game” is based on push/pull theory and the idea of playing a game in the form of a light-hearted power struggle where, by the end of the date, both people feel like equals but your partner felt a nice interesting emotional journey along the way in order to create the feeling of having done so much together within a shorter period of time. To accomplish this, rather than dishing out compliments willy-nilly (which will friendzone you fast), you instead do the challenging and teasing yourself to better stimulate your potential partner with a wide range of emotional reactions.

I’m sure some self-proclaimed “gurus” will correct me on this, since I’ve tried to summarise such a wide topic to one core principle >_>

Ghost Betty
Ghost Betty
11 years ago

>>“Why yes, I am a count. That’s 1, 2, 3 fucks I don’t give!!!!”<<

I've been lurking for a few months now but had to pop my head up to congratulate Ashley for winning the internet.

Martyn Hare
11 years ago

@Ashley

I was on that site for all of 2 days before I could no longer stomach the try hards who thought that they were pua.

I had such a hard time finding women that didn’t keep their real-time chat switched off on there because of the constant harassment they encountered. IMHO it’s a better place for decent people to find friends, rather than dates. I gave up after 3-4 months, as it just plain sucked. Stupid dickheads ruin the experience for all the decent people 🙁

clairedammit
clairedammit
11 years ago

Dude, you’re missing the point. I’m an Android phone person myself, but I wouldn’t accuse someone of having a missing chromosome, which is really ableist and shitty, or too many of them (I guess he means all women by that?) because they carried an iPhone. Especially not on a dating site, to someone with those aforementioned extra chromosomes.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
11 years ago

Why does some PUA think he has the right to impose his insults on a woman to push her through an “emotional journey”? He’s trying to pick her up for sex. PUA is about demeaning women and undermining their confidence; it’s not about mutual pleasure but sees sex as some sort of contest where the woman loses if she says yes (and probably, given the egos of slime like Roissy, loses if she says no).

If that’s the only way a man can feel like he’s “done so much together in a short time” with a woman, maybe he shouldn’t be dating at all.

You know if some man tried that on me the best he’d get would be a LOUD proclamation that “Hey, you’re trying game, aren’t you? D’you realise you’ve just outed yourself as a misogynistic loser? Do you? Piss off, sonny, you’re wasting oxygen other people could use better.”

I can neg as well as any PUA. Difference is, I don’t see it as a path to sex.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
11 years ago

Oh yes, and on phones and pcs: some of us neither know all the technicalities nor give a fuck about what you think is right and wrong about the various systems. I’m reaching the “get a life” stage with you, kid. Having your interests/obsessions is fine, but get over this juvenile “everyone must like the same stuff as me or they’re stupid” crap.

hellkell
hellkell
11 years ago

“Fembot count.” HAHAHAHA. I love it when they go from zero to RAGEBALL in 60 seconds. Stay classy, guys.

Protip: this is why women don’t respond to a lot of messages. For every guy who’s cool with a “no thank you,” there are ten more who aren’t and get shitty about things.

hellkell
hellkell
11 years ago

Martin: my iPhone and I would like to tell your immature self to fuck right off, OK?

You’re dumb enough to fall for game, so what you think about anything is completely beside the point.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
11 years ago

I’m starting to think Martyn added six-seven years when he said he was 22.

hellkell
hellkell
11 years ago

“good game” is based on push/pull theory and the idea of playing a game in the form of a light-hearted power struggle where, by the end of the date, both people feel like equals but your partner felt a nice interesting emotional journey along the way in order to create the feeling of having done so much together within a shorter period of time. To accomplish this, rather than dishing out compliments willy-nilly (which will friendzone you fast), you instead do the challenging and teasing yourself to better stimulate your potential partner with a wide range of emotional reactions.

This is probably the most deluded description of game ever written. The only thing it’s lacking is kittens and rainbows. FFS.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
11 years ago

Game with Kittens would work much better.

BigMomma
BigMomma
11 years ago

also, some random fucking dude lecturing people on their fucking phone choices? It’s a very long winded neg and not much of an emotional journey.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
11 years ago
Baroncognito
11 years ago

I suspect that this is why there’s a dating site where men aren’t allowed to send messages unless they’ve been contacted first.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
11 years ago

Martyn’s the sort of self-satisfied little twit who gets geeks a bad name.

It’s boys’ toys stuff, kid. Nobody gives a shit what devices meet the Martyn Approval Criteria and what other people use (or, gasp! don’t use and have never heard of) is none of your business.

Creative Writing Student
Creative Writing Student
11 years ago

“Hey, cutie. Wanna see my kitten?” *reaches into coat pocket, withdraws a tabby kitten*

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