In not-quite spring, a young MRA’s fancy lightly turns to thoughts of love, and how women are all a bunch of moneygrubbing whores that get uglier and uglier as they get older.
Over on the Men’s Rights subreddit, discussions of marriage are busting out all over, like the buds of new spring flowers or the skidmarks in an MRA’s underpants. The fellows are not too keen on this whole marriage thing, which is an obvious female trick to rob men of their money and sperm and tie them to rapidly depreciating assets (women) who are only going to get uglier as time goes by.
In one thread, a fellow named wrez shares these thoughts, to much acclaim (or at least a few dozen upvotes):
In another, a fellow named rathum2323 suggests that any women interested in marriage is clearly up to something nefarious.
All that said, I am pleased that Reddit MRAs are managing to convince their friends not to marry. Because if you’re someone who turns to MRAs for marriage advice, it’s probably best for all concerned that you never marry anyone or anything.
That sounds fun! 🙂
I know a lot of people who have no intention of getting married, and yet they manage to keep from shitting on everybody else’s marriage/dreams of marriage.
Kitteh’s: it was a blast, especially after some inlaws got ripped and started doing haka on the lawn.
You want to prove that you’re not a troll and here, engaging in good faith discussion and debate?
Now, add to me at the end of that sentence.
You’re welcome.
Did you have lumpia? Tell me you had lumpia?
So why do folks get married outside of religion, taxes, peer pressure etc? I’m not “shitting on anyone’s dreams” here, I’m just genuinely curious.
Weird. They don’t know that men invented marriage, not women. Should we tell them?
And gosh, there’s nothing wrong with something beautiful that puts out — except if you’re a chick who is into alphas and enjoys riding the cock merry-go-round, right boys?
Does anyone get the feeling that their idea of an ideal marriage is keeping a wife in the same manner as someone keeps a hamster or goldfish? Cheap feed, water on the side, you can play with it when you want, then just ignore it the rest of the time. But somehow, without the aid of money or other extras, the wife remains immortal and model pretty.
@Joanna, I mean, I wasn’t trying to say you/Martyn can’t ask questions? And I’m not married and I don’t know if I ever want to be married or if I ever will be married regardless of what I want so I’m not an authority or anything. It just seems like someone telling people that their marriage is meaningless is different than asking people what their marriage means to them. Most of the married people I know invest a lot into their commitments to one another.
I didn’t mean to come off as combative towards people who have genuine questions. I’m sorry.
I love when MRAs think the Trojan War was over Helen, I mean sure the theft of Helen was the instigating factor, but it was the breach of the rules of hospitality that was the motivator to actually make war. Sure Helen was pretty, but she was by no means the actual *reason* for the war.
Nobinayamu: we had lumpia, poncit, and a whole roast pig.
Love and culture are two reasons I can think of off the top of my head. I suppose you could say that culture is basically peer pressure but that would be both an over simplification and unfair. Do you know any gay/lesbian couples who have married despite the fact that the state they live in does not recognize their union and their church will not perform the ceremony?
The feeling of commitment? The desire to state that commitment to the world? To ensure legal rights denied to de facto partners? (Think of how necessary same-sex marriage rights are on that front alone.)
For myself, it was something that happened. Crept up, you might say. Mr K had felt “we’re married” months before I did but didn’t say anything about it. I got a huge bear-hug the first time I called him “my husband”, lol. t feels different, despite our situation meaning breaking up isn’t going to happen. No legal or practical differences, no religion involved at all, certainly no peer pressure, no need for it at all … yet the state of mind changed and we wanted to mark that.
And frock up, of course.
Drool. A very good friend and former roommate of mine grew up in Pennsylvania but her family was from the Philippines. I really miss her cooking. She taught me how to make lumpia and I’ve attempted it a few times with decent results but nothing like she used to make.
hellkell, that sounds like a great wedding! I would love to have been married barefoot.
Ours (nearly 24 years ago) was at a Victorian mansion that held parties and weddings. We had already lived together for 5 years, and we were broke, just-about-to-graduate students paying for nearly everything ourselves, so everything was on a shoestring. My mom gave me $400 for a dress, so I found one for $250 and gave the rest to the caterers. I made mix tapes for the reception. I don’t remember most of the songs, except that this:
was followed by this:
Ah, second video should be
Two Aussie women went to Canada to marry when it became legal there. The Government here (iirc) changed the law some time later, so that not only are same-sex couples not allowed to marry here, but overseas marriages are not recognised either.
@Nobinayamu
Love both is and isn’t a reason to get married. I don’t love my boyfriend any less just because I won’t marry him. In fact, to me, marriage would cheapen it. I understand that people love the person and see marriage as a way to demonstrate that love, but then the reason is that they think marriage is something that does that.
I think what Joanna meant was “what is marriage?” to those who believe it is something beyond “just what you do when you are in love,” “just what you do when you become an adult,” “just what you do when you want children,” “just what you do to get a tax break,” etc.
Here is a link to the approx 1400 advantages and obligations available to married people in the US.
http://www.religioustolerance.org/mar_bene.htm
Yeah, I didn’t mean that love is the reason to get married. I’m saying that love is a reason that people get married. We aren’t in disagreement.
And I understand Joanna’s question; my answer still stands. Some people want to marry as an expression of their love. As far as what marriage is/means to them, you’d have to ask them specifically. Again, I have to ask, do you know any gay/lesbian couples who have married despite the fact that the state they live in does not recognize their union and their church will not perform the ceremony?
Nobody’s mentioned hospital visitation yet.
Point is, there are lots of reasons why one might want to get married and plenty of reasons why one might not want to, just like with anything one might want to do. But Martyn, of course, is framing it as “Haha, I’ve seen through the ruse! FREE YOUR MIND!”
Re: marriage, while Martyn was pretty harsh I think the point may be, or at least the point I agree with, that marriage shouldn’t be a *legal* institution.
In NZ we have defacto partners (no paperwork necessary – just live together in a relationship for >3 years), civil unions and marriage. Marriage is straight only and it’s pretty fucked up that while for all intents and purposes we have equality for gay people we still have an extra special category for straight people. Awesome. -_-
P.S. I have given up on keeping up here and am pretty much lurking most of the time at the moment because I keep missing things and falling behind. 😛
I think I understand what Kitteh is saying. Is the difference from going from not married to married sort of the same as going from liking someone to loving them?
That whole equality thingumy is absolute bs when you accord that many financial advantages to people who contract marriage and no one else.
@Hrovitnir
I would love to see marriage abolished as a legal institution.
I’ve known several couples who got married (had ceremonies that were not legally binding or performed by any sort of official clergy) despite the fact that they did not have/want children and would not receive any of the government sanctioned benefits of marriage. They wanted to get married. Currently I live in a city that recognizes gay marriage and that makes me very happy.
I don’t think people have to be married to be in committed relationships but I do believe that the option should be open to all who want it.