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awesome MRA neckbeard rights parody

Shampoo away the grey with Just for Men’s Rights Activists

aandYvf

MRAs can now shampoo away the grey in their neckbeards in just five minutes with Just For Men’s Rights Activists special neckbeard formula gel! Now with a new, angrier formula!

I found this faux trading card on Reddit’s AgainstMensRights subreddit, which is devoted to skewering the MensRights subreddit. The OP says his girlfriend got it at an art show, but alas I do not know where that show was or from whom she got it.

Click on the pic for a bigger version, in which you can see that this formula comes in Fedora Brown, and was “voted best for neckbeards by a panel of elder misogynists.”

Ironically, the beards depicted on real Just for Men boxes aren’t much more believable than the one on the parody box.

Also ironically, I am sporting a bit of a neckbeard today. No bulging veins in my forehead, though.

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Nobinayamu
Nobinayamu
7 years ago

Congratulations, Falconer!

Shadow
Shadow
7 years ago

@Falconer

Congratulations, you sly rascal!! So happy for you guys

clairedammit
clairedammit
7 years ago

Congratulations, Falconer and Beloved. I’m so happy for you both!

Dvärghundspossen
7 years ago

Congratulations Falconer!

Re Ozy:s post, I wasn’t really thinking about the post zie linked to, more about what zie wrote herself. As soon as you start using physical characteristics to insult people, I think it’s really easy to slip into simply insulting people for being ugly, having bad taste, or being dorky in some way, despite the fact that they haven’t done anything morally wrong.

I DO think this tends to happen with the term “nice guy” in many contexts as well though, It’s not that people use it for minor moral wrongs as well as big moral wrongs – I have no problem with that – but people often use it for stuff that isn’t morally wrong at all as well. Such as having an unhappy crush at your female friend, not daring to tell her about it and sulking in private about this unhappy crush. Lots of people (including women) have been in this situation, and the fact that you’re too insecure to tell someone about the crush you have and feel bad about being unhappily in love DOESN’T MAKE YOU A BAD PERSON. But it does seem really common to slide from talking about entitlement in the sense of actually despising someone for not loving you back, to merely talking about feeling shitty about being unhappily in love, as if these were even comparable.

Anyway, re “Fedoras of OKcupid”, you can just check out that page yourselves and immediately you find not just awful guys but also guys who merely seem dorky. IT’S NOT OKAY TO BULLY PEOPLE FOR BEING DORKY.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Haven’t time to do a long post, but there’s a difference between a “nice guy” and NiceGuy(TM) – the latter is pretty specific about the entitled, blaming, stalkerish creeps who are not in fact any sort of friends to women, and not any sort of nice person. They’re putting in kindness coins and expecting sex in return, and when it doesn’t eventuate they whine about being friendzoned. They fail at basic decency because they expect cookies for it – specifically, they don’t seem to think there is any reason to be friends with women; we exist to put out and we’re wronging them when we don’t. We’re also wrong for not being mind readers. It’s not the same as the behaviour you mentioned, Dvarghundspossen.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
7 years ago

Yeah, I think ozy’s post only works if you assume that people often use the term Nice Guy to refer to guys who’re actually nice guy. Which a. isn’t true and b. is a thing that sexist dudes like to pretend is true, so I’m side-eyeing that post a bit.

Abnoy
Abnoy
7 years ago

“A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you’re a great guy, but I don’t like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we’re not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we’re going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn’t work out, we’ll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired.”

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=just%20friends

lowquacks
lowquacks
7 years ago

…Why exactly could this not happen the other way around? In fact, I’ve seen it like that. The “just friends” “applicant” is, of course, missing rather a vital qualification – sexual/romantic attraction. It’d be like me applying for a carpentry job with a resume that’s just about perfect for a beginner, but with my diploma in Music (Technical Production) rather than carpentry and the only relevant qualifications being the low pass I got in the one high school woodwork course I was required to take, and then complaining I don’t get the job.

lowquacks
lowquacks
7 years ago

Also @aworldanon

It’s not advised for the face, but if you’re stubbly and just want to cut back a few neck hairs, dry shaving carefully with multi-bladed razor works quite nicely for me (I might have very tough skin or something, but I doubt it). I just remove the very outer bits of my beard, and haven’t needed shaving foam in ages (I’ve used hot water occasionally but don’t need it)

lowquacks
lowquacks
7 years ago

Stretching the skin taut before dry-shaving helps too.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

I thought that “hey, fucking children isn’t illegal in my country, hur hur hur” Abnoy had been banned?

lowquacks
lowquacks
7 years ago

Not that I remember, but it’s so hard to keep track.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
7 years ago

Not that I recall, I thought he’d just wandered off (probably hoping we’d forget) *not really here*

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Damn. I know there were plenty of calls for him to be banned last time.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Hey, question for moustache-wearers: does having facial hair make it harder to get rid of acquired facial cat furs? You know, the whole “pleh, pleh, pleh, SPLUT” thing.

lowquacks
lowquacks
7 years ago

I haven’t noticed that, but my elderly kitty likes to put his paw on the face of people he’s cuddling, and has trouble with retracting his claws, and once got a velcro-type seal with my beard. Only once, though.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Ouch!

Friend of mine had a cat called Velcro … I can’t remember the details but I think it involved her then-boyfriend and a non-detachable kitten.

I asked because I had a serious case of Inhale-a-Cat this morning after getting Maddie’s soft undercoat fur all over myself. I’ve noticed Louis do it on occasions (the pleh, pleh thing) with that lot over There, and he seems to have sprouted an extra ‘tache when he’s doing it, so I wondered if anyone else had that happen.

Dvärghundspossen
7 years ago

Look, I KNOW that “nice guy TM” isn’t the same thing as a guy who’s nice, and Ozy knows this too. What I claim is that people sometimes seem to use “nice guy TM” or just “nice guy” with the “TM” implied about guys who merely crushes on a friend, is too insecure to tell her and feel shitty about that situation. These guys may or may not be nice people overall, but regardless, being in that situation doesn’t make you a bad person.

On this very blog I’ve seen people (don’t remember which members though) argue that a) most britpop lyrics feature a nice guy TM as the “I” of the song, and b) most romantic comedies have a nice guy TM as a lead. Really? How many britpop lyrics can you mention off the top of your heads where the “I” actually resents a female friend for not returning his affections, or is a misogynist? How many romcoms can you mention where this is the case? (I agree that there are lots of problematic PATTERNS in movies, like how often an average-looking guy end up with a Hollywood-attractive girl, or how often a girl gets to realise that she was dating a douchebag and that there was this great guy around all the time whom is really her true love etc… but this isn’t problematic in ITSELF, it’s just problematic that it’s a PATTERN that pops up over and over again in movies, and above all, it’s different from the male lead being an entitled piece of shit.) So yeah, it does seem to me as if people often slide from “it’s wrong to hate on your female friend for not returning your affection” to “it’s somehow wrong to be unhappily in love, too insecure to say anything about it and feeling shitty about that situation”. And from “bullying misogynists” to “bullying anyone I find dorky/ugly/pathetic” (as is evidenced by just flipping through “fedoras of OKcupid”).

Dvärghundspossen
7 years ago

And btw, just because I think the term Nice Guy TM is often thrown around too loosely doesn’t mean I don’t agree with the rest of the regulars here that the Abnoy quote is horrible and reveals a horrible view on women.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
7 years ago

I don’t think anyone here is unclear on what you mean, it’s just that some of us don’t agree with your argument.

Dvärghundspossen
7 years ago

Cassandra: Fair enough! It’s just that Kitten wrote a post explaining the difference between actually nice people and Nice Guys TM.

But sure, we can agree to disagree.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
7 years ago

Maybe I should have stated that more as I, personally, see what you’re saying and just don’t agree. I do think that the fedora = asshole thing is stupid, but in terms of the Nice Guy issue I think most of the guys labelled that way fit the label very well. There’s a continuum of Nice Guy behavior, and people who’re at the less ridiculous end of it are still on the continuum, in my opinion.

Viscaria
Viscaria
7 years ago

I don’t like terms like “neckbeard” for the same reasons Dvärghundspossen has described. I largely kept out of this thread for that reason (except to celebrate BABEEZ).

But, no, I don’t think Nice Guy ™ is being abused. It has a particular meaning, and people use it to mean that. I also think it’s extraordinarily common to have Nice Guy heroes in rom-coms. How many romantic movies have you seen where the woman dates Wrong Guy #1, Wrong Guy #2, Wrong Guy #3, and finally her poor, beleaguered male best friend has to tell her that it’s unfair of her to keep “using” him for his friendship while she has the gall to date men that aren’t him? And then, of course, she finally sees the error of her ways and chooses the friend, who deserves her love/genitals because of all the effort he’s put in over the years! How many of these films depict the woman as selfish, and the man as long-suffering?

And if it’s not the long-suffering friend, it’s the guy who gets rejected or broken up with who then spends the entire film ignoring the woman’s clear “no” and trying to break down her boundaries until finally she realized he was the right guy all along. These dudes are also depicted as long-suffering, as well as determined and persistent and noble. Just keep asking, boys! Eventually you can badger her yes into a no.

The difference between the films and the reality is that these guys do “get the girl,” unlike the Nice Guys ™ in real life; but that just shows what the filmmakers believe should happen. Women should reward friendship with sex, and they should say yes if you continue asking in more and more elaborate ways.

hellkell
hellkell
7 years ago

I do think that the fedora = asshole thing is stupid, but in terms of the Nice Guy issue I think most of the guys labelled that way fit the label very well.

This. It’s pretty easy to tell who is genuinely nice as opposed to being nice in the hopes of getting sex.

Some Gal Not Bored at All

@ Dvärghundspossen

I agree with you that Nice Guy (TM) is occasionally overused, but I have only seen it overused in terms of fiction. I don’t think real life affords many situations that are perfectly Nice Guy (TM) situations except for one thing (and then we can all argue about how important that one thing actually is). Every Nice Guy (TM) who is a real person has been perfectly labelled imo. (I haven’t seen everybody though.)

Additionally, I am not sure that even someone misidentified would be a reason to dislike a site like Nice Guys of OKC. Certainly it should be talked about, but I think in terms of social shaming (not law), it is better not to let little wrong behaviors go just because they might be a judgement call. This is obviously not the same case with physical characteristics where there is nothing (or should be nothing) shameful about having the physical characteristic in the first place.

Dvärghundspossen
7 years ago

I also think it’s extraordinarily common to have Nice Guy heroes in rom-coms. How many romantic movies have you seen where the woman dates Wrong Guy #1, Wrong Guy #2, Wrong Guy #3, and finally her poor, beleaguered male best friend has to tell her that it’s unfair of her to keep “using” him for his friendship while she has the gall to date men that aren’t him?

Hm, I just realised that perhaps I shouldn’t say anything about romcoms since I don’t watch a lot of them? But I didn’t think it were common that the male lead actually told the woman that she was a bad person for not going out with him… I thought the usual chain of events were “woman goes out with douchebag” and then “woman has an epiphany and sees the error of her ways” followed by “woman starts dating our hero”. I agree that watching tons of such movies could easily feed into the nice-guy-illusions of the male audience, and that’s one reason they’re problematic, but in order for the male lead of the movie to qualify as a Nice Guy TM he would have to demonstrate some dislike against the girl (not just pining) for choosing the “wrong” guy first, and I didn’t think that was common.

But well, you’re probably more well-versed in romcoms than I am.

Btw, one thing I liked about the much-maligned Superman Returns is that Louis, when Superman comes back from space, dates a guy who seems perfectly decent. It doesn’t come off as incomprehensible or weird at all that these two are a couple.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

I think you mean Lois, not Louis, unless the cast has changed since the old days! 😉

I also don’t watch romcoms or listen to pop music, so can’t comment on them. My contact with the NiceGuyTM is the websites like this, or Captain Awkward, or Nice Guys of OKCupid, where the men themselves are showing all too clearly that they’re entitled, misogynistic douchebags. Hell, if being in love and not speaking were enough for the label, both Louis (Mr K) and I could be stuck with it.

For that matter, I wonder if these NiceGuysTM are actually in love at all, or just pissed that the sex vending bot isn’t giving them their candy after all the kindness coins they put in. There’s precious little evidence from the whining ones that they love the woman’s company, or all the little things that make her who she is, or that her welfare and happiness matter to them. No, it’s all possessiveness and resentment. Sure, love can turn sour, but I question whether these blokes were ever in love with anything but their boners.

Viscaria
Viscaria
7 years ago

But well, you’re probably more well-versed in romcoms than I am.

Terrible made-for-tv romantic comedies are one of my many weaknesses XD. But it looks like we’re vehemently arguing the same position on this one. I agree with you in substance, I’m just using different terminology. My mistake!

Viscaria
Viscaria
7 years ago

Whoa, the mobile site got waaay prettier at some point today!

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

A site got prettier?

MISANDRY!

Falconer
7 years ago

Btw, one thing I liked about the much-maligned Superman Returns is that Louis, when Superman comes back from space, dates a guy who seems perfectly decent.

That … would be awesome.

Dvärghundspossen
7 years ago

Haha, sorry, you gotta remember that English isn’t my mother tongue, so the spelling of English names aren’t obvious to me.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

LOL Falconer!

He’s had a few relationships with guys, but I don’t think they ever lived in Metropolis or Smallville …

Dvarghundspossen – don’t worry, you wouldn’t believe how many people whose mother tongue is English can’t tell the difference between Lois/Louis/Louise. They don’t even sound the same. Well, I know Louis is pronounced more like Lewis in the US – very odd it was to hear, I might add! – but the S is silent in Oz pronunciation, though that’s about as close to the French as it gets.

/name geekery

Jessay (@jessay)
7 years ago

My boyfriend can only grow a weird, patchy neck beard, so he generally doesn’t try. But he’s decided to stop shaving for a while which means he has that neck beard. I can’t demand he shave it because he doesn’t get on my case if I don’t shave my legs when I don’t feel like it so I’m letting him have his time. I just wish he understood how bad neckbeards are haha.

If he buys a fedora I will burn it though.

Jessay (@jessay)
7 years ago

For my take on the fedora: I hate them, sorry guys, I hate them, I hated them before I noticed a correlation between dudes who wear them and dudes who say really gross, “nice guy,” misogynistic things, and I will hate them long after. I hate when people put them on and suddenly act really smug or think they’re insta-suave. I don’t think they enhance anyone’s appearance, but detract from it. I hate fedoras with a passion and I really don’t care much about fashion in general. Just something about that hat makes me irrationally grossed out.

starskita
starskita
7 years ago

Congratulations Falconer and family! I hope everybody is healthy and that you have a smooth adjustment to being a bigger family.

Jessay (@jessay)
7 years ago

@Dvärghundspossen At the very least you always hear the line, “Why does she go out with him? He’s such a jerk!” Often you see the not-so-attractive man objectifying the woman based on her appearance, not really saying much of anything about her personality. And then doing all sorts of things to undermine her freedom of choice with minimal effort spent on self improvement.

But of course they always overemphasize just how much of a douche the boyfriend is. He’s always a borderline criminal, school bully, whatever. It’s very obvious to everyone that he sucks. In reality it’s normally that the boyfriend is considered a douche just for being a guy who isn’t him. They play up the fantasy scenario in the average “nice guy’s” mind and they seem to apply these movie plots to everyday life.

Nice guy movie I can think of with this off the top of my head: Angus

Dvärghundspossen
7 years ago

Btw, just read this really smart blogpost of Swedish feminist blogger Tania Suhinina, on the Asshole ™. I’m gonna share a quick summary with you, since I thought it was really spot on:

The Asshole ™ is of course not labelled such by himself, but by others. There’s a bit of a parallel to slut-shaming here, in that the Asshole ™ is considered a person of bad character merely for having sex with lots of people (there are obvious differences too, of course, in that a female slut is considered to have low self-respect and “give it up” too easily, while the Asshole ™ is considered to use and manipulate the poor women into giving it up, but still).

What’s typical of the Asshole ™ is actually NOT that he’s completely aromantic and only wants sex and not love, but rather that he’s quick to “give it a try” if he’s attracted to someone, and has a “let’s see where this leads” approach. Maybe the person he’s attracted to rejects him – in case he rather quickly shrugs it off and moves on. Maybe they’ll end up having sex or just go on a couple of dates that lead nowhere – or maybe they’ll end up falling seriously in love and having an LTR.

Just as every other person on the planet, the Asshole ™ will find out that most people he’s attracted to aren’t attracted to him back, but as I said, when he’s rejected he shrugs it off and moves on. So if, say, one out of four women he approaches goes on a date with him or has sex with him, or one out of six, he’s still gonna appear as pretty successful with women.

Since women are socialized into being passive and waiting for the guy to make the first move, it’s gonna be the case for the Asshole ™ as for most men that he’s gotta be the one taking the initiative most of the time. Still, if some woman is attracted to the Asshole ™, the probability might be fairly high that she asks him out, because doing so isn’t SCARY. He’s an easy-going guy! If he isn’t interested, he’s not gonna make a big deal out of it. If he IS interested, but the WOMAN finds out that they didn’t have that much in common after all and breaks it off, he’s not gonna sulk forever about that evil bitch who asked him out and then just threw him away again.

And that was the analysis of the Asshole ™ – or, in the minds of MRA:s everywhere, part of the famous carousel teh evol womenz like to ride.

Dvärghundspossen
7 years ago

@Jessay: Haven’t seen that movie, but it looks AWFUL! 🙁

Some Gal Not Bored at All

@ Dvärghundspossen

That post on the Asshole(TM) sounds fantastic! (or good summary? They are probably both good. 🙂 ) Thanks!

pseudo_star_17
pseudo_star_17
7 years ago

I am an inveterate rom-com (and Lifetime, but that’s beside the point) movie watcher. I think the reason I identify so many Nice Guys (TM) in rom-coms is because it feels like the movie’s choices push the audience to over sympathize with the “best friend who’s been right in front of her ALL ALONG”, to the point that we feel disappointed in the heroine. I’ve had to question a lot of my reactions during rom-coms when I thought “Ugh! Can’t she SEE what she’s doing to Best Friend?” It just feels like we get manipulated into feeling we’re waiting, along with Nice Guy, for the leading lady to get her head on straight because her other choices are wrong because Nice Guy is clearly the Right Choice.

So, I guess I can see how the actual character Guy in the movie might not really BE a Nice Guy (TM), but if the effect on the audience is still the same (lady is wrong, owes guy a chance/romance), I count it anyway.

Dvärghundspossen
7 years ago

PseudoStar: That was a really good analysis. It might not be implied that the MALE LEAD thinks “what a terrible bitch who doesn’t love me”, but the audience might still be pushed into exactly that kind of Nice-Guy-TM-reasoning.

Some Gal: Well, it was mostly an awesome post. 🙂 I shouldn’t take credit.

Some Gal Not Bored at All

Maybe we should try to make a distinction between Nice Guy(TM) movies and movies with a Nice Guy(TM) in them when referring to specific ones? I think saying that romcoms, in general, encourage Nice Guy(TM)ism is accurate and so, for general conversation, the distinction may not be needed.

Dvärghundspossen
7 years ago

Yeah, that distinction might not be needed most of the time, but might be important sometimes. I haven’t seen “500 days of summer” for instance, but I’ve heard people say that the male lead is a Nice Guy ™ although the movie doesn’t try to portray him in a good light.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
7 years ago

Dvarg, maybe you should see the movie before commenting on how the characters are portrayed? We call trolls out for doing the “well I haven’t seen/read this but I know what it means” thing all the time.

Some Gal Not Bored at All

The lead is definitely a Nice Guy(TM) in the says he is/thinks of himself as a nice guy, but acts like an entitled, demanding asshole. The movie is way more sympathetic to him than the character deserves imo. I think the Manic Pixie Dreamgirl is a bigger problem even though the movie does (barely) take some steps to address that. I think it is fair to say that it is a movie with a Nice Guy(TM), but not a Nice Guy(TM) movie. It is still a Manic Pixie Dreamgirl movie though because the real person aspect is still about advancing the main character’s learning and growth.

Overall, the movie would have been a lot stronger if the main character weren’t “rewarded” with Autumn after his experience with Summer. It reminds me a little of how people often cut a lot of slack to young men who behave badly because they’ll grow out of it while paying no attention to the young women getting hurt regularly by the men’s misogyny. The main character in 500 Days of Summer is an asshole and (probably) learns and grows from it, but the “reward” for his journey THAT HAPPENED AT THE EXPENSE OF SUMMER is a (from the cutesy name) rather interchangeable woman.

I enjoyed the movie and it is very progressive as the genre goes, but that isn’t saying much.

(Confession: I also love romcoms and have only turned one off before seeing the end – The Accidental Husband, which just got too rapey too fast – so I enjoy them despite knowing how awful they are and I really enjoyed 500 Days of Summer.)

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
7 years ago

@ Some Girl

I think it’s that sense that the audience is meant to sympathize with the main character even though he’s being unreasonable that pissed off so many female viewers. There’s a really clear gender split in how people see that movie, and I think that may be the reason why even more than the manic pixie thing. The same actress was just as manic pixie in Elf, and generally speaking feminists don’t dislike that movie in the same way. I think it’s because we’re not expected to sympathize with a man who’s being a jerk to the manic pixie in Elf.

Also! Parallels between the way 500 Days assumes that the audience will sympathize with the protagonist’s “journey” even when it’s at someone else’s expense and the way that Martyn assumes that a random group of people on a blog will be happy to assist with his learning process even if he annoys, upsets, or offends them along the way. Anyone else seeing lots of them?

Dvärghundspossen
7 years ago

Sorry Cassandra, that was sloppy writing (or thinking, or both). Nevermind THAT movie; theoretically, you could totally make a movie about a Nice Guy ™ without endorsing Nice-Guy-ness (and considering the vast amount of movies that have been made there probably exists at least one such movie), and in that case it could be useful to point out that it’s a movie merely ABOUT one.

Heck, if you merely wanna explain to someone who isn’t clear on that terminology what you mean by Nice Guy ™ and how it relates to rom-coms and whatnot it would probably be clarifying to explain it the way Pseudostar did: even if the male lead is portrayed as genuinely nice, the movie could have a creepy Nice Guy ™ message which encourages you to see the female lead as BAD for not returning his affection. The feelings of the main character, one thing. The feelings the movie tries to incur in the audience, another thing.

Some Gal Not Bored at All

@CassandraSays

We were so supposed to be Martyn’s Manic Pixie Dream Blog! Too bad we turned out to be just too irrational and emotional for him. Silly us and our moral objections to eugenics.