MRAs can now shampoo away the grey in their neckbeards in just five minutes with Just For Men’s Rights Activists special neckbeard formula gel! Now with a new, angrier formula!
I found this faux trading card on Reddit’s AgainstMensRights subreddit, which is devoted to skewering the MensRights subreddit. The OP says his girlfriend got it at an art show, but alas I do not know where that show was or from whom she got it.
Click on the pic for a bigger version, in which you can see that this formula comes in Fedora Brown, and was “voted best for neckbeards by a panel of elder misogynists.”
Ironically, the beards depicted on real Just for Men boxes aren’t much more believable than the one on the parody box.
Also ironically, I am sporting a bit of a neckbeard today. No bulging veins in my forehead, though.
I always shave my neck, even if I’m shaving nothing else. It’s the difference between “not shaving” and “growing a beard”; it means that I didn’t forget to shave, that the hair remaining on my face is there because I want it there.
It looks like a Roz Chast cartoon.
The reason that I myself was necroing that old thread is that I have finally finished the post on the JohnTheOtter posters. Truly, one of The Kittehs’ finest hours here. Check it out! (Warning: If you have a slow Internet connection, you will want to hurl the “Step on a LEGO” curse at me if you click on that link. Many images.)
Thanks, hellkell! 🙂
@Some Gal – my gf got it online from a company in the US, and it was all of $10. I can’t recall what company it was; I know they don’t ship overseas. I just had a look through Etsy’s website and didn’t see it there, though they had a heap of really nice fleur de lys rings (and don’t ship overseas … grrr).
Sir and I decided it’s my engagement ring. We like doing things arse about face … first we’re married, then we get wedding rings, then we have a wedding ceremony of sorts, then he proposes, then I get an engagement ring.
@lowquacks – but if your beard won’t grow down far enough, wouldn’t that mean you’d have to stand on your head all the time to be an MRA?
@Hershele, nice to see you, been a while!
… aaand it’s raining again, hope that brings the temperature and humidity down. Not counting on it, though.
That is a pretty ring, Kittehs’!
Thanks, cloudiah!
I love, LOVE your latest blog post. And not cos it’s got my stuff in it. Cthulhu’s Intern’s “Feminists in disguise” poster cracked me up completely.
@Kittehhelp
I’m not quite sure what you’re saying, but that sounds inconvenient, and the requisite tinfoil hat would probably fall off like that, so it’s probably for the best.
Is it really hot and humid down there too then? Weather was just starting to get reasonable and nice about a week ago and then storms then this.
@The Kittehs’
That’s awesome. I was thinking a similar necklace would make a nice anniversary gift from the boyfriend. (Our 9th anniversary is in roughly two weeks.)
@Some Gal – I think Etsy had quite a few fleur-de-lys pendants or necklaces as well, though not with the same blue stone. The ones I saw were very pretty.
Early happy anniversary wishes!
@lowquacks – I was thinking that MRAs have to have neckbeards, so if yours was over instead of under, you’d have to stand upside down to do it. Or at least, to look as silly as an MRA. 😉
Oh, John the Otter! This gif reminded me of something, but I couldn’t think what.
PS it hasn’t been outrageously hot – mid to low thirties – but it’s been really steamy. We had thunderstorms all over the city yesterday morning, heavy enough that the lower-lying paths in Fawkner Park were pooled maybe 5cm deep in water. I’ve never seen them that wet before. Then of course the rain cleared, it went up to about 26C, and was like a sauna in the afternoon.
I wish I was at Home! We were out playing in the snow yesternight!
/summer rant
lowquacks, but that otter is mad for reasons that make sense! Unstackable cups. Who would hand those to an otter?!!?!?
Hey Manboobz, OP from the post here! For those wondering, the artist is Simon Hanselmann, http://girlmountain.tumblr.com/
@The Kittehs’
Thanks. 🙂
The boyfriend actually just got rid of his neckbeard today. (He treats his facial hair like I treat my leg, etc. hair. We let it grow until we feel like doing something about it or it gets annoying and then we get rid of all of it and start over.) So, today was his shaving/haircut day. Fitting.
I’ve never really liked the neckbeard insult, because of it’s “you aren’t manly enough. If you were you’d be able to grow a proper beard on your face” aspect. One of my best friends is your classic computer gaming guy. He’s also baby-faced and has very sparse facial hair even though he’s in his 20s. If he doesn’t shave he gets a bit of a scraggly goatee/neckbeard. He does have good hygiene, and he is definitely not a misogynist.
So yeah, it just seems a bit gender/appearance policing to me.
I gave up on shaving or depilating any other way years ago, though I’d only ever done it sporadically. I don’t go bare legged anyway, and if someone wants to have a tizzy about my fluffy ankles, that’s their problem. As for the oxters (not otters, lol!) it’s not worth it – I’m very prone to chafing in hot weather, and being hairless makes it worse. Plus it’s too much hassle and too uncomfortable when hair’s growing out.
I’ve never associated neckbeard with a guy not being able to grow hair above the chinline – just seen it as a particularly ugly beard that’s not worth growing (my aesthetics, obviously) and its association with groups that are notoriously misogynistic. It’s the fedora line that bugs me, though that’s less personal than hair, of course. Fedoras to me are Sir and Foyle and Milner and Johny Depp and Indiana Jones and … just gorgeous, flattering hats.
Thanks, dlouwe!
The whole neckbeard concept confuses me, since none of the men I know are hairy enough to grow one.
@Kittehs
I’ve not seen your other half before recently, is that one of the Louis’?
Also, neckbeards are what grows on men who can’t be bothered to shave.
re fedoras: I wear one (in the “stetson” style, not the “Front Page” style). What I don’t wear is trilbies. Too small, and affected. Can’t keep the sun out of your eyes, nor the rain off your neck. They don’t flatter the face and make the head look too big.
It’s a rare person (usually female) who can pull it off. Most of the men who wear it are more affected than I tend to enjoy; lots of style, at the expense of apparent substance.
But that’s my “shallow” takeaway on them.
I get Roz Chast, but it feels to me like it’s Gorge Zimmer by way of Adventure Time and Kate Beaton (those googly eyes look kinda like her horse eyes).
see e.g. http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120301235619/ideas/images/2/23/Marceline%27s_Dad.jpg
@aworldanonymous – yup, he’s Louis XIII. This is a then-and-now shot. He was about 33 when the portrait was painted.
🙂
Absolutely. I love hats and my fedora is one of my favorites, second only to my bright red bowler.