I find the Oscars tedious, and only watched a few minutes last night — I bailed shortly after Captain Kirk made his appearance — but apparently I should have stuck around, if only to watch the insufferable Seth MacFarlane’s award-winning performance as Unfunny Misogynist Asshole Host.
What, you say, he didn’t actually win an award for that? Well, yes he did: Having read a number of accounts of the whole sorry spectacle, I’m awarding MacFarlane the non-coveted Man Boobz Boob of the Day Award (Oscar Edition). In the wake of MacFarlane’s performance at the Oscars, in which he devoted a whole song to actresses’ breasts, I should note that I am using the word “boob” to mean “nincompoop.” Which, to be honest, is an undeservedly mild epithet for a guy who punctuated his comments with repeated jokes about rape.
A few of the highlights of MacFarlane’s night:
That song-and-dance number about how great it is to see so many boobs in films – including, specifically, in The Accused, and Monster, and Boys Don’t Cry. You know, during the rape scenes in those quie serious films.
MacFarlane’s animatronic teddy bear (from his movie Ted) joking about attending an orgy at Jack Nicholson’s house – you know, the place where Roman Polanski raped a 13-year old girl.
Oh, and then there was MacFarlane joking about how 9-year-old Quvenzhané Wallis would be too old to date George Clooney in about 16 years. (What, is Heartiste writing MacFarlane’s jokes?) And his bizarre domestic violence joke about Chris Brown and Rihanna. And on and on. (See here for many more examples.)
Getting into the spirit of the evening, whoever was doing The Onion’s twitter account decided it would be hilarious to refer to the aforementioned 9-year-old Quvenzhané Wallis as a “cunt.” The Onion later deleted the tweet and offered an apology for it.
Somehow I doubt we’re going to get an apology from MacFarlane.
Here are a couple more takes on the whole unfortunate evening.
Why Seth MacFarlane’s Misogyny Matters (Vulture)
Seth MacFarlane and the Oscars’ Hostile, Ugly, Sexist Night (The New Yorker)
Oscar Watch: Was That Awful or What? (NY Post)
EDITED TO ADD: Oh, joy! The Men’s Rights subreddit weighs in on the issue, in a thread sort-of-responding to that New Yorker piece.
EDITED TO ADD AGAIN: Actually, r/mensrights has two threads on the subject; here’s the other one.
Arks in his denim bermudas and Diogenes in his slacks and blazer would make such a lovely combination.
“Seth MacFarlane is a horse’s ass”
That’s an insult to horses’s arses. This is a horse’s arse and it’s prettier, more useful and probably more intelligent than Seth MacFarlane. (The horse in question is the mighty Black Caviar.)
🙂
Clamhurt? That’s really not in line with your best work. Try harder, monkey.
@Dragon Slayer
That’s not how things work.
Seth MacFarlane is an enormous ass and was a terrible host, but that picture isn’t of Charlize Theron’s reaction to the boobs song – it’s a picture of Charlize Theron that was PART of the boobs song. The whole “joke” of the opening monologue was “Tee hee, look how terrible and offensive I am,” and he used old footage of celebrities looking annoyed in reaction to the jokes he “wasn’t” making, like the boobs song he “didn’t” perform.
(Basically, for those who didn’t watch it, the gimmick was that he got a message from the future saying the show would be terrible and everyone would hate him as a host, with examples of the sort of terrible offensive things he’d do. The boobs song was one example of that.)
http://www.wsws.org/en/articles/2012/03/acad-m02.html
Wow so many people are defending Macfarlane on those other sites omg. My family was watching it what saved me were snarky twitter remarks (the people i follow on twitter) were altogether just hilarious enough to make it bearable.
Well, I guess someone has to be the bitchy one, right?
He’s not all that handsome. I could break it down into all the individual flaws that make him not all that handsome, but I don’t want to do any collateral damage to perfectly nice people who happen to look like him.
No wonder Arks is crushing on him – just another misogynist wanker looking for attention.
Well, Cassandra, you must concede that he has very white teeth.
Cassandra – can I join you in the list of Bitchy Ones? I find him totally unhandsome, without any consideration of his personality.
MacFarlane is sometimes funny, though (usually when he’s punching up instead of down). Arksy is a one trick pony who doesn’t know how to make jokes about anything other than how much vaginas scare him.
It’s entirely natural to posture on the Internet; when I was in junior high, my friends and I would diss celebrities too. But eventually, you have to grow up and admit that if any woman was in front of Seth MacFarlane, Niagara would erupt from her thighs.
@Dragon Slayer
Do you get turned on by being angry, frustrated, scared or bored? Because I don’t.
If MacFarlane would sing a lot and never, ever talk, I think I’d find him moderately attractive. As it stands, whatever good looks he might possess are vastly overshadowed by the fact that he appears to be incapable of going five minutes without making a joke that boils down to “Bitches, amirite? LOL!”
http://www.wsws.org/en/articles/2009/10/pola-o05.html
It is important to know why certain people are targeted when they are, both in the case of Polanski and other more recent events such as the Dominique Strauss-Kahn affair.
Academy Awards–anyone who cares about cinema must certainly cringe at the dumbing down of this event–it really doesn’t matter who ‘wins’, but the attitude towards cinema as an art does matter.
Aw, look, he’s getting all defensive now. Wannabe-scathing comments about how icky and pathetic female arousal is are his safe place, kind of like a blankie that he can take with him everywhere he goes.
Just a note about the “boobs” song–It was prerecorded along with the reaction shots.
If Niagara erupted from my thighs, I would get myself to an emergency room STAT. I’d be concerned about the state of my femoral artery.
Now, here’s a handsome man.
“Niagara would erupt from her thighs.”
That sounds painful.
Arksy makes me laugh because although he says he’s bisexual and does all right with the guys, he’s obsessed with his fear of women’s bodies. Like, dude, what’s your problem?
Maybe he thinks our “clams” will shut tight and cut his willy off if he ever puts it inside. Never mind the vagina dentata, this is the vagina arcidae.
(Look up arcidae for the reason for that Latin-mangling pun.)
Fair play to the Onion. That’s a classy apology.
Arksy, do you really think that we all find the same men attractive? You are so dumb.
Ah, well. I crack jokes sometimes; you post on an Internet message board three hundred times a day. We all have our vices.
Now we’ve reached the “you’re losers who are here all the time” portion of the Troll Show. Arks, get better material.