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Feminism: It’s like letting your kids stay up eating ice cream

funny-crazy-mad-kid-girl-ice-cream-youll-scream-pics

How would you define feminism in a sentence or two?

Wait, stop thinking, for Reddit’s ImissAOL  has already provided a wonderfully concise and accurate definition:

I see modern feminism as the equivalent to letting your kids stay up all night eating ice cream.

He adds, helpfully:

Just because they feel they are getting their way doesn’t mean it is actually benefiting them.

Gosh, that’s not patronizing at all!

Sometimes doing this blog makes me hungry.

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katz
7 years ago

I thought he was going to go the “feminists are bad parents” route. But this is way more obnoxious!

Some Gal Not Bored at All

Somehow, I feel that “Feminism: It’s like being a child” isn’t a catchphrase our Hive Mind wants to adopt.

Some Gal Not Bored at All

BTW, how long until we get a troll claiming we are reading too much into it?

hellkell
hellkell
7 years ago

That picture is cracking me up.

Mr. Definition of Feminism can go jump in a lake.

leftwingfox
7 years ago

That’s the most metal way of enjoying ice cream I’ve ever seen.

Tina
Tina
7 years ago

I don’t really find it that creative. I just know that I’m missing out on fun somewhere in here.

Creative Writing Student

If, for example, not being treated as an aesthetic service the shopping centre has kindly provided to enhance the luncheon of a random dude is like being 5 years old and allowed to stay up past bedtime with ice cream, does this mean I get to demand attractive men drape themselves around cafes and park benches (for their own good, of course)?

Ashley
7 years ago

Ironically I ate ice cream while being amused by that reddit yesterday.

Flora @ Subspecies (@florasubspecies)

I don’t know what I want! Help me, big strong man, because if you let me have autonomy I’m sure to break a nail or something equally tragic!

cloudiah
7 years ago

That is the best picture ever, and that’s real.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

I don’t know what I want! Help me, big strong man, because if you let me have autonomy I’m sure to break a nail or something equally tragic!

Even worse, we won’t know whether to choose chocolate or vanilla or pistachio or toffee or raspberry ripple or … or … !

An Inconvenient Truth
An Inconvenient Truth
7 years ago

Sometimes doing this blog makes me hungry.

Well that explains quite a lot.

cloudiah
7 years ago

HA HA HA HA HA, a fat joke. Preggo Punchout is so edgy and his humor is so creative. Just like Seth McFarlane and The Onion and those great jokes about Quvenzhané Wallis. I mean, WTF.

heidihi
heidihi
7 years ago

“chocolate or vanilla or pistachio or toffee or raspberry ripple….”

Oh DO go on now i’m hungry too 🙂

oh eff it i’m not actually hungry; i just ate lunch. I JUST WANT ICE CREAM!

BlackBloc (@XBlackBlocX)

That child was eating her ice cream cone evilly.

That’s the sort of sentence I never thought I’d have the occasion to write.

princessbonbon
7 years ago

*eats her lunch of chicken chili* Yum.

I have no ice cream since the thin mint batch ran out.

Tulgey Logger
Tulgey Logger
7 years ago

cloudiah, I think you’re confusing Fact Failer with A Continental Breakfast.

Admittedly, it’s hard to tell the difference, as just about any MRA will leap at the chance to bust out the gender policing or body shaming against any man who disagrees with them.

katz
7 years ago

That’s the sort of sentence I never thought I’d have the occasion to write.

I have this game about sentences that I’ve heard said that I’m pretty sure no one else has ever said, ever.

The current winner is “I will reject the banana language as I rejected the Scrabble board.”

cloudiah
7 years ago

Oh Tulgey, you’re right. Except that now I am convinced we only have one troll with many faces.

Did you guys hear that the man who designed the Daleks died?

Tulgey Logger
Tulgey Logger
7 years ago

I know exactly two things about Doctor Who, namely that Daleks EXTERMINATE and that you must not blink. It wasn’t until I got to my twenties that I realized what the origin of that “Daleks” game I played on the computer as a kid in the early 90s was.

daintydougal
daintydougal
7 years ago

And the guv’ment is the parent in this equation? But I thought the government was the beta male that women use to get free monies and prizes? Who is allowing us to stay up and eat ice cream? (When I was a child the dream was to fill a swimming pool with butterscoth angel delight – one has to think big).

Viscaria
Viscaria
7 years ago

I have food poisoning (my mom is very sweetly taking care of me :-3) so I’m not sure I want any ice cream at the moment, thanks very much, feminism. It makes me feel sick at the best of times. Maybe I can just have some autonomy and self-determination instead?

Speaking of ice cream, does anybody have any good suggestions for non soy-based, dairy-free ice cream alternatives? I really dislike the taste of soy.

katz
7 years ago

Coconut ice cream?

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
7 years ago

@ Viscaria

Are you in the US? If so there’s a brand based on coconut milk that’s sold in health food stores, I think it’s called Coconut Dream.

Viscaria
Viscaria
7 years ago

I’m in Canada, but there’s a decent chance I could find some coconut stuff here!

hellkell
hellkell
7 years ago

What about sorbets?

princessbonbon
7 years ago

http://www.slate.com/articles/life/shopping/2012/08/what_s_the_best_vegan_ice_cream_we_taste_tested_six_dairy_free_brands_.html No idea if any of these are good.

Almond milk was a surprise to me…I did not know of this.

cloudiah
7 years ago

I had a coconut one called So Delicious that was pretty good. Almond Dream (I think the same company that makes Coconut Dream, they’re covering all the bases) is pretty good too.

Dani Alexis
Dani Alexis
7 years ago

I personally don’t think Tofutti tastes like it actually contains soy, but nearly everyone tells me I am wrong about this. So try it at your own risk.

If you like chocolate and almonds together, chocolate Almond Dream is incredible. If not, several of the Rice Dream flavors are pretty good.

blitzgal
7 years ago

Ugh, I just saw that Onion tweet. WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?!

Dragon Slayer
Dragon Slayer
7 years ago

I’d argue that merely existing as a woman in today’s society is akin to staying up all night eating ice cream. I mean, I’m sure it’s nice to have material comfort, emotional validation, and sexual satisfcation bestowed upon you for existing with a vagina, but it doesn’t build much character. This is why men dominate the government, the corporations and most other high-level positions in society. Women’s privilege and consequent laziness stunts their personal development and ruins their self-discipline.

howardbann1ster
7 years ago

….oh, wow. There’s a massive case of headdesk right there.

Plus some inventive time-travel causation.

Are you by any chance a non-linear being? What’s it like to exist with no relationship to cause and effect?

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
7 years ago

Poor little baby dragon, he’s trying so hard to rile people up and all we do is laugh at him. I think he needs some ice cream.

ostara321
ostara321
7 years ago

Viscaria, Rice Dream also makes ice cream. http://www.tastethedream.com/products/rd_frozen.php

katz
7 years ago

He’s a tachyon.

AK
AK
7 years ago

@blitzgal, it was a major fail, but I have to say, they did apologize and it was actually a good, real apology rather than the “sorry you were offended” types people usually give: http://www.slate.com/blogs/the_slatest/2013/02/25/onion_oscars_tweet_horible_joke_about_quvenzhane_wallis_prompts_twitter.html

cloudiah
7 years ago

Just look at all that female privilege in the world today.

princessbonbon
7 years ago

I mean, I’m sure it’s nice to have material comfort, emotional validation, and sexual satisfcation bestowed upon you for existing with a vagina…

It would be nice, is there a form I have to fill out?

BlackBloc (@XBlackBlocX)

There was a time when I was made of money when I would explicitly eat Tofutti not just because I was vegan (though I was) but because I genuinely thought it was better than most ice cream as well.

Sadly, these days I do without Tofutti OR ice cream, though I am no longer vegan.

BlackBloc (@XBlackBlocX)

Though I mostly liked the Tofutti ‘ice cream’ sandwiches.

princessbonbon
7 years ago

According to DS here, all you need to do is get a vagina and you will be all set for all the tofutti and ice cream you could ever want or need.

And it will tell you how awesome you are while you are eating it giving you emotional validation in addition to parking validation.

katz
7 years ago

I’m still working on how to get my vagina to stamp my ticket.

SpleenyBaggage
SpleenyBaggage
7 years ago

I now have a new FB profile pic… thanks Dave!

Also, I found a new fave ice cream flavour last weekend: salted caramel with macadamia nuts. If anyone’s in Sydney anytime soon, swing by Cow & The Moon Gelato in Enmore (no, I do not work for them; yes, I am their biggest fan. And I mean biggest.)

SpleenyBaggage
SpleenyBaggage
7 years ago

@Dragon Slayer: I just snorted OJ through my nose. Thanks for the laughs, you kidder!

titianblue
titianblue
7 years ago

Ronaldo’s in Norfolk makes a flavour called Sicilian kiss. It’s rich coffee & rum ice cream with dark & white chocolate chunks. All natural ingredients. I bought a tub one Christmas & stuck it in my parents’ freezer. Dad had finished it before New Year. It is to die for.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
7 years ago

Here’s a story that shows just how incredibly easy the lives of women and girls are.

http://www.slate.com/blogs/the_slatest/2013/02/14/_9_year_old_mother_mexican_authorities_now_say_child_mother_is_at_least.html?wpisrc=obinsite

The quote that will make you want to cry?

Regardless, it’s clear that no matter the girl’s actual age, her body wasn’t ready to carry a child. According to the Hospital General de Occidente director Enrique Rabago: “Due to her age, her body is not able (or) in the best shape to have a baby.” She gave birth by c-section and, thankfully, both children were in good condition following the procedure.

Viscaria
Viscaria
7 years ago

Oh Arks.

Anyway, thanks for all the suggestions guys! I’ve been becoming less and less able to tolerate lactose. Ice cream is totally off the menu now. I had no idea there was such a wealth of options out there.

titianblue
titianblue
7 years ago

If I concentrate on ice cream, maybe I can stop grinding my teeth at the condescending idiot that is ImissAOL of Reddit.

So, in his opinion, the infantile women are allowed to play at feminism, like overindulged children, making themselves sick with what they think they want but which the real adults, the men, know is bad for them.

Does he actually know any women? Anyone who isn’t a white hetro cis-male, even? And I mean actually know, not saw once across the street ….

WarOfTheNerd
7 years ago

@cloudiah: Privilege isn’t binary. There is no such thing as absolute [insert gender here] privilege. One day MRAs and Feminists need to sit at a table and discuss how unfair the systems (we live in) are on both men and women. Stupid, idiotic comments from that reddit poster does not help the situation, smart people need to sit at a table and rather than wave the banner of [insert a sex-biased ‘ism here] instead think about rectifying the whole crapshoot.

This may sound controversial, that there are infact exist instances of female privilege in the world today but I can give two examples here where as men have been granted unfair privilege, so have women:

Men have the male privilege of obtaining “undesirable” jobs more easily when they are desperate for an income (e.g. there are fewer female bin collectors, far more male brick layers and far more male assembly line workers) – making men less likely to end up homeless due to a lack of income. Women on the other hand have the female privilege in work of still getting 90% of their pay for the first 6 weeks when they are on statutory ordinary maternity pay (then £135.45), while men only receive 2 weeks paid ordinary paternity leave of £135.45, any additional length of pay can only occur if the mother returns to work (bonus points for this privilege screwing both sexes at once when married, it’s a patriarchal fail, but it’s still a female privilege).

Men, depending on the situation, have male privilege in some workplaces whereby the chain of command comprises mostly of men, which makes women less able to freely communicate about issues in the workplace. Women, depending on the situation, have the inherent female privilege caused from being the dominant sex in specific fields across the whole workforce, which makes men less able to freely communicate about issues in the field. For example: “There are just 48 male teachers in state nurseries.” (Source: BBC News, 2011)

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Men have vastly more wealth, property nad power worldwide and you’re whining because of blue-collar jobs? And you really think it’s women who’ve kept men out of schools in the US and many western countries? It’s not women running the school systems, genius. On top of that, teaching is coded as a female job and is lower status and paid less than if it were coded male.

You are right in saying there are different levels of privilege and they intersect, but to suggest that men, overall, are not privileged over women is simply wrong.

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