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And now back to our regularly scheduled post:
Warren Farrell, whose 1993 book The Myth of Male Power essentially set the agenda for the Men’s Rights movement we know (and don’t love) today, did an “Ask Me Anything” on Reddit yesterday.
Most of the questions he chose to answer were pretty much softballs, and his answers largely reiterated things he’s said before many times. But he was also asked some pointed questions about his views on incest which he chose to answer. Well, sort of. Instead of clearing up the issue, he dug his hole a little deeper.
[TRIGGER WARNING for incest/child abuse apologia.]
Some backstory: As longtime readers of this blog know, Farrell spent several years in the 1970s researching a book about incest, which ultimately never appeared. In 1977, Farrell gave an interview to, of all things, Penthouse magazine, in which he tried to explain his “findings” and his views on the topic generally. The interview revealed that Farrell at the time had some exceedingly creepy views on incest and child sexual abuse.
If you haven’t read my post on the subject, going through the interview in detail, I suggest you take a few moments to read it now. (Here’s a transcript of the entire Penthouse article; in my post you can find links to high-quality scans of the original magazine pages – in case anyone still doubts he said what he indeed said.)
In short, Farrell believed there were “positive” aspects to incest that weren’t being talked about because society deemed the topic “taboo.” Indeed, the working title of Farrell’s book was The Last Taboo: The Three Faces of Incest.
In the past, Farrell has been, to say the least, a bit evasive when it comes to clarifying what he meant by some of the most troubling comments in the Penthouse interview, and would seem to prefer that all evidence of his interest in the issue of incest vanish down Orwell’s famous memory hole.
On Reddit, Farrell was presented with a perfect opportunity to set the record straight, both on his views on incest and child sexual abuse generally as well as on a number of specific quotes. (Note: as you’ll see, most of the first quote listed is the Penthouse author’s paraphrase, but the rest are all directly from Farrell.)
In his response, Farrell addresses none of the quotes directly, and his comments raise more questions than they answer.
“Excellent questions,” he says, before going on to answer none of them. Let’s break down his non-answer.
bottom-line, i did this research when my research skills as a new Ph.D. were in the foreground and my raising two daughters was in the future. had i and my wife helped raise two daughters first, the intellectual interest would have evaporated. life teaches; children teach you more. 🙂
He starts off by mentioning his Ph.D., though he doesn’t mention that it was in political science and not psychology. Moreover, his discussions of his research in the Penthouse interview suggest that his methodology was anything but scientific.
His reference to his daughters seems to suggest that if he had had children he would have realized that there really was no “positive” aspect to incest. One might have assumed he would have picked up on this when the overwhelming majority of the women he interviewed “admitted to having negative attitudes toward their incest,” as the Penthouse article delicately puts it.
Farrell ends this paragraph with a smiley, as if the years he spent trying to find examples of “positive” incest were all just a harmless misunderstanding.
now, for some depth. i haven’t published anything on this research because i saw from the article from which you are quoting how easy it was to have the things i said about the way the people i interviewed felt be confused with what i felt.
This is completely disingenuous. It’s not uncommon to find sexual abusers who’ve convinced themselves that the abuse they inflicted upon children was a good thing for their victims, and most people who write about the subject have no problem distinguishing their views from the abusers and abuse apologists they report on.
No, the really disturbing things about Farrell’s interview are the statements in which he expresses his own opinions on the subject. For example, this quote (referenced in the questions on Reddit), in which he describes some of what he evidently sees as the negative aspects of the incest “taboo.”
[M]illions of people … are now refraining from touching, holding, and genitally caressing their children, when that is really a part of a caring, loving expression, are repressing the sexuality of a lot of children and themselves. Maybe this needs repressing, and maybe it doesn’t. My book should at least begin the exploration.
You can see that whole quote in context in the original article here. Farrell now claims that he didn’t say “genitally” but “generally,” though if you replace that one word in that quote it’s scarcely any better.
The Penthouse article also contains this astounding quote from him:
“When I get my most glowing positive cases, 6 out of 200,” says Farrell, “the incest is part of the family’s open, sensual style of life, wherein sex is an outgrowth of warmth and affection. It is more likely that the father has good sex with his wife, and his wife is likely to know and approve — and in one or two cases to join in.”
And this:
“Incest is like a magnifying glass,” he summarizes. “In some circumstances it magnifies the beauty of a relationship, and in others it magnifies the trauma.”
In some circumstances it magnifies the beauty. Farrell gives absolutely no indication here that he is explaining someone else’s views; it seems to be what he himself believes. And until and unless he specifically addresses this quote it is hard to read it any other way.
Let’s go back to Farrell’s “answer.”
i have always been opposed to incest, and still am … .
That’s true, at least to an extent. In the Penthouse article, even though he seems to agree with many of the abusers’ rationalizations for their abuse, he does state specifically that he’s
not recommending incest between parent and child, and especially not between father and daughter.
But then he goes on to say this:
The great majority of fathers can grasp the dynamics of positive incest ‘intellectually’. But in a society that encourages looking at women in almost purely sexual terms, I don’t believe they can translate this understanding into practice.
As far as I can figure it, he’s saying that he’s opposed to father-daughter incest because in today’s sexist society it’s … hard for fathers to do incest properly? If that can be seen as being “opposed to incest” I guess he is opposed. I would love some clarification from Farrell on this point.
Back to Farrell’s answers on Reddit. After sort of, kind of, suggesting maybe his research was a bad idea (in that part above about his daughters) he returns to defending it:
but i was trying to be a good researcher and ask people about their experience without the bias of assuming it was negative or positive.
Really? Seeing abuse as abuse is “bias?” Would you consider it reasonable to study, say, murder, or violent assault, or even someone falling to their death off a mountain “without the bias of assuming it was negative or positive?” Or is it just sexual abuse of young girls and boys that merits such “objectivity?”
And yes, though Farrell now portrays himself as an advocate for both men and boys, he told the Penthouse interviewer that “boys don’t seem to suffer” from sexual abuse — sorry, incest. (That quote is a paraphrase of Farrell’s views from the Penthouse author.)
And then comes this amazing bit, in which he suggests that his interest in challenging the “taboo” of incest was in some ways inspired by the gay liberation movement of the 1970s – because on some level the sexual abuse of children is roughly similar to gay sex between consenting adults?
i had learned this from the misinformation we had gotten about gay people by working from the starting assumption of its dysfunction.
Amazing, just amazing.
You might think that Reddit’s Men’s Rightsers would be appalled by Farrell’s creepy non-answer. Nope. Most of them seem to think he addressed all possible concerns with the issue, with one poster getting dozens of upvotes for suggesting that MRAs bookmark “Dr Farrell’s response to the incest (mis)quote … for easy reference!”
It wasn’t a misquote, and his “response” was worse than no response at all.
The apologies for Farrell’s non-answer aren’t surprising. Other MRAs who are familiar with the interview have also gone to great lengths to explain it away; indeed, one of Farrell’s fans went as far as suggesting that “Penthouse was not always “pornographic” and to characterise it as that is just to demonise and imply that the article as being far more overtly sexual that it was.”
I will repeat what I said last time I wrote about Farrell: if he disagrees with any of my conclusions here, or feels he wishes to clarify or explicitly repudiate anything or everything in the Penthouse article, I’m offering him a chance to explain himself here in a post on this blog — in his own words, unedited.
“So if you admit it’s not sexual, and that it’s about removing emotional distance from parents/children, what’s the beef?”
“Eroticism” is still part of sexuality for me, that’s her who makes a difference.
What’s the beef? People who considers that incest is OK if it’s just “soft incest” and done in order to “remove distance”?
“His beef is that it has to bad so that he can bash feminists over the head with it and call them hypocrites for objecting to Farrell.”
Nope, I globally don’t give a fuck about feminists, I care only when they support totalitarian scrap (what not all of them do, though) and for example, like here, to justify “soft incest”.
You were not obliged to support Dworkins, I know that Dworkins is controversial among feminists, you could easily have condemned what she says like you did for what Farrel has said. You didn’t, not my fault.
Titianblue I think the reason Farrell questions the experiences of the women in his study is that bitchez lie. That is just my laymans explanation though I’m sure if he were to explain it he would say it scientificaly, with enough words to hide his point.
Every time I see a picture of the guy now he looks like a sinister version of Colonel Sanders to me.
“I’m having difficulty understanding what Dworkin is trying to say”
“As for Brz, I generally don’t understand much of anything zie says”
If two channels don’t work, the first thing to do is to check if the television works.
@Brz
If I say that “assault” for me means “covering a consenting adult with butterfly kisses” and then say “I want to assault my boyfriend,” saying that since assault for you means what it generally means anyway and so I must have threatened my boyfriend is wrong. You can claim I’m redefining words, being deliberately hard to understand or any number of other things, but you can’t say I’m being threatening without also being intellectually dishonest.
You are good at that though.
BrzZZZZZT: “Eroticism” is still part of sexuality for me, that’s her who makes a difference.
Oh, so the problem is you don’t actually understand what she’s saying, and are pretending you do, so you can bash feminists.
How droll.
You were not obliged to support Dworkins*, I know that Dworkins is controversial among feminists, you could easily have condemned what she says like you did for what Farrel has said. You didn’t, not my fault.
Except that you aren’t actually asking that (and again, when you are upset, your English improves). What you are asking is that we take your (misreading) as gospel, and condemn her for things she didn’t say.
Why? To make you happy? To stop appease you, in some hope that tossing you a sop will keep you from piling on with the insults and attempts at obloquy?
Like that’s gonna happen.
Nope, I’ll stick with reading her for content, not for shock value, and measuring her ideas, not her diction.
*see this is what we mean about your affectation of poor English. The first time it was, “Andre Dworkin”, now it’s, “Dworkins”. That’s not the sort of mistake a person makes by accident. When a name is misread/misremembered, it’s done consistently. This… is pretense.
Brz:
Me:
Scroll up, brZ-fool.
and now I’m off to work. Have fun while I’m gone.
“Oh, so the problem is you don’t actually understand what she’s saying, and are pretending you do, so you can bash feminists.”
Explain me in which way I haven’t understood her Einstein. I didn’t bashed feminists, feminists aren’t at the center of the world, y’know?
@titianblue
Yeah, “Farrell says extrememly problematic things”, “Dworkin says ambiguous/problematic things”.
Seriously, I absolutely don’t give a fuck : Farrell is the big bad wolf, we go with that, and let’s try to contextualize what Dworkin said. You do it because a Mra have to be the bad guy of the story and I do it because Farrell didn’t got the balls to explain the reasons behind his support of “soft incest”, but Dworkins did, and that’s what interest me, the reasons, the justifications.
@Brz
We’ve already examined the context for Farrell. Be less boring.
Brz: get a fucking Ouija board and ask Dworkin about her justifications, leave us alone.
Farrell’s a weasel, and you’re not-French and sharp as a butterknife. Go away.
Actually, this quote is crap :
“Dworkin, however,…one page earlier characterized what she meant by “erotic relationships” as relationships whose “substance is nonverbal communication and touch,””
The sentence in which she says that :
“The relationship between people and other animals,
when nonpredatory, is always erotic since its substance
is nonverbal communication and touch.”
And some accuse me of intellectual dishonesty…
@Brz
So now you have decided to show us specific sentences you don’t understand. Please don’t be here that long. 🙁
Sorry, dude, if I’m going to provide tutoring services I’m going to have to bill you for them.
Ok, I get that there was a general re questioning of received sexual morality in the 70’s and 80’s, partly in response to the gay rights movement and partly due to the impact of widely available effective contraception meaning fear of pregnancy means people have a lot more sex outside traditional marriage. And both Farrell and Dworkin are part of that re-examination of what is ethical in sexual relationships. So Farrell has a point I think when he says that homosexuality was formerly considered wrong for the wrong reasons, so it was fair enough investigating other sexual taboos. People overreact a lot even now about children being curious about things perceived as sexual, and I think there was a reasonable concern that anti-sex repressiveness and shame is damaging to sexual development.
But practically everyone writing about sexuality seemed to realise that what really matters is consent though and that children can’t meaningfully consent to their parents, even if they are late teens or adults. What worries me about Farrell is that he actually can see this, and that he can specifically see that daughter-father relationships have a fucked up power dynamic, but he wanted to weasel around it. If one person in a relationship thinks its a negative relationship it’s a negative relationship whatever the other one thinks. Just like breaking up with someone doesn’t need to be a mutual decision.
The Myth of Male Power still makes me think he knows what consent and choice is, but wants to weasel his way around it. Having to look after the kids and losing income because of it gives women the choice to not participate in the male rat race, lucky women, but men have no choice but to work overlong hours because they have no choice but to buy stuff for women.
Dworkin wrote obscurely and melodramatically but mostly seemed to think that an unequal society meant women couldn’t really fully consent to sex at all. She might have said some silly stuff but she was completely on the other side of the sex wars from Farrell, and unlike him didn’t suggesting fucking your kids is a potentially positive experience for you and that trumps what the kids think.
Why is Brz even pretending to be French? For the practice?
Brz, allow me to clarify since your understanding of English appears to vary depending on whether or not you agree with someone:
Dworkin channel – fuzzy, but I can tell what program is on.
Brz channel – is that golf or the second coming of Cthulhu?
All other channels – excellent reception.
Considering how many fucks you have claimed not to give in this thread, why are you here in the first place? And why, considering how many times in the last few days you have been invited to stop offering your opinions, which are unwanted and largely inappropriate for and irrelevant to this blog, are you still here?
@SaltPickles
I like your summation.
ellex24, I like yours!
Mainly for practicing English, because I don’t practice enough : I’ve managed to live in an English-speaking country speaking French most of the time. Also because I’ve always used other people’s blogs to organize my thoughts and confront them to other people’s thoughts. This place is indeed not a good place to do that, but I try to force myself because, yeah, I really need to learn English and I haven’t found yet an another less boring place to do it.
My contribution to this post wasn’t so irrelevant, though.
English tutoring services will be $30 per hour. Either pay up or say bye bye.
Brz –
The internet is full of excellent places to practice English where you will be welcomed with open arms. An attempt to find a community which is interested in medieval Arabic literature, perhaps, rather than a pro-feminist blog specifically aimed at mocking misogyny, where you have offered opinions that have not been welcomed?
There’s not being bored, and then there’s trolling. I will give you the benefit of the doubt and inform you that you are skating dangerously close to the second.
Danke and grazie, deezers!