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MRA founding father Warren Farrell responds to questions about his incest research with evasive non-answers. And a smiley.

Watch out: He has a Ph.D!
Watch out: He has a Ph.D!

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And now back to our regularly scheduled post:

Warren Farrell, whose 1993 book The Myth of Male Power essentially set the agenda for the Men’s Rights movement we know (and don’t love) today, did an “Ask Me Anything” on Reddit yesterday.

Most of the questions he chose to answer were pretty much softballs, and his answers largely reiterated things he’s said before many times. But he was also asked some pointed questions about his views on incest which he chose to answer. Well, sort of. Instead of clearing up the issue, he dug his hole a little deeper.

[TRIGGER WARNING for incest/child abuse apologia.]

Some backstory: As longtime readers of this blog know, Farrell spent several years in the 1970s researching a book about incest, which ultimately never appeared. In 1977, Farrell gave an interview to, of all things, Penthouse magazine, in which he tried to explain his “findings” and his views on the topic generally. The interview revealed that Farrell at the time had some exceedingly creepy views on incest and child sexual abuse.

If you haven’t read my post on the subject, going through the interview in detail, I suggest you take a few moments to read it now. (Here’s a transcript of the entire Penthouse article; in my post you can find links to high-quality scans of the original magazine pages – in case anyone still doubts he said what he indeed said.)

In short, Farrell believed there were “positive” aspects to incest that weren’t being talked about because society deemed the topic “taboo.” Indeed, the working title of Farrell’s book was The Last Taboo: The Three Faces of Incest.

In the past, Farrell has been, to say the least, a bit evasive when it comes to clarifying what he meant by some of the most troubling comments in the Penthouse interview, and would seem to prefer that all evidence of his interest in the issue of incest vanish down Orwell’s famous memory hole.

On Reddit, Farrell was presented with a perfect opportunity to set the record straight, both on his views on incest and child sexual abuse generally as well as on a number of specific quotes. (Note: as you’ll see, most of the first quote listed is the Penthouse author’s paraphrase, but the rest are all directly from Farrell.)

RDwfQuest

In his response, Farrell addresses none of the quotes directly, and his comments raise more questions than they answer.

RDwfAns

“Excellent questions,” he says, before going on to answer none of them. Let’s break down his non-answer.

bottom-line, i did this research when my research skills as a new Ph.D. were in the foreground and my raising two daughters was in the future. had i and my wife helped raise two daughters first, the intellectual interest would have evaporated. life teaches; children teach you more. 🙂

He starts off by mentioning his Ph.D., though he doesn’t mention that it was in political science and not psychology. Moreover, his discussions of his research in the Penthouse interview suggest that his methodology was anything but scientific.

His reference to his daughters seems to suggest that if he had had children he would have realized that there really was no “positive” aspect to incest. One might have assumed he would have picked up on this when the overwhelming majority of the women he interviewed “admitted to having negative attitudes toward their incest,” as the Penthouse article delicately puts it.

Farrell ends this paragraph with a smiley, as if the years he spent trying to find examples of “positive” incest were all just a harmless misunderstanding.

now, for some depth. i haven’t published anything on this research because i saw from the article from which you are quoting how easy it was to have the things i said about the way the people i interviewed felt be confused with what i felt.

This is completely disingenuous. It’s not uncommon to find sexual abusers who’ve convinced themselves that the abuse they inflicted upon children was a good thing for their victims, and most people who write about the subject have no problem distinguishing their views from the abusers and abuse apologists they report on.

No, the really disturbing things about Farrell’s interview are the statements in which he expresses his own opinions on the subject. For example, this quote (referenced in the questions on Reddit), in which he describes some of what he evidently sees as the negative aspects of the incest “taboo.”

[M]illions of people … are now refraining from touching, holding, and genitally caressing their children, when that is really a part of a caring, loving expression, are repressing the sexuality of a lot of children and themselves. Maybe this needs repressing, and maybe it doesn’t. My book should at least begin the exploration.

You can see that whole quote in context in the original article here. Farrell now claims that he didn’t say “genitally” but “generally,” though if you replace that one word in that quote it’s scarcely any better.

The Penthouse article also contains this astounding quote from him:

“When I get my most glowing positive cases, 6 out of 200,” says Farrell, “the incest is part of the family’s open, sensual style of life, wherein sex is an outgrowth of warmth and affection. It is more likely that the father has good sex with his wife, and his wife is likely to know and approve — and in one or two cases to join in.”

And this:

“Incest is like a magnifying glass,” he summarizes. “In some circumstances it magnifies the beauty of a relationship, and in others it magnifies the trauma.”

In some circumstances it magnifies the beauty. Farrell gives absolutely no indication here that he is explaining someone else’s views; it seems to be what he himself believes. And until and unless he specifically addresses this quote it is hard to read it any other way.

Let’s go back to Farrell’s “answer.”

i have always been opposed to incest, and still am … .

That’s true, at least to an extent. In the Penthouse article, even though he seems to agree with many of the abusers’ rationalizations for their abuse, he does state specifically that he’s

not recommending incest between parent and child, and especially not between father and daughter.

But then he goes on to say this:

The great majority of fathers can grasp the dynamics of positive incest ‘intellectually’. But in a society that encourages looking at women in almost purely sexual terms, I don’t believe they can translate this understanding into practice.

As far as I can figure it, he’s saying that he’s opposed to father-daughter incest because in today’s sexist society it’s … hard for fathers to do incest properly?  If that can be seen as being “opposed to incest” I guess he is opposed. I would love some clarification from Farrell on this point.

Back to Farrell’s answers on Reddit. After sort of, kind of, suggesting maybe his research was a bad idea (in that part above about his daughters) he returns to defending it:

but i was trying to be a good researcher and ask people about their experience without the bias of assuming it was negative or positive.

Really? Seeing abuse as abuse is “bias?” Would you consider it reasonable to study, say, murder, or violent assault, or even someone falling to their death off a mountain “without the bias of assuming it was negative or positive?” Or is it just sexual abuse of young girls and boys that merits such “objectivity?”

And yes, though Farrell now portrays himself as an advocate for both men and boys, he told the Penthouse interviewer that “boys don’t seem to suffer” from sexual abuse — sorry, incest. (That quote is a paraphrase of Farrell’s views from the Penthouse author.)

And then comes this amazing bit, in which he suggests that his interest in challenging the “taboo” of incest was in some ways inspired by the gay liberation movement of the 1970s – because on some level the sexual abuse of children is roughly similar to gay sex between consenting adults?

i had learned this from the misinformation we had gotten about gay people by working from the starting assumption of its dysfunction.

Amazing, just amazing.

You might think that Reddit’s Men’s Rightsers would be appalled by Farrell’s creepy non-answer. Nope. Most of them seem to think he addressed all possible concerns with the issue, with one poster getting dozens of upvotes for suggesting that MRAs bookmark “Dr Farrell’s response to the incest (mis)quote …  for easy reference!”

It wasn’t a misquote, and his “response” was worse than no response at all.

The apologies for Farrell’s non-answer aren’t surprising. Other MRAs who are familiar with the interview have also gone to great lengths to explain it away; indeed,  one of Farrell’s fans went as far as suggesting that “Penthouse was not always “pornographic” and to characterise it as that is just to demonise and imply that the article as being far more overtly sexual that it was.”

I will repeat what I said last time I wrote about Farrell: if he disagrees with any of my conclusions here, or feels he wishes to clarify or explicitly repudiate anything or everything in the Penthouse article, I’m offering him a chance to explain himself here in a post on this blog — in his own words, unedited.

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The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
11 years ago

Whoa, lowquacks, cool photo!

Now who else was it here (as well as me, I mean) who admitted, when you first mentioned you’d had long hair and a generally rather Inigo Montoya look, that they’d have probably ended up being Weird Lady Freaking You Out By Staring on the street? ::retires to corner of shame again::

What did you use to curl the end of the ‘tache, if you don’t mind me asking? Wax? Gel? My SiL used to spend half an hour waxing his into sumbission every morning and he had the skinniest sub-Ronald Coleman moustache then, I can’t fathom why it needed that much work. Unless it was prone to curl, of course. 😛

goodrumo
11 years ago

Reblogged this on iheariseeilearn.

lowquacks
lowquacks
11 years ago

Argenti, I think. I used a hairpaste of some sort from Aldi later on, but I think at the time I was using some “super-hold” gel left over from my brother’s mohawk years ago. Slightly dried-out, which helped a lot – I rolled it between my fingers. It worked perfectly – I had some moustache wax but it was greasy and awful and didn’t work. Still took bloody ages to get symmetrical, though.

I think I had the same problem as your son-in-law – moustache waxes are made for older men with proper mos to curl. Mine tended/tends to curl away from my face, rather than up, if twirl, and that had to be corrected/trained away.

I still have a long moustache at the ends but not the middle, but in the context of a full beard. A lot easier to handle – shave bits that poke out on the cheek or neck about once a week, cut the middle of the mo back every now and again, trim sides and bottom every once in a while, and that’s it.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
11 years ago

melody – because they don’t actually give a damn? These are the same guys who whine about the age of consent being the outrageous level of sixteen, or whatever it is, and whose core complaint is not being able to shove their dicks into whoever they want, whenever they want, however they want, and all the better if the other person doesn’t want it.

Plus, no doubt, they like his whole “women enjoy sex with their fathers and those who say otherwise are lying” line. It plays perfectly into their attitudes.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
11 years ago

Low-maintenance is always good with hair! 😀 That’s what I like about my current ‘do (well, one of the things) – minimal attention needed, especially after the Great Hair Advice thread here a few weeks back.

This is SiL’s high-maintenance effort.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
11 years ago

Gah. Why do I keep calling the stepsons SiL? I have an SiL but he doesn’t wear a ‘tache anyway. Purple velour jumpsuits yes, facial hair no. I should just do the French thing and say beau-fils, it means stepson or SiL and avoids the *cough* difficulty *cough* of getting it right.

lowquacks
lowquacks
11 years ago

That looks more an example of a lazy painter than anything else, really.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
11 years ago

LOL!

Tulgey Logger
Tulgey Logger
11 years ago

Ew, I can’t imagine being focused on by someone like GGG. That’s so creepy.

I was starting to suspect that sonichu was GGG based on the parts of the Sonichu comic I read, as well as their brief focus on David’s “virgin shaming” before they finally fizzled. That CWC guy is in the same league as GGG, albeit nowhere near as bad.

@David, I’m looking forward to you writing about The Myth of Male Power. That book sounds like a pile of craptastity even from Farrell’s own summary.

Speaking of writings about TMOMP, does anyone know of any thorough critiques of that book? I don’t have the time to read the whole book myself, but I want to know more.

BigMomma
BigMomma
11 years ago

I started reading TMOMP in the late 90s as a course book for the (elective) Masculinities module I did as part of my (unfinished) MSc in Women’s Studies. I never finished the book either and have expunged it from my mind, I am left only with a lingering memory of WTF?

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

That’s so weird, that a racist would fixate on a group of people that they have no contact with at all. Then again, GGG seems to be determined to be awful to as many groups of people as possible, so he was probably excited to find new ones to add to his list.

lowquacks
lowquacks
11 years ago

Racism’s pretty monkey-see monkey-do, though. I’d bet a lot of people claiming a Jewish conspiracy don’t come into contact with Jews much.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

I guess I’m just confused as to how people outside the US would even know enough about the political climate here to spout off the same rhetoric about Hispanic people. Yay, internet, it’s helping to spread such lovely ideas.

BigMomma
BigMomma
11 years ago

The blogs that GGG links to would probably provide info and click through for him to parrot shit.

Jessay (@jessay)
11 years ago

As for the original topic I still can’t believe MRAs can overlook this stuff. The whole bit about taking the father’s word on incest being positive over the daughter’s. Ugh. Sickening.

Brz
Brz
11 years ago

What this guy said reminded me of what Andre Dworkins said about incest :

“The incest taboo, because it denies us essential fulfillment with the parents whom we love with our primary energy, forces us to internalize those parents and constantly seek them. The incest taboo does the worst work of the culture … The destruction of the incest taboo is essential to the development of cooperative human community based on the free-flow of natural androgynous eroticism.”
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andrea_Dworkin#Incest

Speaking about seeking parents, she was placing the nostalgia for her mother’s womb as a meaning of her lesbianism :

“Third, being a lesbian means to me the memory of the mother, remembered in my own body, sought for, desired, found, and truly honored. It means the memory of the womb, when we were one with our mothers, until birth when we were torn asunder. It means a return to that place inside, inside her, inside ourselves, to the tissues and membranes, to the moisture and blood.”
http://www.nostatusquo.com/ACLU/dworkin/OurBloodII.html

When Warren Farrell says that “incest is part of the family’s open, sensual style of life, wherein sex is an outgrowth of warmth and affection”, Andre Dworkins says she want to return into the womb where she was one with mommy.
When Warren Farrell says that fathers should not do “the positive incest” with their daughters because they are not able to translate into practice “the dynamics of positive incest” because of sexism, Andrea Dworkins says that we have to destroy the incest taboo in order to establish a “cooperative human community based on the free-flow of natural androgynous eroticism”.

Incest is the final step to accomplish the “sameness harmony”, the perfect society where everybody is equal because everybody is the same.
Who wants that? Who works for that without being conscious about that?
This shit goes far beyond the feminists/mras little battle.

titianblue
titianblue
11 years ago

Brz, nice selective commenting. I too can read wiki:

Quote from the her 1974 writing and ignore what comes next:

Dworkin, however,…one page earlier characterized what she meant by “erotic relationships” as relationships whose “substance is nonverbal communication and touch,” which she explicitly distinguished from what she referred to as “fucking.

And then:

Dworkin’s work from the early 1980s onward contained frequent condemnations of incest and pedophilia as one of the chief forms of violence against women, arguing once that “Incest is terrifically important in understanding the condition of women. It is a crime committed against someone, a crime from which many victims never recover.”

Possibly not quite as pro-incest as you try to imply?

titianblue
titianblue
11 years ago

Opps, that should be “You quote from”, the “you” being Brz.

titianblue
titianblue
11 years ago

And I would strongly disagree that

“Third, being a lesbian means to me the memory of the mother, remembered in my own body, sought for, desired, found, and truly honored. It means the memory of the womb, when we were one with our mothers, until birth when we were torn asunder. It means a return to that place inside, inside her, inside ourselves, to the tissues and membranes, to the moisture and blood.”

Is either “nostalgia for her mother’s womb” or incestous. Excuse me while I go wash the taste of your banal phrasing out of my mouth.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

When all you have is a hammer, all you see are nails. When you’re a horrible person, you read something like the Dworkin quote above and think “well obviously she wanted to fuck her mom”.

I mean, those passages are much too heavy on the woo for me, and I tend to roll my eyes at that kind of language (I think it’s partly a generational thing – I’m Gen X, we’re just too snarky for that kind of stuff to resonate with a lot of us), but a wish to fuck mommy it is not.

John-H
John-H
11 years ago

Am I the only one who gets the impression that his change of opinion came about when he had kids, because he realised that a guy who thinks there are some positive aspects to incest is going to get some serious side eye* when raising his own kids?

*I hope I am using that phrase right.

titianblue
titianblue
11 years ago

So let’s see.

Dworkin says ambiguous/problematic things on incest in the ’70s then frequently clarifies in the ’80s that she condemns incest.

Farrell says extrememly problematic things on incest in the ’70s, fails to condemn incest in the ’80s, the ’90s, the ’00s … and, given a chance to clarify in the ’10s, ducks out.

Yep, identical faults and attitudes there … (not).

titianblue
titianblue
11 years ago

@John-H, no you are not the only one getting that impression, at least in part.