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And now back to our regularly scheduled post:
Warren Farrell, whose 1993 book The Myth of Male Power essentially set the agenda for the Men’s Rights movement we know (and don’t love) today, did an “Ask Me Anything” on Reddit yesterday.
Most of the questions he chose to answer were pretty much softballs, and his answers largely reiterated things he’s said before many times. But he was also asked some pointed questions about his views on incest which he chose to answer. Well, sort of. Instead of clearing up the issue, he dug his hole a little deeper.
[TRIGGER WARNING for incest/child abuse apologia.]
Some backstory: As longtime readers of this blog know, Farrell spent several years in the 1970s researching a book about incest, which ultimately never appeared. In 1977, Farrell gave an interview to, of all things, Penthouse magazine, in which he tried to explain his “findings” and his views on the topic generally. The interview revealed that Farrell at the time had some exceedingly creepy views on incest and child sexual abuse.
If you haven’t read my post on the subject, going through the interview in detail, I suggest you take a few moments to read it now. (Here’s a transcript of the entire Penthouse article; in my post you can find links to high-quality scans of the original magazine pages – in case anyone still doubts he said what he indeed said.)
In short, Farrell believed there were “positive” aspects to incest that weren’t being talked about because society deemed the topic “taboo.” Indeed, the working title of Farrell’s book was The Last Taboo: The Three Faces of Incest.
In the past, Farrell has been, to say the least, a bit evasive when it comes to clarifying what he meant by some of the most troubling comments in the Penthouse interview, and would seem to prefer that all evidence of his interest in the issue of incest vanish down Orwell’s famous memory hole.
On Reddit, Farrell was presented with a perfect opportunity to set the record straight, both on his views on incest and child sexual abuse generally as well as on a number of specific quotes. (Note: as you’ll see, most of the first quote listed is the Penthouse author’s paraphrase, but the rest are all directly from Farrell.)
In his response, Farrell addresses none of the quotes directly, and his comments raise more questions than they answer.
“Excellent questions,” he says, before going on to answer none of them. Let’s break down his non-answer.
bottom-line, i did this research when my research skills as a new Ph.D. were in the foreground and my raising two daughters was in the future. had i and my wife helped raise two daughters first, the intellectual interest would have evaporated. life teaches; children teach you more. 🙂
He starts off by mentioning his Ph.D., though he doesn’t mention that it was in political science and not psychology. Moreover, his discussions of his research in the Penthouse interview suggest that his methodology was anything but scientific.
His reference to his daughters seems to suggest that if he had had children he would have realized that there really was no “positive” aspect to incest. One might have assumed he would have picked up on this when the overwhelming majority of the women he interviewed “admitted to having negative attitudes toward their incest,” as the Penthouse article delicately puts it.
Farrell ends this paragraph with a smiley, as if the years he spent trying to find examples of “positive” incest were all just a harmless misunderstanding.
now, for some depth. i haven’t published anything on this research because i saw from the article from which you are quoting how easy it was to have the things i said about the way the people i interviewed felt be confused with what i felt.
This is completely disingenuous. It’s not uncommon to find sexual abusers who’ve convinced themselves that the abuse they inflicted upon children was a good thing for their victims, and most people who write about the subject have no problem distinguishing their views from the abusers and abuse apologists they report on.
No, the really disturbing things about Farrell’s interview are the statements in which he expresses his own opinions on the subject. For example, this quote (referenced in the questions on Reddit), in which he describes some of what he evidently sees as the negative aspects of the incest “taboo.”
[M]illions of people … are now refraining from touching, holding, and genitally caressing their children, when that is really a part of a caring, loving expression, are repressing the sexuality of a lot of children and themselves. Maybe this needs repressing, and maybe it doesn’t. My book should at least begin the exploration.
You can see that whole quote in context in the original article here. Farrell now claims that he didn’t say “genitally” but “generally,” though if you replace that one word in that quote it’s scarcely any better.
The Penthouse article also contains this astounding quote from him:
“When I get my most glowing positive cases, 6 out of 200,” says Farrell, “the incest is part of the family’s open, sensual style of life, wherein sex is an outgrowth of warmth and affection. It is more likely that the father has good sex with his wife, and his wife is likely to know and approve — and in one or two cases to join in.”
And this:
“Incest is like a magnifying glass,” he summarizes. “In some circumstances it magnifies the beauty of a relationship, and in others it magnifies the trauma.”
In some circumstances it magnifies the beauty. Farrell gives absolutely no indication here that he is explaining someone else’s views; it seems to be what he himself believes. And until and unless he specifically addresses this quote it is hard to read it any other way.
Let’s go back to Farrell’s “answer.”
i have always been opposed to incest, and still am … .
That’s true, at least to an extent. In the Penthouse article, even though he seems to agree with many of the abusers’ rationalizations for their abuse, he does state specifically that he’s
not recommending incest between parent and child, and especially not between father and daughter.
But then he goes on to say this:
The great majority of fathers can grasp the dynamics of positive incest ‘intellectually’. But in a society that encourages looking at women in almost purely sexual terms, I don’t believe they can translate this understanding into practice.
As far as I can figure it, he’s saying that he’s opposed to father-daughter incest because in today’s sexist society it’s … hard for fathers to do incest properly?  If that can be seen as being “opposed to incest” I guess he is opposed. I would love some clarification from Farrell on this point.
Back to Farrell’s answers on Reddit. After sort of, kind of, suggesting maybe his research was a bad idea (in that part above about his daughters) he returns to defending it:
but i was trying to be a good researcher and ask people about their experience without the bias of assuming it was negative or positive.
Really? Seeing abuse as abuse is “bias?” Would you consider it reasonable to study, say, murder, or violent assault, or even someone falling to their death off a mountain “without the bias of assuming it was negative or positive?” Or is it just sexual abuse of young girls and boys that merits such “objectivity?”
And yes, though Farrell now portrays himself as an advocate for both men and boys, he told the Penthouse interviewer that “boys don’t seem to suffer” from sexual abuse — sorry, incest. (That quote is a paraphrase of Farrell’s views from the Penthouse author.)
And then comes this amazing bit, in which he suggests that his interest in challenging the “taboo” of incest was in some ways inspired by the gay liberation movement of the 1970s – because on some level the sexual abuse of children is roughly similar to gay sex between consenting adults?
i had learned this from the misinformation we had gotten about gay people by working from the starting assumption of its dysfunction.
Amazing, just amazing.
You might think that Reddit’s Men’s Rightsers would be appalled by Farrell’s creepy non-answer. Nope. Most of them seem to think he addressed all possible concerns with the issue, with one poster getting dozens of upvotes for suggesting that MRAs bookmark “Dr Farrell’s response to the incest (mis)quote …  for easy reference!”
It wasn’t a misquote, and his “response” was worse than no response at all.
The apologies for Farrell’s non-answer aren’t surprising. Other MRAs who are familiar with the interview have also gone to great lengths to explain it away; indeed,  one of Farrell’s fans went as far as suggesting that “Penthouse was not always “pornographic” and to characterise it as that is just to demonise and imply that the article as being far more overtly sexual that it was.”
I will repeat what I said last time I wrote about Farrell: if he disagrees with any of my conclusions here, or feels he wishes to clarify or explicitly repudiate anything or everything in the Penthouse article, I’m offering him a chance to explain himself here in a post on this blog — in his own words, unedited.
Yeah, (thankfully) it’s probably a stretch to get the other reading. These guys just already stretch my notions of reasonable-people-ethics so far that it’s hard to imagine what the new boundaries might be…
i have to say that the distinct sense i get from mr. farrell is that he views children as property of their fathers. what would be considered sex abuse and statutory rape if any other man had done it, but as the father he can do it to them because they are HIS children. i am positive if any other man had violated HIS children/property in such a way, he would be outraged. he is not arguing that it is healthy for children to be sexually active and we are repressing their free sexuality – he is arguing that fathers, and only fathers, should be exempted from laws prohibiting sexual activity with children because they are the child’s father.
I guess I’m in the minority here; I’m actually willing to suggest that changing “genitally” to “generally” changes the tone of that statement, and I’m willing to give him the benefit of the doubt (for the sake of my faith in humanity that no-one would actually express that out loud)
… except for the “3% of all cases are glowingly positive” and the whole idea of trying to find positive solutions to balance the bad. I get the scientific value of looking without bias at terrible things, but when the data comes back to confirm that this is an overwhelmingly terrible thing, and your first instinct is to seek out more positive samples to balance that, YOU FAIL SCIENCE FOREVER!!!!!
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to have another beer and try to scrub the awful out in a nice hot shower.
also wondering: who was the lunatic who thought it would be a good idea to have kids with this guy?
I’m so glad to know that when I get my PhD in political science I’ll be officially qualified (by MRA standards) to be a psychology researcher, and to mention I’m a PhD several times when discussing my research unrelated to my field.
I knew it was a good career choice.
The context of the quote makes much more sense with “generally” than “genitally”. I think some skeezy penthouse reporter was having a bit of fun.
I do think it undermines the case against Farrell to focus so much on a decades old article in a disreputable publication – relative to say a book or academic journal, and think critics should focus on the current stuff he spews…
@aim33
If it was something that he was willing to say he was wrong and apologize for, I might agree with you. Without an apology, though? What should the statute of limitations be on saying horrible things? I would think, at bare minimum, it should be until you apologize, however long that takes you. It sets a bad precedent to just start ignoring horrible things attract an arbitrary amount of time. How long? Who decides? Do we wait until the people hurt by the horrible thing are okay with it or will that take too long?
We can both talk about newer things and not forget the past. This does both. It is question about his past that reveals he is still horrid.
Except that
a) this actually was a recent thing (the AMA response)
b) he really hasn’t repudiated anything.
He could have said something like: “It was the 70’s, we were re-examining sexuality as a society and I decided to look into this. I got overly enamoured with the maverick position, and said some stupid things to try and build the contrary case. Having kids of my own I realized the harm that could result from taking such an untenable position, and abandoned the project as a bad idea.”
Hell, it’s not even an apology, but it would at least show some frikken growth and reflection since then.
*goes back to his Wellington County Dark Ale.
I accept that Farrell said “generally,” but I don’t think that saves the quote. The statement implies that a parent caressing their child is an expression of the parent’s sexuality. That seems incredibly inappropriate to me, and that’s probably what plausibly allowed the writer (whether by accident or purposefully) to change it to “genitally.”
Warren Farrell, the Freud for the 21st century. Thanks!
Tulgey:
… oh shit. You’re right. I glossed over the phrase “and themselves.” Ick, I take that first paragraph back, the word substitution doesn’t save it at all.
The statement is about repressing sexuality, of parent and child. Changing the term to generally makes it worse in my opinion. It sexualizes all physical contact between parent and child and there is just no way you can uncreep this d00d.
My reaction to this done by pugs:
How is the pledge drive doing David?
This guy is really the icing on the MRA cake. And by “icing” I mean shit stain, and by “cake” I mean churning cesspool of hatred and bile.
Also: Farrell. You aren’t ee cummings. CAPITALIZE YOUR SHIT. At least let’s have your defense of child abuse be grammatically correct!
anyone lived in a pretty how town
where miniskirt power upped their downs
and cleavage control ruled nobody
and nobody had no power because he’s a dude
Reblogged this on respectsexwork.
I originally was going to say that the change of words helped it, but yeah. After rereading it I have to agree that it doesn’t get better. I missed the part about sexual expression so I was just misreading it.
And after a quick google search … wait, this is the guy that coined many of the terms that mras cling to like “disposable sex” … that doesn’t overly surprise me. I had a feeling that the semi-academic arguments i’d heard came from someone with poor research skills.
e. e. tulgey, I know that’s you, you scamp.
who is this “tulgey” person?
i am not familiar with the manboobz
my name is mikaela varpoala
next of course to god america i
am a writer deeply aggrieveded by misandry
That’s some lovely blank verse.
Also OH GOD DREW IS OUR NEW RUBYCOLVIN OH NOOOOOO
i luv u tulgey
how u like dem apples
mr death?