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MRA founding father Warren Farrell responds to questions about his incest research with evasive non-answers. And a smiley.

Watch out: He has a Ph.D!
Watch out: He has a Ph.D!

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And now back to our regularly scheduled post:

Warren Farrell, whose 1993 book The Myth of Male Power essentially set the agenda for the Men’s Rights movement we know (and don’t love) today, did an “Ask Me Anything” on Reddit yesterday.

Most of the questions he chose to answer were pretty much softballs, and his answers largely reiterated things he’s said before many times. But he was also asked some pointed questions about his views on incest which he chose to answer. Well, sort of. Instead of clearing up the issue, he dug his hole a little deeper.

[TRIGGER WARNING for incest/child abuse apologia.]

Some backstory: As longtime readers of this blog know, Farrell spent several years in the 1970s researching a book about incest, which ultimately never appeared. In 1977, Farrell gave an interview to, of all things, Penthouse magazine, in which he tried to explain his “findings” and his views on the topic generally. The interview revealed that Farrell at the time had some exceedingly creepy views on incest and child sexual abuse.

If you haven’t read my post on the subject, going through the interview in detail, I suggest you take a few moments to read it now. (Here’s a transcript of the entire Penthouse article; in my post you can find links to high-quality scans of the original magazine pages – in case anyone still doubts he said what he indeed said.)

In short, Farrell believed there were “positive” aspects to incest that weren’t being talked about because society deemed the topic “taboo.” Indeed, the working title of Farrell’s book was The Last Taboo: The Three Faces of Incest.

In the past, Farrell has been, to say the least, a bit evasive when it comes to clarifying what he meant by some of the most troubling comments in the Penthouse interview, and would seem to prefer that all evidence of his interest in the issue of incest vanish down Orwell’s famous memory hole.

On Reddit, Farrell was presented with a perfect opportunity to set the record straight, both on his views on incest and child sexual abuse generally as well as on a number of specific quotes. (Note: as you’ll see, most of the first quote listed is the Penthouse author’s paraphrase, but the rest are all directly from Farrell.)

RDwfQuest

In his response, Farrell addresses none of the quotes directly, and his comments raise more questions than they answer.

RDwfAns

“Excellent questions,” he says, before going on to answer none of them. Let’s break down his non-answer.

bottom-line, i did this research when my research skills as a new Ph.D. were in the foreground and my raising two daughters was in the future. had i and my wife helped raise two daughters first, the intellectual interest would have evaporated. life teaches; children teach you more. 🙂

He starts off by mentioning his Ph.D., though he doesn’t mention that it was in political science and not psychology. Moreover, his discussions of his research in the Penthouse interview suggest that his methodology was anything but scientific.

His reference to his daughters seems to suggest that if he had had children he would have realized that there really was no “positive” aspect to incest. One might have assumed he would have picked up on this when the overwhelming majority of the women he interviewed “admitted to having negative attitudes toward their incest,” as the Penthouse article delicately puts it.

Farrell ends this paragraph with a smiley, as if the years he spent trying to find examples of “positive” incest were all just a harmless misunderstanding.

now, for some depth. i haven’t published anything on this research because i saw from the article from which you are quoting how easy it was to have the things i said about the way the people i interviewed felt be confused with what i felt.

This is completely disingenuous. It’s not uncommon to find sexual abusers who’ve convinced themselves that the abuse they inflicted upon children was a good thing for their victims, and most people who write about the subject have no problem distinguishing their views from the abusers and abuse apologists they report on.

No, the really disturbing things about Farrell’s interview are the statements in which he expresses his own opinions on the subject. For example, this quote (referenced in the questions on Reddit), in which he describes some of what he evidently sees as the negative aspects of the incest “taboo.”

[M]illions of people … are now refraining from touching, holding, and genitally caressing their children, when that is really a part of a caring, loving expression, are repressing the sexuality of a lot of children and themselves. Maybe this needs repressing, and maybe it doesn’t. My book should at least begin the exploration.

You can see that whole quote in context in the original article here. Farrell now claims that he didn’t say “genitally” but “generally,” though if you replace that one word in that quote it’s scarcely any better.

The Penthouse article also contains this astounding quote from him:

“When I get my most glowing positive cases, 6 out of 200,” says Farrell, “the incest is part of the family’s open, sensual style of life, wherein sex is an outgrowth of warmth and affection. It is more likely that the father has good sex with his wife, and his wife is likely to know and approve — and in one or two cases to join in.”

And this:

“Incest is like a magnifying glass,” he summarizes. “In some circumstances it magnifies the beauty of a relationship, and in others it magnifies the trauma.”

In some circumstances it magnifies the beauty. Farrell gives absolutely no indication here that he is explaining someone else’s views; it seems to be what he himself believes. And until and unless he specifically addresses this quote it is hard to read it any other way.

Let’s go back to Farrell’s “answer.”

i have always been opposed to incest, and still am … .

That’s true, at least to an extent. In the Penthouse article, even though he seems to agree with many of the abusers’ rationalizations for their abuse, he does state specifically that he’s

not recommending incest between parent and child, and especially not between father and daughter.

But then he goes on to say this:

The great majority of fathers can grasp the dynamics of positive incest ‘intellectually’. But in a society that encourages looking at women in almost purely sexual terms, I don’t believe they can translate this understanding into practice.

As far as I can figure it, he’s saying that he’s opposed to father-daughter incest because in today’s sexist society it’s … hard for fathers to do incest properly?  If that can be seen as being “opposed to incest” I guess he is opposed. I would love some clarification from Farrell on this point.

Back to Farrell’s answers on Reddit. After sort of, kind of, suggesting maybe his research was a bad idea (in that part above about his daughters) he returns to defending it:

but i was trying to be a good researcher and ask people about their experience without the bias of assuming it was negative or positive.

Really? Seeing abuse as abuse is “bias?” Would you consider it reasonable to study, say, murder, or violent assault, or even someone falling to their death off a mountain “without the bias of assuming it was negative or positive?” Or is it just sexual abuse of young girls and boys that merits such “objectivity?”

And yes, though Farrell now portrays himself as an advocate for both men and boys, he told the Penthouse interviewer that “boys don’t seem to suffer” from sexual abuse — sorry, incest. (That quote is a paraphrase of Farrell’s views from the Penthouse author.)

And then comes this amazing bit, in which he suggests that his interest in challenging the “taboo” of incest was in some ways inspired by the gay liberation movement of the 1970s – because on some level the sexual abuse of children is roughly similar to gay sex between consenting adults?

i had learned this from the misinformation we had gotten about gay people by working from the starting assumption of its dysfunction.

Amazing, just amazing.

You might think that Reddit’s Men’s Rightsers would be appalled by Farrell’s creepy non-answer. Nope. Most of them seem to think he addressed all possible concerns with the issue, with one poster getting dozens of upvotes for suggesting that MRAs bookmark “Dr Farrell’s response to the incest (mis)quote …  for easy reference!”

It wasn’t a misquote, and his “response” was worse than no response at all.

The apologies for Farrell’s non-answer aren’t surprising. Other MRAs who are familiar with the interview have also gone to great lengths to explain it away; indeed,  one of Farrell’s fans went as far as suggesting that “Penthouse was not always “pornographic” and to characterise it as that is just to demonise and imply that the article as being far more overtly sexual that it was.”

I will repeat what I said last time I wrote about Farrell: if he disagrees with any of my conclusions here, or feels he wishes to clarify or explicitly repudiate anything or everything in the Penthouse article, I’m offering him a chance to explain himself here in a post on this blog — in his own words, unedited.

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Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

“…you exhausted all other options, including therapy and suicide…”

Can anyone guess if that means deciding suicide isn’t an opinion, or if he’s talking about failed attempts at both therapy and suicide?

Idk why that’s bugging me, but it is.

And I sorta get LBT’s point — being attracted to my appearance is a sure ticket to not-interested-land. Biology hates me, I used to pull of androgyny fairly well, but not so much after high school (like I had a case of second puberty or something!). So I’m kinda stuck with biology versus androgyny please, fucking biology. I take brain-crushes much better. Does make the sorta long distance thing less difficult, brains do distance better.

*grumble* I’m complaining again, sorry. I’m inbiology? And the fishies are inbiggertank, because bigger tank is generally better! (Then again, the cories are 1~2″ in 55 gallons and end up piled atop each other…silly little things!)

Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

Utterly OT so I’ll put it over here!

Xkcd’s newest strip is up and mocking PUA and the friend zone, it is funny, go read it. ( xkcd.com for the uninitiated)

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
11 years ago

I’d go with celibacy over abstinence (assuming we had to choose one of those words) because abstaining from something really sounds to me like you’re choosing not to accept something readily available. But that’s just my read.

Yeah, abstinence doesn’t really fit either, but celibacy reads to me the same way – that it’s a choice, most times.

These clowns can’t even fit in the Desperate and Dateless category (do you have those in the US? Dances that are, or were, held here) since GGG himself has had plenty of dates and hasn’t exactly gone without sex. Perhaps MOOSD – Minimal Odds Of Second Date?

katz
11 years ago

GGG has a fuckbuddy, so he’s not celibate, abstinent, or “incel” by any definition of any of those terms. It’s even an ongoing relationship!

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
11 years ago

Yeah, his whole screaming about it is a heap of lies at the very best.

How he manages to maintain any sort of relationship is a mystery, unless he really is an elaborate Poe with this stuff. Though if he were, I don’t suppose he’d ever present himself as other than virgin.

Creepy little bonerwhiner.

katz
11 years ago

How he manages to maintain any sort of relationship is a mystery

Emotional abuse. He threatens to commit suicide if people don’t do what he wants.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
11 years ago

Gods. Vomit-in-mouth stuff. Should have known.

I think David would delete what I’d really like to say about that.

ostara321
ostara321
11 years ago

“But in case you feel you have to turn to violence because you exhausted all other options, including therapy and suicide, please try not to harm innocent civilians, as this would be counter productive and would actually be used by our enemies to their favor, making incels seem like mindless killers. If you really feel there is no other way out than violence, which I, once again, don’t recommend, attack those who don’t want to help you -Congressmen and Congresswomen who denied you help, police stations, federal government complexes, FBI headquarters, courts and such buildings.”

Gross. It’s true that it’s unlikely he or his ilk will ever actually do much of anything (if anything at all) since supposedly they’re too heavily burdened with the weight of their unfucked boners, but this is some major abuser logic.

I stopped bothering with trying to reason with him, but it really jerked my chain how he was all flipping out about women who got fearful who, duh, should be able to tell dangerous people from non-dangerous people by talking to them and should ergo be able to tell that he’s totally not dangerous. Except, by his own admission, he totally IS dangerous. I maintain that predators who are good at predatoring can easily fool people into believing that they’re the non-dangerous sort (which is why the whole “she can tell by TALKING TO ME” idea is bullshit, not to mention, the reverse is often used for victim blaming bullshit applied to rape victims) but that sometimes there are those who are dangerous, but not so good at hiding it. Based on everything he’s revealed on his blog and this one, I think he’s the sort that’s not so good at hiding his dangerousness. I’m pretty sure you could smell the rage on him from a mile away.

I’m also kind of saddened that he seems to think THIS is the fight for him, rather than say better access to healthcare, since he’s mentioned having problems actually seeing a therapist regularly and for substantial amounts of time. Since he has, by his own admission had sex (but it’s not about sex!) and has had a girlfriend (but he didn’t get to have sex with her!), logic would point to the idea that perhaps something else is at play aside from relationship/lack of sex angst.

@Jessay, yeah, I think a lot of people do underestimate how awkward everyone can be, some are just better at hiding it. What makes me really sad too is that bonerwhiners (I think I’ll call them that now, instead of incels) seem to view having a string of S.O.s in their late teens/early 20s as desirable, and yes, that is what some people want, but a lot of bonerwhiners seem to also be talking about wanting to find “THE ONE” and like, what, you really think 30 dates is going to get you that? If all you want is to find “the one” then why are you jealous of your friends who maybe are just better at dating, but not necessarily better at holding down LTRs? Why are you jealous of people who wind up hating their exes? It doesn’t make any sense to me. When I started realizing that my jealousy whilst trying to comfort friends after yet another breakup of theirs was not only really misplaced, but also narcissistic and douchey, I started to have more sympathy for others and it most definitely made me a better person (and a better friend and eventually a better partner). There’s a lot of pain in this world, and no, you are not the only person hurting if you are lonely. Gah, I have to stop writing on this topic, I think. It’s making me hate my younger self even more than I usually do.

hellkell
hellkell
11 years ago

GGG is very much mistaken if he thinks a girlfriend will magically solve all his problems.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
11 years ago

Not to mention that his whole forced-prostitution thing is intrinsically opposed to “finding THE ONE”. How likely is it that a woman coerced into doing that for money would want to have anything more to do with the sort of losers the scheme would be aimed at? After all we couldn’t have the dreaded alphas or even a lowly beta or three using this “dating” agency; that would edge out GGG and his bonerwhiner ilk and he’d have to set up another great protest movement.

katz
11 years ago

Everyone knows going out with a prostitute or escort can never, ever actually lead to love; that’s why he has to come up with a convoluted scheme where women go on dates and get paid but aren’t exactly getting directly paid by him to go on dates with him, so it doesn’t count as prostitution.

It’s sort of like how marijuana collectives aren’t exactly stores that sell you weed, since that’s illegal (where I am).

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
11 years ago

Clarifying, I wasn’t saying going out with a prostitute or escort can never lead to love – but that it wouldn’t be likely to happen to GGG or his ilk, if they were using this “dating agency”. For one thing, how would having a woman forced to go on a date with them help their own inability to talk or make romantic moves? They’d still have all the problems that cause this whining. But the very fact of these women being coerced would be enough to kill their chances, I think.

princessbonbon
11 years ago

This is what they don’t do and it makes them murderers.

This sentence is just appalling. I am not sure I even want to read anything else.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

That sentence sounds like it was written by a 5 year old. I feel like mailing him printouts of Piaget’s work on stages of cognitive development. His moral reasoning is stuck in the pre-operational stage.

katz
11 years ago

Kitteh, sorry if that sounded like it was directed at you; it’s GGG who continually says that. Wasn’t meaning to imply anything about what you think.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

@ katz

His theory seems to be that if he just gets to go on dates with enough women then one of them is bound to be a good match. Honestly, that seems unlikely to me even if you took out the government enforced escort service element.

ostara321
ostara321
11 years ago

It’s also silly that they’re a group of people complaining about how horrible their lives are for not having something they claim they’ve never had. Like, if you’ve never experienced it, how the hell do you know it’s so great? It could suck. And then you’d feel like a jackass for pining away for something you realized you didn’t even want once you had it. I actually have more respect for five year olds whining for candy or toys. At least, the way it worked for me was that I started whining for candy and toys once I’d already experienced those things and knew they were awesome so I wanted those awesome things even more. Obviously, 5 year old me hadn’t yet developed the mental capacity to register that a lot of awesome things (especially awesome things like candy) are best enjoyed in moderation, but still, it makes sense. You experience something cool, you want more of it. These guys claim to have never experienced romance, yet they see it as the cure all for their lives. 5 year olds are more logical and more mature than some of these bonerwhiners.

@Cassandra, yeah, he claims he’s been on HUNDREDS of dates, so how he seriously thinks 30 women paid to date him is going to lead to twu wuv, I don’t know. I partly think the “twu wuv” angle is just goal post shifting and partly think that the government angle is just more of an attempt to feel even more misunderstood and put upon and even more distressed. It also gives him an excuse to continue not doing the hard work of looking inward and thinking maybe there’s something there that could use a tune up. If it’s everybody else’s fault, there’s no reason for him to change. Spoiler alert, it’s no one else’s fault.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

I think it’s also part of a strategy intended to ensure that the fact that some guys aren’t getting laid is seen as everyone else’s problem. That would have all kinds of consequences, if it worked.

It’s not going to, though.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
11 years ago

katz – no, that’s cool, because I needed to clarify it anyways. It could well read as “sex workers and clients could never fall in love!” I mean, even someone coerced or trafficked could fall in love with a client (though the idea churns my stomach, because client in that situation = predator to me, even if he doesn’t know the sex worker’s background). But the idea of anyone falling for GGG or his bonerwhiner mates when they’ve been forced to *cough*date*cough* them in some sort of Work for the Dole scheme seems … unlikely, to say the least.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
11 years ago

What I want to know is, if his parents, government etc are murderers for not getting him fucks*, then he must already have been murdered … so who’s doing the typing?

::cue Twilight Zone music::

*as distinct from not giving a fuck

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

It’s like the A, B, or cyanide game. Try to survive without government support when you really need it or go on dates with scary dudes who want to fuck their mother and kill their parents for not finding them dates?

ostara321
ostara321
11 years ago

@Kittehs, they’re murderers alright, they’re just murdering him veeeeeeeeerrrrrrryyyyyy sssssslllllllllllloooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwlllllllyyyyy. Each day that they do not provide a date for him takes a day off of his life.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

It’s like my favorite typo of all time, when some kid on LiveJournal tried to insult another kid’s favorite band by saying that the singer was a serial killer, except she wrote “cereal”.

He’s a cereal killer. He beats people to death with a box of Corn Flakes. Since the box isn’t very heavy he’s not a very efficient killer, but hey, he tries.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
11 years ago

It’s like the A, B, or cyanide game. Try to survive without government support when you really need it or go on dates with scary dudes who want to fuck their mother and kill their parents for not finding them dates?

Cyanide would be looking real good about now.

When I think of a cereal killer I imagine someone sitting smashing their spoon into a bowl of cornflakes.

DIE YOU CEREAL FIENDS DIE