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Warren Farrell, whose 1993 book The Myth of Male Power essentially set the agenda for the Men’s Rights movement we know (and don’t love) today, did an “Ask Me Anything” on Reddit yesterday.
Most of the questions he chose to answer were pretty much softballs, and his answers largely reiterated things he’s said before many times. But he was also asked some pointed questions about his views on incest which he chose to answer. Well, sort of. Instead of clearing up the issue, he dug his hole a little deeper.
[TRIGGER WARNING for incest/child abuse apologia.]
Some backstory: As longtime readers of this blog know, Farrell spent several years in the 1970s researching a book about incest, which ultimately never appeared. In 1977, Farrell gave an interview to, of all things, Penthouse magazine, in which he tried to explain his “findings” and his views on the topic generally. The interview revealed that Farrell at the time had some exceedingly creepy views on incest and child sexual abuse.
If you haven’t read my post on the subject, going through the interview in detail, I suggest you take a few moments to read it now. (Here’s a transcript of the entire Penthouse article; in my post you can find links to high-quality scans of the original magazine pages – in case anyone still doubts he said what he indeed said.)
In short, Farrell believed there were “positive” aspects to incest that weren’t being talked about because society deemed the topic “taboo.” Indeed, the working title of Farrell’s book was The Last Taboo: The Three Faces of Incest.
In the past, Farrell has been, to say the least, a bit evasive when it comes to clarifying what he meant by some of the most troubling comments in the Penthouse interview, and would seem to prefer that all evidence of his interest in the issue of incest vanish down Orwell’s famous memory hole.
On Reddit, Farrell was presented with a perfect opportunity to set the record straight, both on his views on incest and child sexual abuse generally as well as on a number of specific quotes. (Note: as you’ll see, most of the first quote listed is the Penthouse author’s paraphrase, but the rest are all directly from Farrell.)
In his response, Farrell addresses none of the quotes directly, and his comments raise more questions than they answer.
“Excellent questions,” he says, before going on to answer none of them. Let’s break down his non-answer.
bottom-line, i did this research when my research skills as a new Ph.D. were in the foreground and my raising two daughters was in the future. had i and my wife helped raise two daughters first, the intellectual interest would have evaporated. life teaches; children teach you more. 🙂
He starts off by mentioning his Ph.D., though he doesn’t mention that it was in political science and not psychology. Moreover, his discussions of his research in the Penthouse interview suggest that his methodology was anything but scientific.
His reference to his daughters seems to suggest that if he had had children he would have realized that there really was no “positive” aspect to incest. One might have assumed he would have picked up on this when the overwhelming majority of the women he interviewed “admitted to having negative attitudes toward their incest,” as the Penthouse article delicately puts it.
Farrell ends this paragraph with a smiley, as if the years he spent trying to find examples of “positive” incest were all just a harmless misunderstanding.
now, for some depth. i haven’t published anything on this research because i saw from the article from which you are quoting how easy it was to have the things i said about the way the people i interviewed felt be confused with what i felt.
This is completely disingenuous. It’s not uncommon to find sexual abusers who’ve convinced themselves that the abuse they inflicted upon children was a good thing for their victims, and most people who write about the subject have no problem distinguishing their views from the abusers and abuse apologists they report on.
No, the really disturbing things about Farrell’s interview are the statements in which he expresses his own opinions on the subject. For example, this quote (referenced in the questions on Reddit), in which he describes some of what he evidently sees as the negative aspects of the incest “taboo.”
[M]illions of people … are now refraining from touching, holding, and genitally caressing their children, when that is really a part of a caring, loving expression, are repressing the sexuality of a lot of children and themselves. Maybe this needs repressing, and maybe it doesn’t. My book should at least begin the exploration.
You can see that whole quote in context in the original article here. Farrell now claims that he didn’t say “genitally” but “generally,” though if you replace that one word in that quote it’s scarcely any better.
The Penthouse article also contains this astounding quote from him:
“When I get my most glowing positive cases, 6 out of 200,” says Farrell, “the incest is part of the family’s open, sensual style of life, wherein sex is an outgrowth of warmth and affection. It is more likely that the father has good sex with his wife, and his wife is likely to know and approve — and in one or two cases to join in.”
And this:
“Incest is like a magnifying glass,” he summarizes. “In some circumstances it magnifies the beauty of a relationship, and in others it magnifies the trauma.”
In some circumstances it magnifies the beauty. Farrell gives absolutely no indication here that he is explaining someone else’s views; it seems to be what he himself believes. And until and unless he specifically addresses this quote it is hard to read it any other way.
Let’s go back to Farrell’s “answer.”
i have always been opposed to incest, and still am … .
That’s true, at least to an extent. In the Penthouse article, even though he seems to agree with many of the abusers’ rationalizations for their abuse, he does state specifically that he’s
not recommending incest between parent and child, and especially not between father and daughter.
But then he goes on to say this:
The great majority of fathers can grasp the dynamics of positive incest ‘intellectually’. But in a society that encourages looking at women in almost purely sexual terms, I don’t believe they can translate this understanding into practice.
As far as I can figure it, he’s saying that he’s opposed to father-daughter incest because in today’s sexist society it’s … hard for fathers to do incest properly? If that can be seen as being “opposed to incest” I guess he is opposed. I would love some clarification from Farrell on this point.
Back to Farrell’s answers on Reddit. After sort of, kind of, suggesting maybe his research was a bad idea (in that part above about his daughters) he returns to defending it:
but i was trying to be a good researcher and ask people about their experience without the bias of assuming it was negative or positive.
Really? Seeing abuse as abuse is “bias?” Would you consider it reasonable to study, say, murder, or violent assault, or even someone falling to their death off a mountain “without the bias of assuming it was negative or positive?” Or is it just sexual abuse of young girls and boys that merits such “objectivity?”
And yes, though Farrell now portrays himself as an advocate for both men and boys, he told the Penthouse interviewer that “boys don’t seem to suffer” from sexual abuse — sorry, incest. (That quote is a paraphrase of Farrell’s views from the Penthouse author.)
And then comes this amazing bit, in which he suggests that his interest in challenging the “taboo” of incest was in some ways inspired by the gay liberation movement of the 1970s – because on some level the sexual abuse of children is roughly similar to gay sex between consenting adults?
i had learned this from the misinformation we had gotten about gay people by working from the starting assumption of its dysfunction.
Amazing, just amazing.
You might think that Reddit’s Men’s Rightsers would be appalled by Farrell’s creepy non-answer. Nope. Most of them seem to think he addressed all possible concerns with the issue, with one poster getting dozens of upvotes for suggesting that MRAs bookmark “Dr Farrell’s response to the incest (mis)quote … for easy reference!”
It wasn’t a misquote, and his “response” was worse than no response at all.
The apologies for Farrell’s non-answer aren’t surprising. Other MRAs who are familiar with the interview have also gone to great lengths to explain it away; indeed, one of Farrell’s fans went as far as suggesting that “Penthouse was not always “pornographic” and to characterise it as that is just to demonise and imply that the article as being far more overtly sexual that it was.”
I will repeat what I said last time I wrote about Farrell: if he disagrees with any of my conclusions here, or feels he wishes to clarify or explicitly repudiate anything or everything in the Penthouse article, I’m offering him a chance to explain himself here in a post on this blog — in his own words, unedited.
But according to him a dry spell isn’t the same thing!!!! There’s no real explanation of how they’re not the same, but they aren’t and you’re not giving “incels” the recognition they deserve by comparing them to normal dry spells! You cretin!
I like the idea of putting the word in scare quotes to indicate that we don’t really believe it’s a thing.
THERE IS NOTHING NORMAL ABOUT BEING INCEL! I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU’RE COMPARING THEIR SUFFERING TO NONCEL NORMATIVE PEOPLE’S!
Oh god, I have read too much of his repetitious nonsense that I can quote the dude word for word at this point.
I’m still not sure if he’s a Poe, there’s part of me that keeps going “nope, too ridiculous to be real”.
I asked. He denied it.
Ewww, little fuckshite saying his therapist should have changed her job if she didn’t find being propositioned by patients a pleasant experience.
I dont know which is worse: if he’s a poe (and a poe would go on denying it) then he’s a totally unethical shitstain; if he’s genuine then he’s not only a shitstain but a potentially dangerous one.
I wonder how these bonerwhiners cope with the idea of all the people who’re virgins, may not be at all happy about it, but don’t go around blaming their preferred gender(s) for it, let alone demanding rape slaves? That was the essence of his “poor or unemployed women should be forced to date for money and punished if they haven’t put out by the thirtieth time” notion – he just words it more elaborately but his thinking doesn’t differ too much from Slavey’s there. Though I daresay even Slavey would baulk at the idea of demanding sex from his mother … if only because she’d be too old.
And “wanting loveshy recognised” … oh bollocks, socially inept men (it’s only ever men they care about) with the same old, same old sense of entitlement getting a guernsey as having some totes awful medical condition? Kiss my cat’s shitty arse, fellas.
*does some math* aw fuck it, 6 months huh? Guess I’m involutionarily celibate, not that I care…whatever, less good sex > more shitty sex. Just one more way they’re dumb.
(Ok, right this second I kinda care, but only because the not-an-ex and I just figured out that the soonest we might be able to see each other is the summer and idfk on that because too far out to schedule. Note that this isn’t “I can’t get laid” but “damn, I miss you, why you so far away?!”)
/personal rant
Yeah, “incel” is my preference here. Separates them from anyone in the situation kitteh describes (does that actually still happen though?) and prevents the troll explosion about how they’re totally a thing.
Loveshy is totally a thing though, shy about finding love? Yep, plenty of people have a case of teh shy. Don’t exactly need some special community for that, pretty sure “how to be less shy” has an entire self-help section already. Also, “incel” folks? Loveshy = your problem, go deal with your shyness, don’t blame everybody else. (If this isn’t making sense, my point here is that shyness is a thing, and wtf is with turning that into some massive wankfest?)
I’m currently inawake and ininternet*, but tomorrow morning I will be ingettingupearly for my job’s instarttime so I should really get in bed.
*this blog counts as an addictive substance, right?
I’ve also been insick lately, so I inneed some sleep.
My innervous system is in charge of digestion. My inimmune system is fighting germs. My inblink reflex keeps my eyeballs moist. NOTHING IS UNDER MY CONTROL! My inaddiction to this “in” thing is totally in.
inawake … um … insomnia … just saying
*is inviolinplaying* it’s midnight, so while I could correct this, I like being inbeingyelledat
Bagelsan wins an internet!
Re: loveshy – it seems pretentious and whiny to shove “love” in front of “shy” to me. Yes, shyness is absolutely a thing, yes, it can totally fuck with your social life (not just your love life) and yes, there are groups out there already to help with it … but from what I’ve seen, the “loveshy” label largely refers to yet more whining dudes who want women served up on a plate instead of even looking for help with their own problems. “Oh but I’m loveshy, women should KNOW that, they should be nicer to me, etc etc” is the message I’m seeing.
I very much doubt anyone still gets shoved into a convent/monastery anywhere! But celibacy =/= abstinence (voluntary or not) alone, and these twits appropriating the word are giving me the irks.
That’s a bummer about not being able to see the not-an-ex for so long. 🙁
There must be “in” words that apply to critters I’m sure Mads is instarved when her bowl isn’t overflowing with food, and Fribs is inbedless when I don’t want her sitting on my lap.
What about your fish, Argenti? Could they be suffering teh terrible in-syndrome?
I think these people really underestimate just how many people struggle to approach people they are romantically interested in. It’s a pretty common theme in life. With the exception of people who are overconfident, I think the majority of people struggle with getting the courage to “cold approach” someone they are attracted to, the amount varying on a sliding scale. This goes double for teens who are going through an awkward phase.
Jesus, I can’t even count the amount of times in my life that I’ve wimped out on talking to a dude I was interested in, ESPECIALLY in high school. And they weren’t throwing themselves at me either (what? but I’m a woman. That CAN’T be true!). It took a ton of courage (at times of the liquid variety), self improvement, and learning to accept rejection, to get over those fears. And even then my first relationships were rocky and I wasn’t mature enough to handle them so they were really short and not very fulfilling. But had I decided to crusade against how unfair life is and acted a fool like him I never would’ve met the long term bf who I had to keep showing interest in at work until he finally got over HIS awkwardness to sorta ask me out haha.
These guys are just dead set on being ~special cases~ that they can’t take a look around and realize how completely normal their situations are (omg, not having lost his vcard in high school, WHEN WILL I EVER BE NORMAL!). That, if anything, the only thing prolonging their “suffering” is them getting in their own way.
Man, this Warren Farrell is a piece of work. I wonder if he really means what he’s saying.
Thanks manboobz, I learned something today! Seriously, going through these comments, I had no idea at first what “incel” meant, until now. My experiences of sex sucked that bad I’ve gone from incel to just cel….(kinda, I still want to try to feel what others claim to feel).
@jessay: if only more people were more sympathetic. Usually it’s the complete opposite, people supporting bad norms like the idea that people “should” get together and “should” get married. I agree with your notion that people don’t need support groups for “incel”, instead, they need de-programming from the whole societal must-be-in-relationship brainwashing. (and if sexual frustration is the issue, consentual friends with benefits is for the win)
When it comes to the whole incest research thing, there’s more to it than underagers. I don’t know how Dr. Farrell defines incest but those who would otherwise be of consenting age performing otherwise legal sexual activities aren’t doing anything wrong IMHO unless it’s producing a child (due to known scientific concerns regarding genetics produced through incest). With that said, I’ve never been attracted to my own family (‘positive’), nor have I ever been abused (‘negative’), so I am probably not in as good position to get the whole picture.
I LOVE the term bonerwhiners. That’s totally going to be a phrase I start using now.
LBT – Yay! 😀
Jessay – soooo true! You just made me think, how would it have been different if Mr K had been on the earthly plane when I fell for him? Probably it wouldn’t, I’d have been too shy or awkward to say so when I was younger. Would that have been his fault, or any “fault” at all? Nope. I didn’t start governmentgetskings.com (though that’d be a way cooler blog name).
RE: Kittehs
I’m in the awkward position where my body and THE body look completely different. After almost six years of work, I’m growing more comfortable to THE body, but it’s still my car, not me. Which gives me some weird issues around people being attracted to it. So yeah, if I hadn’t encountered hubby, I think it’s highly likely I would’ve just been celibate. I’m an ascetic personality and mostly asexual, so it wouldn’t be much trouble for me.
LBT – that is a damn awkward situation. Does it feel like you’re, I dunno, an onlooker if someone’s attracted to THE body? (Hope that wasn’t too nosy a question … ?)
I have a slight – what to call it, disconnect is too strong – between how my earthly body looks and works and how it is in Spirit. I gather from Himself that it doesn’t look terribly different, but it sure works a lot better, lol. I don’t see myself there, because we don’t have mirrors in the house; the only glimpses I get are if he’s showing me his memories of the night before (and that’s a strange experience, let me tell you!)
RE: Kittehs
Does it feel like you’re, I dunno, an onlooker if someone’s attracted to THE body?
It’s just… uncomfortable. It’d be like… okay, pretend you live in a world where you have to drive everywhere, and most of your interactions are car-based. And then someone is like, “Oh god, your car is just so hot!”
I try to be understanding, since I know all of their interactions are with my car… but I don’t think I’d want to have to share a relationship with my goddamned car, you know?
I get it, I hope!
It makes me think of those robots in Dr Who, the ones with the crew inside – the robot body is what people on the outside see and mostly think is the being they’re talking to, but that’s not the case at all. Is that a reasonable comparison? (Not to mean the system members are a bunch of tiny people, of course!)
@Martyn that’s funny that you’re calling my sympathetic when GGG is raging against me for being unsympathetic. He doesn’t get that I’m unsympathetic to people who feel their need for a s.o. is more important than another person’s right to not be attracted to them.
But I couldn’t agree more that we need to be deprogrammed to not consider having a s.o. as the be all, end all of whether or not you’ve led a successful life. I get a lot of shit for being uninterested in getting married and having children, especially from my parents. My bf feels the same way, so to me that’s a success since neither of us are pressuring the other or missing out on something we want for the sake of the other. I think there’s a good amount of people who rush into marriage and children because they think it’s what they’re supposed to do and the only way to be happy, only to be completely disappointed and over-stressed.
BTW GGG made a new post which is calling for the US incels to rise up against their oppressors. He’s edited it since he first put it up, but at first it said
http://governmentsgetgirlfriends .wordpress.com/2013/02/24/a-call-to-us-involuntary-celibates
(I put a space in there so he doesn’t come a-running like he always does when people follow direct hyperlinks to his site.
So this little shitstain thinks people who’ve never heard of him and his pathetic loser mates are enemies who’re conspiring to stop them getting a fuck? Thinks they should be killed for failing to provide him with rape slaves? He’s worse than Owly.
I’d go with celibacy over abstinence (assuming we had to choose one of those words) because abstaining from something really sounds to me like you’re choosing not to accept something readily available. But that’s just my read.
(Irrelevant: I once made a joke about celibacy at a high school Bible study, only to find that nobody except the leader knew what the word meant. Major “I don’t belong here” moment.)
Not to pick on the new person, since you’re stating a very common position, but I find it extremely uncomfortable to forbid sex/marriages between relatives on the grounds of the children it might produce (or to allow them only if they can’t produce children). Why couldn’t one forbid anyone with a genetic disorder, or who might be a carrier of a genetic disorder, from reproducing on the same grounds? Any way you slice it, that rule is based on the quality of children that are going to be produced, and that’s just way too eugenicist for me.
It’s incredible to me that he can’t connect his violence and rage with the fact that he doesn’t have a partner. I mean, really. How do those dots not connect?