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MRA founding father Warren Farrell responds to questions about his incest research with evasive non-answers. And a smiley.

Watch out: He has a Ph.D!
Watch out: He has a Ph.D!

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And now back to our regularly scheduled post:

Warren Farrell, whose 1993 book The Myth of Male Power essentially set the agenda for the Men’s Rights movement we know (and don’t love) today, did an “Ask Me Anything” on Reddit yesterday.

Most of the questions he chose to answer were pretty much softballs, and his answers largely reiterated things he’s said before many times. But he was also asked some pointed questions about his views on incest which he chose to answer. Well, sort of. Instead of clearing up the issue, he dug his hole a little deeper.

[TRIGGER WARNING for incest/child abuse apologia.]

Some backstory: As longtime readers of this blog know, Farrell spent several years in the 1970s researching a book about incest, which ultimately never appeared. In 1977, Farrell gave an interview to, of all things, Penthouse magazine, in which he tried to explain his “findings” and his views on the topic generally. The interview revealed that Farrell at the time had some exceedingly creepy views on incest and child sexual abuse.

If you haven’t read my post on the subject, going through the interview in detail, I suggest you take a few moments to read it now. (Here’s a transcript of the entire Penthouse article; in my post you can find links to high-quality scans of the original magazine pages – in case anyone still doubts he said what he indeed said.)

In short, Farrell believed there were “positive” aspects to incest that weren’t being talked about because society deemed the topic “taboo.” Indeed, the working title of Farrell’s book was The Last Taboo: The Three Faces of Incest.

In the past, Farrell has been, to say the least, a bit evasive when it comes to clarifying what he meant by some of the most troubling comments in the Penthouse interview, and would seem to prefer that all evidence of his interest in the issue of incest vanish down Orwell’s famous memory hole.

On Reddit, Farrell was presented with a perfect opportunity to set the record straight, both on his views on incest and child sexual abuse generally as well as on a number of specific quotes. (Note: as you’ll see, most of the first quote listed is the Penthouse author’s paraphrase, but the rest are all directly from Farrell.)

RDwfQuest

In his response, Farrell addresses none of the quotes directly, and his comments raise more questions than they answer.

RDwfAns

“Excellent questions,” he says, before going on to answer none of them. Let’s break down his non-answer.

bottom-line, i did this research when my research skills as a new Ph.D. were in the foreground and my raising two daughters was in the future. had i and my wife helped raise two daughters first, the intellectual interest would have evaporated. life teaches; children teach you more. 🙂

He starts off by mentioning his Ph.D., though he doesn’t mention that it was in political science and not psychology. Moreover, his discussions of his research in the Penthouse interview suggest that his methodology was anything but scientific.

His reference to his daughters seems to suggest that if he had had children he would have realized that there really was no “positive” aspect to incest. One might have assumed he would have picked up on this when the overwhelming majority of the women he interviewed “admitted to having negative attitudes toward their incest,” as the Penthouse article delicately puts it.

Farrell ends this paragraph with a smiley, as if the years he spent trying to find examples of “positive” incest were all just a harmless misunderstanding.

now, for some depth. i haven’t published anything on this research because i saw from the article from which you are quoting how easy it was to have the things i said about the way the people i interviewed felt be confused with what i felt.

This is completely disingenuous. It’s not uncommon to find sexual abusers who’ve convinced themselves that the abuse they inflicted upon children was a good thing for their victims, and most people who write about the subject have no problem distinguishing their views from the abusers and abuse apologists they report on.

No, the really disturbing things about Farrell’s interview are the statements in which he expresses his own opinions on the subject. For example, this quote (referenced in the questions on Reddit), in which he describes some of what he evidently sees as the negative aspects of the incest “taboo.”

[M]illions of people … are now refraining from touching, holding, and genitally caressing their children, when that is really a part of a caring, loving expression, are repressing the sexuality of a lot of children and themselves. Maybe this needs repressing, and maybe it doesn’t. My book should at least begin the exploration.

You can see that whole quote in context in the original article here. Farrell now claims that he didn’t say “genitally” but “generally,” though if you replace that one word in that quote it’s scarcely any better.

The Penthouse article also contains this astounding quote from him:

“When I get my most glowing positive cases, 6 out of 200,” says Farrell, “the incest is part of the family’s open, sensual style of life, wherein sex is an outgrowth of warmth and affection. It is more likely that the father has good sex with his wife, and his wife is likely to know and approve — and in one or two cases to join in.”

And this:

“Incest is like a magnifying glass,” he summarizes. “In some circumstances it magnifies the beauty of a relationship, and in others it magnifies the trauma.”

In some circumstances it magnifies the beauty. Farrell gives absolutely no indication here that he is explaining someone else’s views; it seems to be what he himself believes. And until and unless he specifically addresses this quote it is hard to read it any other way.

Let’s go back to Farrell’s “answer.”

i have always been opposed to incest, and still am … .

That’s true, at least to an extent. In the Penthouse article, even though he seems to agree with many of the abusers’ rationalizations for their abuse, he does state specifically that he’s

not recommending incest between parent and child, and especially not between father and daughter.

But then he goes on to say this:

The great majority of fathers can grasp the dynamics of positive incest ‘intellectually’. But in a society that encourages looking at women in almost purely sexual terms, I don’t believe they can translate this understanding into practice.

As far as I can figure it, he’s saying that he’s opposed to father-daughter incest because in today’s sexist society it’s … hard for fathers to do incest properly?  If that can be seen as being “opposed to incest” I guess he is opposed. I would love some clarification from Farrell on this point.

Back to Farrell’s answers on Reddit. After sort of, kind of, suggesting maybe his research was a bad idea (in that part above about his daughters) he returns to defending it:

but i was trying to be a good researcher and ask people about their experience without the bias of assuming it was negative or positive.

Really? Seeing abuse as abuse is “bias?” Would you consider it reasonable to study, say, murder, or violent assault, or even someone falling to their death off a mountain “without the bias of assuming it was negative or positive?” Or is it just sexual abuse of young girls and boys that merits such “objectivity?”

And yes, though Farrell now portrays himself as an advocate for both men and boys, he told the Penthouse interviewer that “boys don’t seem to suffer” from sexual abuse — sorry, incest. (That quote is a paraphrase of Farrell’s views from the Penthouse author.)

And then comes this amazing bit, in which he suggests that his interest in challenging the “taboo” of incest was in some ways inspired by the gay liberation movement of the 1970s – because on some level the sexual abuse of children is roughly similar to gay sex between consenting adults?

i had learned this from the misinformation we had gotten about gay people by working from the starting assumption of its dysfunction.

Amazing, just amazing.

You might think that Reddit’s Men’s Rightsers would be appalled by Farrell’s creepy non-answer. Nope. Most of them seem to think he addressed all possible concerns with the issue, with one poster getting dozens of upvotes for suggesting that MRAs bookmark “Dr Farrell’s response to the incest (mis)quote …  for easy reference!”

It wasn’t a misquote, and his “response” was worse than no response at all.

The apologies for Farrell’s non-answer aren’t surprising. Other MRAs who are familiar with the interview have also gone to great lengths to explain it away; indeed,  one of Farrell’s fans went as far as suggesting that “Penthouse was not always “pornographic” and to characterise it as that is just to demonise and imply that the article as being far more overtly sexual that it was.”

I will repeat what I said last time I wrote about Farrell: if he disagrees with any of my conclusions here, or feels he wishes to clarify or explicitly repudiate anything or everything in the Penthouse article, I’m offering him a chance to explain himself here in a post on this blog — in his own words, unedited.

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CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

I’m involuntarily not a millionaire. I mean, granted that my personal choices are partly responsible for that, and if I’d really wanted money more than anything I’d have gone to law school like my teachers wanted me to. But still, surely I deserve to be rich, even if I’m consistently not making the kind of choices or sacrifices that would get me there. I shouldn’t have to give up anything to be rich! The government should just give me a few million, because I’m a nice person and I deserve it and doesn’t anyone care about my feelings?!!

They should also provide me with a big house with a huge yard so that I can get a couple of Huskies. It’s only fair, and if that doesn’t happen I’m perfectly justified in being angry at my parents for not doing it instead.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

Also, as part of the governmentgivesmansions program I should be provided with an unlimited supply of Huskies to choose from, even if all evidence to date shows that dogs don’t tend to like me very much. Fuck their feelings, what about my needs?

Stop killing me by not giving me some Huskies and a McMansion!

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

I’m involuntarily monolingual, but why should I have to study a language to learn it? I shouldn’t have to spend time and money and effort doing all that. My parents should have learned French and spoken bilingually at home so I’d know it already. It’s not FAAAAIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRRRR

cloudiah
11 years ago

Cassandra is both inman and inhusk. Poor dear.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Gah, I was just about to say “as long as the governmentgivesmansions” isn’t McMansions. Too many of those things popping up were I am.

(Gad, maybe there is a governmentgivesmcmansions scheme … )

cloudiah
11 years ago

Kittehs’ is inmultiling. IT’S THE OPPRESSION OLYMPICS.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

That’s a better name than inmon that I was thinking of. It sounded like someone doing a bad Jamaican accent.

katz
11 years ago

I am distinctly inwarm at the moment. *Turns up thermostat*

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Wouldn’t that be inchill, katz? Involuntarily chilly?

DO NOT APPROPRIATE THE SUFFERING OF US AS IS INWARM

::turns on fan::

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

Well, I’m British, so I have a built-in prejudice stating that proper mansions always come with Labradors.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

I’m also innoodles at the moment. I want some chow mein, and I could just walk over and get some but it’s cold outside and why can’t my parents and/or the government just arrange to have a new plate of noodles delivered to me on a regular basis? So unfair, I think I’ll start a website about it.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Left a comment, katz. 😀

katz
11 years ago

I now officially have more joke blogs than real blogs.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

Inwarm, too. Luckily I have a heating vent that’s in the floor, so when it gets really cold I just go and stand over for a while.

ostara321
ostara321
11 years ago

Yeah, I mean, obviously the whole “incel” thing is hogwash, and most of my instinct is to be mostly contemptuous of anyone who identifies as such, but I think part of the bit of sympathy I do have for them is just seeing how they’ve set up their own personal prisons. I know what that’s like, and it sucks because you can’t even see the bars because your brain set it up and you know all your own best tricks (if that makes any sense). Granted, I have a tendency to do this to myself for just about everything (I have a similar mental evasion technique in regards to career stuff and am realizing in regards to my possibly buying a car, also even doing other hobbies) but I think it was particularly bad for me with relationship stuff because I tied SO much of my idea of being a grown up to having that first “real” relationship. It took a really long time for me to realize that I do this sort of thing to myself ALL the damn time because I’m actually afraid and feeling like I’m some tragic soul who things will never work out for gives me an excuse not to even try.

This is major projection, but I think with a lot of self dubbed “incels” it’s more of that too afraid to try thing than anything else. I sometimes think a lot of people just aren’t ready for sex/relationships/whatever until later on but there’s this huge cultural focus on romantic love so it’s hard to admit sometimes, even to yourself, that that isn’t what you want, at least right now. That’s how it was for me at least. But of course, rather than focus on getting on with their lives or even on trying to dismantle the cultural imperative to be “in love” they just focus on “poor me, poor me, poor me”. I’m honestly just really glad I found feminism before any “incel” garbage. Though I do think it’s possible I’d have been scared away from them and their sites anyway, given how horribly most of the “incels” I’ve come across seem to view women.

Maybe I shouldn’t be so sympathetic, I guess. Afterall, I tend to think most MRAs are miserable due to mental prisons they’ve set up for themselves, and I don’t feel nearly as bad for most of them.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

“ALL my system members are awesome.”

This is quite true! My apologies to those I missed, ’twas sleepy and thus a bit stupid!

Nice rimshot katz *rolls eyes*

I’m waiting for the bellhop and not caught up, so please pardon me for replying to old things, thanks guys.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Ostara – yeah, I could sympathise with someone’s mental barriers (jerkbrain, as Captain Awkward calls it) putting so many obstacles in the way – I have plenty of that sort of thing – except incels are “women owe me sex”, like every other piece of MRA shite we see. GGG is just the extreme version of it. Even if he’s an elaborate Poe, the fact he gets sympathy and agreement from them is very revealing.

Jessay (@jessay)
11 years ago

The only reason I’m even using the term is in the context of the discussion. It’s easier to type of “I’ve known people

who are ‘incel’,” than, “I’ve known people who haven’t had sex or a relationship for more than six months,” when trying

to compare how he isn’t responding to it in a way that the vast majority of people dealing with the same problem do. I

would never use the term outside of discussion about it. If the people I know who are frustrated about being single for

an extended period of time want to vent about their lonliness and/or get advice THE LAST THING I’M GONNA DO is send them

to an incel support group so they can stew in their own self pity. I’m gonna be a friend and listen, empathize, and try

to advise them on ways to find personal happiness outside of a relationship so that they
1. Don’t feel so generally bummed until they find a s.o.
2. Naturally become more appealing to their preferred sex because personal happiness tends to attract other people.
3. Sitting on the computer whining isn’t a good way to meet people, but engaging in activities which interest you is.

I am unfortunately incat due to my boyfriend’s allergy. I need a government program to find a cure for his allergy so I

can have all the cats I desire. governmentsgetcatallergycures is my blog.

haha @katz, I see that inpubs self pity party on every single comment section of articles on Lena Dunham. They don’t need their own forum, articles on her are everywhere!

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

It’s easier to type of “I’ve known people who are ‘incel’,” than, “I’ve known people who haven’t had sex or a relationship for more than six months,” when trying to compare how he isn’t responding to it in a way that the vast majority of people dealing with the same problem do.

AKA “I’ve known peole who’ve gone through dry patches but aren’t self-pitying enough to call themselves involuntary celibates because of it.” 😉

Jessay (@jessay)
11 years ago

why the hell did my comment come out all spaced out like that?!

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

I was about to ask that, actually! But yeah, I agree – incel is not an actual thing, but it’s easier to just use the term when you’re talking about the people who ID that way because explaining the whole context is too wordy.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

I was wondering about the spacing! WordPress strikes again?

I guess what I’m trying to get at is how katz described it – not validating the idea of “involuntary celibacy” (which sounds to me like it shoud mean immured in a convent/monastery to prevent Unsuitable Marriage). The Incels are about as credible as the rest of the MRM and associated bonerwhiners.

(Can I trademark that? BonerWhiners™?)

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Stupid Oxford! They could at least have added that it’s a word used by entitled losers and NiceGuys™. (Hope that’s in the dictionary too; it should be, as a reference.)

Am I the only one who read “dumphone” as “dump hone”?

I’m currently pissed off because my “dumphone” died after a mere seven years of being carted around in my backpack, and I do. not. like. the one I had to replace it with.

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