Categories
misogyny MRA PUA question time

Question Time: MRAs and PUAs in the real world

questiontime

The Man Boobz Pledge Drive continues. See here for more details, or click below to donate.

And now back to our regularly scheduled post:

Reading through some of the stranger comments from MRAs and PUAs and other manospherean types I often find myself wondering to what degree this β€œnew misogyny” reaches beyond the internet. I don’t mean old-fashioned misogyny and sexism, which are obviously fairly common offline. I mean the elaborate misogynistic ideologies we discuss here – the β€œfeminism runs the world,” β€œall women are hypergamous bitches who will dump you in a second for an alpha,” β€œwe hunted the mammoth to feed you” kind of stuff.

I run across much less of this offline than on, though the people I hang out with aren’t exactly a representative sampling of the general public.

So I’m asking you, dear readers, to tell me a bit about your own experiences. Do you run across MRAs/PUAs in the real world on a regular or even an irregular basis? Where (online or off) did you first encounter MRAs and/or PUAs? What aspects of what we might call the manosphere ideology are the most common offline? If it seems less common offline, is this because the beliefs are not that widespread, or is it that people are less willing to say the kind of horrific misogynistic shit they say online to other people face to face?

Thoughts?

466 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

I should be in bed, my alarm’s set for about 6 hours from now, but now I’m glad I’m still up, because this —

“if you think the hate-filled misogynistic bigots manboobz exposes represent the typical man, well sir thats MISANDRY.”

+1 internet

johnnykaje
11 years ago

A few weeks ago we breached the subject of hormones and my (hard RW Xian fresh out of homeschool) co-worker said “you probably know all about them, being, y’know, female.”

“You know guys have hormones too, right?”

“Yeah, but they don’t affect us mentally.”

To clarify: a TEENAGE boy is telling me hormones have no effect on his mind.

Today he was in a raging foul mood and I had to restrain myself from pointing out how hormonal he was being.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

That does put his tantrum over this thread in context, doesn’t it? How dare David imply that MRAs are outside the norm in that most men aren’t hateful weirdos who fantasize about hurting women? That’s totally unfair to men who are hateful weirdos who fantasize about hurting women!

TheCatFromOuterSpace
11 years ago

“So Gosh Manboob, Pledge drive time, huh? Got that big old β€œDonate” icon up there. ”

Just out of pure morbid curiosity, do you think it’s free to host a well trafficked website? Do you think servers run on happy thoughts and good intentions?

Ellex
Ellex
11 years ago

The notion that only women are emotionally/mentally affected by hormones is really common. Not just among men, but among women as well.

Basic biology. It’s not quantum fricking physics, it’s your body.

TheCatFromOuterSpace
11 years ago

“It’s not quantum fricking physics, it’s your body.”

Well, to be pedantic, all the chemical reactions going on in your body are governed, at the molecular and atomic level, by quantum physics.

Not that it effects your point one iota…

Tulgey Logger
Tulgey Logger
11 years ago

Which is why Osama had so many wives after becoming a terrorist. Or serial killers get propositions. You made my day with that.

Ah, sonichu shows us that no, he doesn’t actually agree with that “women are people” thing he mentioned in the other thread. How utterly predictable.

I’m a bit perplexed as to the reasoning behind “serial killers get propositions from women ergo women love evil men” thing. Assuming the adult female population of the U.S. is 150 million, and that a mere .1% of those women are just that into serial killers, that means that at any given moment there are (150 million x .001 =) 150,000 women running around who would gladly proposition a serial killer. That’s enough to ensure that just about every high-profile serial killer could easily get hundreds or thousands of propositions from women and it would still say absolutely nothing about what the rest of the 99.9% of women like.

But hey. I hear that 99% of the population actually really supports sonichu, and they tell him by email, so he must be on to something.

Cassie
Cassie
11 years ago

MRAs are the extreme end of the logic of a misogynist society. Most people don’t think in as extreme terms as they do, but there is overlap there between social attitudes towards women and the underlying arguments of the MRM.

Tulgey Logger
Tulgey Logger
11 years ago

Should say “the reasoning behind the ‘serial killers[…]’ thing,” but I didn’t proofread so it doesn’t.

BritterSweet
BritterSweet
11 years ago

I don’t frequent bars or clubs, which tend to be hot spots for PUAs, so I haven’t had much personal experience with them. As an introvert whose hobbies can be done at home, and whose college major was nursing, I had less exposure to men (and subsequently, PUAs) than the average woman my age.

I have, however, once encountered one of those “Smile for me” men while working part-time at a Chuck E. Cheese’s. I hadn’t heard of this phenomenon beforehand, so I wasn’t aware yet of the entitled attitude behind it despite having the creeped-out gut feeling. I smiled awkwardly, hoping he would be satisfied and get away from the children.

On a documentary show called “48 Hours,” I saw an episode where a woman had been murdered by her husband. One guy who was interviewed gave his opinion on the situation, and was the classic MRA, down to the comparison of feminism to Nazi Germany.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

It can be an interesting experiment, in a situation where you feel safe enough to do it, to respond to the “smile!” guys by looking directly at them and just saying “No”. The reactions can be quite illuminating.

cloudiah
11 years ago

So about 3 months ago I broke a glass in my kitchen, and my (bare) foot just found the only sliver of glass that I missed. It looks like I murdered someone in my kitchen. (I’m fine.)

On a more positive note, I just finished watching the pilot episode of Firefly and enjoyed it. I think I need to watch again though, because I was a little distracted by my bleeding foot and think I missed some details.

amandajane5
amandajane5
11 years ago

Cloudiah, sorry about the foot, but you’re just too gosh-darned pretty to die! πŸ˜‰

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

Eek!Is there someone who doesn’t have an injured foot who can clean up for you?

feminizm rulez bro!
feminizm rulez bro!
11 years ago

a lowly male once made eye contact with me, i ordered the drone (male, obvi!) i was with to pepper spray him ’til his eyes turned purple!! so empowering!!

cloudiah
11 years ago

It wasn’t even a big cut, but I bled like a stuck pig. Then the cats came over to see what was up and of course tracked it around — luckily, not onto the carpet. It’s more or less clean now. If anyone ever needs tips about cleaning up a crime scene, give them my name. XD

cloudiah
11 years ago

@feminizm, Cool story bro.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

The little bloody paw-prints would provide all kinds of entertainment to the CSI people.

TheCatFromOuterSpace
11 years ago

a lowly male once made eye contact with me, i ordered the drone (male, obvi!) i was with to pepper spray him ’til his eyes turned purple!! so empowering!!

Truly, you have a dizzying intellect.

Flora @ Subspecies (@florasubspecies)

Conversely with the smiling, I was told I needed to stop smiling at people because I was leading people on by being nice to them. I was incredibly shy and awkward as a teenager and hated male attention, but was also raised to be polite. I got incredibly frustrated by guys who would persistently misinterpret my vague pleasantries as sexual flirting and would proceed to follow me around the university making me incredibly uncomfortable. After this happened multiple times, I complained about it to a (now former) guy friend and was told I needed to stop smiling or asking what their major was because I was being a total cocktease.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

There once was a man called feminizm rules bro!

He got really upset about the idea that women might not want to have sex with him and how dare they, those snotty entitled bitches!

So he wrote lots of angry comments

That gave away far more about him than he intended, and made him look like a dumbass

Then women laughed at him, and happily carried on being feminists

The end

cloudiah
11 years ago

@Cassandra, That actually IS a cool story, sister. πŸ˜‰

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

It’s so funny the way he’s all “I will cut you down with my mighty rhetorical skills!” and everyone is all (shrugs) “whatever”.

Tulgey Logger
Tulgey Logger
11 years ago

Take note: “feminists think men shouldn’t be allowed to make eye contact with women” is a strawfeminist that r/mensrights types seriously believe.

No, seriously.

Stop laughing. I saw an image on r/mr and it was super cereal.

@cloudiah, ouch. Your story has inspired me to always have a flashlight to check for broken glass pieces after something shatters.

BritterSweet
BritterSweet
11 years ago

Come to think of it, maybe I did have an experience with a wannabe PUA. Maybe this was an attempted neg?

“You’re really smart, for an American.”

1 4 5 6 7 8 19