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And now back to our regularly scheduled post:
Reading through some of the stranger comments from MRAs and PUAs and other manospherean types I often find myself wondering to what degree this “new misogyny” reaches beyond the internet. I don’t mean old-fashioned misogyny and sexism, which are obviously fairly common offline. I mean the elaborate misogynistic ideologies we discuss here – the “feminism runs the world,” “all women are hypergamous bitches who will dump you in a second for an alpha,” “we hunted the mammoth to feed you” kind of stuff.
I run across much less of this offline than on, though the people I hang out with aren’t exactly a representative sampling of the general public.
So I’m asking you, dear readers, to tell me a bit about your own experiences. Do you run across MRAs/PUAs in the real world on a regular or even an irregular basis? Where (online or off) did you first encounter MRAs and/or PUAs? What aspects of what we might call the manosphere ideology are the most common offline? If it seems less common offline, is this because the beliefs are not that widespread, or is it that people are less willing to say the kind of horrific misogynistic shit they say online to other people face to face?
Thoughts?
Gawd, he sounds like one of Elam’s keyboard warriors.
pillow – hot damn, we really are twins! I agree on the notion that sex is pushed to a disturbing degree these days. Waiting to lose your virginity, or even staying celibate until you meet someone compatible in the long term (and I’m not even talking about marriage, I just mean more than a couple of dates) has become something pathetic to be laughed at and despised – and moreover, a problem to be fixed.
I wouldn’t have a problem with hooking up – I think sex is great, it’s relationships I have difficulty with. But it’s so dangerous for a women. I think a lot of men have no real idea how potentially harmful a casual hookup can be for women.
Rosie Fingers and Mr Battery-Operated are very good friends of mine. Frankly, I don’t feel like I’m missing much.
Kittehs’ – on the subject of dating: my second ever boyfriend, on our second ever date, took me to see “Silence of the Lambs” (choice of movie was agreed upon by both of us). I thought the film was supposed to be a black comedy.
Needless to say, there was not a third date. Also, the mindset that led me to find that film (and most other horror films) funny seems to have affected all subsequent potential relationships, both male and female, bar one, which never got any farther then friendship due to life just taking us in different directions.
“Yeah, we called it a dry spell, and it was pretty much a given
that if you weren’t a complete assbag, it would pass.”
Which is why Osama had so many wives after becoming a terrorist. Or serial killers get propositions. You made my day with that.
“Waiting to lose your virginity, or even staying celibate until
you meet someone compatible in the long term (and I’m not
even talking about marriage, I just mean more than a couple
of dates) has become something pathetic to be laughed at
and despised – and moreover, a problem to be fixed.”
David frequently attacks virgins and uses virginity as an insult. You know this, right?
If David frequently attacks virgins, you could find an example and link to it. So do so.
@sonichu
Stop reading the imaginary version if this site. It seems pretty horrid and it is making you unhappy.
Osama bin Laden tells you that you’re going to be his 10th wife, you don’t say no. At least, not if you want to keep your head.
http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/lookout/afghan-girl-beheaded-refusing-man-marriage-proposal-185239042.html
I have no idea why serial killers get propositions. Some women actually do buy into the ‘reform the bad boy’ trope.
I’m pretty sure my little brother is somewhere in this lot. His attitudes are a lot like their’s towards everything. After I got over my initial horror at sheer hatred unbridled these men have, I started visiting this blog to know what my little brother was thinking about. He’s generally a jerk about everything let alone woman’s issues. Anyone who talks to him during this month gets a rant about, “How come there’s no White History month?”
The funny thing is no one in the family can figure out how he turned out like this. Sure us kids grew up in a fairly conservative home, but the rest of us (including my other brothers) grew up to be liberal feminists. He’s the only conservative of us all and even my conservative parents thinks he goes way too far. Our best guess, is maybe he’s always been that way and the Army just brought it out worse in him.
Citation needed, fuckwit.
Laughing at MRAs whining about how they are entitled to sex =/= virgin shaming.
But keep digging that hole.
I think I heard something squeaking?
Squeak, squeak, squeak!
I’m confused as what you’re trying to say here. Are you trying to say that because some women go for jerks, ALL women go for jerks? Or are you trying to say that SOME women ARE jerks?
Either way, you’re not really making a point and your comment is the blog equivalent of a droning airconditioner.
@sonichu
I’ve been lurking here since about the beginning of January. I haven’t seen any virgin-shaming. Define “frequently”.
Also, see my gravatar. That headless cat? He’s smarter than you are.
Alright, who got sonichu all hopped up on sugar and set him loose here? It’s way past Squeaky’s bedtime.
A former roommate of mine was, in retrospect, a hardcore MRA. Disgust with “greedy materialistic” American women, blonde ex-wife, 4 kids; Saw a book, pretty sure it was this one.
At the time, I was still getting involved in politics, let alone the feminist perspective, so I chalked it up to a bitter ex. He was very affable, never angry, but over time, I found him to be a bottomless wellspring of pre-teabagger republican ideology wrapped in a friendly and calm exterior. He eventually moved out, (back with his ex!), leaving me with his much more apolitical nephew, and his friends.
Huh. I thought there was a chance you were just mostly clueless, so thanks for waving your giant “I’m a terrible person!” sign. I’ll be sure to ignore you in future.
Oh, I see, zie’s not the rain frog, zie’s this kid. High on sugar and can’t understand why we don’t just believe everything zie says.
Oh hey, a fun budding MRA story from my youth. My little brother has never had much sense, too big a mouth for his head, and no gift at when to pick an audience. He was eight, and on a van ride on the way some Church event he proclaimed, “I don’t think woman should have be given the right to vote.”
He said this in a car full of woman and a bunch of girls who took their future civic duty very seriously. I do not remember where he got those ideas, or what his supporting arguments were, but I recall the uproar this caused. We were more pissed than if someone had told us Star Wars sucked. Someone (not me) might have kicked him.
Never met an MRA in real life, but I’m shy and the guys I hang around with are complete sweeties. Have run into some (older) men with some odd ideas about the relationship between me and their sense of aesthetics though.
Have also met some people who think Feminism is pure molten misandry and female supremacy, but are perfectly willing to support otherl movements such as “Humanism” (I occasionally snark that the name has already been snapped up by a subgroup of Atheists) or “Equalists” (*insert Legend of Korra joke here*) that are, in fact, identical to Feminism (but not the Feminism that lives in their brains).
I’d never heard the words “incel” or “hypergamy” until I started reading this blog. But now I have a faux-MRA inner monologue that narrates rom com trailers and car commercials going, “Misandry! Hypergamous bitches! Scented Candles!!”
The grudge that Squeaky is holding against both David and the other commenters can’t be good for his health. If he keeps working himself up like this he’s going to end up with an ulcer.
Yeah, I have a feeling Squeakichu is going to flame out fast.
(reads through comments…)
Sonichu…
Sonichu!?
THAT SONICHU?!?!?!
Former Nice Guy here (I pulled back from it when I realized where the ‘logic’ was taking me, and managed to NOT become a complete asshat, but I’ll admit it took a fairly long time to get completely clear of the underlying premises).
I don’t know that it’s worse in terms of, say, numbers or statistics. I DO think the rise of the internet has made it more visible, and possibly permitted the clustering of NGs (the whole “incel” thing is new, for instance). This may be causing a certain degree of reluctance to abandon the entitlement involved–they’re reinforcing one another’s belief in their right to sex.
If trolly thinks that we’re going to believe that zie just showed up here with no prior knowledge of either this site or the MRM and just found it completely infuriating and unacceptable that another troll had linked to an SPLC article, and concluded based on that alone that David and everyone else here are all terrible people…
Actually, I’m sure zie expects us to believe that. And that’s why zie’s going to go through life perpetually confused.
“Humanism” (I occasionally snark that the name has already been snapped up by a subgroup of Atheists)
Not to mention the likes of Marguerite de Navarre, Thomas More, Isotta Nogarola, Erasmus, etc, etc …