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And now back to our regularly scheduled post:
Reading through some of the stranger comments from MRAs and PUAs and other manospherean types I often find myself wondering to what degree this “new misogyny” reaches beyond the internet. I don’t mean old-fashioned misogyny and sexism, which are obviously fairly common offline. I mean the elaborate misogynistic ideologies we discuss here – the “feminism runs the world,” “all women are hypergamous bitches who will dump you in a second for an alpha,” “we hunted the mammoth to feed you” kind of stuff.
I run across much less of this offline than on, though the people I hang out with aren’t exactly a representative sampling of the general public.
So I’m asking you, dear readers, to tell me a bit about your own experiences. Do you run across MRAs/PUAs in the real world on a regular or even an irregular basis? Where (online or off) did you first encounter MRAs and/or PUAs? What aspects of what we might call the manosphere ideology are the most common offline? If it seems less common offline, is this because the beliefs are not that widespread, or is it that people are less willing to say the kind of horrific misogynistic shit they say online to other people face to face?
Thoughts?
Like a lot of counterintuitive results, it’s actually just wrong. Yes, two-income families have lower purchasing power than they used to (and, perhaps, lower even than one-income families may have had at one point), but that isn’t the fault of people for working.
At this point we can all use a happy story:
On February 20, 1963 a couple of teenagers met in the Philippines in high school. They lost contact after that year in the same school.
Over time they traveled the world but never meeting again.
Then they ran into each other on Facebook and today, 50 years later, they were married.
🙂
Drew, as a long-time stitcher and recent knitter, the only thing I can recommend for hands getting sore is rest. It’s like any other repetitive strain injury. I’m sorry your mum has rheumatoid arthritis, that’s horrible and all the more frustrating since she loves sewing.
On the magnifier topic, there’s a range of strengths with the specs. I use the weakest ones. I recommend them because of the convenience of not having to have a big magnifier that has to sit on the table, or whatever.
Drew, perhaps Japanese punch embroidery? They use somewhat larger tools. Otherwise, sewing projects using an embroidery machine or sewing machine might work.
Embroidery machines go from 400 and up, but I probably wouldn’t suggest anything below a grand because of versitility and durabilty issues.
Drew is also in favor of banning ice cream because of its proven link to deaths by drowning.
pillow – I wear glasses too, multifocals, but I don’t use them when I’m sewing/reading/knitting. My close vision has deteriorated a bit with age, which is where the magnifiers are perfect. They’re not expensive, either, at least not here – about $25.
All too often, “counter-intuitive” is to scholarly work what “edgy” is to humor. 😉
Cool story princessbonbon! 🙂
@Drew
In my experience (I have fibromyalgia with terrible hand pain), the pain got better once I found an activity that let me exercise my hands without ever overdoing it (or with a bit of warning that the point is coming soon). Personally (and this is a bit of a “kid” activity so I don’t know how it would go over with your mother), I found Perler beading to be really helpful. I get to exercise my hands and practice fine motor skills, but the beads are big enough for me to not overstress. I actually use cross-stitch patterns for a lot of what I make so it is a bit like needlework. 😉
If you search for “Perler,” you should get a link that will give you 40% off an item and a lower amount to spend for free shipping. (Or, if not, try again soon. They have that deal a lot.) http://perler.eksuccessbrands.com/
I’m really into it now as it is both physical therapy for me and fun. I make coasters and things to hang on my walls and magnets and ornaments. If you don’t buy the colors individually, it should only be about $20 to get enough to try it out. I don’t know if the results will be as good as mine were (my hand pain decreased by at least half and I can now do more things), but it might be worth a try.
Truer words were ne’er spoken.
Another one is “profound.” People go “ooh, I’d never thought of that, it’s so profound” when often the reason you wouldn’t have thought of it is because it’s not true.
Kitteh, without my glasses I be considered legally blind. I can’t see a damn thing an inch in front of my face without them! Also, my glasses tend to slide, so two pairs would drive me nuts.
I’m hoping to get a magnifer that clips onto my hoop or something.
Drew, sorry to hear about your mom. Both my mother and my grandmother suffer from arthritis that runs from the tips of their fingers to the bottom of their spines. My grandma also has soft tissue damage to her arms and hands. Its the result of so many years of doing so much sewing and knitting. In my grandmas case, she still knits every day, but she takes it slower and takes frequent breaks. Some days she just can’t do much, and that’s her reason for getting out of bed each morning.
Perhaps your mom could try learning new crafting skills with tools that are larger or could be adapted to her needs?
pillow – oh crap, yeah, magnifiers won’t be much help if your eyesight’s that restricted. I’m short-sighted as in not being able to focus more than arm’s length away, but that’s a different kettle of haddock.
katz – LOL about “profound”. Mr K has often said things I’d not thought of, or from an angle I hadn’t thought of, but if I called ’em profound he’d fall over laughing. 😉
I really wish more people embroidered. There’s an embroidery guild in town I think, but all of the work they do (or at least show) is cross stitch. Beautiful work really, but not my cup of tea. Also, they only meet once a month.
pillowinhell: Do I start a blackwork sampler/dust cover for my sewing machine on the forty count linen and hope my eyes don’t bleed, or do I wait indefinitely until I manage to find a suitable and probably expensive magnifying glass?
You could pay 20 bucks for some 4x reading glasses.
I am amazed at the effect of the reading glasses when I’m looking at stuff withing three feet of my face.
If that doesn’t work… wait. I love blackwork, and I love projects, and the frustration of trying to do one when only a few minutes is possible before the drops of blood are threatening to stain the linen… bad.
I really like, btw, red and black work.
I’ve done embroidery. I am prone to doing illustrative free-form (say a bonsai on black silk).
Ugh: So it’s my fault for wanting to argue his points?
In a word yes. Rather than point out the speciousness of his base claim you gave it credence. That’s on you, and the responses you got were based on the speciousness of the arguments you were (intended, or not) defending.
Drew: I could offer a more hedged, nuanced, and narrower statement. but I don’t think it’s worth anybody’s time at this point.
Why didn’t you start with one? Insulting the intelligence/experience/knowledge of the audience is a piss poor way to start anything.
My point in posting the link to Warren is that the rise of two-income households has reduced purchasing power for lots of families
Has it? What it looks like is (for whatever reason) wages declined, but with two incomes family incomes increased; which masked the structural problem. Then, because of the stagnation, people who were not possessed of two incomes in the household took a hit. That hit has had second-order effects.
pillowinhell: Kitteh, without my glasses I be considered legally blind. I can’t see a damn thing an inch in front of my face without them! Also, my glasses tend to slide, so two pairs would drive me nuts.
Get a jewelers hat (or whatever they call it). It’s like a baseball cap, but it has a pair of magnifying lenses in the bill. My ex’s mother used it for sewing, for much the same reason you mention.
In short: it’s not a good idea to come onto a misogyny-mocking site with a claim that boils down to “women are a problem for people”.
@pecunium
Saying that his claim was entirely wrong was defending it? He claimed that wages had decreased in the last 60 years as a result. I pointed out he was wrong, because he was. As a result, you’ve been extremely condescending.
We’re on the same side here, please give the condescension a rest.
And yeah, telling me that I was “unintentionally” defending a viewpoint through not arguing exactly the way you want? As in, telling me you know better than me what I believe? Really not cool.
pillow in hell, have you seen this sort of website? They’ve a range of stuff and it’s not expensive.
http://www.jdr-be.com/embroidery-magnifiers-lights.htm
Oooooooooh! I have not seen this site before! And look! The magnifyers aren’t atrociously expensive!!!
Imma look and pick out stuff and bug Beloved about my upcoming birthday!!
Yayyy!
(premptive apology for responding to something that was a couple pages ago)
@nitram
Thank you for your kind words 🙂 My depression was actually acting up pretty recently (past month) but it’s returning more to normal now. Luckily I haven’t had to deal with those kind of people in real life, idk if I’m just very sheltered *shrug*
My sister actually convinced me I should go to the doctor to get it checked out, and got me to start meds, so my she’s kind of awesome 😀
Ugh: And yeah, telling me that I was “unintentionally” defending a viewpoint through not arguing exactly the way you want? As in, telling me you know better than me what I believe? Really not cool.
I didn’t say what you believed. I wasn’t being at all sarcastic. I think your defense of his base position was unintentional.
The response you got was because people read your words, and saw them as being supportive of him. Telling us to divine your intent is pretty condescending, in it’s own right.