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Crystal Bawling: Spearheaders look forward to an apocalyptic future in which the ladies finally get their comeuppance

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Over at The Spearhead, the boys are thinking about tomorrow – to be more specific, about the year 2020, the date at which an MRA calling himself The Fifth Horseman predicted in an eccentric online manifesto that a convergence of forces would lead to the popping of what he calls “the misandry bubble,” and that the ensuing gender apocalypse would put the uppity ladies of the world firmly in their place.

In a post, Spearhead head boy W.F. Price notes that “cliodynamicist” Peter Turchin is also predicting big changes around 2020 (though unlike The Fifth Horseman, Turchin doesn’t base any part of his theory on the development of super-hot Virtual Reality sexbots). This naturally inspires the assembled Spearheaders to start scratching their own crystal balls, enthralled with visions of a future Armageddon that forces the ladies to come crying to them for forgiveness.

Jay R, a sort of apocalyptic deficit hawk, blames the ladies for the US government’s big debts:

Government has acted as though economic principles don’t apply to it — borrowing can increase forever without significant consequence. Riiiiiiiiight. And let’s not forget that the bulk of government debt and spending is a transfer of resources from men to women. It is primarily women who owe this debt. Will they be able to repay it? Only with massive devaluation of the currency.

And then he imagines women owing men a whole other sort of debt, which he has simply made up, and predicts that this debt will come crashing down on women’s heads – a notion that seems to give him a bit of a rage-boner:

Similarly, women’s social debt to men — the incalculable damages resulting from women’s wholesale breach of the social contract — is unsustainable, and when the crash comes, women’s tears will be bitter indeed. This is justice — but still regretable, if one thinks how things might have turned out if radical feminist hatred had not comandeered the process of compromise between the sexes.

True equality for women is on the horizon. When they finally are accorded the same treatment as men, and realize how far they have fallen — how much they themselves have been devalued as a sex — they will think themselves in hell.

Rod Van Mechelen of Backlash.com has an even more elaborate apocalyptic fantasy – although he’s a bit less certain about its outcome being a good one for men. In this portion of a long comment, he speculates about a couple of possible (by which I mean completely and ludicrously impossible) outcomes:

Demographically, the relative value of fecund females is set to go hyperbolic by 2020, when insane policies in Asia and the Subcontinent will manifest a shortage of women of child bearing age. In the past, when war has created a shortage of men, peace and prosperity were the result. What will happen when we have a shortage of women? Will we see a rise in female power, with matriarchies like the ones in Robert Heinlein’s classic, The Moon is a Harsh Mistress? Will we see rampant homosexuality and mandatory sexual servitude for women, as in J. Neil Schulmann’s The Rainbow Cadenza?

Uh, I think I’m going to go with “none of the above.”

Prolific MRA commenter and regular A Voice for Men contributor Keyster predicts (surprise, surprise!) economic collapse and riots in the streets.

[W]hen the money runs out and California becomes Greece, the federal government will step in with “emergency funds” and National Guard troops…a federal government that continues to borrow abroad to sustain itself. Do you see the snake eating it’s tail yet? And we have to wonder why there’s a nationwide shortage of guns and ammo?

Naturally, the rioters will be black.

If you thought inner city blacks were angry over Rodney King, just wait until they become desperate for food. Asian shop owners will be over-run in days, further distribution to these war zones will cease – and they’ll branch out to the tony suburbs seeking sustinence and easy prey. Drones will be called in to contain the rovering marauding gangs.

Keyster predicts that all these scary riots will lead the (presumably non-black, non-rioting) ladies to start batting their eyelashes at big strong (presumably non-black, non-rioting) men.

Men will notice a decided shift in women’s once hostile attitude towards them. “Can I get you a sandwhich honey?” “Are you thirsty?” “Need a back rub?”

They will be actively engaged in seeking out male protectors and openly using sexual allure to attract them as mates. Men are so much better at defending themselves from bad guys, so you’ll want one with you if you’re a woman.

Greyghost, meanwhile, imagines that the anti-uppity-female effects of an economic collapse will be enhanced by … the development of a male birth control pill. (You may need to read this one slowly; Mr. Ghost is not what you’d call a great communicator.)

[L]et’s say a male birth control pills comes out before cold fusion or some other extender of government wealth. What happens when even a coward to stand up to the femine imperative knows this misandry is unsustainable and figures out a male pill will maybe cause a correction while he still can be a coward. A woman without child is a worker drone and not eligible for entitlements.The US may look like China with low wage factories full of female workers with male mechanics/technicians keeping the machines running.

What is really funny and would be interesting to check out. Knowing women from reading and discussing female nature with you all here in the manosphere in general with the male pill being a pleasant wife might be the herd status symbol of the future. Take civil unrest combined with poor economic opportunities with men having the finale say so on who gets pregnant or not and we have a new status symbol.

Like Keyster, who once boasted on The Spearhead of dating a 14-year-old when he was 25, Greyghost seems enamored of relatively weak and dependent gals:

Next to a dog female fear is a mans best friend. Fearful insecure women tend to be more polite and pleasant to those around her.

Dream on, guys. Dream on.

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pecunium
11 years ago

I’d not recommend a golf club. They are oddly balanced, and require lots of room (even outdoors the backswing has to be clear). The attack is obvious, and takes a bit of time. It’s also very distance limited; not that one has to be close, but the target has to be in a fairly small arc of space away from the assailant.

They are also fragile; if something hits the shaft they break (even a bend will render the club pretty much useless).

freitag235
freitag235
11 years ago

Fearful insecure women tend to be more polite and pleasant to those around her.

And still they wonder why they’re deemed “The Abusers’ Lobby.”

MordsithJ
11 years ago

ah, nope. When I’m fearful and insecure my GERD acts up, and I can get pretty nasty. Way worse than my time of the month.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

How about the fireplace poker I’m eyeing for us if my father keeps it up? (I’m only half kidding, he’s taken to punching things when I tell him to cut the racism, it isn’t funny…cuz punching things is so mature /cranky )

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

*for use

Fuck, he got a fire ready to go before he went off punching shit, I should light that >.<

pecunium
11 years ago

Does it have good balance?

That’s really my criterion for a muscle energy impact weapon… does it have good balance.

By which I mean, can you swing it comfortably? Does it have a nasty habit when you try to stop/reverse its direction of motion?

If the answers are yes/no, then it’s good for you.

Edges, and projectile weapons (stored energy, in the form of springs/string/chemicals) are a different set of beasts, and have more considerations.

But I could go on about this (well, not just this) until I’d bored the pants off a statue, so I’ll stop here.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

Did I break the thread? Here, have a bunny!

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

Pecunium — I can weaponize a broom (well, just the handle, and wood please) but yeah, the old solid metal pokers balance beautifully.

I can also weaponize a cat, but that’s more for cuteness than actual weaponry. (And my father’s ranting about “them” coming to take his guns and how that’ll be a shoot out, fml)

Tulgey Logger
Tulgey Logger
11 years ago

@ithiliana, thank you for reminding me of this:

Corn Warning: Dangerously Corny

patterrssonn
patterrssonn
11 years ago

@ pecunium

I’m sticking with the golf club, as this comes from my mom (a cop came to her church to teach them basic self defense). Apparently even one handed it’s quite effective, you don’t need that much of a swing or a lot of strength and unlike say a knife it’s not likely to be used against you if your assailant gets the upper hand.

Having said that however, I am kind of liking this thing

3. Paracord Monkey Fist (aka“Monkey Ball”) – The first time I saw this I didn’t know whatself defense for women to think. It just looked like a cute key chain. Then, I swung it against a counter and realized how much damage this could do. It may look like a toy, but it most certainly is not. The Monkey Fist has a steel ball bearing wrapped in that paracord and would most certainly inflict serious damage if swung at a perpetrator’s head or even body. If you connect with this monkey…someone is going down.

thebewilderness
11 years ago

Criminy! They have obviously been watching “The Birth of a Nation” and cribbing from it, again.

I see no point to attempting to dispute their alternate reality with regard to the debt with silly facts from the reality based community. I suspect they are not only MRAs but Freepers as well.

katz
11 years ago

They have obviously been watching “The Birth of a Nation” and cribbing from it, again.

Then maybe their next video will have better cinematography.

thebewilderness
11 years ago

Every generation of fearful white men have been cycling through this bizarre race war apocalyptic fantasy for as long as I can remember. It never actually goes away, the volume just goes up and down.

polliwog16
polliwog16
11 years ago

If you want a kitchen implement that could serve as a weapon, I actually own this:

http://www.amazon.com/DCI-Knuckle-Pounder-Meat-Tenderizer/dp/B004SUQAUC

katz
11 years ago

Polliwog, that’s…literally just a set of brass knuckles. With extra serrations.

Polliwog
11 years ago

Pretty much, yup. It’s kind of fantastic.

(I’m not sure it would actually make a particularly good weapon, since it’s a lot more lightweight than a real set of brass knuckles – plus, it’s big enough that it doesn’t really stay on my hand well – but it works great for punching chicken breasts in a way that amuses people who see me cook.)

Tulgey Logger
Tulgey Logger
11 years ago

Drones will be called in to contain the rovering marauding gangs.

Wind scoured the dead, charred fields around what used to be Washington, D.C.. The year was 2022, and the last of the drones had finally been shot down by bands of motorcycle-riding leather fetishists. The Misandrist Socialist Caliph of the United Misandries of the NWO, Barack Hussein Obama, stood in a deserted trench, peering over bodies and through clouds of dust into the wilds of what was once Virginia. As his robot eyes struggled to focus in the haze, a shadowy line began to emerge and solidify at the other end of the field, much like the inky black lines of hatred had once pulsed on the temples of Chancellor Dworkin.

This was no swarm of castrating nano-misandries of the kind that had once been deployed against the noble gentlemen of the Kickass Rebellious States of Elam, however. This line was made up of men: it was a force of thuglovers and their beta-orbiter slaves, hundreds strong. As the line advanced across the field, hands linked, the few remaining Feminazi Stormtroopers emerged from their shelters and gathered around Barack Hussein Obama. Being women, they naturally began to cry and wail, begging Obama to give them more VAWA money that they might fend off this vicious assault.

Obama looked around and gently shook his head. The last of the VAWA money had been cut off by the Manly Patriarchy of China. There would be no real defense. This was the last gasp of feminism.

Across the battlefield, a low hum slowly grew to a buzz—an indistinct chant channeling all the unbridled fury of millions of men denied the opportunity to watch My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic by evil Best Buy Femanagers—until, finally, the remains of the misandrist forces in the trenches could hear their call clearly:

“Red rover, red rover, won’t you come over?”

Suddenly the chant stopped, and silence settled over the field like the silence of feminists doing anything for men, ever. Just as suddenly, it was broken.

“Red rover, red rover, send Barry over!

cloudiah
11 years ago

You know, they think size and strength are the only considerations, but Macaulay Caulkin did pretty well against two grown men in Home Alone. (Now I am picturing us boobytrapping the manboobzer compounds after the Manpocalypse, and hilarity ensuing.)

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

We seem to have a variety of talents, and I bet it would be a lot of fun in between fighting off inept MRA attacks.

cloudiah, you’ve hit on something here. The MRAs are the zombies. They just haven’t figured out that all they need to do is groan “Brains! Brains!” instead of writing endless screeds to show how much they need ’em.

cloudiah
11 years ago

And I see Tulgey is being hilarious again. Carry on.

Brandi
Brandi
11 years ago

I like how they think all women will need these big, strong men to protect them but then turn around and whine about how badly they need guns to protect themselves. You guys think a woman can’t pull a trigger? I could teach my cats how to do that if I tried hard enough….or not very hard at all.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

patterrsonn – ah, now I get it! 🙂

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

until I’d bored the pants off a statue, so I’ll stop here.

Hey, I can think of some statues I wouldn’t mind seeing pantsless. 😉

pecunium
11 years ago

patterssonn: If it makes you more comfortable, and you are confident in its application, go for it. Me, I prefer things I can keep ready to hand, and honestly, someone in my house has all sorts of problems.

Out of doors carrying a golf-club has all sort of problems; not least, insofar as most of the US is concerned, the question of intent. Since golf-clubs aren’t standard items of carry it tends to make cops think one went looking for trouble.

The same is doubly-true of that weighted monkey-fist. If a cop decided it was a blackjack/sap you are looking, in many jurisdictions, at a felony rap.

But I have some strong opinions about what makes for a good weapon to have about oneself on a regular basis. That comes of a lifetime of worrying about/teaching the subject.

It’s not that I’m againast defending oneself, or weapons, per se, but I do think that having tools one can avoid the presumption of a non-defense mindset makes life easier; because it’s the cops’ opinion which is going to determine if you have to hire someone like Marc MacYoung, or me, to explain that it really was self-defense.

Given that self-defense is a hard claim to prove (like all affirmative defenses it requires showing certain aspects of state of mind; and things which imply pre-meditation of being aggressive/violent are strongly impeaching), I prefer to have things with me, all the time, which are innocuous/normal so that I can argue it was spur of the moment.

Polliwog: Brass knucks tend to be light. What they give you is something rigid, and narrow. That protects your knuckles, and narrows the area of impact; while reducing the elasticity of the impact.

Ellex
Ellex
11 years ago

Polliwog16: That’s fantastic! Although I can see how, if you have small hands, it might be difficult to use.

Tulgey Logger: bwahahahaha! Brilliant!