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Read this: Guys on OkCupid try to pick up surreal-text-spouting Twitterbot Horse_ebooks

hey, sexy, do u hav skype?
hey, sexy, do u hav skype?

I have Cloudiah to thank (again!) for putting me onto this amazing article about a devious prankster who trolls pickup artists and other lonely horny hearts with a fake OkCupid account … that replies to all come-ons with selections from the ouvre of the legendary horse_ebooks, “the surreal Twitter bot that streams nonsensical snippets of text. The result: dozens of conversations from horny men desperately vying to have sex with a robot.”

And yes, it’s as funny as it sounds, especially when the guys try to use their PUA magic to “game” this imaginary HB10 (Hot Babe 10)  – or should that be HRH10 (Hot Robot Horse 10)? – only to receive responses like “VERY SOME VERY NO VERY SOME VERY CHANCE LITTLE CHANCE GOOD CHANCE LITTLE CHANCE GOOD CHANCE CHANCE CHANCE CHANCE  , NAVAL” and “CHAMPION CHAMPION CHAMPION CHAMPION CHAMPION CHAMPION CHAMPION CHAMPION Corp. CHAMPION Corp. CHAMPION Corp. CHAMPION CHAMPION CHAMPION CHAMPION.”

And of course the guys keep trying.

(All this made me wonder if anyone had set up a Gertrude Stein_ebooks account, and … yes, someone has! FOLLOWED!)

Anyway, you all need to go read the post. Check out the Okc_ebooks Tumblr blog for more.

 

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ArchaeoHolmes
ArchaeoHolmes
11 years ago

I have been lurking for a while, and just wanted to let you all know I have been laughing and laughing reading this blog. The MRAs get in to every news thread and make me really depressed, this site is such a tonic. The thing about chairs being misandry was so absurd, I love it. Also loved the one about the MRA annoyed because he wasn’t allowed to be a Big Brother. Also, love kittens. Much love

lowquacks
lowquacks
11 years ago

Yeah, I’m kinda curious about what was going through their heads. Were they cognizant they were chatting with a bot, and just playing with it? (People do that. It’s one of those things that really bugs me, for irrational reasons.)

Robots are people too! Robot rights for all! Call me robotist but I’d rather the PUAs keep their attention that way.

@Katz

A friend of my younger brother actually took that picture of young Stalin into a hairdresser, who copied the hairstyle very well. He’s small and bright-eyed, with a very patchy beard, and his Macedonian-Anglo genes definitely ended up making him look Caucasian. It was a close likeness and very offputting until he got another haircut.

It’s hard for me to separate the look from the person, personally, but my love of beards and strong parted hair leads me to personally prefer Stalin’s look a few years later, rather than the one in the photo everyone gushes over.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

That is a good photo, lowquacks. I think this was the first one of him as a young man I saw:

http://flashyourstache.files.wordpress.com/2007/12/stalin-2.jpg

Gods know what he was thinking with fur hat haircut:

http://russianbrideguide.com/img/stalin.jpg

lowquacks
lowquacks
11 years ago

The standard picture used in “omg young Stalin was so hot” discussions seems to be this one.

katz
11 years ago

Lowquacks, was your brother’s friend a fan of Stalin, or did he just like the look?

lowquacks
lowquacks
11 years ago

Katz

Just liked the look, I’m reasonably sure. His older brother, my friend, was a fan of the Spanish anarchists, which I think was a family thing and would suggest anti-Stalinism? Stalin’s not very likable as it is.

Still a reasonably tasteless move.

lowquacks
lowquacks
11 years ago

Well, “brought down by” Stalin’s probably not quite accurate, but his “aid” and agendas certainly took over the leftist Republican groups.

lowquacks
lowquacks
11 years ago

@ArchaeoHolmes

Hello, welcome, and thank you!

Tina
Tina
11 years ago

I read Milo’s “article”. Either I’m getting better at recognizing this stuff or these guys are being more honest and obvious.

ArchaeoHolmes
ArchaeoHolmes
11 years ago

I am new and just going through the archives at the moment. I know it is off-topic, but want to mention I just read the imaginary sexbots post. The site is a treasure trove of surrealism.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

ArchaeoHolmes — has anyone given you your complimentary hard chair, matching bath towels and SCENTED MOTHERFUCKING CANDLES? If not, here you go!

Kitties, puppies, other adorable animals, these can be obtained frequently throughout the comments (and sometimes the post)

…and as for animals, one of my cories just managed to get stuck behind air line tubbing for a second. *shoots to surface, shoots back down* OH NO I’M STUCK!! *wiggle wiggle wiggle* FREE!! *shoots to bottom of tank* /narration of fish chaos

drst
drst
11 years ago

You know, I’ve had an OKC account for many years, and I’ve never encountered a male profile that was a bot. Elderly Nazis hitting on me, yes*, but no male bots. I wonder if it’s like the Twitter spambots that frequently have photos of attractive young women as their icons. I don’t recall seeing one with a hot young guy photo.

There’s a thought buried in there, but I’m sick and too tired to dig it out.

(* – dude who was old enough to be my father messaged me and informed me his favorite movie was “Triumph of the Will.” ALL TRUE STORIES.)

emilygoddess
emilygoddess
11 years ago

If I ever find myself dating via OKC again, this will actually be really useful information. It doesn’t matter what you say to these guys, they’re gonna ignore everything about you and just beg for sex anyway, so you might as well just ignore or block them right off the bat. Ugh, and the troll on the “Nice Guy” video thread was demanding that we prove that male entitlement is a thing…

Kakanian
Kakanian
11 years ago

So… somebody could theoretically set up a web crawler to register pick up lines from PUA pages and feed them into another agent that automatically blocks messages containing them on OKC?

That would really be using the Power of Google for good.

Shadow
Shadow
11 years ago

one of my cories just managed to get stuck behind air line tubbing for a second. *shoots to surface, shoots back down* OH NO I’M STUCK!! *wiggle wiggle wiggle* FREE!! *shoots to bottom of tank* /narration of fish chaos

Finding Nemo 2?

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

After Nemo the blizzard, I hope not! (Never saw the movie >.< )

FGFM (@FGFM)
11 years ago

This is my new favorite blog.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Welcome, ArchaeoHolmes! Love your handle. 🙂

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

@Kakanian – I’d like to see something that just fed PUAs profiles to each other on OKC and such sites. Imagine if all they ever got was other PUAs saying “I’m going to fuck you, baby, I won’t take no for an answer!”

ArchaeoHolmes
ArchaeoHolmes
11 years ago

Thanks for your welcomes lowquacks and the kittehs. Very happy to be here.

ArchaeoHolmes
ArchaeoHolmes
11 years ago

Oh, and thanks Argenti too. I’m amazed scented candles and chairs are legal under the UN human rights convention, frankly

WordSpinner
WordSpinner
11 years ago

So Rebecca Watson posts about a sixteen year-old atheist activist who endured harassment from her community when she forced them to take down a prayer banner (Jessica Alquist, who is my hero despite being six years younger than me) who was told on Facebook to post to Sexy Atheists and why that is wrong. (See here http://skepchick.org/2012/02/seeing-the-patriarchy/)

And then someone calling herself a traditional women’s rights’ activist decides that the cause of men telling sixteen year olds to post to sexy facebook pages is caused by the lack of Patriarchy, because men will always be in charge. I have not read such a steaming pile of horseshit since… well, since the last time Manboobz updated.

Here that is if you want:

http://femininemystiquetwra.wordpress.com/2013/02/16/rebecca-watson-seeing-the-decline-of-patriarchy/

My “favorite” bits were when she claimed that men will always be more powerful (tell that to the Na!) and that women were protected because they didn’t have to work outside the home, ignoring the fact that only applied to very few women in certain historical contexts and that there was an awful amount of work to be done in the home so that men could go out and work outside it.

LBT
LBT
11 years ago

RE: Kittehs

No, it’s just the concept of low-stress early twenties that boggles me. Like, intellectually, of course, I understand that most people don’t end up semi-homeless and batshit in a nail-studded crawl space at twenty-five… but part of me is like, “HOW DO THEY DO IT? WHAT IS THEIR SECRET?” (Like it’s a matter of, I dunno, putting the right cheat code into the Life Machine.)

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Ah, gotcha.

I guess it starts earlier than the twenties to land someone in that situation, though … I guess the secret is that horrible things didn’t happen to them!

Yoyo
Yoyo
11 years ago

To kitteh and LBT, I could always spot north shore boys (even into adulthood), there was always a sense of entitlement and confidence because no-one had ever pulled the ladder out from under them. I suppose they were right because the old boys network WOULD keep looking after them probably for the rest of their lives.