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Read this: Guys on OkCupid try to pick up surreal-text-spouting Twitterbot Horse_ebooks

hey, sexy, do u hav skype?
hey, sexy, do u hav skype?

I have Cloudiah to thank (again!) for putting me onto this amazing article about a devious prankster who trolls pickup artists and other lonely horny hearts with a fake OkCupid account … that replies to all come-ons with selections from the ouvre of the legendary horse_ebooks, “the surreal Twitter bot that streams nonsensical snippets of text. The result: dozens of conversations from horny men desperately vying to have sex with a robot.”

And yes, it’s as funny as it sounds, especially when the guys try to use their PUA magic to “game” this imaginary HB10 (Hot Babe 10)  – or should that be HRH10 (Hot Robot Horse 10)? – only to receive responses like “VERY SOME VERY NO VERY SOME VERY CHANCE LITTLE CHANCE GOOD CHANCE LITTLE CHANCE GOOD CHANCE CHANCE CHANCE CHANCE  , NAVAL” and “CHAMPION CHAMPION CHAMPION CHAMPION CHAMPION CHAMPION CHAMPION CHAMPION Corp. CHAMPION Corp. CHAMPION Corp. CHAMPION CHAMPION CHAMPION CHAMPION.”

And of course the guys keep trying.

(All this made me wonder if anyone had set up a Gertrude Stein_ebooks account, and … yes, someone has! FOLLOWED!)

Anyway, you all need to go read the post. Check out the Okc_ebooks Tumblr blog for more.

 

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katz
8 years ago

My favorite one is this one, where the guy figures out that it’s sending random replies and is just like “That could be sexy.”

Falconer
8 years ago

On the internet, nobody can tell you’re a nonsensical twitterbot.

So do these guys on OKC fail the Turing test?

hellkell
hellkell
8 years ago

PUAs really will try to hump the leg of whatever, just like annoying little dogs.

neuroticbeagle
neuroticbeagle
8 years ago

Oooh look! Sexbots ARE real! But since the menz still aren’t getting laid…could this be a feminist sexbot? Oh the misandry!!

Some Gal Not Bored at All

@hellkell

I think the little dogs might have more variety in their approaches than the PUAs do, though.

Baroncognito
8 years ago

I think this one is my favourite: http://okcebooks.tumblr.com/post/42707415307/rub-ratings-to-two-decimal-places

I mean, five sig figs of “rub rating”?

Monster
8 years ago

Oh my goodness. One of those guys messaged me when I had an OKC account.
So much lol.

Ruby Dy Namite
8 years ago

Thought you might want to check out this link – it’s an article of a guy whinging about guys supposedly whinging about why there aren’t more women on the tech talk circuit (he uses language that definitely screams MRA to me): http://www.kernelmag.com/yiannopoulos/4115/put-a-sock-in-it-you-dickless-wonders/

Falconer
8 years ago

“Rub ratings” !!

Oh god I’m scaring the cat I’m laughing so loud.

Baroncognito
8 years ago

Doesn’t every guy get turned on by Stalin. We sit on the couch and whisper ‘Baby, tell me about the pograms.”

Kiwi girl
Kiwi girl
8 years ago

Ah, that explains why every year on our anniversary my partner wants me to sign off on a 5-year plan.

katz
8 years ago

I thought Vladimir Putin was the one everyone gets turned on by.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

That Stalin one with its Heidegger reference:

“Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar
Who could think you under the table”

A random Python quotes generator might be interesting too. Bet half those PUAs would never get it.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

katz – only cos Stalin isn’t around any more. 😀

Baroncognito
8 years ago

Well, Katz, it is true that there are a lot more topless photos of Putin, but he doesn’t have a mustache.

katz
8 years ago

But Putin shot a whale with a crossbow. FOR SCIENCE.

cloudiah
8 years ago

Every time I delve into that tumblr I end up laughing until I cry.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

He’s just overcompensating for not being as cute as Young Stalin.

katz
8 years ago

Few of us can aspire to be as cute as young Stalin.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

Putin’s PR stunts are totally ruining my ability to see him as the Patrician, which was the first impression he made.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Putin as Vetinari? The mind boggles! 😀

Though Vetinari was good at scaling walls and stuff in the Assassin days of his yoof.

LBT
LBT
8 years ago

Oh my god.

I admit the troll in me has kind of wanted to make an OKC or something profile just to see what happens, but now I don’t need to. I have this.

Praise be to Manboobz.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

It was the former KGB thing that did it, plus he just looks rather calculating. I guess you really need PR stunts if you have a face that says “you would have to be a complete idiot to trust me”.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

LOL true!

I’m waiting for a Photoshopped version of his topless pics to appear. Can’t have the chap looking middle-aged after all.

pillow in hell
pillow in hell
8 years ago

Oy vey, that tech article!

In between the “there are more important things to dicuss”, the numerous uses of the word vagina to replace the word women… And why can’t these guys get it through their heads that men actually enjoy being around women as people? That there are men who feel that they know women who have something to contribute besides increased bloodflow to the penile region?

As for the bot, really? Like really? There’s enough crap to wade through on dating sites without the bot screwing around.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

pillow in hell – but is the person using the bot targetting anyone except fuckwit PUA bots?

pillow in hell
pillow in hell
8 years ago

Dunno kitty. Its a good question.

As for the “what will give me a good chance to give you an orgasm” guy? EW.

Him swearing on all the holy things to never contact me again would probably leave me very satisfied without the orgasm.

Bagelsan
Bagelsan
8 years ago

And why can’t these guys get it through their heads that men actually enjoy being around women as people?

There’s a guy like this who works with my boyfriend. He complained that his girlfriend wanted to spend time with him on weekends, and acted like this was a huge imposition; he legitimately wasn’t sure why you would spend time with a woman other than money or sex.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

@Bagelsan – I’d be inclined to ask why on earth his girlfriend would want to spend any time with him, since that’s his attitude. Ugh.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

How does this person even have a girlfriend? I’d be inclined to take her aside for a bit of a pep talk.

pillow in hell
pillow in hell
8 years ago

My guess is that the girlfriend just hasn’t had enough relationships yet to realize what’s going on. I dated a couple guys like that when I first started dating.

It won’t take her long to figure out though.

Or, maybe she was originally looking for just sex and really fell for him…

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Maybe his girlfriend’s of the inflatable variety and his mates hid a recording of a woman saying “Let’s spend more time together!” in his house. 😉

pillow in hell
pillow in hell
8 years ago

Lol Kitteh!

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

Programming people’s Real Dolls to say all the stuff that they hate it when women say would be the best prank ever.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

It’s like all that twaddle the “we need sexbots” idiots come out with. The minute those sexbots had sentience, their little fantasy bubble would burst.

Yoyo
Yoyo
8 years ago

Really really interesting article about why a guy stopped being a misogenist tool. ( of course the thread following was derailed by a misogenist tool). David this is one I think you would be interested in.
http://freethoughtblogs.com/crommunist/2013/02/15/new-required-reading-confessions-of-a-former-misogynist/#comment-134272
About to catch a plane. Kisses all. 😉

Peter
8 years ago

Oh, HB10. You’re ten-thousand candles in the wind.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Safe trip, Yoyo!

mxe354
mxe354
8 years ago

“Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar
Who could think you under the table”

yesyesyes

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart
“I drink, therefore I am”

😀

LBT
LBT
8 years ago

RE: pillow in hell

As for the bot, really? Like really? There’s enough crap to wade through on dating sites without the bot screwing around.

Yeah, I can see how it’d be annoying, but if I were to run into a bot on that site, I’d probably respond the way I do to all bots that pop up on my IM. Resignation, some annoyance, but I’d figure it out pretty quickly. (And those bots actually TRY to hold a conversation.)

I mean, that’s just GIBBERISH. Half the time, it doesn’t even parse. I would just leave after maybe a line or two of that. If someone just continues engaging, I don’t have that much sympathy for them. (Especially when it’s CREEPY. Like, if it was someone honestly not getting what was going on, I’d feel bad, but when it’s just, “let’s fuck” enh. I guess I’m a callous bastard.)

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Same here about being callous where those guys are concerned, LBT. They treat women as some sort of programmable fucktoys in real life, so who gives a damn if they’re stupid enough to be fooled by a bot on the net?

LBT
LBT
8 years ago

RE: Kittehs

Yeah, I’m kinda curious about what was going through their heads. Were they cognizant they were chatting with a bot, and just playing with it? (People do that. It’s one of those things that really bugs me, for irrational reasons.) Were they so detached from reality that they seriously thought it was a woman just playing with them?

Probably some of both.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

It makes sense when you remember that they think women are an alien species. They don’t expect us to make any sense, so the bot is what they assume women are going to sound like, and at least the bot wasn’t telling them to fuck off like most real users probably do.

neuroticbeagle
neuroticbeagle
8 years ago

I don’t think most of the guys realized it was a bot. One guy even mentioned how “all conversations are exactly the same on dating websites”. Really dude? Really? Now I don’t use online dating services, but I suspect that most conversations are not about “shaping the young watermelon”.

http://24.media.tumblr.com/82eac34c2ceefc39ad3462199539b031/tumblr_mhx919NPFv1s460fko1_500.png

Neurite
Neurite
8 years ago

Cassandra Says: “Programming people’s Real Dolls to say all the stuff that they hate it when women say would be the best prank ever.”

We need to get these guys on that, stat.

LBT
LBT
8 years ago

RE: CassandraSays

It makes sense when you remember that they think women are an alien species.

Sometimes, humanity boggles me. I feel this way with people who apparently just float through their early twenties without stress, trial, or poverty, and I feel this way about people who see men and women as such alien entities.

I mean, I realize not everyone has a mother or sister, but surely you knew A woman at some point in your life? Surely you noticed they were behaving like humans, and not a demented sexbot?

How do you navigate through life so completely unaware of shit? (And yes, I know confirmation bias and crap but STILL.)

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

Did you see the video of Peter Andrew Nolan in the courtroom? I imagine it’s a bit like that, but with random women instead of a judge.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Neurite – the BLO, love it! 😀

LBT – “Sometimes, humanity boggles me. I feel this way with people who apparently just float through their early twenties without stress, trial, or poverty” Well, my twenties were very low stress and nothing much I’d call a trials or poverty. I was working all through them and the trials were minor – I was in the public service and in those days, when departments got closed, they had to redeploy you. Some people’s lives are low-key and pretty much free of the shit stuff. Or is it just the unawareness of your life being fairly insulated that you’re referring to?