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Read this: Guys on OkCupid try to pick up surreal-text-spouting Twitterbot Horse_ebooks

hey, sexy, do u hav skype?
hey, sexy, do u hav skype?

I have Cloudiah to thank (again!) for putting me onto this amazing article about a devious prankster who trolls pickup artists and other lonely horny hearts with a fake OkCupid account … that replies to all come-ons with selections from the ouvre of the legendary horse_ebooks, “the surreal Twitter bot that streams nonsensical snippets of text. The result: dozens of conversations from horny men desperately vying to have sex with a robot.”

And yes, it’s as funny as it sounds, especially when the guys try to use their PUA magic to “game” this imaginary HB10 (Hot Babe 10)  – or should that be HRH10 (Hot Robot Horse 10)? – only to receive responses like “VERY SOME VERY NO VERY SOME VERY CHANCE LITTLE CHANCE GOOD CHANCE LITTLE CHANCE GOOD CHANCE CHANCE CHANCE CHANCE  , NAVAL” and “CHAMPION CHAMPION CHAMPION CHAMPION CHAMPION CHAMPION CHAMPION CHAMPION Corp. CHAMPION Corp. CHAMPION Corp. CHAMPION CHAMPION CHAMPION CHAMPION.”

And of course the guys keep trying.

(All this made me wonder if anyone had set up a Gertrude Stein_ebooks account, and … yes, someone has! FOLLOWED!)

Anyway, you all need to go read the post. Check out the Okc_ebooks Tumblr blog for more.

 

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ArchaeoHolmes
ArchaeoHolmes
7 years ago

I have been lurking for a while, and just wanted to let you all know I have been laughing and laughing reading this blog. The MRAs get in to every news thread and make me really depressed, this site is such a tonic. The thing about chairs being misandry was so absurd, I love it. Also loved the one about the MRA annoyed because he wasn’t allowed to be a Big Brother. Also, love kittens. Much love

lowquacks
lowquacks
7 years ago

Yeah, I’m kinda curious about what was going through their heads. Were they cognizant they were chatting with a bot, and just playing with it? (People do that. It’s one of those things that really bugs me, for irrational reasons.)

Robots are people too! Robot rights for all! Call me robotist but I’d rather the PUAs keep their attention that way.

@Katz

A friend of my younger brother actually took that picture of young Stalin into a hairdresser, who copied the hairstyle very well. He’s small and bright-eyed, with a very patchy beard, and his Macedonian-Anglo genes definitely ended up making him look Caucasian. It was a close likeness and very offputting until he got another haircut.

It’s hard for me to separate the look from the person, personally, but my love of beards and strong parted hair leads me to personally prefer Stalin’s look a few years later, rather than the one in the photo everyone gushes over.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

That is a good photo, lowquacks. I think this was the first one of him as a young man I saw:

http://flashyourstache.files.wordpress.com/2007/12/stalin-2.jpg

Gods know what he was thinking with fur hat haircut:

http://russianbrideguide.com/img/stalin.jpg

lowquacks
lowquacks
7 years ago

The standard picture used in “omg young Stalin was so hot” discussions seems to be this one.

katz
7 years ago

Lowquacks, was your brother’s friend a fan of Stalin, or did he just like the look?

lowquacks
lowquacks
7 years ago

Katz

Just liked the look, I’m reasonably sure. His older brother, my friend, was a fan of the Spanish anarchists, which I think was a family thing and would suggest anti-Stalinism? Stalin’s not very likable as it is.

Still a reasonably tasteless move.

lowquacks
lowquacks
7 years ago

Well, “brought down by” Stalin’s probably not quite accurate, but his “aid” and agendas certainly took over the leftist Republican groups.

lowquacks
lowquacks
7 years ago

@ArchaeoHolmes

Hello, welcome, and thank you!

Tina
Tina
7 years ago

I read Milo’s “article”. Either I’m getting better at recognizing this stuff or these guys are being more honest and obvious.

ArchaeoHolmes
ArchaeoHolmes
7 years ago

I am new and just going through the archives at the moment. I know it is off-topic, but want to mention I just read the imaginary sexbots post. The site is a treasure trove of surrealism.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
7 years ago

ArchaeoHolmes — has anyone given you your complimentary hard chair, matching bath towels and SCENTED MOTHERFUCKING CANDLES? If not, here you go!

Kitties, puppies, other adorable animals, these can be obtained frequently throughout the comments (and sometimes the post)

…and as for animals, one of my cories just managed to get stuck behind air line tubbing for a second. *shoots to surface, shoots back down* OH NO I’M STUCK!! *wiggle wiggle wiggle* FREE!! *shoots to bottom of tank* /narration of fish chaos

drst
drst
7 years ago

You know, I’ve had an OKC account for many years, and I’ve never encountered a male profile that was a bot. Elderly Nazis hitting on me, yes*, but no male bots. I wonder if it’s like the Twitter spambots that frequently have photos of attractive young women as their icons. I don’t recall seeing one with a hot young guy photo.

There’s a thought buried in there, but I’m sick and too tired to dig it out.

(* – dude who was old enough to be my father messaged me and informed me his favorite movie was “Triumph of the Will.” ALL TRUE STORIES.)

emilygoddess
emilygoddess
7 years ago

If I ever find myself dating via OKC again, this will actually be really useful information. It doesn’t matter what you say to these guys, they’re gonna ignore everything about you and just beg for sex anyway, so you might as well just ignore or block them right off the bat. Ugh, and the troll on the “Nice Guy” video thread was demanding that we prove that male entitlement is a thing…

Kakanian
Kakanian
7 years ago

So… somebody could theoretically set up a web crawler to register pick up lines from PUA pages and feed them into another agent that automatically blocks messages containing them on OKC?

That would really be using the Power of Google for good.

Shadow
Shadow
7 years ago

one of my cories just managed to get stuck behind air line tubbing for a second. *shoots to surface, shoots back down* OH NO I’M STUCK!! *wiggle wiggle wiggle* FREE!! *shoots to bottom of tank* /narration of fish chaos

Finding Nemo 2?

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
7 years ago

After Nemo the blizzard, I hope not! (Never saw the movie >.< )

FGFM (@FGFM)
7 years ago

This is my new favorite blog.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Welcome, ArchaeoHolmes! Love your handle. 🙂

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

@Kakanian – I’d like to see something that just fed PUAs profiles to each other on OKC and such sites. Imagine if all they ever got was other PUAs saying “I’m going to fuck you, baby, I won’t take no for an answer!”

ArchaeoHolmes
ArchaeoHolmes
7 years ago

Thanks for your welcomes lowquacks and the kittehs. Very happy to be here.

ArchaeoHolmes
ArchaeoHolmes
7 years ago

Oh, and thanks Argenti too. I’m amazed scented candles and chairs are legal under the UN human rights convention, frankly

WordSpinner
WordSpinner
7 years ago

So Rebecca Watson posts about a sixteen year-old atheist activist who endured harassment from her community when she forced them to take down a prayer banner (Jessica Alquist, who is my hero despite being six years younger than me) who was told on Facebook to post to Sexy Atheists and why that is wrong. (See here http://skepchick.org/2012/02/seeing-the-patriarchy/)

And then someone calling herself a traditional women’s rights’ activist decides that the cause of men telling sixteen year olds to post to sexy facebook pages is caused by the lack of Patriarchy, because men will always be in charge. I have not read such a steaming pile of horseshit since… well, since the last time Manboobz updated.

Here that is if you want:

http://femininemystiquetwra.wordpress.com/2013/02/16/rebecca-watson-seeing-the-decline-of-patriarchy/

My “favorite” bits were when she claimed that men will always be more powerful (tell that to the Na!) and that women were protected because they didn’t have to work outside the home, ignoring the fact that only applied to very few women in certain historical contexts and that there was an awful amount of work to be done in the home so that men could go out and work outside it.

LBT
LBT
7 years ago

RE: Kittehs

No, it’s just the concept of low-stress early twenties that boggles me. Like, intellectually, of course, I understand that most people don’t end up semi-homeless and batshit in a nail-studded crawl space at twenty-five… but part of me is like, “HOW DO THEY DO IT? WHAT IS THEIR SECRET?” (Like it’s a matter of, I dunno, putting the right cheat code into the Life Machine.)

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Ah, gotcha.

I guess it starts earlier than the twenties to land someone in that situation, though … I guess the secret is that horrible things didn’t happen to them!

Yoyo
Yoyo
7 years ago

To kitteh and LBT, I could always spot north shore boys (even into adulthood), there was always a sense of entitlement and confidence because no-one had ever pulled the ladder out from under them. I suppose they were right because the old boys network WOULD keep looking after them probably for the rest of their lives.

Kiwi girl
Kiwi girl
7 years ago

Yep, apple bread is totally A Thing: http://www.yummly.com/recipe/Apple-Wheat-Bread-_bread-Machine_-Recipezaar

I’m down to one egg before partner does the shopping, otherwise I would be making apple muffins instead. But all my apple recipes call for two large eggs. 🙁

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

That’s very interesting about the confidence, Yoyo – I don’t think I gave it a thought about other people seeming entitled, because I didn’t think about other people that much (still don’t in day to day matters). Looking back I know I was brought up without any expectations of getting tertiary education, or a career rather than a job, and there was sure as hell no support network out there.

LBT
LBT
7 years ago

Yeah, I dunno, there’s just this odd… security in some folks. Like they just KNOW it’ll never happen to them, and I’m always boggled that it’s never been challenged. (I mean, I used to be like that. But then I came out. It was all downhill from there.) It’s like, “How? How do you do it? How can I do it?”

emilygoddess
emilygoddess
7 years ago

Kiwi Girl, I googled “egg substitute for muffins” and came up with a bunch of options – maybe one of them would work for you?

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Now that insecurity I do get, LBT. Even without having had anything horrible happen, I live with the fear (realistic or not) of homelessness hitting me one day, simply because I am fifty, on a low income, and don’t own a home. I seriously do not want to live to old age, because the poverty that could come with that is damnably frightening. (That’s quite apart from the fact I’d much, much sooner the time had come to go Home permanently.)

Kiwi girl
Kiwi girl
7 years ago

🙂 I just baked a cake so I want to be lazy and use the breadmaker. I found, this and it sounds nice: http://www.food.com/recipe/apple-wheat-bread-bread-machine-357191

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

PS “unstable housing” sounds like “living in an earthquake zone” more than anything else!

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

I have a cat here who is

demanding attention

complaining when she gets attention

running around hiding behind the furniture

coming out and bashing me with her tail when I don’t chase her around the furniture

purring and grumping simultaneously when cuddled

starting it all over again

… in other words, just bein’ a kitty.

LBT
LBT
7 years ago

RE: Kittehs

I can’t imagine anything close to that far in the future. I made it to twenty-five. I will find a way to continue as long as I can, and then one day, I won’t. My job is to extend that ‘will’ as far as it’ll go. (And retirement? Lolz. No such thing.)

If nothing else, at least I’ll leave a lot of good stories behind me!

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Yeah, I wasn’t thinking of retirement age when I was in my twenties, for sure. But at fifty it does come to mind. I’ll work as long as I’m able, because the pension is way below the poverty line (though it’s still more than unemployment payments), but if I lose my current job, I’ll be in deep shit trying to find another. Unemployment’s rising fast in Victoria, partly because our fuckwit state government won’t spend any money on major projects or infrastructure – their “policy” is not to do so until next year, which is an election year. Unbelievably stupid … how can they not see that having a solid record of jobs creation is one thing most likely to get them reelected? They’re likely to get booted out because they’ve been totally do-nothing. Even the dreaded Jeff Kennett has said they’re hopeless, and they’re his party.

OT here is a picture of the Attention Demanding Cat. It’s the only one I got this morning when she didn’t move her head exactly as I pressed the shutter!

LBT
LBT
7 years ago

Aw, kitty. And yeah, I can hear the job fears. Our ma is/was (haven’t checked in while) a pharmaceutical rep, which in our country prefers the young. She was always in a panic about getting a job.

My future is planned out as far as “move out by June. Also, make multi lecture in Ohio???” I AM GENIUS.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Fingers crossed that the move goes well, and everything else, too!

LBT
LBT
7 years ago

RE: Kitehs

*laughs* I’ll have to find a place to move TO, first. But I’m sure it will!

Also, OT but relevant to the boobzers here; I just read a book today that actually gave me the D: reaction. It was about child abuse (always cheery, I know, I should know better), with an extremely neglectful mother and physical/verbal abusive and neglectful father.

The father was of course, the royal dick of the story, but at the end, the sixteen-year-old daughter (who was literally RUNNING THE HOUSE as best she could for a few months because the mother just LEFT and ran across the country) was told to be more understanding of her mom, because her mom was a victim too. Just… what? WHAT? This is a woman who literally LEFT HER CHILDREN alone, without money, without any resources for months, and we’re expected to just… forgive her?

>:[ It just pissed me off is all. Freaking book.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Yike! What was the title? I want to avoid it.

Bagelsan
Bagelsan
7 years ago

I have a good safety network, but it’s not old boys or family friends or anything, it’s purely the efforts/luck of my parents. If they live they’ll be employed, which means they can give me monies as needed, and if they die I get monies for that. I like to think I don’t act entitled about it; the only time I’ve really gone limp and let the safety network catch me was when I depression-sploded wildly out of grad school and independent living into having to live at home.

LBT
LBT
7 years ago

RE: Kittehs

It was, “Don’t You Dare Read This, Mrs. Dumphrey.” A shame, because I actually kinda liked it, and could connect to it… but that ending, “Forgive the woman who DITCHED YOU BROKE AND ALONE WITH A SMALL CHILD TO CARE FOR,” thing really honked me off.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

::takes note of book title::

themisanthropicmuse
7 years ago

@WordSpinner:

I ran across that nut before on a facebook page (she used the same icon and everything) and I remember her bizarre and putrid notion that women and their children should BE OWNED BY MEN and that those men have the right to do whatever they want to them. I wish she were a troll but I think she’s serious. I’ve seen a few others like her and they were into 24 hr slave/dom type relationships but thought that would make a great norm. You know, because if they like living as human slaves then well, I guess all women should… ughh. Makes me ill.

themisanthropicmuse
7 years ago

I am so sorry for my use of the word ‘nut’. I didn’t mean to hurt anyone’s feelings and would remove it from the comment if I could. If it makes anyone feel any better I am not neurotypical myself plus I am pretty wasted on wine right now and probably should have waited to type until I had cooled off. That lady makes me want to bang my head into a brick wall.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
7 years ago

Insert wing before your nut and it works, she’s certainly a wingnut 🙂

…I just dropped my phone, nearly in the garbage, when my pill reminder dinged >.<

I’m throwing shit and can barely type since my fingers have gone from screaming at me and my violin to just plain numb — g’night guys!

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Niters!

LBT
LBT
7 years ago

RE: themisanthropicmuse

Oh god, I’ve run into those 24/7 TPE evangelists. They scare the living shit out of me. MY KINK IS NOT YOUR KINK. I’d rather be free to LEAVE my partner, kthxbai.