A veritable anthem for average looking guys with nothing particularly interesting about them who are pissed off they can’t date women much more conventionally attractive than they are.
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We Hunted The MammothBucking the Backlash
Yeah, Melody imma second everyone elses advice.
Also, I’m not a fan of having my pic taken for any reason. The fact that dude wants pics that you weren’t willing to give when together is…strange. To say the least.
Also, if you’re lonely but you aren’t leaping to get back together with this guy tells you something. You don’t necessarily need to know what that something is and you don’t have to justify your lack of interest. Perhaps the best solution here is to continue dating and maybe figure out what you can try to make yourself stand out a little better to the type of men you DO want to date.
In the meantime, find something mind absorbing to focus on so you don’t notice that bitt of missing something quite so much.
Brz…I really don’t give a shit about the lack of appropriate words in other languages for womens genitalia. In english we have two perfectly acceptable words: vagina or vulva. Take your pick.
Also, that Arabic uses pretty sounding euphimisms for womens body parts makes me give it the side eye a bit. Are they so circumspect with all body parts, both male and female? Also, I don’t give a shit about pretty language if its only there to cover up the lack of choice or opportunity women may have had in choosing partners, when and if they wanted sex, or the type of sex acts they wished to freely engage in.
All of that being said, I’m not aware of how Arabic cultures dealt with gender issues in this time period, so I will refrain from automatically assuming the worst.
Cracked had a great bit unpacking why Rick Springfield’s Jessie’s Girl is such a bad song, and I think it fits perfectly here…
http://www.cracked.com/video_18529_4-important-questions-about-dumbest-song-80s.html
As one of the Women of LA (Westwood chapter), I wouldn’t sleep with him because the sweaty desperation to get laid surrounds him like a fetid mix of garlic breath and body odor and it’s kryptonite to any woman with a couple of brain cells. And that’s real.
“In english we have two perfectly acceptable words: vagina or vulva. Take your pick.”
“What a wonderful vulva you have? Can I see your vagina?”
Yeah, sounds very clinical. I prefer “pink clam” “Can I taste your pink clam?” Sounds better.
“Bab Al-Rahma” is not an euphemism, it is a beautiful periphrasis. “Homeless”, “sex worker” for example are euphemisms, all euphemism are clinical and ugly.
in what world does “Can I taste your pink clam?” sound better????
I can’t picture someone saying that seriously, let alone *seductively*.
Oh yeah, “door of graciousness” is so pretty if you ignore the implication that the woman’s being ungracious if she doesn’t allow the man in – and ignore what happens to women in too many socieities in that region if they make their own choices about what man they want. Or, for that matter, if they’re forced.
Why so scared of “vagina” and “vulva”, eh? Oh, btw, biology lesson, you can’t actually see a vagina. It’s an internal organ, only the entrance is visible. Men who need to use euphemisms or insults about women’s genitals sound either immature or misogynistic or both, to me.
Actually, I would find it intensely erotic if a guy I was with actually knew the difference between vulva and vagina, and could use them in a sentence correctly.
It seems like Brz not only doesn’t know how to do that (unless he has a speculum), he also doesn’t know what a euphemism is. Tip: Something can be both a periphrasis and a euphemism. And in no world ever are “homeless” or “sex worker” euphemisms. They’re both very explicit terms that in no way hide the negative aspects that the terms convey. Sex worker connotes that we’re talking about a person who is doing work and thus has rights, so in that way is preferable to “prostitute,” but it’s not a euphemism. Try “lady of the night,” “on the streets” (which are both euphemisms and periphrases), “displaced,” or “mobile.”
Wait, maybe Brz means bears! What are men supposed to do with bears?
If someone said “Can I taste your pink clam” to me, I would not be able to stop laughing. Ever.
@cloudiah,
me either! I am trying to think of a scenario where someone would ask to taste my pink clam and I wouldn’t laugh for days.
the only one I can think of is if I decided to cook actual clams someday, and one of them was pink. but even then the wording would be hilarious and weird.
Mr. Snide reads this site, so I’m pretty sure he’s going to break out “pink clam” next sexytimes, and then laugh his head off.
I’d be a) telling him no, because it’s not a term I’d like used about myself, and b) he’d be out the door for having said it. It says “Man not comfortable with women’s bodies and their proper names” and that says “someone I don’t want around!”
Dude, “pink clam” is neither poetic nor erotic. It is however quite middle school.
I’m trying to think of any foodstuff that is an appropriate euphemism for the vulva…
Nope, none.
I don’t even like the term “eating out” for cunnilingus.
I don’t necessarily *mind* some euphemisms, if they’re not derogatory they can be quite funny. But never, ever, ever sexy.
Dudes… You just can stop making everything vulgar and problematic all the time…
“Men who need to use euphemisms or insults about women’s genitals sound either immature or misogynistic or both, to me.”
An Arabic maxim says “the greatest poetry is the one which lies the most”, they weren’t using sophisticate names to women’s (and men’s) genitals because they were prude (they weren’t), they were doing this because they thought that the beauty of a verse is more on the way to say things that in the things described themselves.
Eroticism lies more in the way to do and say things that in the act himself.
Yeah, it’s one thing if, say, you’re both having a giggle over the silly terms, if that’s the mood (sexytimes or not) – but someone using a term like pink clam seriously, or thinking it’s sexy, or because they’ve a thing about using the real names, would just kill whatever mood there was, for me.
I prefer silly nicknames that are personal. Mr K and I have a couple of those, but that’s the difference: they’re ours.
Damn, time to get the groceries before it gets too scorching out there.
Well, Brz, I’m not interested in being lied to, however poetically, thank you very much. It’s a bullshit maxim anyway; I write and read poetry and beauty isn’t tied to lies, it’s about expressing truth in all the best I’ve read. I would add that trotting out that maxim as support for the “door of graciousness” term suggests you think the term is a lie, which doesn’t say anything good, either.
I used to think to think that ridiculous terms are still better than clinical terms in theses situations, but as I’ve never used English while doing those things, I don’t know what “pink clam” sounds like, I find it funny, so yeah, at least it’s funny.
I’ve never used the words “pénis”, “vagin” or “vulve”, they’re just too cold, childish terms like “zizi”, “bistouquette”, “foufoune” can fit if used with a semi-sarcastic tone.
Well obviously “Can I taste your zizi” just drive the ladies *wild*.
and never is met with “Ziti? I think there’s some in the fridge if you want to heat it up. help yourself!”
“I would add that trotting out that maxim as support for the “door of graciousness” term suggests you think the term is a lie, which doesn’t say anything good, either.”
It’s a lie because we pretend that this piece of flesh is more than what it already is : a piece of flesh. It’s a lie which become true when one believes in it. That’s the beauty of it, I think.
damnit! *drives!
and I can’t say I’ve ever gone, “You know, that was pretty good sex! I wish he’d been a bit more sarcastic though! Not full-on, just… semi-sarcastic. That would have made it GREAT sex.”
sheesh.
Brz sounds like Creosote in Sourcery.
“Well obviously “Can I taste your zizi” just drive the ladies *wild*”
As the word “zizi” names a penis, not many women who will feel involved by such an invitation.
But that’s a funny thing to say, I’m a advocate for more laugh in bed.
thenatfantastic,
there’s this Southern Baptist comedian (I know, I know) named Mark Lowry, and he wrote a song about Song of Songs (the “your hair is like a flock of goats” reminded me of it) and how ridiculous the idioms are to modern-day English speakers. the chorus is horribly catchy, but now in my head this is what Brz sounds like: “Why can’t I say these things? They’re ROMANTIC!”
A lie can never become the truth. But it can become your reality.
And itt is revealing, your “piece of flesh” comment