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For MRAs, Valentine’s Day is “a socially coerced day of hyper-entitlement for a generation of princess leeches.”

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Happy Valentine’s Day Boycott Day! Every year on Valentine’s Day, MRAs around the world unite in a sacred ritual: the annual Valentine’s Day Blaming of the Ladies parade.

For, you see, Valentine’s Day is little more than a plot by the ladies to extract fancy chocolate and diamonds and other pricey romantic goods from the world’s men. That’s why, for the past I’m-not-going-to-look-up-the-number of years, the lady hating radio personality Marc Rudov has been trying to get other men to boycott the holiday to show the ladies of the world what’s what.

And plenty of manosphere dudes, from MRAs to MGTOWers, are happy to join in. I’ve highlighted some of their silliness in previous Valentine’s Day posts here, here and here. But, though I mentioned it, I never really did full justice to the denunciation of V-day that a certain Paul Elam posted on A Voice for Men a couple of years back.

Let’s take a look, shall we?

Elam starts off with a brief statement of his overall thesis:

Valentines Day is to be avoided for what it is; a socially coerced day of hyper-entitlement for a generation of princess leeches.

See card above. (Pretty good, huh? I ACTUALLY FOUND A VALENTINE’S DAY CARD FEATURING A LADY LEECH!!)

[I]f you think loving someone means your wallet comes out while her purse remains closed then you will delighted to know that A Voice for Men will be selling monogrammed knee pads in the near future.  All we need is the circumference of your knees and what sort of flooring is in your bedroom. We expect an endorsement from Joe Biden.

Actually, I just checked the A Voice for Men store, and the promised knee-pads are nowhere to be found. Though the John The Other mugs, sporting “JtO’s signature chainsaw,” look lovely! (And what better symbol of AVFM’s steadfast stance against violence than a lumberjacking tool also famous for its use in cinematic massacres!)

It’s not long before Elam turns his attention to that infamous slogan of a certain jeweler which MRAs seem to think originated as a feminist bumper sticker: “Every Kiss Begins With Kay.”

It would be better to say that every blowjob begins with Kay. After all, those full, moist lips they are promising you on the ad can go in quite a few places, and likely will if the tennis bracelet has enough carats.

That’s right fellas: Forget the old “Whitman’s Sampler” box of chocolates and wilted roses bought at the grocery store on the way home from work because you forgot it was Valentine’s Day. These days. each and every woman in America expects a diamond-encrusted tennis bracelet picked out by a dude who has no idea what sort of jewelry she likes. (Reward: One blowjob, the only one you will get all year.)

But underneath all this is something actually a little darker.  Not all men are getting blowjobs and other forms of sex for the presents on Valentines Day so much as they are getting a reprieve from constant nagging and criticism, if they happen to get the right present.  Nobody wants to talk about it, but Valentines Day, for far too many men, is actually Lighten Up and Don’t be such an Insufferable Bitch Day, but only if you get the present right.

Ah, the Blaming of the Ladies parade is in full swing! Next up, the Entitled Bitches Who Are Sort of Like Winos float, sponsored by A Voice for Men.

It is not just a matter of entitlement, but one of self esteem.  And as most readers of this site already know, anyone who depends someone else making a trip to Zales or FTD in order to feel good about themselves has serious fucking issues.  Feeding that on Valentines Day is like handle a bottle of Jack Daniels to your local sot.

He is only going to come back looking for more, and he won’t quit till his liver gives out.

All this talk of winos gets Elam thinking about the good old days, when he worked with substance abusers, and evidently spent much of his time trying to get them to blame women for all of their problems.

I used to counsel groups of men. It was a tough job getting them to be honest about women because of fears that putting reality on the table would drive women away.  But with time almost all of them came to admit their constant frustrations with the pressures to to keep pleasing their women, especially where it concerns materialism. …

Almost without exception the men who were the most frustrated with financial pressures were also men who had entered those relationships wallet first, making sure Princess felt like a princess every minute of the day.

In other words, they went fishing with stink bait and caught bottom dwellers.  And then they ended up silently stewing over it.

They got exactly what they paid for and nothing less.

What a wonderful counselor you must have been, Paul. So much empathy. So much insight. So much caring.

So, gentlemen, if you want your kisses to begin with Kay, please allow me to suggest a prostitute, or at least a woman that admits that is what she is. They may not actually kiss you, but I am thinking their skills in the fellatio department are considerably more developed. And when they are done they will go away!

How cool is that?

For Elam, every kiss begins with rage.

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Some Gal Not Bored at All

@KittySnide

I think MRAs have a lot of self-loathing issues, so the idea that someone could possibly love them enough to *want* to do nice things for them is unbelievable, and they project it like WHOA onto all women everywhere.

It really is a miserable way to look at things. I don’t think that they believe men really do nice things for each other either. For all their “brotherhood”-type talk and the “going their own way,” all they seem to be able to share with each other is hatred of women. There is some much competition for women is most areas of the manosphere that it seems impossible for them to actually get close to other men. (And the MGTOW compete with how much they are avoiding women.) It is so sad to look at the other human beings around you and have them divided into those you fiercely compete with, and those you simultaneously attempt to trick and avoid being tricked by.

KittySnide
KittySnide
11 years ago

@Some Gal,
I think you’re right! They’ve gotten it into their heads that everyone sucks but especially women, and men are useful for “The Movement” (*throws up in corner*), but actually having friends or enjoying the company of other people is just not something that happens. It’s like the thread, ages ago, when NWO was talking about how he had “the guys” over for beers and they all hung out and laughed at manboobz and told him what to type. It was this very sad “I am guessing what it’s like to hang out with friends, and this is the best idea I can come up with”.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
11 years ago

@thenat and KittySnide – love your descriptions of your Valentine’s Days. Well, apart from the dickheads on the train, that is. Your descriptions sound just like the sort of days Mr K and I spend: not the specific activities, obvs, but the low-key ordinary contented feel, the puttering around doing nothing in particular, or just everyday stuff, and being perfectly happy in each other’s company. Which also goes to what KittySnide said about MRAs like little Wagon Layer here: they know nothing of real couples (of any gender) and think TV is reality. I’d say it’s not even bad romcom they get their notions from, but advertising. All their tropes read like an advertiser’s script with the added sourness of “but I can’t buy those diamond rings/cars/whatever so no woman will have me so they’re all entitled princesses!”

Oh, Wagon Boy: if you’re bisexual and have any relationships with men at all, why do you care about what women are like? Are you feeling guilty because you’re not that interested in women after all? There’s no rule about who you have to be interested in, you don’t have to disguise your uninterest with all this nonsense about how evil women are.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
11 years ago

NWO was talking about how he had “the guys” over for beers and they all hung out and laughed at manboobz and told him what to type.

Gawd, really? How pitiful. Though it might explain some things if Slavey’s screeds were written by a committee! 😛

Bad_dog
Bad_dog
11 years ago

Everyone else is sharing vd stories I feel like doing that as well, although *my* v-day was not that eventful. First I travelled two hours in a truck with six other smelly geologists, then boarded a loud prop plane for a two hour flight back south. My jeep thankfully started after sitting in Canadian winter for 2 weeks. I then got groceries and some drinks and made the 45 min drive home. I got home and had to shovel over a foot of snow to get in my door. I then got a call from my guy (we didn’t break up yay!!!) that his truck was trapped in his driveway and he couldn’t visit. We had to settle to chatting on the phone and catching up after weeks of no contact (yay for camps with no phone and barely existent Internet). I then got a call from my bestie saying she had her baby with no drugs or complications. I then spent the rest of the day and evening alone just kind of relaxing after my two week shift.

So ya, I don’t get what these dudes are on about with valentines day. It’s like their entire life experience was gained from watching shitty tv. Not even good tv. Shitty tv.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
11 years ago

It sounds like an interesting VD, if not a romantic one, Bad_dog. 🙂 Glad your news was good! What was the geology expedition about?

pecunium
11 years ago

I’m in favor of any holiday that involves discounted candy afterwards. Most guys I know feel much the same way.

Those would be the Feast of St. Mark Downs. It’s celebrated 3-4 times a year.

drst
drst
11 years ago

Actually “Avatar” was the CGI version of “Ferngully.” Just not as good. *g*

LBT
LBT
11 years ago

RE: pecunium

Ah, my patron saint. Well, him and Saint Dymphna.

pecunium
11 years ago

Kim: I don’t agree that US states need to revisit their rape laws though – the federal govt needs to take it out of their hands.

I think, the way our system is built, that’s a really bad idea. Rape would be something the local gov’ts could (and would) ignore. To get the feds to prosecute would require the FBI (and the Dept. of Justice) to get involved. It would be a low priority.

There are federal statutes which apply to murder; they are almost never used. The same is true for civil rights. When the feds are made to care (a la Rodney King’s abusers being acquitted in one of the most bogus trials I’ve observed) they will get involved, but even in cases (like kidnapping) where they have primary jurisdiction; anytime they want to exercise it, they don’t always take part.

It would make rape a crime which is a lot less prosecuted (see places like the Big Res, where they do have primary jurisdiction for things like rape to see how poorly they pursue it).

pecunium
11 years ago

An ex and I had a, general pattern: I’d buy her a power tool, and she’d take me to dinner.

This meant that when we broke up, I did have to go and buy my own power tools. It was completely worth it, as each of us got something we wanted. I got to spend time with her in a nice setting, where we ate things we usually wouldn’t (|NB, we didn’t do this on V-Day, but near), and she got tools; which we were both able to use to get things done.

Win-Win-Win.

Shiraz
Shiraz
11 years ago

Um, what the hell are beta satellites?

And dragon putz, do you realize how equally immature and entitled you sound when you post something like this — “If women learn to behave more respectably, I may grant them my interest.”
Who the fuck do you think you are, you ninny, to think anyone here cares who you date — and that you can condescend to adult women about behaving more “respectably”? You sound positively irritating…but go ahead and pretend you’re the one avoiding women and not the other way around.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

4? Valentina’s day, Easter, Halloween and what am I missing? Christmas?

KittySnide — don’t forget the “dances with walkers” chapter!

Bagelsan
Bagelsan
11 years ago

I used to go to the one in my hometown every Sunday, and play the piano and sing hymns with the folks who missed their Amazing Graces and I’ll Fly Aways.

That old music can be really powerful; I saw an incredible video of an old woman who was so far advanced with Alzheimer’s that she was effectively non-verbal actually respond to a person singing “He’s Got the Whole World in His Hands” and she sang along for the chorus. Crazy.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

Why does my autocorrect insist on Valentina?

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
11 years ago

Autocorrect wants a female saint, perhaps? 😛

Shiraz – beta satellites must be the moons of the gas giants, I suppose. Gas giant seems an apt term for these full-of-poisonous-fumes MRA and PUA types.

KittySnide
KittySnide
11 years ago

Argenti Aertheri,
ha! love it!!!!
I am picturing a “Parks and Rec” type thing… so much hilarity… like with school groups who come in and talk to the old folks like they’re children, or the people who cheat at games…

Bagelsan,
it really is something! My grandpa is 85 and has lost most of his hearing and is legally blind (though you wouldn’t know it from the way he drives the backhoe… mercy…) and his memory is starting to go, but hymn lyrics hold fast! if you start to sing one of the old songs he’ll join in with the baritone line and it’s a beautiful thing. memory and music are fascinating!

Jessay (@jessay)
11 years ago

But underneath all this is something actually a little darker. Not all men are getting blowjobs and other forms of sex for the presents Not all women are prostituting themselves on Valentines Day

*holds breath in hopes that html didn’t fail me*

Jessay (@jessay)
11 years ago

and it failed me, original quote was supposed to be struck through, gdi.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
11 years ago

The blockquote monster strikes again!

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

Jessay — did you put the <del> around the <blockquote>? The former is inline, the later, um, block — wrapping an inline element around a block element makes HTML cranky.

Jessay (@jessay)
11 years ago

Anyways, just echoing the sentiment of not caring about valentines myself. I’ve never expected a valentines present from the bf of 5 years, many of those years we’ve never even spent it together (due to work schedules and whatnot) and it hasn’t phased me even a bit. We do nice things for each other all year round. I don’t care for flowers, would rather spend a few hundred on an electronic device or other fun things that I’ll actually use. No need for blood diamonds here. Anything more than cheap jewelry is wasteful in my eyes. And yeah, last thing I need i chocolate. Still working on the candy I got from xmas.

That being said, from my feminist eyes, valentines is irrelevant. But to turn it into some “if you don’t get sex for the unoriginal, thoughtless gift you picked up because a commercial told you it guaranteed vaginal access,” false-entitlement fest. Yuck. Don’t get me wrong, I know people who are so materialistic that if they DON’T get flowers and chocolate and showered with attention on valentines day they will go off, but, as usual, that’s the exception, not the rule. If your s.o. acts like that you probably ought to find yourself another s.o.

Jessay (@jessay)
11 years ago

Haha, no I didn’t. I haven’t ever delved that deep into wordpress coding.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

Ahh, for future reference then, this should work —

<blockquote><del>struck out quote</del></blockquote>

Please work…

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

Lol, should’ve just struck out the text, not the commands too, but hey, it worked!